


Atonal

by EspadaIV, JKRobertson



Series: Consonance and Dissonance [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Celebrities, Coffee Shop, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Getting Back Together, Left Behind - Freeform, Post-Break Up, YouTube, recording artists, sudden wealth, ulquihime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:47:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 92,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21844669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspadaIV/pseuds/EspadaIV, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKRobertson/pseuds/JKRobertson
Summary: Part 2 in the Consonance and Dissonance series picks up as Ulquiorra leaves Orihime behind for LA and a bright music career.  Will the couple manage to keep things going long-distance?  Will Nel get in the way again, or will someone in California catch Ulquiorra's eye?  In the meantime, Orihime has to figure out where to go now that she's a college drop-out with not a lot of options.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo, Ulquiorra Cifer/Inoue Orihime, Ulquiorra Cifer/Kurotsuchi Nemu
Series: Consonance and Dissonance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573807
Comments: 59
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

\- I'm leaving Robinson now. <3

He texted her when he walked out of his room. Ulquiorra heard people whispering as he reached the lobby. He had a backpack, his laptop bag, and his guitar case. The movers had already gotten his stuff. Obscuras IV was leaving and everyone was talking about it. He looked horrible and he heard the camera shutters going off. More pictures of him were going to be floating around the internet.

Nanao just looked at him. "Welcome to the life of a celebrity," she said.

\- At the airport. Will text you when I get to LA.

He texted her when he landed in Los Angeles. Ulquiorra sighed as he gathered his luggage and followed Nanao to the car that was waiting. It was evening in California. It had to be later in Ohio. He wanted to talk to her. Would she be awake? Should he just text her again? 

Orihime got his messages and replied, but for whatever reason, none of her texts went through. She kept checking over and over. When she went to sleep, they still hadn’t sent.

Sometime in the middle of the night, all three replies went through at once.

\- I’m going to miss your room <3

\- Have a safe flight.

\- How was the flight? It’s weird that you’re gone.

The next morning, a song started floating through her mind. She laughed at first. It was so old. It was so _ not _ her. But the song wouldn’t leave her alone.

Maybe the song  _ was _ her.

This was another one for her meager guitar skills and her bed.

Besides, maybe he would appreciate having something to listen to as he woke up to his first day in LA. 

So, she looked up the tablature. This time, instead of pointing her camera at her poster of the anime character she liked to look at, she pointed it at herself and the guitar. It only showed her mouth and nose. It looked reminiscent of an old ObscurasIV video, as she sat in a plain t-shirt and jeans with her long auburn hair falling forward over each of her shoulders as she strummed chords and picked out simple melodies on her acoustic guitar.

Then she began singing.

_ Talk to me softly _

_ There's something in your eyes _

_ Don't hang your head in sorrow _

_ And please don't cry _

_ I know how you feel inside I've _

_ I've been there before _

_ Something's changin' inside you _

_ And don't you know _

_ Don't you cry tonight _

_ I still love you baby _

She got it done in one take. She had sung it much like she had sung “You’ve got a Friend”, soft, and with the intimate quality of a lullaby. This was not a song she was performing for views or for art. These were just her sentiments to him. Yeah, their relationship was in the toilet and there was no way she trusted him, but she would be a bold-faced liar if she said she didn’t care about him deeply. By the time the video was published, it wasn’t even seven a.m. in LA. She sent him a message on Instagram since her texts were being so wonky.

Vega.Strife00

Sorry my texts are being weird.

I made you a welcome home present.

I’d tag you, but I don’t want to draw a lot of attention to it so just check my YT. <3

Ulquiorra sat on the deck of his mother’s Malibu Hills home, looking out at the city. He sighed and saw the notification staring him in the face. She had uploaded a new video. He hadn’t been to sleep yet. He couldn’t sleep. It was too much here. There were too many people. There was too much noise. There were too many miles between him and Orihime. 

  
  
He was still hurting.

Things weren’t okay between him and Orihime. They were looking up, though. He’d gone through their entire message history, rereading their words that they had sent to each other. Maybe that’s where they needed to be. They needed to be back at square one; to spend time and get to know each other on an intimate level. He needed that.

ObscurasIV

It’s fine. I was thinking we could use this for now.

Go back to the start.

Coldplay’s Scientist comes to mind.

Can’t sleep. I hope you have a good day.

His mother opened one of the sliding glass doors and stood there. He heard her behind him. “We have a lot to do today,” she said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“There’s coffee made. I’m sure you know how to run the cappuccino machine,” Maria stated. 

Ulquiorra turned his head enough to stare at his mom from over his shoulder. How the hell did his parents conceive him? How had his father fallen in love with something like this? “How much time do I have?”

“An hour, so whatever you want to do to screw around, you need to be ready to go. Nanao will be here to get us.”

And that’s how his life started in California, after he listened to her new video then commented on it with just a simple heart. He couldn’t put into words what his heart felt. That’s how his life began as a professional musician and he fucking hated it.

There were meetings to attend, which were boring as hell. Ulquiorra never paid attention to them. That annoyed his mother. He would scroll through Orihime’s Instagram or do something else to take his mind off of things. 

He had appointments for stylists. They wanted the piercings back. They wanted tattoos. They wanted him to project this bad boy image. Ulquiorra wasn’t a bad boy. He wanted to be himself.

There were meetings with the lawyer. He had business meetings. He met with some songwriters. He met with other artists. Ulquiorra stayed with his mother for two weeks until she shipped him down to her Laguna Beach home.

“You’re depressing to be around.”

“Thanks,” he said with a disgruntled expression. Ulquiorra was currently picking apart a salad while sitting in his mom’s kitchen. He hadn’t really eaten since that Friday before he left. He sighed and pushed the plate away. “So you’re kicking me out?”

“No, you’re going down to Laguna Beach. The house down there is never used. The cleaning lady comes in and dusts. That’s about the most action that place sees. Nanao will be by every day to check on you or take you wherever you need to go,” Maria said as she rummaged through the stainless steel refrigerator. She was about to go workout. “I’ve already had the shipping crate delivered there. You can pick a bedroom and move your stuff in there. There’s a studio there too. There’s a car down there you can use.”

Ulquiorra nodded. He was beginning to understand how Orihime felt when she said she never felt good enough. He was feeling inadequate and inferior. It was like he wasn’t enough for his mom. 

She must have seen his face. “Hey, I’m used to living alone. Having you around has really put a cramp in my lifestyle. I’m not much of a mother, Ulq.”

He snorted. No shit. She hadn’t been a mother to him in almost fifteen years. But now that he thought about it… If he was living in a house by himself, he’d be able to do as he pleased. He could do anything he wanted. “It’s fine. Really,” he said.

Ulquiorra was warming up to the idea. He wouldn’t have anyone hovering over him to eat. He could talk to Orihime on the phone. He could take pics without Nanao hounding him. “I understand. So do you have someone?”

“You mean a partner?”

He nodded.

Maria shrugged. “I’ve got something.”

“The guy you left dad for?”

“I’m going to the gym,” Maria said. “Nanao will be around shortly!”

He messaged Orihime.

ObscurasIV

Mom is kicking me out. I get to live in her beach house.

Joy /sarcasm. I’m cramping her style.

Whatever that means.

When he got to the Laguna Beach house, Ulquiorra was impressed. The place was massive. It looked like one of those houses that were seen on TV when they did shows about California. It was modern with a rather minimalistic design. As soon as Nanao opened the door he knew this was a high end place and it suited his mother fine because it was very dramatic. There were views of the ocean. There was a split level courtyard. The pool was crystal clear and perfect. His assistant even showed him where the sauna and steam room were.

"Okay so three bedrooms, five baths, you've got over four thousand square feet to spread out in. No parties Ulquiorra,” Nanao said as they walked through the home. “Studio is across the courtyard. That’s the only way you can access it. There’s a car in the garage for you to use, here are the keys. I’ll send a text of your schedule by nine pm.”

“My mom--”

“Your mom wants people to hold your hand. I have a life I’d like to get back to,” she said. “You’re a big boy and are about to get thrown into the shark tank. The moment you go into Espada Records’ studios and you choke, you’re going to face backlash. All we have on you is what you’ve put on YouTube and that shitty recording of Vega IV.”

“Orihime’s and my performance wasn’t shitty.”

“You’re obviously deaf. I said the shitty recording. I said nothing about Orihime… Vega… Whatever.” Nanao left a few minutes later after instructing him on how to set the home alarm. She told him a lot of the stuff was automated just press buttons and ta-da!

He picked out the biggest bedroom, which overlooked the ocean on the second floor. He proceeded to tear apart the shipping crate in the garage and took all his stuff to the new room. The box that he had put the contents of his desk in stayed taped up and went into the empty closet. 

Flopping down on the bed, Ulquiorra decided to stare at his phone for a while.

Vega.Strife00

I’m sorry. It sucks to feel unwanted.

But I’m sure there are other reasons, don’t you?

I got roped into doing a performance for the school’s winter gala

WTF. I thought I was done with this classical BS, lol.

I don’t know. Maybe I should go in and just sing wonderwall for 45 minutes.

You can waltz to that, right? LMAO

Let me know how the new place is <3.

ObscurasIV

It’s huge. 4000+ Sq Ft

There are five bathrooms? A pool, a studio, spa area.

It’s on the beach so I can see the ocean from my room.

I’m sorry you got roped into bullshit.

Are you still doing my dad’s party?

Vega.Strife00

OOOOooooooh, that is ginormous. 

You could fit 50 of me in there and not even know I was there.

Can you send me some pictures? I’d like to imagine you there with context, lol.

Meh, I think the performance might be fun. No Aizen involvement. 

It’s just me and ol’ Ivanhoe.

I don’t know about the party; they wanted us to do it together so they might have changed their minds.

I haven’t talked to your dad since the night of Tier’s party.

Oh. Ulquiorra sighed as he got off the huge bed. He decided to indulge Orihime’s request and took several pictures of the bedroom and then of himself standing in front of the floor to ceiling length windows. He also took a picture of the courtyard from where he was. 

As he sat down on the bed, Ulquiorra was hit with a wave of loneliness. It was as if he was standing on a beach and letting storm surges pound his body. He had a huge bed and only he was sleeping in it. He had access to a big house and he was the only one wandering around in it. The ocean was outside his window and he was just a fucking speck in space. 

He made a new post on Instagram, tagging Orihime in the post and added the various other stuff that would get attention. All the pictures went on one post with the first photo being him standing in front of the window.

ObscurasIV

I’ll send you some “private” pics later.

I’m sure he does. My dad likes you

Vega.Strife00

Oh? Now I have something to look forward to XD

I know he likes me. I am very likeable. 

Except to Steve. He would even hate baby Jesus, I bet.

She got the feeling from the pictures she saw on Instagram that he was feeling down. She was trying to make him laugh. She decided to wait a couple minutes and then write more, thinking the consistency would make it feel more like she was there.

Vega.Strife00

I have gossip.

That Michelle girl got caught blowing Creepy Ishida in a practice room.

LMAO.

They are both going to have disciplinary action taken.

They deserve each other, to be honest. 

But imagine - what if, like, they got married and procreated and had creepy little evil weirdo children?

*shudders*

He wanted to laugh but only managed a small half-assed smile. Tears pricked at his eyes as he tried to send a message back. He didn’t really want to hear about Michelle or any of those other assholes that were in her department.

ObscurasIV

Not those kind of private pics.

Steve would punt babies.

I wish I had one of you here. I don’t want 50 Vegas, just one.

That made her heart twist in her chest. The thought that he could have had her there, but he blew it, wouldn’t leave her alone. She wanted to be there, too, had none of the bullshit happened. Now she was looking at an uncertain future. One in which the only thing she had going for her was twelve to sixteen hours per week clearing dishes at Sado’s. She was going to have to start looking for a roommate or something. Semester ended the second week of December, and then she was out on her ass. She had about a month to come up with a plan.

She sighed. He was supposed to be her friend, right? Wouldn’t a friend talk to the other about things like this? Her mouth twisted to the side and she tapped out a reply that tested the waters.

Vega.Strife00

Sorry to be a bit of a bummer, but…

I’m kind of worried about what’s next for me.

I have no ideas.

Medical experiments? Assassin for hire? Lol.

I’m open to suggestions or guidance or pep talks.

He watched each of her messages pop up, frowning with each one. 

ObscurasIV

Could find a rich celebrity boyfriend?

I’m joking.

Bc yeah.

I’m in the same boat. I have no clue what’s going to happen next.

My dad has a lot of contacts for weddings.

He would help you if you need it.

You could

Never mind. I’m being stupid

Nuh uh. Nope.

Vega.Strife00

I could what? 

You are allowed to be stupid.

You’ve been very stupid before.

Might as well go all in.

“Thanks for that vote of confidence, Orihime,” Ulquiorra muttered to himself. 

ObscurasIV

...

Nah, I’m okay now. Logic kicked in.

Ask Sado for more hours?

I’ve got to run. I have a band management lunch.

Orihime’s disappointment was palpable. She didn’t respond. She left early to go to choir. Maybe she could hang out in the lobby and find out more about what happened to Ishida and that Michelle girl. Maybe she’d see one of the girls she had talked to at Tier’s party. Since she had gone, things had turned around for her in the department. She was almost regretting having to quit at semester. People were nice to her. The rumors had stopped. She was having pleasant interactions with people.

The only downside to walking to the Fine Arts building was the necessity of passing Robinson on the way. Not only did it make her miss Ulquiorra, but there was always the chance of running into Nel.

Up until today, she had only spotted her across campus a handful of times, but they were nowhere near one another. Nel was hard to miss, though, with her neon hair. But today, she was not so lucky.

“Well, if it isn’t Orihime.” Nel practically shouted the words as Orihime walked by. The teal-haired woman huffed as someone said something to her in a hushed tone. “Thanks for driving Ulquiorra away.”

Orihime’s head snapped up and she saw the face of the person she hated most in the universe. She rolled her eyes and decided to be sarcastic. “Oh, my pleasure, Nelliel. Ten out of ten, would drive away again. Oh wait, that’s right, you have no basis for comparison.”

How dare that little slut! Nel was about to lunge for Orihime but hands went around her arms. “At least I got what I wanted from him,” Nel said in reply. “Gold digging bitch.”

Orihime was not impressed. “Ha! Do I look like I’m wearing Dior to you? And what, praytell, did you  _ get _ ? Lifelong disdain?”

“The last laugh. And I’ll get it again,” Nel answered, a smirk slowly spreading over her face. “You know you were just after him because he has a lot of fans.”

“You are a dumb bitch. The last laugh is only the last if there are no subsequent laughs. And I think you’ll recall I was his first fan. I’m sorry for you Nel. You are incredibly petty. Try not to wrap anymore cars around any trees. Bye,” Orihime said, shaking her head in disbelief and continuing her walk. On the way she decided to send Ulquiorra a message.

Vega.Strife00

Ran into Nel.

Did you know I’m a gold digging bitch? LOL

News to me, too.

Anyway, apparently she “got the last laugh” on you and also will “get it again,” so be forewarned.

Ulquiorra had lied about the lunch. He had nowhere to go today. He had an off day which he was told would be rare. He looked at his phone and sighed. 

ObscurasIV

Lovely. And no I didn't. Nice.

Why don’t you two just find somewhere and kick each other’s asses?

Might be faster than squabbling.

I think I rolled my eyes so hard they fell out of my head. Don’t care about Nel.

Actually… I’d prefer it if you don’t message me about her or Michelle.

Kinda brings out the cringe and nightmares.

Thanks.

Orihime sighed when she read his message. Things really hadn’t changed. Despite his crying and pleas, he was still not really interested in anything she was dealing with. She shook her head and replied.

Vega.Strife00

You got it.

I’ll find someone else to talk to about this kind of thing.

Have a nice meeting.

He didn’t feel bad. It was a boundary. They needed them. Ulquiorra didn’t care about Nel and the fact that his so-called former best friend had tried to drug him and almost--Ulquiorra sighed. He didn’t want to think about it. Even if he said that Nel had assaulted him there was that video where he had stayed silent while she did as she pleased.

With a sigh, he decided to crawl into bed. Sleeping would be better than staying awake at the moment. 

ObscurasIV

This is me picking you over her.

I don’t care about her.

Unless she physically harms you, there’s nothing I can do.

She shook her head. He didn’t see how he was hurting her with his lack of concern. It didn’t matter. He was there. She was here. That was probably never going to change. This thing they had going on between them was just letting one another down softly, wasn’t it? He’d eventually get busy and successful and the messages would taper off and he’d move on.

Orihime had to keep this in mind, or it would hurt a lot more when it happened, because she was pretty sure it was going to happen. Everyone left her in the end. She had been weak to reach out and rely on people. 

She scoffed at herself. She would do it again. She had to. She was not proud of considering taking Ulquiorra’s father up on his offer to come work for him, but she was running out of time and options. Honestly, there was no reason for her to stay anywhere near OSU. The friendly faces in the music department were just that. Faces. They weren’t friends. The only person she could call a friend was Ichigo, and that was on a part-time basis at best. He was such a fucking boyscout when it came down to it. She liked that about him, though. In a pinch, he could be counted on at least thirty percent of the time. That was thirty percent more than anyone else she knew.

Except Jon Cifer. Ugh. She needed to push the idea of relying on him from her mind. It was too comfortable; too tempting a thought. She desperately wanted to be near people who cared for her, but it wouldn’t be fair. That was Ulquiorra’s father, not hers.

By the time she made it to the Fine Arts building, it was time for her class. She never responded to Ulquiorra’s message. After class, she went back to her room and took a picture of Ulquiorra’s plants and sent them to him.

Vega.Strife00

Bert and Ernie, Jr. are doing well. They say hi.

***

His first week in Laguna Beach was lonely. Ulquiorra hated it. He didn’t talk much to anyone, including Orihime. He smiled at her photo of the plants and declined to tell her that their names were actually Vega and Strife. It wouldn’t do to start a fight, especially over plants and fictional characters.

It was the second Saturday that he was in the house that he began to notice it. 

Fuck. 

It would be fine. No one would notice. People were starving themselves all the time in the music business. Celebrities everywhere had this shit down.

Ulquiorra had a busy day today anyway. He couldn’t worry about it. He was going to a local place to have his ear piercings put back in. There would also be talk of this tattooing nonsense. Not that Ulquiorra wanted one. It would be good for his image though. That’s what everyone always said. It was good for his image.

What would be good for his image was a full night’s sleep and a meal but that probably wouldn’t happen for a while. 

The sharp pain was brief and soon he had a multitude of posts and rings shoved back into his ears. He couldn’t decide on a tattoo design so the artist said they could work on it a different day. His ears were throbbing by the time he got home. He snapped a pic and uploaded it to Instagram. It showed the side of his face and his ear. His jaw looked too angular. 

  
Fuck it. 

Vega.Strife00

Hey, um… wow. Surprise!

Your poor ears. It looks ouchy. 

Also, I know you’ve been really busy

But don’t forget to take care of yourself and eat properly, okay?

<3

He scowled at her message. What was that supposed to mean? She didn’t know. No one would have told Orihime about his past.

ObscurasIV

They hurt. :|

I’m taking care of myself. 

Don’t worry.

That was a lie but Ulquiorra could probably pretend everything was fine over texts.

She pressed her lips into a line at his response. She really couldn’t tell much about his physical condition through that photo, and since his selfie when he moved into the beach house, she hadn’t seen another picture of him. Maybe she was over-reacting. Still…

Vega.Strife00

Glad to hear it. Sleep well too. 

Don’t need you looking Keith Richards. 

You’re still a teenager, for the next year and change, anyway.

Speaking of… Do you have an office or an address where I can send you a birthday present?

It’s nothing much but I want to send it to you.

Ulquiorra sighed. He didn’t want anything from Orihime. She shouldn’t be thinking about him or spending money on him. 

ObscurasIV

Keith Richards is immortal.

Uh, I can ask my mom.

I mean you could send it to this place.

I just don’t want the address to get out and have stalkers.

Vega.Strife00

I get it. I hope you know I would never tell anyone

but… yeah.

Anyway, what’s the name of your management company?

I could send it there. 

It’s just a little thing.

She was feeling discouraged and emotional. She knew he would pull away from her, but she hadn’t expected it to be so much so soon.

Vega.Strife00

I’m stupid. 

If you don’t want it it’s fine.

I could just send you a picture of it and toss it.

It really has no value or anything.

In the end it’s just junk.

ObscurasIV

You could give it to me in person.

Do not toss it.

Vega.Strife00

Okay. 

I just wanted to give it to you before your birthday, but I guess I can hold onto it.

ObscurasIV

Maybe I’m coming back before my birthday?

Maybe my birthday present to myself is to see you?

God, that was risky, but Ulquiorra was already feeling down in the dumps, so it wouldn’t matter if he just piled more angst and sadness on himself.

Orihime’s heart stopped. This was unexpected.

Vega.Strife00

WHAT?!?!?!

Are you serious!?

OMG!! T__T

Really?

ObscurasIV

You didn’t say we were done. 

I made a promise to come back, didn’t I?

Unless things have changed.

Besides, I need to see my plant children.

She chuckled. She had sorely missed this side of him. Sniffing and clearing her eyes, she replied. She was tired of trying to protect herself. She was allowed to be weak and honest sometimes, right?

Vega.Strife00

The only thing that has changed is that I miss you so much.

Your plant children do too.

I can’t believe it. *^__^*

She was on cloud nine. She was about to write to ask for more details when Ichigo called.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Orihime. Want to rehearse for the Gala today?”

“Yeah, a bit later. Do you have a practice room?”

“Yes. Also, other news, I lined up a gig we can share.”

“Oh yeah? When?”

“Well… It’s the day after the Gala. December seventh. I got a wedding and reception. I can give you the music for the wedding today, but the reception is cocktail lounge so we can just reprise Vega Highwell stuff.”

“Wow. Um, that’s great. Thank you,” she responded, slightly surprised.

Ichigo chuckled. “Yeah, well, don’t say I never did anything for you. Anyway, I have the practice room from two so see you.”

“Alright, bye,” Orihime said and hung up. Her mood was even better. Gigs like the one Ichigo had paid well. Much better than the minimum wage she got from Sado’s.

Vega.Strife00

More good news! I got a gig.

A wedding ceremony and cocktail hour. $$$ yay!

Her messages improved his mood. It was nice that he could bring some joy to her day. Ulquiorra took a deep breath. It was worth a shot.

ObscurasIV

I want to hear you later. Can I call?

I mean if now is okay.

I miss you too. I can’t wait to hold you again.

Shit; that was probably taking things too far. 

Orihime scoffed when she read his messages and rolled her eyes.  _ Could _ he call? Please. 

She went through her contacts and tapped the phone icon under his name.

Ulquiorra fumbled with the phone, almost dropping it on the marble floor. “Hello!” he said.

“Hi. You don’t have to ask to call me. You’re my… My person.”

He chuckled. “I’m your person?” Ulquiorra asked. “I have to ask. It’s only polite Veggs.”

She affected an old codger accent. “Back in my day, whippersnapper, we only had tin cans and a string! Calling was the only means of communication worth doing! We could only text with smoke signals!” She didn’t know what she was doing. She was kind of giddy to be speaking to him, and her nerdiness was making its presence known.

Ulquiorra shook his head and flopped back onto the huge couch in the living room. “You’re silly, but it’s adorable, Woman.”

She laughed at herself in an embarrassed manner. “Well, uh, yeah. Guilty. And yes. You’re my person.”

“Can I ask you to elaborate on that?” He didn’t want to get his hopes up too much. “I need to know.”

“Um, well,” she said, her cheeks heating slightly. “If I’m happy and want to tell someone about it, that someone is you. If I’m sad, I want you to tell me it’s going to be okay. When I’m bored or lonely, I want to talk to you. When I want to go on an adventure, you are the person I want to go with. You’re my person. I don’t know if I’m explaining that well.”

“I get it,” he replied with a smile on his face. “You’re my person, too. I’m afraid of bothering you too much. Being out here and dealing with all this is overwhelming.”

“I bet. You can always call me. Didn’t I tell you that a long time ago?”

He had to think back and remember their conversations. Finally Ulquiorra hummed, “Mmhm, I remember, but you probably don’t want to hear my voice at three in the morning when I’m just getting to bed or five am when I can’t sleep.”

“Uh, yeah I do. I hope you’re sleeping better than that though.”

Vega was supposed to be his best friend. He could tell her anything right? “No, I haven’t slept very good since that party,” Ulquiorra replied.

“Hmm,” she said in a thoughtful way. “Wanna talk about it? Might make you feel better.”

“I’d much rather forget that it ever happened, because I get nervous and uncomfortable about the entire situation. I should talk about it but--I--That video-- I keep seeing the moment I passed out and she--” Ulquiorra sighed. This was stupid. Maybe he needed to see a therapist.

Orihime’s mood turned serious. “You’re right, you know. I should tell you that it was Ichigo that came to find me upstairs because he was worried. I remember saying, like it was a joke, that I should go rescue you, but I am really glad that I did.” She sighed. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I think you need to deal with this. Maybe it might be too hard to talk about it with me, but you should talk about it with someone. I’ve heard LA is the place to be for talk therapy.”

Ulquiorra sighed. He knew that. A change of subject was in order. One that didn’t make him want to crawl out of his skin. “So how are the plants? Have you been watering them?”

“Yes sir,” she responded, the smile back in her voice.

“There’s no plants in this place. There’s not even grass anywhere around. It’s all concrete.”

“No palm trees on the beach? You’re not really selling this place, Ulquiorra,” she giggled a bit. “I mean, I’ll probably have to work at Sado’s for about seven years to afford to be able to visit you but it is on the bucket list.”

A smile spread across his face. “Actually I had something for you. A Christmas present, if you can get the time off,” Ulquiorra said. He lowered his voice although he was the only person in the beach house.

“You  _ had _ it? Well, as of December fifteenth I am technically homeless, so I am going to be real free. Free as a hobo,” she laughed at that.

“Well it’s more like an idea I had? Maybe you could come out here,” Ulquiorra said. “I mean I had the idea you could stay with me. There’s three bedrooms in this place. There’s a lot of room. It’s just me knocking around in here.”

She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial volume. “Are you trying to tell me that you are considering getting yourself a pet Vega for Christmas?” 

“Maybe? I’d have to register it as my emotional support Vega but...” Ulquiorra couldn’t fight the grin. “Yes?”

She grinned as well. “I guess that’s a possibility. I love my creeper van but it’s pretty cold to sleep in.” She was slightly ashamed of herself for being so agreeable. But honestly, it was just a matter of practicality. She had nothing keeping her here. There was probably more opportunity for her in California. “It’s not a bad idea, actually.”

He had to swallow. This could be good. This could also be bad. Ulquiorra wouldn’t get his hopes up. Besides, there was no guarantee she would want to be with him like that again. He just had to make it until next week. He’d be back home for his dad’s cocktail party. “It’s just a week. In a week, I’ll be there. I’m going to hug you. I’m going to kiss you. I want to hold you.”

She knew this wasn’t the answer to all their problems. Still, this was not something she would refuse. “A week? Can I just go to sleep now and wake up when you get here? Because I am ready for the hugs and kisses. I think I told you that I miss you,” she laughed a bit; she knew she was being cheesy, but it was nice. He sounded happy. She was happy. “Are you surprising your dad? Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?”

It was nice to hear the light tone of her voice. Then she brought up his father. “Uh, my dad and I haven’t spoken since the hospital. I texted him but no reply. He’s pretty angry at me and I can’t say I blame him.”

She smiled. “You scared him to death. And yeah, he was disappointed and angry, but more than anything, he loves you. When I called him…” she paused, remembering that night, “by the way, thanks for using my name as your phone passcode. Made it much easier for me to find his number. I only guessed wrong twice. Anyway, you scared us both. We love you and we don’t want to see you hurt.”

“That’s not the only thing I use your name for,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What else?” She was curious. “I sincerely hope it’s not for anything bad.”

“The plant that’s in the white ceramic pot? She’s Vega. The one in the terracotta pot? That’s Strife.”

“Aww,” she said softly. “I love that.” She was quiet for a bit after that. “Maybe I should get myself a stuffed animal and name it Obscuras so I can sleep with it. Maybe a messenger owl. Oooh, or maybe that black dragon from that training dragon movie! That thing is adorable. What do you think?”

He scowled. “But I have my teeth and I plan on--” Ulquiorra stopped. It wouldn’t do to offend her by letting his hormones take over. This was the first time he had even thought about things like that. Clearing this throat, he said, “I hope this week flies by.”

“Me too. I’m sorry that I’m so uncool but it is what it is. I can’t wait to see you. Let me know your itinerary and I can come pick you up, Okay?”

“You’re fine, Orihime. I’ll let you know,” he said. “I’ve got something to do. So...”

“Oh, okay, sure,” she giggled. What was she doing just rambling like an idiot. “Sorry, I forget you’re like some Hotshot for real now.”

“No, I’ve got a couple hours but uh,” Ulquiorra said and then trailed off. He could feel his face turning red.

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?” she laughed.

He chuckled. “More like the bedroom,” he replied. “This hasn’t been a problem so far. I talk to you and well… here we are.”

“You mean, oh.” She chuckled to make him feel less embarrassed, but the last time she had seen him erect was when Nel had just jumped off of him. It lessened the flattery. “Well, don’t let me stop you then. I could always read the phonebook to your or something, you know, to help.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just throw myself into the pool, clothes and all.”

“You should go skinny dipping. I’ve always wanted to, but there’s always people around. I guess that’s supposed to be part of the fun but I don’t want people seeing my stretch marks.”

Hnnngh. She wasn’t helping his state any. In fact, Orihime was making it worse. He looked out the glass doors at the pool and then closed his eyes against the mental images that assaulted him. “You and me. The pool at night,” he murmured.

She continued, seemingly unaware about the effect she had on him. “I mean, I’ve used a big bath tub before, but it’s not the same. Still it would be pretty funny. Do you have any idea how buoyant boobs are? They just float out there… like floatation devices. It’s ridiculous.”

“Orihime, I didn’t need encouragement,” he said. 

“Oh come on, everybody needs to get their rocks off now and then. It’s stress relief.”

“Okay, what about you?” he asked. “When’s the last time?”

“Yesterday,” she said without shame or hesitation.

Hearing her say that made Ulquiorra stand. Screw this, he was going to his room. “Yesterday? That’s fucking hot. I’ve not since… well since we had sex the last time.”

“Oh, that is no good, Ulquiorra,” she cooed. This was too easy to fall back into. Not that she minded. She missed him. She wanted him to miss her, too. “You poor baby. You need to take care of yourself. I try to make it a daily habit.”

“Believe me, I want to. I think about you all the time,” he admitted as he walked down the hall and up the stairs. “Hearing your voice, though... I’m imagining it. Have you worn the bad habit yet?”

“I tried it on. I added it to the folder. It was, um… Inspirational. I missed you, you know.”

As soon as he was in the room, Ulquiorra was stripping off his t-shirt and jeans. He laid down on the bed, swallowing. He was nervous. This was just like the first couple times with her. “I’ve missed you. Did you like it? I mean was it a good fit? Can I--Can I see?”

“Yeah, It was very pretty, It felt nice. Check your messages and see for yourself.” She was enjoying this. When she had done this with Mr. Brazil, it felt weird and embarrassing. Uncomfortable. With Ulquiorra, it was hot. It was pleasant. She wanted him to feel good thinking about her. There was no shame in it. It made her happy.

His phone vibrated and Ulquiorra lifted it from his ear. He put it on speaker before he tapped on it. A groan left his throat as he saw the photo. He enlarged the photo. The black one piece lingerie thing he had gotten her fit her perfectly. It didn’t hang or droop. It showcased everything like a work of art. “I love your stretch marks by the way. I love everything about you.”

“Oh yeah?” she asked, playing it up, her mouth close to the receiver so he could hear her ambient breath. “Even how squishy my inner thighs are?” 

“They’re biteable. I love how they go around me,” Ulquiorra said as he studied the picture more. He let a hand drift down his stomach and worm it’s way under his boxers. Shit. Maybe he should ask her if she wanted to do this instead of just assuming things. “Woman?”

“Hmmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Do you want to do this?” He had to be dumb and ask.

“Yes. Thanks for asking nicely.”

“You know me, Veggs. I asked you if you wanted a dick pic,” he said as he wrapped his hand around his cock. Ulquiorra’s eyes closed as he began to stroke the length of it. “Tell me, what did you think of yesterday?”

“Well,” she started in a breathy voice, “I started thinking about my body and how it looked in a bad habit. Then I touched it, just, like, feeling how soft the skin was. Then I imagined my hands were yours. How your fingers would sink into my boobs. How they would drag down my ribs and hold onto my hips. How they would tease the places between my legs.”

She stopped talking for a bit, waiting for some kind of response, be it breathing or a request for more.

“Ohhh.” It came out as a moan as the images and memories replayed in his head. He could think back to the first time he had felt those tits. Had they not been interrupted that time, he wouldn’t have hesitated in losing his virginity to her. “I’ve got my hand around my dick and I wish it was your mouth. I want you on top of me so I can get my mouth on you.”

She whimpered. Suddenly she wished she was undressed as well. “I want to taste you again. I remember how you felt on my lips. How soft your skin felt against my tongue. How it felt when you would press inside of me. God, it was always the best when you got so deep inside of me that it felt like you might split me open if you went further. And I always wanted you to go further. Yesterday I laid back and spread my knees apart as wide as they could go and touched myself. I remembered how it felt when you would push inside of me so hard and fast that it felt like you were pushing the breath right out of my lungs,” she was really short of breath now, and she whined, crossing her legs and feeling the wetness move between her lower lips. “I miss you,” she breathed. “Even just thinking about you now… I’m so wet.”

He lifted his head to watch a bead of pre come leak from the tip. Fuck, with the words she was saying, it wouldn’t take much for him to get off. “I want to be inside of you. I want to make love to you over and over. I want you to get wet for me. I like hearing you say that.”

“Do you want to hear what you do to me?” she asked with a slight gasp at the end.

“Yes,” He said groaning. She always managed to make him want to come sooner than he anticipated. “Let me hear it.”

She set the phone down beside her and locked the inside lock of her door quickly. She didn’t anticipate Tatsuki returning, but she didn’t want to be caught knuckles deep inside of herself. She pulled down her jeans and underwear quickly and sat on her bed with her back to the wall and put the phone on speaker. “Okay,” she said, then put the phone down on the bed between her legs and began to touch herself, pushing two fingers inside and letting him hear how her wetness made soft smacking sounds as her fingers moved between her lips. She whined his name softly and closed her eyes.

He could hear it. Ulquiorra could hear every time she slid her fingers into her body. He moaned as he sped up the motions of his hand, stroking his cock up and down. “God, Orihime, you’re going to make me come. I can hear that and I wish I was the one fingering you right now,” he said. He was panting now.

“I want you,” she panted back. She knew exactly what to do to get herself off. It didn’t take her long. “Ulquiorra, I’m going to come,” she squeaked, letting herself go before he did, an urgent chorus of short whines following her words as her thighs shook around her fingers. As she reached her peak, she squealed out his name again softly, and when she was done, she kept her now drenched fingers moving, as she would until he had arrived to where she was.

Just hearing her brought back a flood of memories that caused his body to tense up. Listening to her cry out his name made him do the same. The tension in his body broke as he cried out, “Orihime!”

His orgasm was powerful and her name kept falling from his lips until it was a whimper. His legs were shaking and he felt drained.

She let herself pant until it tapered off into normal breathing at her body’s own pace. When she could take a regular breath, she picked up the phone with her clean hand and took it off speaker, brought it to her ear and said, “I love you, Ulquiorra. It’s always you, everytime I do that.”

“I love you too.” His breath was trying to become normal. It was slow going. “That’s the first time I’ve gotten hard since coming out here, Woman. Thank you. You’re the only one I want to do that to me.”

She believed him, too. Even with the bullshit Nel pulled, she knew it. She felt it in her gut that he had always meant it when he said that. She didn’t know why, she just did. She smiled. “Well, it was quite literally my pleasure,” she said and giggled. “I’m glad it’s laundry day.”

He laughed. “I might want to do laundry also. I’m hungry too. Do you think you could stay with me when I come back or can I stay with you?”

Aw. Dumb bunny. “Of course. Um, it sounds kind of cheesy, but--” she thought better of it. “Nevermind. Even my lack of cool sometimes needs to be reeled back,” she said, laughing nervously.

“Tell me,” he said. He wanted to hear every word she said. “Please?”

“Um, don’t go running for the hills, but I was going to say that this place doesn’t feel like home without you in it,” she said it quickly, then covered her red face with the back of her air-drying hand.

“Orihime, without you close to me, nothing feels like home.”


	2. Moon River

They talked until she had to go to class. He felt relaxed and at ease for the first time in weeks. Ulquiorra wanted to eat after he got off the phone with Orihime. The problem was there was nothing in the house. He had to go shopping or order something. It was no biggie to make a short list of stuff he might need while here.

He didn’t want to get too much, though. He grabbed his stuff after he cleaned himself up. A smile lit up his face as he texted Nanao his plans concerning the coming weekend. Ulquiorra got into the car that was provided to him and left the house. He didn’t know his way around Laguna Beach, but eventually with the help of his phone he found a grocery store.

While he was in town, Ulquiorra found a satisfactory Chinese restaurant and got himself some of those noodles that Orihime liked. He decided to be healthy and got some extra veggies in it.

When he arrived back at the house he took a picture of the noodles and sent it to her.

***

Orihime got Ulquiorra’s message as she was leaving choir and replied as she walked back to upper campus.

\- Jealous! That looks so good. Drooling is a good look for me, right? Lol

She smiled as she pocketed her phone and went home. She was feeling good about what happened on the phone between her and Ulquiorra a few hours earlier. She felt like they had reconnected after having drifted apart. Things were still far from perfect, but she was happier. When she got home, she texted Ulquiorra again. The picture he sent of the noodles had made her reminisce about their first “date”.

\- Hey Ernie, I’m gonna hunker down for the rest of the night and finish our HP marathon. If you get bored, feel free to bug me. ~Hermione

***

He smiled at her message. After he ate a little bit and put the groceries away, Ulquiorra found himself In the studio. He got acquainted with the equipment in the rooms and the set up his keyboard. His guitar and stand were also set up in the room. He would record.

A photo was snapped and sent by text to Orihime. 

\- look at my new playground! I want to record something in here with you. 

He took another one, this time showing his face with a hint of a smile. The dark circles were apparent under his eyes and his face looked slightly gaunt. Had he let it get that bad? It had only been… a couple of weeks… no, it had been almost a month since he actually sat down and ate something substantial. He needed to quit doing that. He had promised people that he wouldn’t drift back into that mindset.

After getting himself a bottle of water from the kitchen, Ulquiorra sat down in the studio and set up his mics and the cameras. This time he didn’t hide his face. He tuned his guitar and looked up the music for the song he was going to sing. 

“The past few weeks have been crazy. This is for someone special in my life. She’s my person; my Hermione. Thank you Vega Strife,” he said and smiled. “This is Swallowed by Bush.”

Between takes Ulquiorra texted the redhead.

\- I wish I was there watching with you. Maybe we can have another hp marathon? You know, spend all day in bed, watching it and make love/fuck (lol) during the boring parts?

Orihime read the text and blushed, and she decided a picture was worth more than words. She turned around so that the movie would be visible in the background of the frame and took a wide-angle selfie, her head tilted to the side a bit with her hair flipped over one side of it to show off the blush that almost matched the short,deep rose-colored satin nightgown she was wearing. She added the text, “sounds like a solid plan to me,” and sent it back.

Hnnngh. That was nice. He really didn’t need his dick getting hard again. Another orgasm like the one he had earlier would probably kill him.

\- damn you’re trying to get me up again? I think it’s working ;)

It only took him about fifteen more minutes to record the song how he wanted it to sound. He texted Orihime again.

\- new video in about an hour. Need to edit and mix.

A new recording? How long had it been? Too long, to her mind.

\- awesome! I’m really excited to hear you sing again. :D I was thinking you should probably do some books on tape and a lullaby mix tape for me too, while you’re at it in that fancy studio. JK, LOL. Although on second thought if you did that would be awesome and I would listen to them all the time. (Starts furiously working on birthday list for next year)

He grinned at her response. It kind of made him feel sentimental too. She wanted to hear him. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to do all of the things they were doing before his self-doubt and stupidity had almost destroyed them.

\- anything you want. I will do anything in my power to grant it; songs, bad habits, tender words of endearment. It’s all because of you. You gave me hope for all of this.

Orihime wasn’t expecting the message he sent. It was heartfelt and made her chest swell and her eyes tear. She took a minute to gather her thoughts before she replied.

\- I won’t lie. I want a lot from you. But I’ll be happy enough if you tell me you love me and sing me songs. Maybe you can call me before bed and sing me a lullaby over the phone? No editing, redos or recordings.

Ulquiorra looked at the clock. It was late where she was.

\- I hate time zones. As soon as the video is done rendering, I’ll call you, woman. 

\- Not a problem. You know I’m a night owl. I’ll wait up.

Twenty minutes later, the video was uploading. He went back into the studio and called her again. “Hey,” He said when she picked up.

“Hi, how’d it go?” she asked, her voice somewhat sleepy.

“You’ll have a surprise in the morning,” he said as he paced the room. “I’m in the studio right now. You sound tired.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, you may have worn me out a bit today. Not that I regret it or anything.”

Heh, if she was tired now, next week was going to render her useless. “That picture you sent earlier almost got me going again. I think you were trying to wear me out.”

“You silly man. I know that when we were together we didn’t bother much with sleepwear, but what I’m wearing now is just what I usually wear to bed. Why wear something frumpy when I can be pretty? That’s how I sold it to myself when I bought these things, anyway.”

“Maybe tomorrow I can send you a couple of photos of where I think that stuff would look perfect,” he said.

“If you send me pictures of your bedroom floor I’m going to roll my eyes so hard.”

Damn, she had called him out. He laughed. “I was thinking the other half of my closet.” His tone was light but he was being serious.

She was silent in response, but only because she was grinning and blown away by this proposition. When her brain and mouth finally decided to cooperate again, she huffed and then asked, “for real?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “Come out as a Christmas present to visit. If you like it, maybe when the beginning of the year rolls around you can become a permanent addition to Casa de Cifer.”

She took a slightly sharp breath and then smiled. “Okay,” she answered in a tiny voice. This was a big deal. Yeah, it was still hypothetical, but he was asking her to cohabitate. This was serious, and she wanted it. “But remember,” she sniffed. “Pet Vegas need lots of pet pets and they like to sleep in bed with you.”

He was blushing now. Ulquiorra raked his teeth over his bottom lip and grinned. “I think I can handle that. I like petting Vegas, or as I know them by their scientific name, Orihime Inoues. What lullaby do you want?”

“I get to pick?” She asked, perking up slightly while pulling back her blanket and sheet and climbing under them.

“You want me to sing you to sleep, so yes, you get to pick.”

“Um, well, once you mentioned the song, Moon River. I’d like to hear that.” The fact that she felt slightly self conscious with this request was perceptible.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes, letting his emotions overcome him for a moment. He loved Orihime. “Moon river wider than a mile. I'm crossing you in style, someday. A dream maker...”

***

Nanao was pissed off the next day. “You can’t just make plans! What if something important had come up?”

“Did it?”

“No.”

“Then it’s okay. Really. I’m going to be leaving late Thursday night and getting to Port Columbus on Friday morning,” Ulquiorra said. He was busy packing for said trip. “Hey Nan, where would I find a lingerie store?”

“A what?”

“Lingerie store?”

“A WHAT?” she screeched. “Are you planning to buy something for yourself?”

Ulquiorra’s brow furrowed. The only time that had crossed his mind was when Orihime had said it. “No, dumbass. It’s for...”

“Go on...”

“It’s for my pet.”

“WHAT? WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCKING WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN ULQ?”

Oh. My. God. He was dying. Ulquiorra’s face was red with embarrassment. “It’s for Vega!” he shouted.

The yelling stopped and the laughter began. “I don’t even want to know. I can text you directions, any particular brand you want or just--”

“I want something nice for her but I don’t know her measurements. The last time I bought something for her it was a small,” Ulquiorra explained.

“Did she grow in that time?”

Scoff. “Are you saying she’s fat?”

“... No. She’s… meaty.”

Ulquiorra didn’t like his assistant’s tone. “She’s tiny, thank you very much. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a plane ticket to buy and other things to do, like decide on this tattoo I’m supposed to get.”

He didn’t do any of that. Ulquiorra found himself wandering down to the studio. He and Orihime were going to do some great stuff in this part of the house. They were going to record and collaborate. They would have sex in the pool. They would watch movies on that huge couch. They would have breakfasts in the modern kitchen. A smile came across his face.

***

Orihime woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She hadn’t slept that well since before Ulquiorra’s night in the hospital. She sat up and smiled a huge grin.

“What are you smiling at?” A disembodied voice from across the room had posed the question.

“Tatsuki! You’re here! Why?”

“It’s my room, too you know,” Tatsuki said with a frown. “So why are you so happy? You’ve been moping for weeks.”

“Um, well… I just found out Ulquiorra is coming back to town this weekend,” she said quickly and then sighed as she fell back into bed, the grin growing impossibly wide and a blush dusting her cheeks as she recalled how she had fallen asleep. “I’ve just really been missing him.”

“So… I guess that whole video thing has been resolved?” Tatsuki was kind; she thought they should have broken up right away but she kept her opinion to herself. For now, anyway.

“Well, we still need to talk about that, I think, but for now we just need to see each other. It’s been a long time and I just love him so much, Tatsuki. I know you don’t get it, but there is a lot about Ulquiorra and Nel that is… _special_. Not in like, a good way, more like an after-school special. She victimizes him.”

Tatsuki flopped down on her own bed, behind the side rail where Orihime wouldn’t see her roll her eyes. “Okay… I’m glad you’re happy I guess.”

Orihime was much too wrapped up in the warm, fuzzy feeling that enveloped her mind to notice Tatsuki’s tone. Falling asleep to Ulquiorra crooning Moon River to her over the phone was probably the most romantic thing ever; much more romantic than anything she had ever heard of or seen in a movie. Her head was in the clouds and she had no intention to let it come down anytime soon. She decided to text him. She took out her phone.

Shit. It was too early.

Oh, wait! He had a new video he was posting! She hopped out of bed and onto her computer desk chair, waking up the laptop and waiting to open up YouTube. “He did a new video last night!” Orihime chirped.

A thumbs-up appeared from the bed. “Great. Let’s hear it,” Tatsuki responded with a bored voice.

Orihime ignored her, went to her subscriptions box, and clicked on the thumbnail.

His voice filled the dorm room, “The past few weeks have been crazy. This is for someone special in my life. She’s my person; my Hermione. Thank you Vega Strife. This is Swallowed by Bush.”

“I love this song!” Orihime squealed. She listened in rapt silence and then liked and commented.

Vega.Strife00 wrote:

You’re my person. I love you, Ernie. This song suits your voice so well. <3

Then she got up and stretched and got ready to go for a run. She was no longer a person of much interest, now that Ulquiorra wasn’t on campus, so she was free to slip back into her old anonymous ways. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

***

He was kept busy with engagements and other obligations through the week. Ulquiorra didn’t mind; it kept him from thinking too much about things like Nel and what she did, and how she tried to ruin his life again. He went to the shop Nanao directed him to. He picked out some nice things for Orihime. Thursday came quickly and he was having lunch in the beach house when his mother walked in.

“You’re going to Ohio?” She asked.

“Visit. Dad’s party is on Saturday. I’ll be back Monday morning,” Ulquiorra said. 

“Tch,” Maria scoffed. “Your dad turned you out and is done with you because of Nel.”

The green eyed male nodded. “I know. I’m done with her, so I think it’s time to apologize and tell him my head is out of my ass.”

His mother folded her arms across her chest. “You’re going to see Vega, aren’t you? Make sure you use common sense and your brain when dealing with her. I don’t know why you can’t pick someone like Nel. She has a good look to her.”

What? Why? Ulquiorra glared at his mom. “She almost raped me.”

“That’s not what it looked like.”

“So you’re going to side with Nel on this?”

“I know Nel."

Ulquiorra continued to glare. He couldn’t believe his mom. She was certainly something else. What had his dad seen in his mother? “I have to get ready. You know where the door is.”

“Oh, I do. I came here for a reason. You’re going to be meeting some people soon. I need you at your best. I don’t know if being around Vega would be productive.”

He watched as his mother walked out of the kitchen and then he heard the front door slam. It didn’t matter if his mother was trying to ruin his day or month. He had other things to worry about, like how in a matter of hours he would be on a plane back to Orihime.

***

Orihime had been watching Ulquiorra’s flight status all day. It left on time, and she arrived at the airport almost half an hour early because she was so anxious to see him. As she stood near the baggage carousels, she wondered what it was going to feel like to see him again. It had been over a month. Would he look different? He was still only eighteen; it was possible that he would have grown taller. Maybe he had had his wardrobe updated for him. The thought made her mouth twist to the side. She liked him as he was, thank you very much.

The minutes ticked by into nearly an hour, which was being counted by the tapping of her toes or her heels as her right leg bounced with nervous energy. Apparently there was something off with another plane; Ulquiorra’s would have to wait until a gate was free to disembark. It was giving her too much free time to worry. What if he saw her and changed his mind? What if he wasn’t attracted to her anymore after being around all the image-conscious people in LA? Should she have worn something more fashionable? She had come in jeans and a black sweater under her leather jacket. What was she thinking? She should have put more effort into this reunion. She should have brought a gift! Ugh, who was she kidding? She didn’t have money for that. She could barely scrape together the money for gas to get to the airport and back. Waiting was the worst. It always gave her mind too much opportunity to fret. She could hardly stand it.

Thirty minutes later he was off the plane. He stretched before he grabbed his book bag from the overhead compartment. That’s all he brought with him. There were clothes at his dad’s house. He didn’t need much. He walked slowly through the airport until he turned to where the lobby and baggage carousels were.

Ulquiorra saw Orihime. She looked tired. She looked stressed. This was his fault. Had he not left, everything would have been fine. Had he not taken over her life, she would still be singing and possibly fucking Aizen. Ugh, better not think that, he said to himself. 

Adjusting the bag on his shoulder, the green eyed musician walked toward the woman, a smirk slowly spreading over his face.

She saw him approach, and as soon as she recognized him her face lit up. “Ulquiorra! Finally!” she nearly sang as she sprang out of her seat and bounded toward him. She didn’t exactly crash into him, but the impact was solid as she wrapped her arms around his torso and buried her face in his chest, taking a deep breath. He smelled like an airplane and a bit like himself. It was different though. 

After a moment she looked up at his face. “Welcome home... I mean, back.”

His arms slid around Orihime, and he picked her up, planting his lips on hers. Hearing the words "welcome home" from her was a blessing. It gave him more hope about them and their future. “My Hermione,” he breathed into her ear. “God, I missed you.”

She turned her face slightly to kiss his cheek, which she did seven or eight times before returning the sentiment. “Me too, Ernie.” She didn’t mention the fact that he felt much more angular than he had been before he left. She noted it, though.

“Thanks for meeting me,” he said as he set her down. Have you been waiting long?”

“Umm, yeah… I got a little over-excited. I’ve been here for over an hour,” she said, wrinkling her nose a bit. “Not a cool bone in my body.”

He leaned down and kissed her again, this time taking it slow and letting himself just enjoy how she felt against him. Ulquiorra could kiss Orihime all day and still not be tired of it. It was nice having her in his arms again. 

She didn’t pull away or rush him; she was loving it as much as he was, and needed it just as badly. She raised her arms to reach up his back and rest on his shoulders from behind, pushing their bodies closer together. When he finally pulled back for a second, she placed a kiss on the base of his neck and spoke into the skin there. “Do you want to go get some food first or just get back?”

“Anything as long as I’m with you,” Ulquiorra replied. “I am a bit hungry.”

She put another kiss there and nodded. “What do you think? Greasy spoon? Pancakes? Coffee shop stuff?” she suggested, rattling off the places she had noticed nearby on her way to the airport.

He smiled. Ulquiorra could not describe how at peace or happy he felt. Laying his cheek on the top of her head he thought about her suggestions. He didn’t think his stomach could handle anything that was considered fast food. “Uh, lady's choice.”

She raised her brows and pressed her cheek to his chest as she thought for a minute. Her criteria were almost entirely value-based. She didn’t have a lot of cash to throw around. Breakfast things were cheap. “Alright, follow me,” she said, stepping back.

“It’s my treat so…” he said as he followed her. “You’re looking good.”

She gave his hand a squeeze as she led the way to the escalator that would bring them to the arrivals parking lot. “I was worried that I should have worn something nicer. You are a sight for sore eyes, too. Your piercings look less painful now. I don’t know how I feel about them yet, though,” she said, blushing and smiling like she had admitted a secret.

Ulquiorra ran his hands over the edge of his exposed ear. It was a habit that he tucked the strands behind it. “You look like my Vega,” he said. “You’re… beautiful and gorgeous and…” he didn’t know how to tell her how refreshing it was not to see someone that had never seen a plastic surgeon or wore a ton of makeup. This was his Orihime; she didn’t require high maintenance. She didn’t need her hair or nails done. The only thing she had was a… “Oh, I brought you something.”

She stopped as they stepped onto the escalator and turned to face him. As close as he stood she was forced to tilt her chin high to see his face. “Oh yeah? What is it, you flatterer?”

A small smile played on his mouth. “Later, when we are alone.”

“Okay.” Orihime turned her face to look as the top of the escalator approached and she stepped off, taking his hand again. “So are you driving much, or do they have drivers and things for you?” she asked, fishing her keys out of her purse as she scanned the parking lot for her car.

Ulquiorra shrugged. “Sometimes I drive around and sometimes Nanao drives me. It depends on what is going on that day. I mostly drive around Laguna Beach by myself.”

“Do you like it there? Is it convenient? The weather is good, I suppose,” she said, leading the way toward where she thought she parked. She wasn’t exactly sure. 

Should he tell her? “I hate it. I hate California. It’s supposed to be cold and wet. It’s sunny and I can swim in the pool since it’s heated,” Ulquiorra admitted. “It’s lonely down there. At least my Mom’s house in Malibu was smaller and I had her bitching at me about things. I was too depressing for her.”

“You are a delight. What does she know?” Orihime tsked. She knew a thing or two about unnurturing maternal figures. “Anyway, I can take or leave the cold. I want to swim with you.”

“And so you shall, Miss Inoue. I plan on swimming with you anytime I can, with and without clothes,” he said, teasing her. “And… I wasn’t a delight for a couple of weeks. I was downright miserable.”

“Heh, you and me both. Tatsuki was ready to move, I think,” she looked at him with an apologetic gaze, then a mass of gray caught her eye. “Ah! There’s the car.” 

Ulquiorra nodded. He probably figured that would happen. Those had been some dark days. “Ah the old free candy van,” he joked.

“You love it, let’s go eat,” she said, unlocking the door and opening up the sliding back door for him to deposit his bag.

Putting the bag on the backseat, Ulquiorra then climbed into the passenger seat. He actually missed this car. He missed the owner of said car. “We could skip eating,” Ulquiorra said. His green eyes sought out her dark ones. He didn’t feel overeager about being with her,but he could feel that desire start to awaken again.  
  


She slid her eyes over to his and looked him up and down, a hungry smile playing on her lips. “You may be able to skip eating, but I can’t. I’ll turn into a monster without some carbs. Besides, I think I’m going to need them.” She started the car and looked ahead, still smiling knowingly. She didn’t let the idea that he was in desperate need of some calories slip into her presentation at all. Hopefully it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first glance.

His eyebrows rose at her words. Did she know? Could she tell? “I don’t skip, I just delay it,” he said. “Why do you think you’re going to need them?”

She nearly choked on the laugh that came out. “Um, Ulquiorra… You’re here. With me. You’re staying with me tonight. I don’t plan on getting that much sleep.”

“You’re staying with me until I leave. I don’t care what you have going on,” he said, staring at her.

“Then we’re agreed,” she said in a sweet voice. “Alright. It’s still early. We’ll get something quick and then get back on the road. There’s a Starbucks over there. We can get a banana and some oatmeal and coffee and be on our way. Is this agreeable, fine sir?”

Ulquiorra nodded. He didn’t say much until they arrived at Albertson. “God, it feels weird being here,” he said looking at the building.

“It hasn’t really been _that_ long. What, a day short of a month? I guess that’s awhile.” 

“It’s not because of that. The last time I was here… I’ve never really cried in front of anyone,” he said.

She reached over and grabbed his hand before they got out of the car. “Thank you for doing it for me. It meant a lot. More than you know.”

He didn’t do it for her. He did it because that was how much he was hurting. He couldn’t mask it, nor could he push it away. As he walked up to the building with Orihime, he heard the few people in the lobby of the building talk.

_“Oooh, he’s back?”_

_“He’s hotter than he was!”_

_“She’s so damn lucky.”_

Once they were in the stairwell, he smiled. It was more like Ulquiorra was lucky to have Orihime.

She opened the door to the second floor. “Still remember which door? Remember the combination?” she teased. She didn’t expect him to.

“Fifth door on the left and no, I figured you changed it when… what happened, happened.”

She chuckled through her nose. “Nope. Still 9-3-2-1. Super secure.” She trotted ahead and opened the door. “I am not going to see you for your birthday, so I want to give you your present right away,” she said as she held the door open for him to enter. Tatsuki had made herself scarce for the entire weekend.

Ulquiorra looked around the room before he walked in. He wanted to make sure that there were no surprises waiting for him, like someone waiting to kick his ass. His eyes immediately fell onto the plants that were on the top shelf of the bookshelf attached to her desk. They looked good. Orihime seemed to be taking care of them. “You have a green thumb,” he said.

“Well, you know, I sing to them a lot. Vega likes easy listening. Strife likes _Baby Got Back_.”

He laughed as he sat his bag on her bed. “Lord knows they didn’t thrive that much when I sang,” Ulquiorra replied. He turned around and looked at Orihime with a smile.

Orihime reached a spot on her desk next to her laptop and pulled out a cellophane bag wrapped with gold and black ribbon. The bag had white tissue paper inside that concealed to contents. “This really, really, isn’t much, but happy birthday, Ernie,” Orihime said, holding the bag out to him and blushing furiously. 

He looked at her and then took the bag. Didn’t Orihime understand that he was happy with just being here with her? She was his birthday present. He opened the bag and smiled at the contents. There was a card which he pulled out first as he sat down on the bed. It was a Harry Potter card with chibi characters on the front and the words "Happy Birthday" written in gold ink. He looked at the two characters on front. “Harry Potter was never in Hufflepuff, Veggs,” he said, looking up at her.

“Harry Potter wore glasses. That’s you, doofus.” She chuckled. She had expected him to make that mistake. 

“So I take this other character isn’t Ginny Weasley?” He laughed.

“Nope,” she said with a grin.

It was her. He knew that as soon as she pointed out the Hufflepuff was him. Ulquiorra opened the card. She had handwritten a note inside. He decided to read it outloud. “Happy birthday, to my favorite person. I love you. Hermione. Awww, you spoil me.”

“No, I don’t. Seriously. You’re going to laugh when you see what is in that bag.”

He reached into the bag and felt around, and his hand came into contact with something that felt like leather. His brow knitted together as he pulled out a black and yellow leather bracelet with a Hufflepuff charm on it. “Oh, oh! This is awesome. Cheesy, but it’s perfect. Especially because I love you and you are cheesy.”

Orihime giggled and grinned. “I love you too. I’m glad you like it. I’m sorry that I don’t have anything better but, you know, Mr. Sado isn’t especially generous,” she laughed and sighed happily. “Want me to join you?”

“Honestly, it’s fine Orihime. The fact that you’re willing to see me is enough,” he said as he held his hand out to her. “Yes, come here.”

She took his hand and came to sit down next to him. “I would see you anytime you wanted. Even if I was mad at you. Even if you had some kind of infectious disease. I might wear a hazmat, suit but I’d still see you,” she laughed again. “Thank you for coming back.”

He turned his body to face her. Ulquiorra leaned over and kissed her. “I promised you I would come back. You didn’t say that you were done with me, so I had to return. Would you like your gift now?”

She looked at him with a dreamy expression and nodded. “Sure. May as well do presents all in one go.”

Ulquiorra reached around her to grab his bag. He opened it to three medium sized flat boxes. He handed Orihime the first one. 

She grinned as she took it. It wasn’t wrapped but the box was a shiny silver color tied with a hot pink fabric bow. “Fancy,” she commented, untying the ribbon on the first box. Inside were three pair of panties, one white, one black, and one a soft, dusty purple, with wide lace panels on the buttcheeks. They were really cute. “These are gorgeous!” she nearly whispered as she pulled each one out of the box and felt the fabric, then brought them up to her cheeks and rubbed the silky part of the garments on her face. “Oh my god, feel these!” she said, holding the black pair to Ulquiorra.

A blush fell onto his cheeks. “I already did,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said, bringing her knees up onto the bed so she could raise up and kiss him softly. “These are perfect.”

“There’s more.” He handed her another box.

“You are the spoiler,” she murmured as she took it, then smiled at him and removed the ribbon. “Oh. Oh my. This is a naughty little bad habit,” she said and giggled, taking out the black mesh and lace bra and panty set. It was more than a bra, really. It was a halter-top style bralette. “This is beautiful,” she said, holding each piece up and looking at the delicate fabric in the light. “Wow. This is really, really nice.”

He smiled. “I’m not spoiling you. One is for your birthday. One is I’m sorry I’m an ass. One is for Christmas.” Ulquiorra held the last box out to Orihime.

She didn’t react to the idea that he thought they’d be separated for Christmas. She didn’t want to ruin the moment. She opened the last box and saw another black lace teddy. He seemed to have a thing for these. This one was much more expensive-looking than the last. The lace work was exquisite, with raw silk edging creating a short fringe around the seams. “Holy… you have outdone yourself, Ulquiorra. These are really too much. Thank you,” she said, leaning over for a hug and a kiss. “I don’t suppose you want a fashion show…”

His blush got deeper. “No, I’m making up for past birthdays and Christmases too, so I don’t think it’s too much. I know it seems like a lot but… You deserve it, Orihime. And yes, I want a small fashion show.”

She shook her head slightly, smiling and thinking about how sweet he was. “Alright. I’ll get cleaned up and you can pick the order. I’ll be right back.”

“You’re fine. You don’t need to get cleaned up. Get naked and put them on.”

“Anxious much?” she asked in a whisper, blushing. It had been awhile since they had really been together. She cleared her throat. “Alright, Hotshot. Which one first?”

Ulquiorra shook his head. “If I was anxious, I would have had you in the back of your car in the parking lot of the airport. No, I’ve learned a lot of restraint in the past couple of weeks, but...” He took a glance at the pile of fabric he had bought. “Try a pair of the undies on?” 

“Okay,” she said, swiping the purple pair off the bed and turning around so her back was to him. She peeled off her sweater and unhooked her bra, letting these things fall on the floor before taking her socks off by stepping on the toe of each sock and pulling her foot out. Then then jeans she wore were unfastened and pushed down her hips, showing the stretch marks he was so fond of. She bent over as she pushed them and the pale pink underwear she had on down her legs and then bent over to pick up the entire pile and put it in the basket in front of her. She stepped into the new panties and sighed. “Oh yes. No, you have never lived until you put something like this on,” she seemed to sigh, twisting her hips slightly from side to side to look without turning to face Ulquiorra still, then she smoothed her palms over her ass to feel how the fabric felt stretched over her body. “You should feel this,” she murmured, turning to face him finally.

He decided to tease her. “What makes you think I haven’t?”

  
  
She shrugged. “Okay, if you’re already satisfied I guess I can try the next thing,” she teased in return, grabbing for the black lace bralette and panty set on the bed, not attempting to provide any modesty to her otherwise bare body.

As soon as he could, Ulquiorra grabbed her waist and pulled her into his lap. His hands were caressing her ass, fingers running over the soft material that covered her skin and then the lace that gave them a more feminine appeal. “I’ll never get my fill of you,” he said as he let himself give into his more primal instincts.

She threw her hair back and joined him in that mindset, moaning softly as his hands kneaded at the flesh under the fabric of the panties. “Same,” she whispered into his ear and then kissed his earlobe, his jaw, his temple and then making her way back go his mouth, speaking into it, “I want you.”

As soon as he felt her lips on his neck, Ulquiorra’s brain switched into the mindset he had before he left. He wanted Orihime. He wanted to be inside of her. He wanted to touch her. He needed to feel her. His mouth met hers; tongues entangling before he retreated slightly, gently taking her bottom lip between his teeth. “Hnngh,” came the moan from his throat.

A soft, feminine moan was his answer as she tugged on his shirt. “Can you?” she asked, breaking their kiss momentarily.

“Huh?” he asked pulling back. Oh, she wanted his shirt off. It was with reluctance that he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off his head, throwing it onto the floor. “Better?”

“So much,” she purred, meeting his mouth with hers again and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pressing her body into his. The sensation of his skin against hers made her shiver. Her fingers curled around cords on the back of his neck and the nails worked up into the hair at the base of his skull as she deepened the kiss and let him direct her hips to drag slowly over his crotch. “Mmm,” she breathed through her nose at the contact.

A gasp left him when she did that. He was clearly not as restrained as he thought. He wasn’t prepared for the sensations going through his body. This was going to be mind blowing, provided he didn’t come early. “Orihime,” he breathed.

She was feeling the heat between them grow. She had to break their kiss as she found her shallow breathing insufficient and her head feeling dizzy. She put her lips on his other ear, taking deeper breaths, tracing the shell with her lips and letting them slide softly over the piercings there before whispering, “Yes, love?”

“I know we have all night but...” he hissed as she moved against him again. “It feels good.”

“It’s still early. We can do it again later,” she said, repeating the words she had told him after their first time together nearly three months ago, before pulling back slightly to look into his eyes, taking one of his hands and placing it over her breast.

“And again and again,” he whispered to her as he squeezed the flesh beneath his hand. His fingers moved over her tit until he felt her nipple which he pinched. It wasn’t hard, but enough to give her some attention.

She gasped at that. “Again and again until we can’t move,” she agreed, getting up on her knees a bit to free up some space for him to get his hands in to undo his jeans. “Do you want to?”

Did she really have to ask? Ulquiorra moved her and stood. He emptied his pockets onto her desk and then quickly undid the button and zipper, shoving his clothing to the floor before awkwardly getting his shoes off. He stood naked in front of Orihime.

She knelt on the bed and held her hands out to him. After he took them, she got up on her knees and kissed his overly defined belly, his navel, and up to the center of his chest, before bringing her hands around his visible ribs and up his back. She was still very much attracted to him; despite his weight loss, and her desire wasn’t diminished, but her heart pulled a bit at his condition. He must have been more unhappy than he let on. 

She would make him feel better. 

She pulled him toward her so his cock was nestled between her tits and she ran her hands back down his back and up his front, letting the pads of her thumbs drag across his nipples, then sliding up his body as far as she could, hooking a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him down to kiss her again. She kept pulling until she was on her back.

It was rare that Ulquiorra felt self-conscious but this was one of those occasions. He didn’t realize how much his ribs showed or the fact that he could see his hip bones now. It was something he didn’t think about. But then she grabbed him, pulling him down. He would follow her anywhere if she just kept her hands on him. “I missed this,” he said.

“Me too,” she breathed into his face, bending her knees and spreading them open, letting Ulquiorra settle his body between them and feel the silken fabric of his gift. “I really missed this,” she said, punctuated with a gasp as his cock came into contact with the panties. The quality of the fabric only heightened the sensation.

He hummed in appreciation at the touch. “These are nice, but you should take them off unless you want me to rip them,” Ulquiorra said as he propped himself up with one hand and moved the other between their bodies. He grabbed his cock near the head and slid it along the underwear. He made sure he put more pressure around her clit and her entrance. “It’d be a shame to ruin them before you take pictures for me.

“Right,” she agreed, lifting her hips off the mattress and pushing the underwear down. She brought her knees together between their bodies so she could continue taking them off. Once she got the garment down past her knees, she smiled. “A little assistance, please?”

“Gladly,” he stated before pulling them the rest of the way off her body. Ulquiorra resumed his place between her legs, but he wasn’t trying to enter her. He was enjoying Orihime. He liked how she smelled with a delicate floral scent. He liked how she felt against him. His head came down and his tongue came out to flick against her lips.

Oh yes, he even liked how she tasted.

She grabbed the back of his shoulders and pressed him into her body, her legs hooking around his waist to complete a whole-body embrace. She opened her mouth and brought her tongue out to meet his, taking turns between whose mouth they were in. She could kiss him like this all day. She loved the sounds his throat made when they were this close and the way his tongue felt against hers; alternating between tender and urgent. She loved the smell of his breath in her nostrils. The heated, organic scent made her feel more alive than her breath did on its own. When they were together, they were better than they were apart. Their combined energy was magic and electric. How had she survived the month since they had last been together like this?

The memory of the pain of their separation made her whimper and bring her hands to his face. Her palms cupped his gaunt cheeks and her fingers played along the ridges of his cheekbones. She broke their kiss and kissed the tip of his nose, then let his forehead rest against hers while she caught her breath for a moment. “I love you so much, Ulquiorra. I missed you,” she said, and then was silent, trying to calm herself and only letting her breath hitch once.

This wasn’t supposed to be stressful, but Orihime seemed to be getting upset. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, using a hand to brush her hair away from her face.

She smiled and pecked his lips again. “No, nothing’s wrong. You’re here.” Yeah, she was emotional. This was not a problem. This was a good thing. It proved to her that her feelings were definitely real. It wasn’t just nostalgia or a desire to prove that he still wanted her or to possess him. She _loved_ him. “I’m just so happy you’re here.”

Ulquiorra nodded. He wouldn’t press the issue, but he understood. He had gone through this at the airport. It would probably hit him harder when he went back to California. “I’m happy I’m here,” he replied. “We didn’t talk about it but… did you want to?”

“Yes, I do. Do you?”

“Yes.” He looked down at her with an affectionate expression. “I’ve been wanting to do this since we talked. Since you helped me the first time,” Ulquiorra said. He could feel himself blushing.

She could feel her chest swelling with warmth for him. “I never stopped wanting to do it with you. Come back to me,” she murmured, trailing her left hand from his face down his neck, shoulder, then side and to his hip until she held the base of his cock lightly, aiming it in the correct direction and angle. “Come back.”

His brain shut down. He glanced between their bodies where he could see her hand and then back at her face. He didn’t need to be told again. Slowly, Ulquiorra pushed into Orihime, his breath hitching for a moment before he took a deep one, feeling the head of his dick part her folds and sink into that warmth. He had to bite his lip and stay still for a moment. Memory had nothing on the real thing. Memory didn’t do justice to this. This would affect him just like the first time had.

She whispered his name and squinted her eyes shut as he entered her, her feet behind his back giving gentle encouragement. Her breath hissed slightly as he stretched her; her fingers were no comparison.

“Ah,” he moaned. Ulquiorra knew she could take him. She had done it so many times in the past. Their month apart though… “You feel tighter.”

“It feels that way to me, too,” she said, wincing slightly. “That, or you got bigger.”

Ulquiorra chuckled and shook his head. It was impossible to accurately describe the bliss he was feeling as he seated himself fully inside of Orihime’s body. The way her body seemingly squeezed and massaged his cock was enough to make him lose mind. He had time, though, as he pressed his chest and torso against Orihime and kissed her. Using his thumb, he stroked her jaw as he began to move.

This was what she had been missing. She opened her eyes and watched his face as she felt him begin his slow thrusts. She was filled with an awestruck emotion. This was her person. She was his person. They were together and it was as if nothing else in the universe existed. She watched his expressions with one of adoration on her face.

It was all a matter of not losing himself in the feel of her body, at least not yet. Ulquiorra opened his eyes slightly and stared down at her, catching her gaze. “I’m getting used to it again,” he murmured.

“I’ll never get used to it. I don’t want to get used to it,” she smiled a bit. “Well, in a sense, anyway,” she said, reaching her face up to catch his lips.

It was the same for him. He wanted to experience this everyday all the time but on the other hand, Ulquiorra wanted it to feel like their first time. He broke the kiss, opening his eyes wide. “I love you,” he said, thrusting into her with some force.

He was rewarded with a feminine grunt. “I love you. I love how you look at me and how you --” another grunt, “feel inside of me,” she spoke between the thrusts that took her breath away.

Eyes fluttered shut as he slowly thrusted into her, feeling how his cock dragged over a sensitive place. “Ooh,” he moaned. “I love how you feel around me. I missed you. I missed this. I missed waking up next to you.”

She moaned softly as he angled himself just right, so that his body slid against her clit with each pass. She lost the use of language, only able to nod her response as her lips parted and she breathed through her mouth, her eyes unable to open fully. It felt so perfect. Her breathing was accompanied by soft whines, and her hips raised to meet him with each thrust.

Was it safe now to lose himself in her? That’s what Ulquiorra wanted to do. He just wanted to fill her over and over. He wanted to live here with her on this bed. A light sweat appeared on his forehead as he started to thrust faster inside of her. He was tired of playing this game and drawing it out. He wanted completion. “Soon, Vega.”

Her breathing became more intense. The whines began to rise in pitch. She began to use her feet to push him deeper inside of her, trying to keep him there for a split second longer than he wanted to stay. She was getting close. Her fingertips curled into what little flesh was left on the tops of his shoulders as they kept this struggle of wills going, the tension maintained and pushing her closer still. Her breathing was rough in her own ears.

Her hips moving against his made Ulquiorra tense the muscles in his body. If she kept that up it was going to be over real fast. He tried to sit up, feeling the edge of her nails bite into his shoulders. Did she want him to come? His pace quickened again, hearing the slap of bodies coming together. He had to bite his lip and close his eyes to try and stop the pleasure that threatened to overwhelm him.

He was doing it just right. The faster pace got results and she started to clench around him. “Oh my god, Ulquiorra, I’m gonna--” her words were cut off in her throat as her orgasm silenced her, stopping her breath and opening her eyes wide. Her walls rumbled over him in powerful thrums, and just before she would black out she gasped. “I’m coming!”

He felt it. He could feel his body pulse along with hers. His eyes rolled back into his head and Ulquiorra had buried his face into her neck. A scream felt like it was bubbling as his body was drained. After the most violent emotions stopped, Ulquiorra breathed harshly against her neck, his body feeling boneless.

She was still pulsing around him, slowly and less intense as before; just an unpredictable throb here and there. It felt like her body was trying to suck all it could from him. Her mind felt similarly. She wanted all of him, as much as she could gather. In her arms, in her bed, in her heart, in her mind, in her daily life, in her creative life. She would never tire of him. 

Her fingers slowly raked through his hair, the pads of the digits trailing paths through the thick black locks like water. Her legs remained wrapped around his body. She didn’t want him to get up. When her pants had died down to labored breath, she spoke to him.

“Ulquiorra, I know we have some things to work through, but I love you with my whole heart.” She paused to catch her breath again. “I don’t want to go through a whole month without being beside you again.”

“If I have to go through another month without you, I think that resulting orgasm might kill me. Holy shit,” he huffed. He pushed himself up and off of her, before laying beside Orihime. “As soon as your classes are over and you’ve got stuff squared away here, you’re coming out to me.”

“My last final is three weeks from today,” she said, rolling onto her side and resting her cheek on his chest, a hand slowing smoothing the skin up and down over his torso. “I think you could use me there, anyway.”

He smiled as he lifted his head up and pressed a kiss into her hair. “Yeah? Why do you say that?”

“Well, besides being your emotional support Vega,” she paused to chuckle, “I think having someone to eat with would keep you from forgetting. You’ve lost quite a bit of weight. You still look hot, but it makes me a little sad. I feel like you must be very lonely.”

Ulquiorra sighed. That was the second time she had mentioned it. His father must have told her his dark secret. His dad must have opened his mouth about the past. “You know, then. He must have told you. I’ve been--I forgot to eat.”

“Who told me what?” she asked, somewhat lazily. She honestly didn’t have his father’s words in mind at the moment; she was still too blissed out. All she had in mind was that his ribs were sticking out and he felt bony. She drew a heart on the skin over his sternum.

“Never mind, Veggs. It’s not important. I just have been getting wrapped up in stuff.”

His tone was what jogged her memory. “Oh. That. I remember now. Yes, he did tell me something. I wasn’t in the best place, mentally, to really take it in at that time. Regardless, I think having someone around to keep you company would force a little more routine into your life. Make it not something to forget, just another normal thing to do.” Orihime really had no idea of the extent to which his eating problems went. All she knew was that his father worried about it, that Nel and Steve had something to do with it, and that he had mentioned before via text that he had been forgetting to eat. She wasn’t the type of person to get hysterical and overreact about this kind of thing. She would take it in stride until the problem was severe.

“I’ve been eating more since I started talking to you again,” he said. “I’ve been trying to be better about it. It would be nice though, to order pizza or Chinese and eat it with you while watching television.” Ulquiorra tilted her face up and kissed her. “I won’t forget anymore.”

“Good,” she said and then returned his kiss. “Even if you do, I’ll be there soon to remind you. Oh, also, good news. The cheese and all other forms of dairy embargo has been officially lifted since I no longer am Aizen’s student! Hooray! Bring on all the mozzarella!”

“Are you telling me you want a stuffed crust extra cheese pizza?”

She laughed. “Maybe we can ease into it, hmm? Besides, even with the exercise you’re giving me, I don’t want to have to spend three hours a day on the treadmill. Remember? Fatty McFat-Fat in middle school?” she asked, blowing out her cheeks.

“Nope, all I see is Beautiful McGorgeous-Perfect laying beside me,” Ulquiorra said. “Shut up, you look fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

They had left for that backwater, hole in the wall town the next morning with Ulquiorra behind the wheel again. This time he took the back way out of the city before he found his way back to the interstate. This trip wasn’t as nearly as stressful, but Ulquiorra still felt tension in his body, even after they had sex five times.

His plan was just to show up at his dad’s house and surprise him. Now as he got closer to the town, he didn’t think that would be a good idea. 

Orihime had noticed him become more and more quiet and withdrawn as the drive went on. Carefully adjusting her position in the seat to let the soreness in her hips settle on the other side of her body for awhile, she was able to look at him. There was tension in his brow and his jaw was set slightly on edge. “What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“Maybe I should call him? Tell him we’re going to be there? Have you talked to either of them?” he asked.

“Your dad called on Sunday to confirm that I was still coming. I didn’t say anything about you because I didn’t want to spoil it for you. Do you want me to get him on the phone for you?”

“No,” came the reply. He didn’t want to alert his dad to his arrival. His mom probably called him anyway, bitching about their kid. “I guess he’ll just have to deal with it.” 

She laughed. “You say it like he’s not going to be happy to see you. You silly person.”

His gaze slid over to her and then back at the road. He never thought his dad was serious about the whole “Nel Punishment Program”, as he liked to call it. Jon had laid out the rules and Ulquiorra had gone against them. “I don’t know,” he said.

“He might not love what you’ve done but he still loves you. Just because he’s being a hardass doesn’t change that.”

With a shake of his head, Ulquiorra tried to ease some of the worry settling in his stomach. Orihime hadn’t been in that room that night. She didn’t hear the finality in his dad’s voice on the matter. Maybe he had to have hope about it. “You’re right,” he replied. 

“I mean, don’t expect him to roll out the red carpet or anything, but try to think about it from his perspective. You’re his baby. He wants you to do what is best for you and he thinks that this is they way to encourage that. I don’t know if he is right or not but when I had friends,sometimes they would tell me about the weird things their parents would do and I would just be like, what the hell? I don’t know. Claire never loved me so she really didn’t care. When I defied her she just screamed until she got tired of screaming and then pretended everything was fine. Until now, anyway. Now she’s just withholding my money until she no longer has a choice.” She didn’t seem too put out by these facts. 

Tch. Claire. What a bitch. Ulquiorra was silent until he pulled onto the exit he needed. “You’re aunt is a fucking idiot and if I was more destructive I’d punch her in the throat.”

“My knight in violent, shining armor,” she said and chuckled. “Unfortunately there’s nothing I can gain by suing her. She is trustee to my account. I can’t get the funds on my own until I’m twenty-two. The way my parents had the trust written up, she has complete discretion on how they are to be dispensed. She thinks, or says, I’m not mature enough to have access to them, so she can block access. Three more years…”

“Can’t you prove she’s using the funds for her own gains or something?” Ulquiorra sighed. He didn’t like her aunt and had to refrain from calling her a cunt. “Your aunt pisses me off. Had you not--Nevermind I’m not getting into this. I can’t. I’ll get pissed off and take it out on Steve.”

“Okay. I understand. Sometimes the rage is stronger when it’s someone you love who is facing injustice, but  _ anyway _ , what do you want to play at the party? I don’t think all the Vega IV songs would be appropriate.”

“I’m sure Steve will have some songs he wants played but I’m sure we can hash out some jazz tunes and some easy listening stuff,” Ulquiorra stated as he continued to drive. Less than ten minutes later he was pulling into the driveway of his father’s house. Immediately the door opened and Steve came stomping out. 

“Oh no! No! The driveway is for--Oh dear.”

Ulquiorra opened the door and stepped out which made Steve stop talking. “Hey Steve.”

“Oh. My. God. Oh my god!” Steve flapped his hand then covered his mouth. He turned around and started walking back to the house. “Jon! Jon! Jonathan! You have a delivery!”

The musician looked over at his girlfriend and then shook his head. “I’m a delivery now?”

“I’m a delivery person, now, apparently,” she said, giggling. “Shall I carry you to the door? I can probably manage if you go piggyback.”

Ulquiorra laughed. “Really? Jeez, you’re a dork,” he said as he came around the car and pulled Orihime close to him. “A very sexy and loving dork.”

“It is what it is,” she said, getting up on her tiptoes and kissing him briefly. “I told you.”

He would have replied but his father came out of the house. “Orihime! You got here! Who is--Oh.”

Ulquiorra turned around to face his father. He saw the disappointment in Jon’s eyes. He saw how the almost copy of his mouth turned down into a severe frown. His dad knew. “Hey Dad,” he said.

“Well, uh, Jon, do you think I should go talk to Steve about tonight? Where could I find him?” she asked, squeezing Ulquiorra’s hand. She was about half sure he wouldn’t want her to leave him with his father right now, but she didn’t think it would be right to block them from having a conversation if that’s what Jon wanted.

“I’ve no clue. He’s probably somewhere inside running around like a chicken with its head cut off and fretting about the flowers that aren’t here yet. Actually, let’s all just head into the kitchen because, I still have stuff that needs to be done,” Jon said. He turned on his heel and walked back into the house.

Ulquiorra knew this was going to be bad. He sighed. They should have called Steve to warn them. “Shall we?”

“Sure,” Orihime said, uneasiness in her voice. She followed Ulquiorra into the house and back to the kitchen. 

As soon as Jon saw them, he started asking questions. “How long this time? Why? What happened? Look at you Ulquiorra. As soon--”

“I know. Stop, please. I’ll explain, just stop with the lecture.”

Jon’s mouth closed and he picked up the knife he was using to slice vegetables. “Okay, fine. I’ll listen. How long?”

“About a month.”

There was a heavy sigh from both older men. “You went a month without eating?” Steve asked.

Orihime’s brow wrinkled as she looked from his father to Ulquiorra. “You ate sometimes, right? You just forgot sometimes?” It was a question. She was looking for clarification.

“I--”

“Celery, salad without dressing or meat, a lot of pushing food around plates,” Jon said quietly. “When’s the last time you ate? Do I need to call your therapist or your doctor?”

Ulquiorra shook his head. “I’ve been eating consistently since a week ago. I know what happened and I don’t plan on letting it happen again,” he said. A sigh left him. He knew this was going to be bad, but he had expected his father’s interrogation to be done in private not… like this. “Why? Well, depression happens. I was really torn up about everything. What Nel did had an affect on me and it’s California. No one notices if you don’t eat. I live alone and the only person who contacts me regularly is my assistant.”

“Why doesn’t she say anything?” Orihime asked. She was angry at this assistant. “You told me she is a bossy hardass.”

He shrugged. “Because--”

“He makes it appear like he’s eating or he’s eaten. Don’t lie to us or yourself, Ulq,” Steve said. “We care about you even though you don’t like us. He drinks a lot of water.”

Orihime’s mouth pressed into a line. She didn’t think the way this was being handled was especially effective. But what did she know, really? She hadn’t been there a couple years before. What she did know what that he  _ was  _ eating now. “Well, Jon, I watched him eat breakfast and lunch today, so I know he’s capable. Banana and oatmeal for breakfast and a cup of soup and a tuna sandwich for lunch.” She turned her attention to Ulquiorra next. “Please take care of yourself. I need you to.”

Ulquiorra nodded and then ran his hands through his hair. “Orihime’s going to be coming to California. So she can help keep me on track. I’m also going to talk to Nanao about finding me a therapist.”

Jon nodded. “And you young lady… I thought we talked. Are you two back together? What’s going on?”

“Um, yeah… Things are looking up. There are schools in California. As soon as I have my money I can go back. I’m thinking of it as a three-year gap. In the meantime, maybe I can perform. There is a lot more opportunity there.” She wasn’t sure what Jon was getting at.

“Do either of you have a plan B if this happens again?”

Ulquiorra shook his head. “I don’t plan on it happening again. Nel’s been out of my life for a month. No messages, no texts. I haven’t seen her. The time that Orihime mentioned her, I asked her politely not to do it because of reasons.”

Orihime frowned again. Something about this was not right. She didn’t know what it was, though. “Jon, are you talking about Ulquiorra eating or what happened between us?”

“Both.” He stopped chopping the pepper he was working and laid the knife down. Jon looked at Orihime and then at Ulquiorra. “Ulq, if you two get into a fight again and you break up, are you going to stop eating? Orihime, if you move out to Cali and something goes wrong between you two, what is going to happen? I’m asking you two to think about this logically.”

“A friend of my dad’s lives out there. He and his partner send me birthday cards every year and ask me to visit. I could ask him for help but honestly as far as my situation goes, I’m unstable anywhere,” again she turned her attention, this time to her boyfriend. “You were going to talk to someone, right?”

He nodded. “As soon as I get back, I will,” Ulquiorra said looking at Orihime.

“Now that that matter is settled. Steve, take Orihime into the music room and discuss what kind of music you want tonight. Ulquiorra, you can stay in here and help.”

Orihime didn’t believe for one second that this matter was settled. She didn’t think things were settled at all. Regardless, she thought she had reached her limit for bullshitting Jon. She didn’t like pretending like everything was fine. She didn’t like feeling like she had to do it, but something about how Ulquiorra was acting made her feel like she needed to act as a go-between. She had a bit of a “camp-counselor” aspect to her personality, and this was one of those times that that aspect surfaced. She sighed. “Alright, I’ll let you know what we come up with,” she said with a small, conciliatory smile to Ulquiorra before following Steve out of the room.

As soon as they were out of sight, Jon turned to his son. “I suggest you go into the pantry and get one of those meal replacement shakes.”

“They taste awful.”

“Your death would be awful,” Jon snapped. His mouth formed a thin line. “Why did you stop eating?”

“The thing with Nel. You can see in the video where I passed out and she kept going… Orihime left me. You took my stuff.”

“From what it sounds like, you abandoned her first,” Jon replied. “I don’t pretend to know what your relationship is like, Ulq, but you’ve been hurting Orihime every time you talk to Nel or you see the bitch.”

Ulquiorra nodded. He knew that was the case. It was fine when things were online, but now that Orihime had seen their interaction, he knew he had no choice but to stay away from Nel. Not that he wanted to be around her, she had struck out with him. “I know, I understand.”

His father sighed and started cutting up something else. “Um, another thing… Nel’s missing. At least that’s what her mother has told me. Who knows with Batshit Crazy Brenda. She’s not been to school or going to classes for a while.”

“Uh, wrong. Orihime talked to Nel like a week or two ago. Nel was trying to egg her on and probably wanted to start a fight. Brenda needs to check her facts,” Ulquiorra said. “Nel’s probably doing this for attention. You know how she is, dad. I’m not paying attention to her so she has to find her attention somewhere else. Why are you telling me this?”

“Well in the past week, Nel hasn’t been answering her phone. Her mom is worried that Nel might be on a bender. It’s not my monkey, not my circus. just want you to be aware of the situation. Go drink the shake.” Jon sighed and looked at his son.

Oh, his dad was warning him just in case Nel tried to do any of her crazy bullshit. “Got it, but it’s none of my concern Dad. I’m not friends with Nel,” he said as he walked into the pantry to retrieve the cardboard carton. He walked back into the kitchen and opened it, staring his dad down as he chugged the contents. Once he was done, he shuddered. “Still nasty.”

“Eat and you won’t have to drink them.”

***

“Okay, Steve, I know you don’t care for me, but if you want me to sing anything you’re going to have to cooperate,” Orihime sighed. They had been going back and forth for almost ten minutes with Steve more or less giving her a pop culture quiz. He wasn’t pleased that Orihime was getting more than seventy-five percent of his stupid questions right, nor did he appreciate how she kept trying to steer the conversation toward something productive. She could see the displeasure on his face. “Okay, fine. You want me to go back to Columbus?”

“No,” Steve replied. “I didn’t expect you to be this good and know your stuff. I thought you were just some thoughtless bimbo wanting to ride the coattails of fame with Ulquiorra.”

Orihime didn’t even try to hide her eyeroll. “You know there was a time when I was much more famous than he was. But that’s neither here nor there. What do you want me to sing?”

Steve scoffed. “You seem to forget that Ulq told us everything there was to know about you… Or at least what you told him. What do you want to sing? Keep in mind these are older people and Jon’s mother.”

“Wait wait wait, hold up a second. He told you guys about me?” This wasn’t the very first she had heard about this, but she had been under the impression that maybe Jon and Steve had heard of Vega and that maybe Ulquiorra had told them she was nice or something. Everything there was to know seemed like a lot more than that.

“Indeed. He would get excited when Vega commented. I rolled my eyes. His dad would smile. I overheard him tell his dad he didn’t care if Vega was a guy or a girl, he had feelings for them,” Steve answered. He waved a hand as if dismissing the matter. “What do  _ you _ want to sing?”

Orihime’s mouth opened and closed a few times, letting the information sink in. Then she blinked quickly a few times and returned her mind to Steve. “Um, I thought I could reprise some of the lounge songs you heard me do from the networking event I met you at. We can do some standard coffee shop fare. Anything that either of us as posted on YouTube. We can do some Christmas songs if you want that kind of thing. Besides classical, jazz standards and 90’s alt-rock are my specialties but I’ll sing anything as long as I don’t have to do a style that doesn’t suit my voice. Do you have any specific requests?”

“Nothing new. Jon’s mother can’t stand it. A lot of easy stuff.”

“Okay.” Orihime was done talking shop with this guy. He was totally unhelpful. She’d just have to come up with a set list on her own, and if he had a problem with it, it was too bad. “I will get to work, then. Thanks Steve,” she said, not letting her irritation color her voice too much. She pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag and started making up a list from the one she had already worked on after Jon had called earlier that week.

Ulquiorra just walked into the music room and stood there while Steve went passed him. As soon as the other man was gone, Ulquiorra spoke up. “Hey,” he said. “Anything good?”

“No,” Orihime said as she looked up at him, smiling. “He was completely unhelpful. It’s fine, though. I made a list of the songs we’ve done together or separately that are easy enough to adapt to play relatively unrehearsed. Maybe we can throw a couple new ones in for fun. Your grandmother’s coming so we have to keep it family-friendly. Know any Kidz Bop?”

“My grandmother is in her late seventies and hates Steve,” Ulquiorra said. He walked up behind Orihime and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry.”

Orihime had leaned her head back onto his shoulder when he embraced her, but frowned at his apology. “What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry for not telling you the whole truth. I didn’t want you to worry.”

She sighed. “There’s nothing to apologize for about that. It hadn’t come up. It came up now. It doesn’t define you unless you let it,” she said, putting her arms over his.

“I’ve never let it define me. Things couldn’t be controlled so I decided to do something extreme.”

She furrowed her brows, but when she spoke, she was calm. “This is not acceptable. You must know this. Were you able to control those things that were uncontrollable before by not eating? Surely not. It was an exercise in futility.” She pursed her lips as she recalled her conversations with him and Jon. “You have more control than you think. You have a tendency to give control to others and then get angry when they exercise it to your detriment. I am not perfect nor am I an expert, but we’ve talked about this before. Never in this context though,” she sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m getting sucked into it and that’s not what today is about.”

Ulquiorra turned her around and put his arms around her neck. She was the only person who seemed to understand him. He held her close. “It’s cool. You know me though. No confrontation. It’s usually how I get into the messes I get into to begin with. We can talk about this at a later time, we have a lot to talk over but… I love you.”

She held him tightly. “I love you too. So much. I just want what’s best for you.”

“Ahem,” a voice came from the door. “I’m paying you to play, not “play”, so enough with that and get to work!” Steve whined, then left.

Orihime pulled back and looked at the spot where Steve had been and then Ulquiorra. “What the heck was that?” she asked, then started laughing.

“No straightness while in the house. Steve hates it,” Ulquiorra said. “It’s a Steve law after he--It’s not important.”

Orihime raised her brows and rolled her eyes. “Well regardless, he’s in for some disappointment.” She laughed. “He’s right about one thing though, we have some work to do. Do you want to do this down here with the piano or upstairs?”

“You want to fuck on the piano?” Ulquiorra scowled, misunderstanding her question.

“No!” she said, looking at him like he was dense. “But, I mean… if they ever asked us to housesit…” she trailed off as she eyed the instrument, then shook her head. “No, I mean, work on a set list!”

Ulquiorra laughed. “Okay, for one, no one is putting a bare ass on my piano. Two, Miss Inoue, now all I can think of is fucking you on the couch or the dining table.”

She smiled at him. “I’m sorry, Mr. Cifer, but Steve’s rules still apply. Where do you want to work?”

“Let’s go upstairs, I can grope you in my room and no one will say anything.”

***

They made a list that would span a little over three hours if they played non-stop. Neither of them expected to go through the entire list. They worked on some new songs, putting together simple arrangements and harmonies for them to sing together. By the time it was the appointed hour, Orihime was feeling excited.

“This is going to be nice. I’ve been wanting to play with you again since the Vega IV show. I had always thought we would play Sado’s once more but this is just as good.”

“All you had to do was ask,” Ulquiorra said as he rifled through his closet looking for a nice dress shirt. He ended up going with a mint colored one, tucking it into his trousers that he had also found in the closet. Both were slightly baggy on his frame now. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He was going to need a belt. “Do I need a tie? Do you think I should wear one?”

“No. You look great. I feel kind of like a frump now,” she said, looking down at her outfit. She was wearing a longer autumn-hued floral print dress. She had brought a maroon beret to wear as well to add to a more wintery-holiday-ish feel. “What do you think about the hat?”

Ulquiorra was stripping his belt from his jeans. It wasn’t exactly dressy with the studs but it had to do. He looked up at Orihime and smiled. “You look gorgeous. It’s sophisticated,” he said. “Suits you.”

She laughed. “It feels like I’m trying to be a Sunday school teacher, but it’s cute, right? Family-friendly.”

As soon as his belt was in place, Ulquiorra took Orihime’s hand and led her downstairs. The first person they came across was Steve.

“It’s nice that your room is soundproof,” Steve quipped as they passed by him. It made Ulquiorra roll his eyes. 

Orihime couldn’t help but give the man a hard time. “I know, Steve. You might have had to hear us… singing,” she drew out the pause for a long time just to watch him squirm, then she laughed.

Jon walked into the foyer. “Knock it off you two,” he scolded. “You’re going to get fifteen minute breaks every hour. Depending on my mood it may or may not last the entire four hours. Orihime, Here is your money,” Jon said as he handed her an envelope.

“Where’s mine?”

“You’re a big rockstar now. Work for your money and I might throw some bills your way.”

“Thank you,” Orihime said, putting the money into her bag without looking at it. “And don’t worry you’ll get your cut, but I run this racket,” she teased Ulquiorra. “Where do you want us to set up, Jon?”

“You’ll be in the music room,” the man replied. “Mics are already set up and speakers are dotted through the house and outside. If you need something to drink or eat, let one of us know, okay?”

Orihime nodded. “Let’s go, then,” she said to Ulquiorra softly, giving him a little smile. It was meant for him only.

“Good luck kids,” Jon called after them as they disappeared through the door to his den and the music room.

Ulquiorra had to roll his eyes and as soon as they were out of his father and Steve’s gaze, he pulled Orihime into his arms and kissed her. “Keep the money, okay?”

She looked him in the eyes for awhile. He seemed set on this. “Okay. I’ll use it to buy a bathing suit for California.”

“No, I can do that when you get out there. Save it for when you need it,” he said, kissing her again. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Of course. I’m a professional,” she said, smiling into his face. He was really much too serious. He needed more happiness in his life. “Let’s have fun, yeah? It’s music.”

A smile crossed his face and he nodded. “Okay, Vega. Let’s do this.”

She smiled back and set up a microphone to reach down toward her mouth. “Hello? Test?” She heard her voice echo through a speaker. She turned to Ulquiorra. “Your mics okay?”

Ulquiorra adjusted his microphone from where he sat on the stool, wishing he had brought his acoustic from California. The Fender was okay but it was nothing like his Martin. He strummed the guitar and turned the keys at the top slightly. He nodded and said into the mic, “Hello?”

When his voice echoed back at him, he gave Orihime a thumbs up.

They had decided on a duet for starters. Orihime started the vocals while Ulquiorra strummed chords on a guitar, then took over the vocals, then they eventually sang together in harmony. It was fun. Orihime was all smiles.

After they sang the first song, Ulquiorra smiled at the redhead. He nodded at her again. He didn’t know why he got nervous once he started playing. At the end of the first forty-five minutes, he needed water. “Break time?” he asked Orihime.

“Yeah,” she said and cleared her throat. “That was awesome, by the way.”

“Eh, I could have done better,” he said as they walked through the house. Other people were milling about and talking. Ulquiorra felt like they were staring at him. “Did you want to meet my grandma?”

“Is she nice?” Orihime asked, unsure. So far the only person in his life who had made a good impression on her was Jon. Then again, if this was his mother, she had to be okay. “Just kidding, of course I do.”

Who a person was determined whether Natalie Cifer was nice or not. If she was Maria Cifer, no, Natalie was not kind, and Orihime certainly wasn’t Nel. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m told that she doesn’t like Nel or my mom--Shit. I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to mention her.”

Orihime smirked. “Context is everything, my dear. This was a totally appropriate name-drop. Besides, you don’t have to tiptoe around me, I’m not going to fall to pieces. Her name is not what bothers me. It’s just her.”

He was going to answer, but as usual, someone interrupted him. “Ulquiorra Murcielago Cifer! Get over here and say hello to your Grandma!”

“You better go,” Orihime said with wide eyes and a small, amused smile. She followed a few paces behind.

“Coward,” he muttered but in a teasing way. When they reached the woman with the same green eyes as him, he decided to throw Orihime slightly under the bus. “Grandmother, this is my… This is my girlfriend, Orihime. Orihime, this is my grandmother, Natalie Cifer.”

Orihime smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Cifer,” she said as she joined Ulquiorra’s side.

The woman with white hair, and the same straight nose and a thin mouth as her grandson's, looked at the short redhead. “Well this is an improvement,” Natalie said as she extended a hand to Orihime. “Did the trollop end up in a ditch somewhere, Ulquiorra?”

“Gran! No!” Ulquiorra stated. 

“Sorry, boy. She called me an old biddy. I don’t forgive things like that.” Natalie shook her head.

Orihime nodded with a pressed-lip smile. She liked Natalie Cifer’s spunk. 

Ulquiorra sighed. How did someone like his father come from a woman like this? He stared at the outspoken woman. 

“Do not look at me like that,” she scolded. “I will bend you over my knee for your cheek; don’t think I won’t.” Natalie playfully shook a finger at him before she smiled at her grandson. “Come, here and give Gran a hug. You’re growing up and--” She sniffed.

“You always get emotional,” Ulquiorra said before he gave his grandmother a brief hug.

“You always get mouthy, too. Get out of here,” she said releasing him.

Orihime watched the interaction with a wistful smile. She was glad to see more of Ulquiorra’s family. She hoped he had aunts and uncles and cousins, too. He’d never talked about it but it was nice to imagine that he did.

“What?” he asked as they walked through the house and into the kitchen.

“Nothing. I just like to see you being loved on, that’s all.”

He raised an eyebrow at that statement and then leaned against the counter. “Loved on? Tch, these people I call family are crazy. My grandmother likes you.”

“Well, I’ll take the title of “improvement” over “trollop” any day,” she said with a short giggle. “Crazy family is alright as long as they’re kind and love you, right?”

“They’re okay once in a while. Did you know your grandparents?”

“No. My dad’s parents are or were in Japan. I don’t know if they are alive or not. My mother’s parents were very old when I was born and died shortly after she did. They lived in Connecticut and I only have one picture with them.”

Wow. It seemed like Orihime was truly alone in the world. He frowned. “You’ve got me and Dad and Gran now. So you’ve got a family.”

She looked at her feet and smiled. It was a lovely idea. It was not reality, but it was a lovely idea. Still, that they liked her made her feel welcome and comfortable, and it was nice to imagine what it might be like if it ever became a reality some day.

“So, uh, you didn’t correct me when I called you my girlfriend,” Ulquiorra said.

She looked up him and grinned. “Well, I’m not your sister or your wife or something else, so I think girlfriend fits.”

The smile that came over Ulquiorra’s face was brilliant and he blushed. “Get something to drink and we can go sing our hearts out again.”

***

They ended their second stretch of songs with a pretty duet of Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time, for which Ulquiorra played guitar and Orihime played piano. It left Orihime feeling slightly emotional. She was relating to the lyrics a little too well, and there has been a fair amount of significant eye contact between the two singers during the song. They even had a bit of an audience; some of Jon and Steve’s friends had found their way to the music room and stood in a grouping near the door listening, watching, and chatting sporadically. The group applauded when they were finished. 

A long breath left him as they left the room. Ulquiorra headed to the kitchen to get something to drink. The lyrics to that song had tugged at his heart. It reminded him of the past month and their entire relationship. After he swiped a bottle of water off of the counter, he decided to browse what his father had made in way of food. There were cupcakes, cookies, some pasta, a bunch of finger food, or as Ulquiorra liked to call it, basic bitch party food. Nothing looked appealing. It really wasn’t when he heard Steve behind him.

“You upset your dad.”

A sigh. This wasn’t the time or the place for this discussion. Ulquiorra turned and glanced at his father's boyfriend. “You upset him all the time,” he countered. “The only difference is that I know I’m wrong.”

“Are you implying something?” Steve asked.

“Had you just stayed gone, maybe things wouldn’t have happened the way they did.” Ulquiorra stated before he turned and went to find Orihime.

Orihime had been stopped by a couple of Jon and Steve's friends, and was making polite conversation about how she had gotten to know the couple. 

“Yes, I’ve known Ulquiorra for a couple years now but we started dating when we started going to OSU.”

An older man spoke, “Well, I must say I’m surprised. Steve always said Ulquiorra wasn’t into girls; not that we believed him. He always had that neighbor girl around and they were constantly hanging off each other—“

This man’s date slapped his arm lightly. “Christopher! Don’t you think that that’s a little insensitive?”

Christopher countered, in unison with Orihime, “It is what it is.”

Orihime continued. “No, really. I’ve met Nel several times. I think it’s safe to say that at this point she is in the past. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I need some water.”

She turned to see Ulquiorra standing a couple paces away.

“Making friends?” He asked a small smile on his face. He has watched Orihime interact with his dad’s friends. She knew how to charm people.

Orihime turned. “Oh, yeah, um. I was just about to look for you. I’m kind of hungry.”

Holding out his hand, Ulquiorra led Orihime to the other side of the kitchen where the food was sitting. Obviously his father had used a catering service for their silverware, plates and napkins. He knew what their mismatched cutlery looked like. “That set was really good,” he remarked.

“Yeah it was. That last song really got to me.”

He gave her a soft smile. “Me too,” Ulquiorra said. “It was—it spoke to me.”

“Same,” she said, nodding and stepping into his side, putting her arm around his back and hugging him from the side. She felt like a broken record telling him she loved him all the time but it’s how she felt. Once more would not hurt. “I love you.”

She looked at the spread Jon had set out in the kitchen and pursed her lips. “Well, we know his pasta is good. You want some? I can make us a plate to split if you want. I don’t need any sweets though.” She looked a bit closer at the offerings. “Do you think he would mind if we swiped all of these olives?” She asked, looking back to Ulquiorra and chuckling.

He shook his head. “Uh, my dad made me drink these shakes we have… from the first time. I’ll eat after the party. I think he has a jar of those in the pantry.”

Orihime laughed. “Well I have to save some for the guests. I’ll wait for you if you want to wait to eat.”

“Are you sure? If you’re hungry, you can eat,” he said. The way she said that made him feel guilty.

“Well, maybe a couple olives now then something substantial later,” she said, her stomach rumbling silently. She might have to pocket a cookie and bring it with her but she didn’t want to give Ulquiorra an excuse not to eat later.

“So are you excited for the next set?” He asked as Orihime got herself something to snack on.

She nodded, mouth full of olive. After she swallowed she said, “Yeah, but I don’t know if we can top Time After Time. We should record it when I get to LA. I really like us singing it together.”

Ulquiorra blushed slightly. “It’s a good song, but I’m sure we can find something happier to sing,” he replied.

“We can sing a lot of stuff. I don’t think it’s a sad song, though. Everyone gets lost sometimes. You just have to reach out,” Orihime grinned at him and grabbed one last olive.

He took a sip of his water as he watched her for a moment. Tomorrow night was going to kill him. Already he didn’t want to leave this place, because Orihime was here and she wasn’t in California with him. Soon she would be, but it wouldn’t be soon enough for him. He shuffled over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and bent his head down to whisper into her ear, “I love you.”

She sensed his mood shift. “What’s the matter?” she asked, turning in his arms to face him with a worried brow. “What are you thinking?”

He had to swallow his emotions. It wouldn’t do to cry when they had another forty-five minutes to sing. “I don’t want to go. I just want to keep reliving this weekend.”

“I want you to stay. But that’s not really what you want, is it?” she asked, looking up at him with a raised brow. This was something that they had talked about over and over again since they knew each other. He wanted a recording contract and now he had one.

It was what he wanted, but he had only gotten it because of Orihime. Ulquiorra nodded. “You’ll be with me soon,” he said. He bit his lip trying to stomp down the feeling of unease growing in his stomach. They were okay right now. Everything was fine with them. Sure, they had stuff to talk about, but right now it was good.

“Three weeks. You get me a flight after finals and I will be on it without question,” she said, giving him a hug. She was glad he missed her, but this kind of reaction made her worry that loneliness wasn’t the root of his issues; fear was. 

“What are you afraid of?” she asked into his ear.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “Things are okay right now, but it’s a house of cards.”

“Is it that bad? I don’t know. It’s not a cakewalk, but I’m sure it will work out. I think so. We love each other. We want it to work. The only thing in our way is ourselves. It’s our choice.”

Ulquiorra nodded and smiled. “You’re right, Veggs. You ready to get this next set done with?” Right now he had a job to do and that was to make sure that he didn’t make a fool of himself or Orihime. They needed to sound good.

“Mm,” she said with a bright smile and a decided nod. “Let’s knock their socks off.”

***

Jon came up to Orihime after their last song. ”You guys are doing a great job but people are starting to leave, so if you want me to hook up the stereo or something… But, I’ve had several people give me cards for you. They want you to sing for them, Orihime.”

Orihime took them and slid the cards into her purse. “Thank you,” she said without further comment. It wasn’t useful to argue about leaving Ohio. “I don’t mind either way about the stereo.”

“I know you’re leaving but I didn’t want to dash their hopes and dreams.” Jon laughed and gave Orihime a one-armed hug. “Ulq, you need to eat.”

The male he addressed rolled his eyes. “I was going to do that now. Go ahead and put on the stereo. My fingers are cramping.”

“Oh yes, food!” Orihime nearly cheered, and led the way to the kitchen.

Ulquiorra followed her and smiled. His dad seemed to like Orihime. He had never hugged Nel voluntarily. “Yes, food,” he said with a chuckle. “I know how to distract you now. Offer pasta.”

“Yeah until I start getting fat. Then you’ll have to switch to something else,” she said without turning around.

“Tch.” He rolled his eyes again. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but I’m not with you just because you’re gorgeous. You are a perfect package of sassiness, wit, smarts, and comical antics.”

“Don’t forget sweetness and light,” she teased. “You’re not so bad yourself, Hotshot.”

He leaned close to Orihime. “Could offer you my dick, but you would get bored with that.”

“Hardly,” she said, then laughed at her inadvertent pun. “That’s not what I meant!” she claimed innocence.

Laughing along with her, Ulquiorra picked up a plate and went around to each of the dishes his father had made. He made sure to get some of everything. “Hardly what? Hardly you’ll get bored or…?”

She was glad he didn’t pick up on the blatantly obvious connotation and exploit it. “I meant I don’t get tired of you or our, um,  _ romantic  _ activities.”

Another chuckle went through him. “Well if we’re talking about hard things...” Ulquiorra smirked at her before he trailed off completely. 

She would have groaned but he wasn’t wrong. “Do you want to get going soon? Eat and run? Is that what you’re suggesting?”

“We can stay here tonight if you want, or we can head back. I’m sure Steve thinks we’ll be around to help clean up so he doesn’t have to rely on some service to do it,” Ulquiorra replied.

“So are you trying to tell me you want to take me out somewhere tonight and/or leave at the crack of dawn? Because I’m game,” she laughed. She wanted to ask if he’d ever fucked in his bed before but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer.

Ulquiorra shook his head. “One, you’re not exactly a morning person. Two, where would you want to go? All that’s around here are drug addicts and cornfields.”

“Yeah, no thanks. Why does your dad live here?” she murmured to nobody. “We can stay. It’s late.”

“He grew up here. He went to California to some exalted pastry school which he flunked out of because those French chefs were too uppity about what a wedding cake was supposed to look like,” Ulquiorra answered before he popped a couple of olives in his mouth. “Gran lives a couple of streets over.”

“Makes sense. I mean,” she sighed. “I hate saying it over and over again because I feel like I’m trying to sound special, but I really don’t have anything to compare it to on a personal level. My grandma and grandpa Inoue were living in California when my dad was little and then went back to Japan when he was in high school. My dad came back for college and never left. My mom was from Connecticut and Claire the cow is the only Cartwright left that I know of. Apparently they were all WASPy assholes like her, though, so good riddance.”

Ulquiorra scrunched his nose at that. “You know, I’m glad that you fell into the clutches of Claire because we met, but on the same train of thought, I hate her,” he said as he started pushing some food around his plate. 

Orihime chuckled. “You’re right. She’s an awful person. But, you know, she kept me off the streets and I met you because of my circumstances. I wouldn’t have changed anything, knowing what I know now. Oh, also, you’re not fooling anyone. Eat that or drink a nasty shake.”

“I’m going to eat it,” he said, giving her an unamused look. “Want to take our plates up to my room?”

A wicked smile was all he saw before she swept past him, weaving her way through straggling guests and up the stairs.


	4. The Truth Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...

He could feel his eyes burning. His lip was trying to move. Ulquiorra had thirty minutes until he had to go through security and run to his gate. He was sitting in the main terminal with Orihime on his lap. They had spent last night wrapped up in each other in his bed at his dad’s house watching movies. They had sex in the same bed. He liked seeing her hair splayed out on his pillows and how the pale, smooth skin of hers contrasted with the dark gray sheets he had. 

“You can keep me in your dorm. You can have a pet Obscuras Four,” he said to her, his voice on the edge of being ragged.

“Say the word. Come back anytime. You always have a home with me,” she whispered, unable to use her voice without whimpering. She kept running her hands over his hair and blinking stray tears out of her eyes. “As soon as you are ready for me, send me an itinerary. I am not waiting for anything except you.”

He smiled sadly, “You and I, we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.” Ulquiorra started singing softly to her. It was one of the songs that he thought of whenever he thought of Orihime. “With you, I'm alive, like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide… Dammit. I said I wouldn’t cry.”

She tightened her arms around his neck and held on, hiding her tears as they bled into his shirt. “I know you’re just a call away but I’m going to miss you so much. I love you.”

There was a flicker of a thought that he should just stay here with her. He’d get a job at his dad’s shop. They’d see each other a lot more. “Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for helping me achieve this dream,” he said as Ulquiorra’s arms tightened around her.

“Don’t say that. It sounds like a goodbye,” she said in a soft cry. “I always believe in you. I may be Vega, but you’re my Altair. You’re my star. I’m just across the Milky Way. Or, in this case, um, the Midwest,” she said and chuckled at her cheesy comparison.

“It’s not goodbye,” he said. He hid his face in her neck. “I’m going to miss you. A lot. We could take another photo and put it on Instagram.”

She nodded, and wiped her eyes on her sleeves as she pulled back.

Ulquiorra also wiped his eyes and dug his phone out of his pocket. He kept his eyes on Orihime as he started taking pictures of them. “I love you,” he said, ending the statement with a kiss.

“I love you, Ulquiorra. So much. So much,” she said, then collapsed into quiet sobs, holding him to her tightly and clenching her teeth to stop herself from making a bigger scene.

“I’ll text you as soon as I touch down. I’ll video call you tomorrow. I want to sing to you to sleep again,” he said to her. He felt like their time was coming to a close. “Hopefully by December eighteenth, you’ll be out there with me.”

She nodded. “Yes. I hope before then, or I’ll be camping out here,” she said, looking around the terminal. “I can be on a plane as early as the thirteenth. Don’t text me. Call. Call and text.”

He looked at his watch which sat on his wrist beside the Hufflepuff bracelet she had gotten him. He hadn’t taken it off. “I’ve got to--” Ulquiorra felt the words dying in his throat. “I left my t-shirt in your room.”

She grasped him tightly again and tried to speak but only a high, tight whine came out. She pulled back and pecked at his lips five or six times and then reluctantly stood up off of his lap, wringing her hands and wiping her face. “I’m so stupid. It’s only three weeks, right?”

Ulquiorra stood, leaning down to kiss her softly. “Three weeks and you’ll be back in my arms. You’re my person. I’m yours,” he said taking a step away from her.

She stood in place, nodding, watching him take one more slow step backward, and then another. She couldn’t take it. She lunged forward and nearly fell into his arms, then stood on her toes and pulled him into a deep kiss, putting all the feeling she could muster into it, tasting the tears he had swallowed on his tongue and letting him taste hers. She breathed the peculiar smell of his breath laced with sadness and pressed her body into his. 

After a minute, it was over. She stepped away. He had to go. 

But she held his hand. “I love you, Ulquiorra. Have a good trip,” she said, giving it a squeeze and letting go.

“Same, Vega. Do not spend that hard earned money on something frivolous,” he said, a sad look in his eyes.

She forced a smile. It looked weird. “I’ll spend it all on something really important. I don’t know what. Maybe Singapore noodles and pizza.”

He kept walking backward until he was in line for security. It was then that Ulquiorra looked through the phone and the pictures he had taken. His eyes took in how desperately he looked at Orihime. He saw how sad she appeared. Why was this--This hurt again. He quickly made an Instagram post and uploaded the three best shots. He ended it with the photo of them kissing. He tagged it with the words first love and my girlfriend before mentioning Orihime’s username.

Orihime stood and watched him until she couldn’t see him anymore. She waved as he passed security but he didn’t seem to be able to see her. Just as well, she thought. This was torture. She decided to not wait to text him.

\- I hope we don’t ever have to do this again! Next time I’m coming with you.

Ulquiorra got the message as he was handing his ticket to the person at the gate. He frowned as he read it. 

\- Definitely. Even if I have to smuggle you. Lol. Check IG. <3

She wiped her eyes and smiled. It was getting easier already. She opened the app and looked at the pictures he had posted. There were already thousands of likes. She chuckled as she saw how pathetic they looked. It made her happy. They really did love each other. They made a good-looking pair.

\- that is one attractive sad couple. Happy reunion pics next time. <3

She walked out to the seat they had occupied before and sat, waiting to watch his flight take off before she left the airport.

***

It was dawn when his plane landed at LAX. Ulquiorra felt like hell. He’d texted Nanao and told her he was back in town and would catch an Uber back to Laguna Beach. She told him to forget that idea and that she would pick him up. The next thing he did as he walked through the airport was call Orihime. He didn’t care if she was in class or not. She told him to call. 

No one picked up, so he left a voicemail. 

“Hey, it’s me. I already miss you so much. Uh, text or call me when you get this? Love you, Orihime.”

It was fifteen minutes later when he was climbing into Nanao’s car. She looked mad. “What did I do?” he asked.

“Uh, Instagram?” she snapped as she began to drive. “First off, What the hell are you doing posting pictures with her? Secondly, I am really going to need your password to it.”

“No. Instagram has a lot of personal messages between me and Vega. I don’t want anyone else seeing it.”

The woman scoffed. “Then I’m going to make an official account for you.”

It was that moment that Ulquiorra’s phone started vibrating.

“Hey,” He said as he answered the call. He saw it was Orihime. “Were you in class?”

“No, shower. How was your flight?”

Ulquiorra smiled at that mental image. “Rough as hell. Coach isn’t fun as first class,” he replied. “You told me to call when I landed.”

“Thank you. Last night was cold without you. I slept with your t-shirt though, so that helped,” she laughed, a bit embarrassed. “Anyway, what do you have planned for today?”

That tugged at his heart. “Nan, what’s on the agenda for today?” he asked the woman who was driving.

“Meeting with your mom and some other people, discussing album versus an EP. You also have an appearance to do at a YouTube party. As far as I know those are the only two things on for today.”

“In other words, I’m going to be preened today,” Ulquiorra said.

Orihime sighed. “You poor thing. I have theory in about fifteen minutes, and then I have _our_ classes later. I am living your dream; all my group work has now been changed to individual now that your withdrawal has gone through.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I was there helping you, but we would end up more distracted than doing actual work,” he told her. “You doing okay, beyond all of that?”

She didn’t want him to feel guilty. “I just miss you. Three weeks. That’s pretty much all that’s on my mind.” She didn’t mention that she cried through her shower or that she spent all night looking at photos of them together until she passed out.

The tone of her voice sounded like there was something laying under all of that. Like she was trying to be happy or neutral despite things. “Three weeks, I’m going to book your flight today or tomorrow. As soon as I get a chance, at least. Do you know what you’re going to do with your stuff?”

“I don’t have a lot. I’ll take my car to a dealership and anything I can’t fit in my luggage will get shipped. You can tell me the address later; I’m walking to class now.”

“Okay, um, call me when you have a block of free time?”

“I will. I love you so much, Ulquiorra.”

“Love you too,” he said and ended the call. He saw Nanao roll her eyes. “What?”

“You two are sappy and pathetic. It’s sickening.”

The rest of his day dragged on through the meetings and then his appearance. He stayed at the party for twenty minutes before hopping in his car and fighting his way through traffic. Once he was inside the beach house, Ulquiorra went up to his room. 

He took his phone off of silent and noticed he had missed calls. Shit. One of the calls was from the redhead.

Orihime had tried calling while he was driving, but it went to voicemail. “Hey, it’s me. I’m home for the night so call me when you get a chance. I love you!”

He called back. 

She picked up on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, sorry. I was driving,” he said and then sighed.

“That’s fine. What’s the matter? You sound stressed.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve had this feeling all day today. I’ve felt very off since I got into the car with Nan.”

“Like how? Is it physical? Are you coming down with something? Or is it something else?” she asked, trying not to sound too anxious.

“Honestly, I have no clue. I just feel like some part of me is missing? I don’t know how to describe it. It could be the fact that I miss you,” he said. “How are things? Did you get stuff done?”

She refrained from cooing an “aw”. “I miss you too. Things are things. It’s all a matter of just getting stuff done. I did my reading for my classes. I don’t go to Aizen’s studio anymore, so tomorrow is just English and Piano. I practiced piano today for a bit. I talked to Hailey a little, today. She is thinking about lodging a formal complaint against Aizen…” she trailed off.

Oh? This was interesting. “Yeah, you going in on that?” Ulquiorra didn’t want to think of the implications if Orihime’s aunt got wind of it. It would probably be bad.

“I’m thinking about it. I don’t want to make my life more complicated, but I don’t want him to get away with what he’s done, either. What do you think?” She sounded conflicted.

His mouth twisted to the side as he thought about it. “On one hand yes, I think you should do it. The other no, because it could come back and bite you on the ass because of your aunt,” Ulquiorra replied.

“Yeah. She still has a lot of prestige in the classical music world, but I’ve already given that up, so I feel like it’s just an excuse,” she sighed. “Maybe if I just sign something or write a statement about my experience? I don’t know. Is there something I’m not considering?”

Ulquiorra didn’t know. His experience with that whole thing was limited to Nel, and what happened to him was public, but no one would believe him because his hands had been all over the green-haired woman. “I’ve not a clue, just be careful, okay?”

“Mmm,” she replied, chewing on her lip. “I’ll think about it some more. I won’t do anything if it’s going to affect you adversely either. Hailey thinks there are enough girls to do it without me. I’d feel a little guilty about it, but that’s life. It wouldn’t feel _that_ bad.” She sighed. “Are you having some fun at least?” She was beginning to wonder what he had expected when he left. She had spoken to him about the perils of having other people control your life that only cared about what they could gain from it. She had lived that life with Claire for a long time. Ulquiorra seemed to minimize what it would mean to him when she spoke with him about it. 

“No. I have no interest in the business or legal side of all of this. I just want to sing and no one seems to understand that. From what it sounds like, I’m going to be putting out an actual album next year,” Ulquiorra said. He didn’t know why he was feeling so down. It was as soon as he came back to his reality, all his happiness was sapped from him.

“Well, that will be good! I can’t wait to hear more about that. Maybe once things get rolling you can get yourself an actual agent. Someone who can do all the stuff you don’t want to do and doesn’t just boss you around. It sounds like you are just busy jumping through hoops right now.”

He had a feeling he had to jump through a lot more hoops to do anything. He didn’t want to think about all this right now. “Twenty days and counting,” Ulquiorra said. “I’m going to cross the days off on my calendar.”

“Same!” she replied enthusiastically. “Maybe when I get out there I can tell those bossy bitches to back off. I have nothing to lose, right?” she laughed. She wouldn’t actually interfere with Ulquiorra’s business unless he asked her to.

He laughed. “What are you going to do? Headbutt their kneecaps and shake your fist like an angry toddler?”

“You think you have seen me angry? Ha!”

“We’ve never seen each other truly angry. I don’t think I would want to see you angry,” he said still chuckling.

She chuckled too. “Unfortunately, I think you’ll eventually provoke my ire when I am around,” she qualified that statement. He had already made her hurt and furious. He just hadn’t been lucid enough to realize it at the time, nor had he stuck around for the aftermath. “It’s something to look forward to. Besides, I’ve heard make-up sex is hot.”

He had to bite his lip at that. “If it was anything like the sex we had this weekend, I’ll die.”

“That’s another thing we need to work on. You need to be with me long enough to get used to it. I don’t want to have to worry about killing you,” she really laughed after this.

“I can work on the stamina thing. It’s just the resulting orgasm might blow my mind,” Ulquiorra said. He had a smile on his face. “This sucks, Veggs.”

“What does? Did you forget the two years before we met? We were happy then, right? Well, maybe wistful and curious and a bit obsessed sometimes, but I was always so happy to hear from you.”

They weren’t exactly together during that time. They had been two strangers on the internet. They didn’t have the conversations and kisses and touches. They didn’t have a strong emotional bond. “It sucks you’re twenty-two hundred miles from me. It sucks I was an idiot.”

A small, somewhat strained laugh answered him. “Yeah, that sucked. This sucks. I just want to be with you. It feels like I’m just going through the motions.”

A sigh left him. “We’re going to have to talk about this when you get here. It’s something that we’re overlooking at the moment but we’re going to have to work through it.”

“Yeah, for sure. I know. I’m not even trying to avoid it, per se, I just didn’t want to waste what little time we had together this weekend on unpleasant things. There will be time for that later.”

Sometimes Orihime was really too good for him. She was awesome. “I hate to cut this short but I need to eat and shower. I’ve not really had a lot to eat today. I’ve been busy.”

Orihime sighed. She was disappointed but she understood. “Maybe you should carry a supply of energy bars or something around that don’t taste like crap. You’re probably only going to get busier. Anyway, sorry. If you let me I’ll never let you go,” a soft sigh punctuated this statement. “Goodnight, Ulquiorra. I love you.”

“Goodnight, Orihime. I love you and I miss you.”

The next day he spent in the studio attached to the house. There was a melody in his head that was clamoring to get out of his head. He ignored everyone’s calls and texts except for Orihime’s. He was in the kitchen on the phone with her, making himself something to eat later that evening. It wasn’t much, just that pasta dish his father made. “So I got most of the song I was thinking about out. It needs to be polished and words.”

“That’s great! What a productive day so far. I can’t wait to hear it… Do you think you can hum a bit of it to me?” Orihime asked, lying on her bed and writing out some figured bass exercises for theory.

“Maybe in a bit. I’m kind of drooling over what I’m making. My dad never adds protein to this stuff but I’m attempting to broil a piece of salmon to go with it,” Ulquiorra said. His phone buzzed indicating he had a text.

“Ooh, sounds awesome,” Orihime said. “I was just going to have a salad for dinner.”

Ulquiorra nodded. He could have salad too but he felt like it would be too much. “Well before I started my day I went shopping so that kind of kicked my butt into gear.” He stirred the pasta into the light sauce he’d made. “Tomorrow I was thinking of going for a run or working out--” His phone buzzed again. “Hold on Orihime. That’s my mom texting me. She’s been bothering me all day.”

He pulled the phone away from his face and glared at the message. All it said was call me. “Huh,” he said.

“What does she want?” Orihime asked with lukewarm interest, scratching out a quarter note onto a sheet of staff paper.

“Dunno, she texted to call her,” Ulquiorra stated. “Don’t care. She can leave me alone. Yeah, she’s been helpful but let’s face it, she’s not a mom.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t really sound like one. She sounds kind of cold, to be honest.”

He was silent for a moment as he watched the fish in the oven. “Cold isn’t the word for her. My dad used to tell me I’d act like her sometimes. There’s no way I act like that. I would never kick someone to the curb just for being too depressing. I wouldn’t put said person in a house all by themselves.”

She wanted to agree with him but found that she couldn’t. He had been deathly cold to her before and after the thing with Nel happened. He had made plans to leave and not tell her he wasn’t coming back. He probably had been considering leaving her behind to start his new life without her. She didn’t know. So instead of agreeing, she just replied with an interested hum.

“I don’t know. I kind of act like a dick to people until I get to know them but then again… I don’t really let anyone get close to me. You have,” he said. He took the food off of the stove and out of the oven and plated it. Orihime could probably hear how he banged stuff around and rummaged through drawers. 

“Hey, be careful not to break anything,” Orihime said in a loud, amused voice. “Do you need to put me on speaker?”

“Probably; this pan is hot.” Ulquiorra put the phone down and tapped the speaker icon while he carefully put the dishes in the sink. “And I’ll break stuff if I want. My mom can afford to replace it.” 

“Okay. I’ll wait,” she said with a laugh. “You’re not one for frugality, are you? You know, the concept of taking care of what you have and it will take care of you? Waste not want not?”

Ulquiorra laughed as he came back to where he’d set the phone down. “Okay but this isn’t my stuff. It’s technically my mom’s. I’m just a snotty, bratty child. I swear that’s how she makes me feel sometimes.”

“That’s no good.” Orihime didn’t know what else to say. Claire only ever made her feel like a commodity. Useful or useless, dependent on the situation. 

“Do you want to hear me munch on this or can I call you back later?”

Orihime was one of those people who could not _stand_ the sound of someone chewing. “Um, unless you want me to hijack a plane, come out there and murder you for chewing noises, I suggest you call me back later,” she almost cackled a laugh after that.

“Pfffft,” he scoffed but laughed. Ulquiorra smiled. She was goofy at times but it was endearing. “Give me an hour and if you’re not busy I’ll call back. But maybe I’ll send you some pictures and text you while I eat. You can imagine me chewing.”

“Ugh… Well, at least in my imagination you can chew _silently_. All right, I’ll let you get to your food. Let me know if something comes up with your mom and you get too busy to call, otherwise I’ll worry.”

Ulquiorra’s brows knitted together. He had already forgotten about his mother texting him. “I’ve never been a loud chewer, thank you very much. But I will text and let you know what is going on.”

“Thank you. Hope the food is good. Love you.”

After he hung up, Ulquiorra stared at his mother’s text for a while as he ate. He had done a pretty good job on making it. Maybe his dad was rubbing off on him.

***

Gamuza333

Hey… I need to talk to you.

I know that you hate me or whatever

You’re back with him?

Are you stupid?

Orihime stared at Nel’s message. She stared for a long time. She had too many competing feelings to decide on just one to react with. Offense. Anger. Hate. Jealousy. Curiosity. Fear. What the hell would Nel want to talk to her about? So what if she and Ulquiorra were back together?

Was she stupid?

No, she wasn’t. She hadn’t brushed everything under the rug; they had just decided to deal with it later and work on repairing their bond first. She thought that they had been very successful with that so far. But still… There were a lot of unanswered questions. Things she couldn’t resolve on her own.

  
Then there was the video. The screenshots. The evidence. She had pushed these things from her mind since the day he had showed up at her door sobbing with potted plants in hand. How could she turn him away in that state? She wasn’t heartless. He looked truly pathetic and like he might die if she didn’t take him back. So she had.

_Was_ she stupid?

She shook her head. This was Nel she was thinking about. That say-anything, do-anything bitch who just wanted to stir the shit pot. She didn’t have to respond to her. Ulquiorra and Orihime were going to be fine. They just needed to wait until she got to California and had a chance to talk everything out.

Gamuza333

Come on.

He cheated on you.

He knew what he was doing up to a point.

You saw everything. I know you did.

There’s a side of him that you don’t know.

No. There was no way she was going to fall for Nel’s attempt to tear them apart again. Orihime set her phone aside and got to work on an assignment. She had a lot to do before move-out date. She didn’t have time for Nel’s bullshit.

\- Hey, on the phone with mom still. I’m gonna be busy. Sorry. I’ll text you when I get done. <3

She scowled when her phone buzzed but smiled at his text.

\- No worries. I’ll look forward to your report, lol. <3

She set her phone aside and did some homework for awhile. She was done with classes for the day. At about seven, she decided to go down to the Comm to get some food with Tatsuki. They had decided to watch a movie on the projector in the common area of the dorm later. When she was on her way back, she looked at her phone. There was a missed call from Jon Cifer. That was no good. He wouldn’t call her without a good reason.

“Hey, sorry Tatsuki, I have to make a call. Hopefully I can come down later,” she said, worrying her fingertips between her lips.

“Oh, anything bad?” Tatsuki asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll let you know though. It’s Ulquiorra’s dad. Maybe I just left something at his house over the weekend. Hopefully that’s it.”

Tatsuki nodded and went left while Orihime went right and up to the second floor. Once she was inside her room, she called Jon back.

“Cifer Confections, what can we bake for you today?” Jon chirped.

Oh, he sounded fine, Orihime thought, relieved. “Hi Jon, it’s Orihime. I missed your call before, sorry about that. What’s up?”

“Oh, uh,” Jon paused for a moment. “Orihime, I know it seems like Ulq is not capable of it, but I just want to make sure that he’s not manipulating you.”

Orihime furrowed her brows. “What do you mean? Why would he do that?”

There was a sigh. Jon’s voice was laced with worry. “I mean Ulquiorra can be rather blunt. He can he rather distant sometimes. He did this to Nel. You stopped being a prominent part of his online life. He started clinging to Nel. As soon as you came back into the picture, he dropped her. Ulq made it seem like Nel was crazy, and maybe she is, but I know my son. He has abandonment issues.”

“I don’t understand. I mean I get that he and Nel had a strained relationship and that their friendship was warped and codependent. He made that abundantly clear to me when we were only talking online. I know he didn’t always see it, but I was constantly telling him that their relationship was toxic. But what does that have to do with me?”

“You only heard one side of the story. I don’t want you two to have the same codependent, toxic relationship. I only know what I saw. I saw Nel holding onto him. I saw him push her away but still holding onto her. Why? Because he was afraid of you leaving him again and he needed someone around.”

“But I don’t get it. I never _left_ him. I still commented on his videos and stuff, I just wasn’t quite as accessible. I still talked to him several times a month and it only lasted four months. And before that we would often go weeks without talking but then talk a lot in short bursts. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“He… He… He got attached to you. It didn’t make sense to me either, but he got attached to Nel pretty quick when we got to Ohio. Maybe a week passed and then they did everything together. I just don’t want you to… Oh what’s the word… I don’t want this to turn into a sad story that you have to think about. I don’t want to tell any future mate of Ulquiorra’s, if there is one, about the Ballad of Nel and Ulquiorra, but wait, there’s also the Tragic Tale of Orihime and Ulquiorra.” Jon sighed. “Do you understand?”

She didn’t, but Jon’s words were making her feel afraid of that lack of understanding. “But,” she knew her next words were going to make her sound pathetic, but she needed to understand. “But he says he loves me.”

Jon was quiet for a long moment. “He probably thinks he loves you. He looks at you like he does, but is it love or is it infatuation? I don’t want you two to go out hating each other like Maria and I.”

Orihime huffed. Yeah, Jon knew his son, but come on. Clearly the man still hadn’t gotten over the hurt of his divorce and was projecting it on everyone else’s relationships. Besides, did Jon have a leg to stand on? He was still with Steve, and according to Ulquiorra, that was a constantly sinking ship. Still.

Still.

“Would you consider what he did with Nel recently cheating on me?”

“Why would he accept a drink from Nel? Why would he allow her to kiss him? Why didn’t he come and find you? It’s nothing like Maria or Steve has done but It could be seen as a betrayal of sorts. I don’t think it’s outright cheating.”

Orihime scoffed. Now she understood why he was with Steve. He rationalized things. She was on the cusp of doing the same. “It is. It is outright cheating. I knew it when I saw the video,” she exhaled audibly. Fucking hell.

“Promise me that you’ll think this decision through, okay? Remember if you need something, I’m here. I’ve not forgiven Ulquiorra yet. He’s still my son and I love him, though.”

“Yeah. Thanks Jon, I’ll… I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up, her hands shaking. She was an idiot. A fool. She had let a bubble grow around her and Ulquiorra where reality had no place, only feelings and desire, and Jesus Christ she was stupid. All the things that she promised herself she wouldn’t do. All the things she never afforded Paulo or the other guys she had dated, she had handed over to Ulquiorra on a silver platter.

She needed to know. She needed to know everything.

Vega.Strife00

I’m listening.

Gamuza333

Want to grab a drink and sit in the Comm?

Orihime took a deep breath. She really didn’t. What if she started sobbing? She shook her head. Tough shit. Time to be a big girl.

Vega.Strife00

I can be there in ten minutes.

***

Nel sat at a table with a bottle of water in front of her. She was slowly spinning it around in circles as she waited. This was going to be a difficult conversation to have. Ulquiorra had brought it on himself, though. He shouldn’t have been a dumbass. He should have picked her instead of Vega.

Orihime decided to go in wearing battle armor. Oversized hoodie. Jeans. Stuff she could hide inside of if worse came to worst. When she got inside the Comm she spotted Nel almost immediately. It wasn’t hard to do. She nodded toward the other woman and then stopped and got a hot tea with honey and walked toward her. She didn’t sit down right away.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I saw his Instagram post.” She nodded to the seat across from her. “Sit. I’m not going to bite or attack you.”

Orihime set her paper cup down on the table and slid into the seat. “Okay, so you saw it.”

Nel looked at the redhead before crossing her arms under her breasts. “He’s not this magical, charismatic guy. He’s not this level headed person you know him as,” she said.

Orihime furrowed her brows. She didn’t consider Ulquiorra to be particularly level-headed. Nor was he magical or charismatic. “I don’t know him as that, Nel. He is kind of bitchy and self-indulgent. He’s not magical. I love him anyway. What is your point?”

She rolled her eyes. “I asked him if I could kiss him. He does this slight head nod thing. He wasn’t drunk yet. I know it seems like I made him do a lot of stuff. He’s not an innocent party. He always went along with what I asked.”

Despite having seen the evidence herself, it still felt like a hot knife through her heart to hear Nel’s words. Orihime took a slow breath. She needed to put her feelings aside and figure this out. “Why do you think he went along with it this time?”

“Ulquiorra can be petty and vindictive if he wants. Maybe he was trying to “get back” at you for the thing with Aizen,” Nel said. Her hand came out and picked up her bottle of water, opening it. “I know I said I wanted him back or whatever. I don’t. He’s an asshole. He’s a huge baby who needs to grow up. He tells people that he stopped eating because of his dad and Steve getting back together. He didn’t.”

This was a lot to unpack. She wished she had brought a notebook, but it would have been very weird. She needed to focus. This was not about the rivalry between her and Nel. This was a fact-finding mission. Her job was to gather as much information as she could and disseminate it later. She nodded toward Nel. “Why did he stop eating, then?”

Nel scoffed as if the idea was utterly ridiculous. “You. He used to whine about it. Oh no Vega didn’t send me a message today. When you finally did he’d be happy and then nothing and he’d go back into a pit of boohoo, woe is me. Then the thing with Jon and Steven then you didn’t message him or worship him all the time.”

This raised her rankles. “I never worshiped him! I gave him constructive criticism!” she was sharp and loud. She couldn’t believe her interactions with ObscurasIV had been taken so out of context. “When he started talking to me about personal stuff I gave him constructive criticism about that, too. He never asked me shit about myself! He didn’t know anything about me. How is it my fault that I thought this was just some kind of online correspondence? What, am I supposed to be sorry that I had a boyfriend?! This is bullshit! I never even stopped talking to him, I just wasn’t always bored and at the ready to reply. I still did. Not much changed then.” She thought about it. Maybe something had changed. When she was with Paulo she had become somewhat less accommodating. More no-nonsense. Less patient.

“That’s the thing with him… He doesn’t ask questions. He assumes things. He wants you to just supply the information. I told him that you had a life. I knew who you were. It’s not hard to look someone up and he let me read all the messages between you two.”

“What the fuck? Well then you know I didn’t worship him. You know he badmouthed you constantly.”

Nel sighed. “I didn’t find out about that until I hacked into his Instagram. He would read your messages to me and ask what I thought. So I knew what you said to him.”

Orihime leaned forward and put her forehead into her palm. “Why do you think he was trying to “get back” at me about the Aizen thing? I didn’t do anything wrong, you know. The guy is a predator. He thinks he is above reproach. Some girls and I are in the process of lodging a formal complaint against him.”

This time Nel shrugged. “Why would Ulquiorra let me do the thing I did to him? Who the hell knows with him. As soon as you came back into Ulq’s life consistently, he dropped me. No warning. No thank you for everything…”

She looked up into Nel’s eyes. “What was the nature of your relationship before that?”

Nel couldn’t take it and looked to the side. “We would hang out. We would watch YouTube videos and make fun of people. He was my first kiss and I was his. I was curious about things so I asked him to fool around.”

This wasn’t news. “Yeah, I know that. But why is everyone acting like things were so great between you two before I “came back”? According to him you were his best friend and you just kept pressuring him for sex, which he did not want. It was a broken record. I heard about it constantly. What piece of the puzzle am I missing?”

“We were best friends. He would tell me that he loved me and we’d always be together. I didn’t realize he meant he loved me like a family member and not a girlfriend. Ulquiorra is amazing at some things, physically. I got carried away and he didn’t say no,” Nel stated. “He’d be like fine, okay.”

“He told you he loved you and you would always be together? What is he, stupid?”

Nel nodded. That was the best way to describe him. “He tries to come off as this apathetic person. He’s not fooling anyone.”

“No he’s not. He is transparent. He expends a lot of energy trying to convince other people that he’s not.” As she thought back on it, Orihime recalled that this was one of the things about ObscurasIV that made her annoyed. He was so hard-headed. He wouldn’t accept what was obvious. Sometimes she would back off from him because he would just keep doing the same thing over and over and disregard what Orihime told him about it. She just never realized how much he contributed to his own problems. Still, what they had discussed so far was between him and Nel. Surely the green-haired woman wouldn’t have asked her to meet and talk if it was just to talk about herself in the past. “Anyway, what bothers you about us getting back together?”

Nel’s lips pursed before she spoke. It was as if she had smelled something unpleasant or had tasted a really sour lemon. “You deserve better. He kissed me back. He will do the same things to you that he did to me. He will make you seem like the crazy one. I think you’re stupid if you take him back without knowing or addressing these things.”

Orihime did a very small eyeroll. “And why do you care one iota about what I deserve? You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. I never hated you. I hated what Ulquiorra did to me concerning you. It sucks when someone just tosses you out like garbage and acts like you don’t matter. Yeah, I took things to extremes. I mean I did try to kill him, but it was at a low and dark point in my life. Don’t be stupid. Make him work for it.”

Orihime took a deep, loud breath. She was more confused than ever. This conversation hadn’t brought her much clarity so far, and it sounded like Nel was wrapping things up. “So, basically you’re just telling me he’s a loser?”

Her green head shook back and forth. “I don’t think he’s a loser. Ulqui and I are never going to be like we were. We’re both at fault for that. He’s a good guy when he doesn’t have his head up his ass; when he’s not trying to be this bad boy. I’ve got to go, um, I’ve got some people waiting for me. Also, the screenshots you were sent? Those weren’t the only conversations I’ve had with him. Every time I’ve messaged him, he’s replied.”

Orihime closed her eyes. Everything had been a lie. “Mind sending some to me? I’m going to need it to give me the backbone I need to do this.” She didn’t specify what “this” was.

Nel cringed inwardly but nodded. She stood, “If you ever want to do each other’s nails and bitch about him--” she laughed because she was joking “-- You know where to find me.”

“Yeah,” Orihime replied. She did not attempt to smile or even say goodbye. She sat and watched Nel leave, then sat and stared at her cup of tea as it got cold, then sat and thought things over until the Comm was closing and a janitor told her to pack it up. She had felt her phone buzz in the meantime. Probably from Nel. She packed up and went back to her dorm before she looked at them.

When she opened her phone and looked at the screenshots, she was glad she had waited. She felt like she was going to vomit. It was a worse betrayal than what he did at the party. He had never actually stopped being with Nel. They had just carried on their little toxic relationship where she offered sex and he denied it behind the scenes. They talked about Orihime and his sex life. There was more of the low-key flirtation.

She didn’t even know what to do. She sat there, staring at her screen, trying not to get sick. She didn’t even know if things were salvageable between them. No, she didn’t know if there was ever anything real to salvage. Their whole relationship had been based on lies. Did he mean anything he ever said to her? How could he have told Nel he loved her and then turned around and say the same words to Orihime and still carry on with Nel?

The answer was obvious. Jon was right. Nel was right. He only cared about himself. The thing with him not standing up for her against Ishida or Aizen. The thing with him planning on ditching her and going to California without telling her because she was no good for his image. The thing about getting drunk and making out with Nel. The thing with him trying to control what she wore because he didn’t want to compete for her attention.

He didn’t know anything about her. Still. He never asked. Everytime she tried to open up about herself he always turned it around to make the conversation about himself.

This hurt. What was worse was that she was going to have to tell him. Even after learning about all of this, all she could picture in her mind was the sight of him sobbing in her room before he left for California. She should have just peeled the bandage off then. It had hurt. She had given in.

She was stupider than he was.


	5. Looking Too Closely

His mother’s version of a quick minute was a six hour fucking conversation with several other people on the line. Why couldn’t a meeting be scheduled? Why couldn’t people just do things conventionally? By the time he got off the phone and settled down for the night it was late, but he still texted Orihime. It was around one in the morning for her.

\- <3 thinking about you. I’ll call tomorrow and let you know what happened.

Then he lay down and looked out at the ocean. There was a lot of space out there. There were a lot of miles that separated him and Orihime. A sigh left him. Was she still awake? No, she’d probably be asleep by now.

Orihime stared at his text with tears streaming down her face. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to face reality. She still didn’t have a plan. Maybe she could throw everything into his lap and see what he had to say. It wasn’t up to her usual standards of maturity, but none of this relationship had lived up to her standards, she had learned. She was hurt and angry, and he owed her an explanation.

\- Are you? I talked to Nel today.

As soon as the message came in and his phone chimed, Ulquiorra had the device in his hands. He looked at the text and raised an eyebrow. What did she mean? Why would she talk to Nel?

\- Yeah? Why wouldn’t I? Anything productive come out of that or does she want to kick your ass?

She couldn’t believe it. Did he live in an alternate universe?

\- Neither. She wanted to fill me in on some things.

She wanted to give him a chance to come clean. Maybe dangling this in front of him would make him man up and confess what he had done. She wasn’t very hopeful, though.

Maybe this wasn’t a conversation to have by text, but then again, Ulquiorra didn’t really want to know what Nel wanted to fill Orihime in on. 

\- You want me to call? Or??? ????

\- Up to you.

Ulquiorra called her. As soon as she picked up, he greeted her, “Hey, Woman.”

Her voice sounded dead. “Hi.” She wasn’t sure she could do this. She stared hard at the screenshots. She decided to just read them outright.

“Gamuza3  
Hey   
  
ObscurasIV   
What?   
  
Gamuza3   
I need help with algebra?   
  
ObscurasIV   
Do you need help or do you need "help"?   
  
Gamuza3   
If you're offering?

;)

***

Gamuza3  
Ulqui!   
  
ObscurasIV   
Nel?   
  
Gamuza3   
God you sound so serious even over text.   
  
ObscurasIV   
Get bent.   
  
Gamuza3   
Wanna bend me over?   
  
ObscurasIV   
…

***

Gamuza3  
You two are loud. You attract a crowd every time you fuck her.   
Sounds like she fakes it.   
  
ObscurasIV   
I know she doesn't get off every time we have sex.   
Thanks.   
  
Gamuza3   
You always knew how to please me.   
  
ObscurasIV   
Fuck off.”

Her voice had been monotone and dry as she read it. She waited. Maybe he had a good excuse.

He was silent. How had she gotten--Nel. Of course. Nel had sent them to her. “What?”

Again, her voice was lifeless. “You told me that you stopped talking to her. You said you had cut her out. These are time stamped from the middle of September to a week before my concert class.”

He knew when those messages were sent. Ulquiorra knew he should have never reacted to them, but he did, just like the previous messages Orihime had seen. “One, she was in my Algebra/Calculus class. Two, big deal, meaningless text based conversations with her.”

“It means something to me!” she shouted. “You lied. You told me you cut her out. And what, are you telling me that _our_ text based conversations were meaningless? They mean something! They mean you never left her behind. They mean you were dishonest with me!”

“Our conversations meant everything to me! What the fuck, Orihime? I left her behind. I’ve never really cared about Nel.” Ulquiorra shut his mouth as soon as he said it. He hadn’t meant for that to come out.

“Bullshit! She told me about how you told her you _loved_ her. How you would _always_ be together. What’s next? You find a new Vega? Suddenly I’m the crazy one that you never really cared about?”

“Oh my god! What the hell? I told her that before-- I told her that before you even came along!”

“And yet you tell me that you never cared about her.” She sighed. This was going about as well as she expected, which meant it wasn’t going well at all. “The fact of the matter is that you cheated on me with her. I know you were drunk and incapacitated at the end, but you were a willing participant at the start. You accepted drinks from her. You agreed to kiss her. You _chose_ her. You don’t do that when you’re in love with someone else. You don’t lie to someone you love. You never loved me.”

His mouth fell open. It closed and then fell open again. Ulquiorra had no words. He didn’t know what to say. He swallowed, his throat tight with the emotions he was feeling. “I thought we were going to work through this when you got here? I thought we were okay? You have really no fucking clue how I feel but you don’t get to tell me that I never loved you!”

“You’re right. I have no fucking clue,” she said, her voice rather shaky now. “How am I supposed to know when I only get partial truths? When you are dishonest with me? How am I supposed to believe you love me when you leave me to fend for myself with Aizen? How am I supposed to know how you feel when you flirt with your ex behind my back for the entire time we were together and then end the whole deal by cheating on me with her?”

“When exactly did I flirt with her? Please, tell me when did I do that?” Ulquiorra snapped.

“Do you want me to send you the screenshots? Or how about the isolated audio from the near sex tape you made with her at that party?”

“I never agreed to kissing her. I never flirted with her. I never looked at another woman besides you!”

“You nodded when she asked to kiss. You were looking at her intently. Don’t try to feed me bullshit.”

Ulquiorra shook his head. He couldn’t believe this. “Any more accusations you want to throw at me? Anything else you want to put out on the table?”

“They’re not accusations. They’re facts. You were planning to leave me behind. You were planning on starting your life in California without me. _You_ told me that. How I let that get swept under the rug just shows what an idiot I am. You don’t know anything about me. Do you know my favorite color? Do you know what I want out of life? Do you know my middle name? Do you know that--” she couldn’t continue as her voice was cut off with a sob.

“You don’t know jack shit about me either. So we’ll call it even. I wanted to be out here and establish myself because my mom wasn’t real crazy about the idea of you. I talked you up to her today. She agreed to buy the plane ticket to get you out here. But it’s whatever now.”

“And that’s how you felt when you were listening to Chad and your band manager? That’s how you felt when you had your fingers buried in Nel’s tits? That’s how you felt when you left me in the same building with my crazy aunt and Aizen?”

“What about when people were calling you a whore? I had to wonder about that,” Ulquiorra seethed. “There had to be some truth to it, or why your aunt would even call you a whore? I had to endure that, too. People coming up to me and telling me that you’re fucking teachers. Did I bring it up? No, I didn’t. There was a reason why I wanted to go slow with you. I wanted to get to know you. Did you fucking respect that boundary? No.”

“Oh, please. You were the one who kept pushing the limits. You never even asked if it was alright with me before you stuck your dick in me. You just did it. It’s not my job to enforce your personal boundaries. It’s yours. Anyway who else was calling me a whore besides that Michelle girl, creepy Ishida and Nel? And Claire? Claire is a crazy asexual bitch who thinks sex only exists as a way to get ahead, and if a woman has it for any other reason, you know, crazy ones like being in love with her boyfriend, that makes her a whore.” She stopped and scoffed. Already he was rewriting history to make her fit the “crazy Nel” narrative. “She told me you would do the same thing to me that you did to her. I didn’t think it would be so soon.”

Bullshit. “I asked if it was okay. I distinctly remember you telling me to push into you harder. There are hundreds of pictures on your phone where you practically look like you’re whoring yourself out. Let’s not forget you slept with me within a week of finding out who I was.” Ulquiorra was quickly becoming irate about this. “You even sang that song and people questioned why you would sing that.”

“I sang it because _you_ suggested it! It’s a good song! And yeah, I’m not saying I didn’t want to have sex with you but you took the initiative on your own. I only encouraged it after you had gotten in there.” She sighed, her breath hitching in her throat. “None of this matters. I know what you think of me now. I’ll let you go.”

The words bitch and please were dying to come out of his mouth. “Don’t fucking kid yourself, Orihime. You were going to fuck me the night you and I made out. The only thing that stopped us was Nel.” He sighed.

“You’re right. I would have. I’m not ashamed to admit it. We had two years of talking to each other. I thought it meant that I knew you. I knew I had feelings for you. I wanted to be with you. I thought I was falling in love with you. I would have done it and if I went back in time and Nel hadn’t shown up I would do it again. That doesn’t make me a whore.”

He scoffed and shook his head. “Okay,” Ulquiorra said. Whatever she wanted to think about him. She didn’t know how he felt and he didn’t feel like opening up to her. At least not right now. There was too much anger inside of him at the moment. “I’ll let you go. Have a good night. Have a good life, I guess.”

She didn’t say anything. It was over. There was nothing left to say. She hung up and cried herself to sleep.

***

Ulquiorra sent the information for his Instagram to Nanao. He also sent a text to his assistant that said she was to delete any pictures of him with Orihime. He knew that would bring his post count down and he would probably regret it later, but at the moment, he didn’t care. He also knew that he wasn’t going to sleep that night, so he decided to sit in the courtyard. He went swimming. He tried to work in the studio. Nothing was getting rid of this build up of emotions inside of him.

Nanao texted him at six in the morning and said it was done. She then asked him if he needed to reschedule things. Did he need a day or two to get through this?

It wouldn’t be best for him if he was by himself, but he agreed.

***

Orihime didn’t go to class the next day and there were no classes on Wednesday; the following day was Thanksgiving, so she wouldn’t have school again until Monday. That morning she was doing what many people do after breakups, crying and feeling sorry for herself while reminiscing about all the good times they had had together. She wanted to see the last picture they had taken together. The one that was tagged _#firstlove_. She had a bitter laugh at that. It had struck her as something one would say about a love that had ended. Not only that, but according to Nel she had not, in fact, been his first love. 

Then came the slap in the face. All of it. Everything. Every trace of their relationship had been erased.

She couldn’t do this. She was spiraling into a dark, scary place. She didn’t want to go there. She needed help, and Tatsuki was nowhere to be found.

So she reached out.

A sniffle. “Jon?”

“Oh no, what’s wrong?” Jon Cifer asked. He saw Orihime was calling so he didn’t even bother with his usual greeting.

“He--” her voice cut off with ragged sobs. 

What had his idiot son done now? “Do you want me to come get you Orihime?”

When the force of her cries allowed, she whimpered, “Uh huh.” She was ashamed to be doing this, but she had never felt like this before. Her heart was crushed. She was all alone in the world, except for Jon Cifer’s generous offer of inclusion. She wasn’t going to let it slip away.

He had figured that Ulquiorra had done something to crush the poor girl, but he didn’t know what. “Tell you what; pack a bag, I’ll bring you back to campus on Sunday. Okay?”

“Okay. No, wait, are you sure? I’m sure you’re busy. I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” the guilt was creeping up on her about what she was asking for. Surely he was working today.

“It’s fine. I’m in Columbus today anyway, delivering cakes. The bakery and coffee shop are closed until Friday morning. It’s okay,” he replied. “Which dorm are you in?”

“Albertson,” she answered. “When do you think you can get here?”

Jon punched the name of the dorm up on a map. He wasn’t that far away. “Eh, give me fifteen minutes?”

“Okay, thank you,” Orihime said, feeling something like she had a guardian angel. “I’ll see you soon.”

***

“Ulquiorra do you want--”

“No, I’m fine sitting at this place and being by myself. I don’t want any company, Mother.” Ulquiorra hadn’t really moved from the bed since he fell asleep in the early morning hours after Orihime had broken it off with him. Well, she hadn’t technically broken up with him. There was nothing that she said that specifically meant this was the end. There were heated words thrown around, sure.

He was the one who told her to have a nice life. He was a fucking idiot.

His mother was jabbering about something and he’d missed it by thinking. “What?”

“I said, and please pay attention, I hate repeating myself. Make sure you go to the grocery and get yourself something to eat,” Maria said.

He agreed to do this and then hung up. He lied to his mom, just like he seemingly lied to everyone else. He wasn’t getting out of that fucking bed. Well, maybe he would get out of it. There was something he wanted to do. Something he wanted a permanent reminder of. He called up the tattoo shop that he’d had a consultation with weeks ago. Were they open? Sure. Did they have any openings today? Yes.

Ulquiorra got dressed. He padded slowly down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed one of those nasty shakes. He drank the thing, taking tiny sips of it. It didn’t take much for him to just toss the rest of it into the trash. The car started and Ulquiorra drove into the village. He told the artist what he wanted. Ninety minutes later he left with a new piercing and a tattoo.

  
  
Jesus fucking Christ. It hurt!

The piercing wasn’t that bad, he was used to that, but his neck was throbbing with pain. On the right side of his neck, where Nel had put the hickey, there was now a solid black X with jagged ends over the spot. Everytime he looked at it, he would remember what a bitch the teal-haired woman was.

He took a picture and posted it to Instagram, tagging the tattoo artist and the place where he got it before he went back to the beach house.

***

“So you’re going to help me prepare Thanksgiving, okay?” Jon asked as they got out of the car.

“Oh, of course. Who’s coming?” Orihime replied.

“Uh, a couple people from the shop, Steve, of course, um, my mom unless she’s decided to join her friends, Steve’s sister and… Uh, you.” Jon smiled at the redhead as he unlocked the door, letting her enter the house first. He actually parked inside the garage instead of just parking in the driveway. “If you go in and go right, you’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Okay,” she said. It felt weird being here without Ulquiorra. It was like she was at a museum of his life, but he wasn’t there. “What do you want me to do?”

Jon closed the garage door and then the inside door before he turned to her. “Well, go put your stuff in a room. There’s two guest rooms and--” Oh. well maybe he shouldn’t offer Ulquiorra’s room to her. Fuck it, he wasn’t here and it was clear he didn’t care about Orihime, or he wouldn’t have made her cry. “Or you can take Ulquiorra’s room. He’s not here to enjoy any of the stuff I worked hard to buy.” He gave her a small smile.

She wondered if it was weird that she would want to take Ulquiorra’s room, but she did. She had hoped they hadn’t washed the sheets since they had been there two days ago. “Okay, I’ll go take my stuff up,” she said softly.

She and Jon had only talked briefly in the car during the drive home. He was a tense driver, focusing on the road and muttering obscenities under his breath. She was glad to escape for a couple minutes, she thought, as she got to the upstairs hallway.

Her relief was short lived. As soon as she opened the door to his room she was consumed by a wave of grief. She laid down on then bed. It still smelled like him. It didn’t take long before she was curled up on it, jagged cries filtering through the closed door and down the stairs.

The older Cifer’s mouth turned down at the corners as he listened to the woman sobbing. He didn’t like meddling, but maybe if he had, this wouldn’t have happened. Ulquiorra would perhaps be rather normal if he had meddled. With a sigh, he dialed a number on his phone.

“What do you want?”

“Happy Thanksgiving Ulquiorra.”

“Okay, but what do you want?”

Jon was silent as he walked into the foyer where the stairs were. “Hear that?”

Ulquiorra was also silent. “Who is that?”

“That’s Orihime and right now she’s upstairs crying.” Jon waited for his son’s reaction.

“You--” Pause. Silence. “Ow, fucking--” Sigh.

“Yes? Are you okay?”

Huff. Jon knew his son was almost out of patience. “I am fine. I got my ear pierced again,” Ulquiorra replied.

Jon laughed. “Wonderful, maybe with all those holes it will help you hear better?”

“You’re not funny.”

“Neither are you. What happened? Why does she sound broken?”

“Ask her.”

“I’m asking you.”

His son hung up on him. It was fine. He was allowed to do that since Ulquiorra had his mother replace the phone. Putting the device on a table, Jon climbed the stairs all while cursing his child. This was probably hard for Orihime. He knocked on the door and waited.

Orihime heard the knock and tried to dial back the raw bloodlet of tears, waiting until she stopped screaming into the pillow and was only making pitiful ‘hoo’ noises every time she exhaled. Then she got up and answered the door.

“Hey, Kiddo, you okay?” Jon asked as the door slowly slid open.

She shook her head. “No. I’ll-- I’ll get it together by Thursday.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

She sniffed and nodded. “You were right. Nel was right.”

Oh. His mouth pulled into an even deeper frown. “Did you tell him it was over?”

“No. Nel spoke with me after I talked to you. She told me about how it was between them. She showed me evidence that he had never stopped carrying on with her while we were together. I told him what I learned and wanted him to explain himself and he threw everything back in my face. He thinks I’m a whore.” She choked on the last word and covered her mouth.

Jon gave Orihime a pat on the shoulder. He was at a loss on what to do. He wanted to go yell at Ulquiorra. At the same time, he felt like he was responsible for this. All those nights worrying about Ulquiorra and his girlfriend and whether or not their relationship would last had brought up bad memories for him concerning his relationship with his ex-wife. “You need to tell him that it’s over between you two. Ulquiorra needs to be told things like that. He’s rather dense when it comes to things like that.”

Orihime looked at Jon like he had taken her heart out of her chest. “I can’t-- He… he knows. He deleted every photo we had together on Instagram. He told me to have a good life. He ended it, not me.”

“Orihime, he’s probably hurting just like you are, but he will continue to pursue you unless you tell him,” Jon said. “Ulquiorra makes a lot of rash decisions. He’ll probably come to regret it later. Don’t you have a copy of those photos?”

“No,” she answered, but her mind was stuck on Jon’s first statement. Was he saying there was a chance Ulquiorra would come around and see what he had thrown away? She was quite sure she didn’t want to incinerate that possibility.

Jon nodded. “Well, take your time getting yourself together. We’re making pizza tonight.” With that, the man turned and walked down the hallway. As soon as he was on the first floor, he picked his phone up and texted his offspring.

{ You’re an asshole.

\- Thanks I know. I’m aware of that. Why don’t you look in the mirror though. You’re an asshole too.

Well then.

***

Orihime sat on Ulquiorra’s bed for a long time after Jon left. She felt lost. She needed someone to tell her what to do or kick her in the ass or something, or she didn’t think her pity-party would ever end. She knew just who to turn to.

Vega.Strife00

You were right, Nel. You were right about everything.

Gamuza333

I know. I’m sorry.

He made me out to be the bad guy.

I’m not that bad.

Vega.Strife00

It was like he was reading from a script.

It was bizarre.

He’s done with me now.

Gamuza333

Are you sure?

He’s dumb.

He might say shit

It’s like a kid throwing a fit

A toddler having a temper tantrum.

I saw his IG.

Vega.Strife00

Yeah. I no longer exist.

He told me I was a whore and to have a nice life.

I think that’s pretty final.

Gamuza333

He told you WHAT?

WHAT A PRICK.

Ugh.

Did you tell his dad?

Things with the Cifers don’t make sense. 

His dad has a vendetta against me but yet listened when I pointed out all of his kid’s problems.

Vega.Strife00

Yeah, I’ve noticed some inconsistencies.

I’m at his dad’s house now.

I couldn’t stay in that dorm room by myself.

I don’t have anybody else.

I doubt he told you anything substantial about me, since he didn’t really care about that sort of thing, but I’m an orphan and my only living relative cut me off after I quit being Aizen’s student, so… Jon Cifer it is for now.

Gamuza333

I’ll be over in a few minutes.

I have nail polish!

Orihime’s eyes went wide. This was more than she bargained for. Still… Jon was a comforting presence but not much of a talker. She needed to talk.

Vega.Strife00

Jon’s here… If you think it’s okay then see you soon.

“Nel! Ulq’s not here! Where are you going?” Jon’s voice could be heard from downstairs.

“Mr. Cifer, Orihime wants her nails painted! We need to talk. Ulq’s--”

“Fine! Fine; don’t make a mess!”

Within a few seconds, Nel could be heard running up the stairs. “NELLIEL, NO RUNNING!”

She just barged into Ulquiorra’s room. “Hi! I live next door,” Nel said.

Nel probably wasn’t prepared for the sight she saw when Orihime turned her face to hers. Usually Orihime was a very pretty young woman. That was not the case right now. Her eyes and lips were swollen and red, with almost an orange undertone, like a blister. Her cheeks were red and blotchy. There was snot clinging to the inner rims of her nostrils and dried tears on her cheeks. She looked rough, to put it nicely. “Hi,” she replied, sounding every bit like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. “I know you live next door.”

“Of course you knew that,” Nel said shutting the door and flopping down on the bed. “Shit, it’s been awhile since I’ve been in here. The weekend before school started. Anyway, I brought you a nude-pink color for your fingers and black for your toes.”

“Let’s go full on black, fuck it.”

Nel dug the bottle out of her pocket and motioned for Orihime to hold out her hand after she sat up. “So what happened?”

“Jon called me after he saw the Instagram picture and told me… I don’t know. Basically he said Ulquiorra was probably manipulating me. That he didn’t love me. That he was only infatuated with me. Then I talked to you. Then I stayed in the Comm until it closed, and when he texted me at one in the morning I told him about everything and waited for him to explain it. He didn’t. He said it was all my fault, basically. He conveniently sidestepped the fact that he cheated on me. He said it was my fault that we had sex; that I didn’t respect his boundaries, which is bullshit. He was basically a dog in heat. But that didn’t matter. I’m the whore, because I collect lingerie. He didn’t seem to mind my bad habit while we were together. In fact, he encouraged it. He supplemented it.”

The teal-haired female didn’t say anything as she laid down the first coat of polish on one hand. “Yeah, that sounds like Ulq. Contradictions and misplacing responsibility,” Nel said. “Like I said, he’s a huge kid. He has issues. Mommy issues. Abandonment things… what’s it called… anxiety--Separation anxiety!”

“Separation anxiety,” Orihime offered at the same time Nel said it. “Well not where I’m concerned he doesn’t. He was planning all along on going out to California without me even though he always told me he was taking me with him. He was going to finish the semester with me and then go. But that guy at Sado’s told him I was dead weight. His handler told him I was too much of a goodie-two-shoes. Ha! If he only knew. Anyway, he ditched me. He ditched me at the concert hall and he ditched me here. He didn’t even tell me he wasn’t coming back before he was leaving.”

“But he came back, didn’t he?”

“For the weekend. He came to my room with some plants, sobbing, before he left in October. He fooled me then. I should have ripped off the bandage. I knew. I knew he had chosen you. I knew there was nothing for me to hold onto. But then he showed up, crying and with plants and asking if we were done, and I…” She paused to sigh, grimacing and trying not to cry again. “I couldn’t do it. Even if he doesn’t love me, I love him so much.” She was not successful at keeping the tears at bay that time. She couldn’t even see what Nel was doing to her fingertips anymore.

“He gave you Strife and Vega?” Nel asked quietly, screwing the cap back on the bottle of polish. She wasn’t going to risk it spilling. “You saw him cry? Oh man.”

“Yeah? So?” she asked through whimpers.

Nel bit her bottom lip and then pulled at it with her fingers. “He loved those plants. He cared for them obsessively. I’ve never seen him cry. His father says he’s only seen Ulq cry a couple of times. It’s like… I don’t know. It’s like stumbling across a bottle of Clarins 230 in a thrift store. Rare as fuck.”

“I don’t know what that means. What’s a Claritin 230? Is it like the super powerful stuff?”

“Clarins 230. It’s called Unicorn Pee of the nail polish world. It’s great stuff. Several hundred dollars a bottle,” Nel replied. “I like nail polish and did Ulq’s nails all the time. You know, I could direct you to where he keeps his journals. He wrote a lot about you.”

Orihime didn’t think that would be right and shook her head. “I don’t want to give him more reasons to hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s quite smitten with you. He would talk about you all the time. He cried in front of you. In fourteen years, I’ve never seen that even when he got stung by bees,” Nel stated. “Foot.”

Orihime peeled her socks off using her big toes and lifted a foot toward Nel. “Why then? Why would he do this to me?”

Nel shrugged. “Okay that’s totally weird. And I don’t know. Everything that I know about Ulquiorra… He’s had sex with you. He told me he never would do that. He told me he would never fall in love; he did with you. I was too stupid at the time… I thought he loved me like that, like I told you. He has a chance to chase his dream and you gave him that encouragement. What else has he done that you wouldn’t expect out of him? He’s never taken a dick pic. He never showed his face or did a couples’ picture with anyone on Instagram. Think back to the youtube videos, he never talked before.”

“Did I make a terrible mistake?”

“I think you both did,” she replied. “Give him a couple weeks to calm down?”

Orihime frowned. “Why did you tell me to make him work for it then?” Even as she asked the question she knew the answer. She just didn’t have faith that Ulquiorra would rise to the challenge.

Nel’s eyes rolled. “He’s not very… very... mature. He’s still male and he’s stupid when it comes to people. Either you’re going to have to lay shit out to him or--” she held her hands out.

Orihime held up her other foot. “I’m not going to be his mother. I never got one either. At least his is still alive and paying for his little playground out in LA. If he can’t be a decent person, I’m not going to be the one who tries in vain to teach him. That’s not the job of a partner. That’s a parenting or self-improvement thing. I can barely keep myself together. I don’t know how anyone could expect me to keep us both afloat all on my own.”

Once Nel had the other foot done, she gave each foot a second coat of polish. “You’ve never met Maria. She’s a bitch. She had the audacity to call me a couple weeks ago and asked if I would leave school and be Ulquiorra’s groupie or something. It was a cold reception when I refused.”

“Good for you. Lots of people might have given that a go. I am apparently “not girlfriend material” for him, according to his mother.” Orihime shook her head. 

Nel raised an eyebrow. This chick had no clue. “Maria told me… She doesn’t like your wholesome smiling image. Ulquiorra looked too happy with you. Did you see his new Instagram post?”

“No, last thing I saw was he just deleted all evidence that we were ever together. And fuck you, Maria. God I wish there was tequila in this room. Sorry, nevermind. Sorry Nel.”

The other woman actually laughed at that. “It’s fine. I can’t stand alcohol anymore. I’m actually sober when I go to those parties… Well, sometimes,” Nel replied. “Okay let those dry. I’m going to be honest. I thought you were taller. I thought you were uglier. I thought you weren’t good enough for him. You are like this sweet, cupcake, bundle of joy in a short person.”

“Question, Nel. Why? At Tier’s party. What was your motivation?”

Oh. Hoo boy. Okay. “I expected you to ask something like that. Um, I thought I still wanted him. I thought I could make him love me,” she finally replied. “He’s too wrapped up in you.”

“Not that much, I saw the video,” she said, sounding dejected.

Nel pulled her phone out of her back pocket and tapped on it about seven times. She had Ulquiorra’s newest instagram photo on the screen. He was standing so that his profile was visible. His hair was brushed away from his face. Among the piercings in his ears, a new one was vividly red, along with something new. She handed the phone to Orihime.

“Is this supposed to change anything? He still did what he did,” she said, handing the phone back to her after looking at the black “X” inked onto his neck it the same spot as the hickey that Nel had given him at the party. “He wasn’t wrapped up in me then. He’s not wrapped up in me now. That tattoo is about you.”

The caption was what killed Nel. It had nothing to do with Nel. “Let me read you this. "I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned. I might have even fallen for you. I miss your sunset red hair. I fucked up but you don't care".”

How _dare_ he. “How dare he! I don’t care? _I don’t care?!_ Fuck it. Give me one of those journals.”

Nel knew this was coming. Her feet hit the floor and she crouched down to pull out a drawer. There were three of them on each side of the bed and they were full of all the precious stuff Ulquiorra held dear. “Oh, he’s added a journal,” she said as she pulled out four spiral bound notebooks, letting them fall onto the bed with a soft thwap. “I’ll let you read those in peace, I told my mom I wouldn’t be gone that long and I have to help cook. Ugh.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Nel. I needed this.”

“Anytime. I’ll be here until Sunday when Pesche takes me back.”

***

It was Sunday morning when Ulquiorra sat in Nanao’s car while she bitched at him. He sighed. He hated his birthday. It was a fucking terrible day. Yeah, his dad made it tolerable, but there was no Jon Cifer around this year and his mom didn’t even text him. Neither of his parents wished him a happy birthday.

“You need to let me know when you decide to just upload things! Do you know how many messages you get on a daily basis?”

“Nope. There’s only one message I’m waiting for, and I’m pretty fucking sure that Orihime is never going to send it,” he snapped back.

The woman with glasses just sighed. “Get inside that building and meet your fucking stylist. Okay? Call me when you’re done,” Nanao snapped. “This woman is really good at what she does, so don’t blow it. She doesn’t open her shop just for anyone.”

Ulquiorra slammed the door to the small car and stomped into the building. He wasn’t ready for the woman who was waiting for him. She looked just about dead inside as he felt.

“Mr. Cifer?” Oh, she sounded like she was dead inside too.

“Uh, Ulquiorra will be fine,” he said, letting the irritation melt off his face. “You are?”

“Nemu Kurotsuchi. I’m the owner of Twelfth Division,” she said, bowing slightly.

Great. Another fucking person with a Japanese name. She probably acted like Orihime, too. That wasn’t fair of him. He shouldn’t take his irritation at the situation out on everyone when he was the reason there were problems between him and the redhead. He was the one being a stubborn bitch about things. This could all be taken care of with a phone call or a text message.

“It’s nice to meet you. Are you the stylist?”

“I am. Hmmm,” this Nemu said. “Put your jacket over there.” A hand was waved toward a leather chair and Ulquiorra did as directed. He was good at following directions. “Let’s look at you. Your hair is in good condition, is it naturally black?”

Ulquiorra nodded. “Yeah, why would I dye my hair black?”

“Some people do, Mr. Cifer. It’s shiny and healthy. In the pics I was shown of you, you had longer hair. Did you get it cut?”

Again he nodded. “The salon I went to… the barber or whatever he was misunderstood my instructions and layered everything wrong.”

“The shorter hair is a good look for you. You don’t look nearly as feminine with it like this,” Nemu said before walking around him. “Skinny, almost too skinny. Are you eating? Proper nutrition? Sleeping? Water?”

“What the fuck are you? A stylist or a dietitian?”

“I’m an image and brand specialist. More than just a stylist. I’m knowledgeable with bodies. It’s my job. You work out, there’s muscle tone. Espada Records said they’d like for you to put forth this tortured soul mixed with a touch of what most would consider a bad boy image. The leather jacket helps you in that case. The piercings do too. This tattoo… Any significance?” Nemu asked.

Her voice was more monotone than his and she looked absolutely bored. Ulquiorra shrugged. “Maybe; maybe not.”

“Your mom said you weren’t very forthcoming.” He snorted. Nemu nodded as he eyed her. “I understand. Same. What’s your wardrobe?”

“T-shirts, jeans, I have several suits. I like being put together. I don’t like anything ripped or stained. I wear sweats or pajama pants when relaxing. I don’t really like tight fitting clothing but at the same time, I don’t like baggy clothing--”

“So, tailored is more your style.” Nemu nodded again then went silent. “What about shoes?”

“Boots or my sneakers. I’m not expecting absolute cleanliness but they have to be in good repair,” he answered.

The woman’s thin mouth drew to the side as she contemplated the information. “Hmmm, see, this is a hard thing to sell, because you’re wanting one look but the label wants something else. Where are you staying?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m going to need to see your wardrobe.” Nemu said it like it was completely normal.

“You mean like...” This time she sighed and blinked slowly at him. He didn’t really know what to say or do. “You want to come to my house and into my bedroom and rifle through my clothes?” Ulquiorra finally asked.

“Yes, unless you have pictures of all of your clothing or can bring it all to me. I need to tailor your style to what your label wants,” Nemu said.

Ulquiorra sighed. “I’m in Laguna Beach, right on the water. Fucked if there’s ever a tidal wave or tsunami.”

Nemu looked at him with a side-eyed glance. He scowled at her. “You’re at Maria’s party house? Generous.”

It took him fifteen more minutes to deal with this Nemu woman before he left. Nanao’s car was nowhere in sight. Right, he was supposed to text her when he was done. So he did that as he waited outside of the building. She returned the text, saying she’d be back in twenty minutes. Ugh. Ulquiorra went back inside where Nemu was sitting behind a desk. “Excuse me,” he said.

“There’s no public restroom here,” the black-haired woman said. He could hear her tip-tapping away at the keyboard on the laptop in front of her. “I only work by appointment.”

“Um, I was just in here?”

She turned her head almost robotically. “Oh, it’s you.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? “My assistant isn’t going to be here for twenty minutes. Can I take a seat and wait?”

Nemu nodded and watched him sit down. They both were quiet until Nanao arrived. It was nice just to sit in silence with someone. No expectations. Nothing needed to be said.

***

Orihime poured over his journals that Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday she had helped Jon prepare Thanksgiving dinner and was mostly quiet, letting Steve’s jabs at her failed relationship blow past her. Ulquiorra’s grandmother had come and was able to glean what had happened based on Steve’s words, and had given her hand a squeeze and offered her a fond “there, there,” before leaving.

The entire time, her mind was not at the table, it was lost in those journals. The things she had read kept appearing before her inner eye.

_I got a commenter and it's the same person. Vega.Strife00. Nel did everything she could to look the person up. It was like they appeared out of nowhere just to tell me how good I am or what I could improve on. I'm happy someone came out of the woodwork to tell me what I could do to reach higher._

_Another comment from them. The thought makes me smile when Nel isn't around. My dad asked me what made that elusive grin come up on my face. I'm not gonna tell him yet._

_So I started adding my IG link to my videos. I got notifications that a Vega.Strife00 went through and liked ALL of my posts. Dude. They messaged me. I blushed. It's stupid. I'm stupid. Such a dork._

_We talk a lot but Veggs has suddenly ghosted me. V comments but they seem generic? Good Job. Work on your pitch. They like my pics. No messages though. They're words on a screen. This shouldn't bother me this much._

_My dad and fucking Steve. The loser cheated on him and what does Dad do? Takes him back. Why? I heard their conversation they had the other night in their room. My dad says that they deserve each other. Bullshit. Nel tells me I'm being oversensitive with this Vega thing. She has her own life. Yeah, I think Vega is female. Nel found some pics of a Vega H but I'm not looking at them. I have this image in my head of Vega and I don't want to spoil it._

_Nel and I did things. I'm not interested in her but I went through with it. I've not been eating. I'm not hungry. I don't need food. The bare minimum will get me by. Vega still hasn't messaged me. FUCK. What did I do? Was I too much?_

_VEGA MESSAGED ME TODAY! Dad found out about my not eating. Went to the doctor. They threatened to put this thing into my nose and down into my stomach if I didn't start eating. I'm just not hungry. Okay, maybe I am hungry. A little. BUT VEGA! We talked for like fifteen minutes and then I had to get to school._

_Nel needs to stop this bullshit. I told her friends. She wants to keep doing this stuff. It's making me disgusted with everything dealing with sex. Maybe if I handle her roughly she'll get the hint. It takes me fucking forever to get off._

_Vega went silent again._

_Nel says we're dating. LOL._

_Vega's back. I'm sensing a pattern. Everytime I mention her, Nel gets bitchy. Oh well. You know I only like you/love you as a sister. There was no romance involved you teal-haired monster._

_Almost had sex with Nel. I can't do it. When I do manage to get hard, all I can think about is Vega. It's Vega giving me head. It's Vega... All the time it's Vega. I want to meet her. I can't cross that line though. I don't want to because what if... What if she doesn't like me?_

_Decided that I'd go to school for science shit to make my mom happy. Picked a decent school. Nel's fucking going to the same school for some graphic design bullshit. I am pissed off. I picked up two plants today and out of spite I named them Vega and Strife. That orchid is a pain in the ass and that bonsai is too. Oh well. They’re mine and I’m going to take care of them._

_Haven't written. Nel totaled her car while drunk. The catch? I was in the fucking front seat with her when she ran into the tree. She could have killed us. Dad says no more. My time around her is to be limited and I'm not allowed to go anywhere with her. Good. We made out in my car behind the coffee shop._

_The truth finally came out to Nel. She got upset and I... I apologized like a dumbass because she looked so lost. What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck? Why do I need her? Why? Because she's always been there? Because I know I can count on her? I don't love her. The only person that goes through my head because we've been messaging more is Vega. Veggs._

_OMG. I know who she is! I kissed her. I felt her. OMG. I'm going to fall in love with her. I want to. She's--Vega is perfect. She's cute and cuddly and she has a bit of an ass that I can grab onto--shit. I'm hard. Okay. Jerk off then finish this._

_She's all I think about. Like I'm surrounded by women and men alike that want me. Do I care? Fuck no. I don't find anyone else attractive. I want her. Physically and emotionally, she's all I want. Dammit Vega, what did you do to me? But I still feel that pull towards Nel and I just want her to go away. Find someone else. Stop messaging me Nel because you know I’m going to reply. I love Orihime._

All of the messages had given her mixed feelings, especially the last one. She loved him. She loved some of the things he had written but the overarching theme that she had always overlooked with him was now standing out in stark focus: He never accepted responsibility for his own feelings or actions. He shifted blame constantly. He couldn’t let go of Nel.

After the dishes had been done and the food was put away, Jon offered Orihime the use of the music room. She had had three days to digest everything that Ulquiorra and everyone else had said to her, including his Instagram post. She had an idea. “Do you mind if I use it a lot? I want to record something.”  
  


Jon had nodded. She was glad she brought her laptop. She was doubly glad that Steve got called in to work on Friday and Jon respected her need for quiet.

She started with guitar. Two different tracks, one more rhythmic and one more picking. It took her a long time to get right. Next she did piano and vocals. It didn’t work. The microphone she was using wasn’t a professional microphone; the piano drowned her voice out. She had to do them separately in the end. Then she did percussion tracks; stock sound files of crash cymbals, shaking a jar of pennies, the sound of a fork against a wine glass, and her hand trumping against the closed cover of the piano.

Finally she redid the vocals.

_This is a song about somebody else_

_So don’t worry yourself, worry yourself_

_The devil’s right there, right there in the details_

_And you don’t wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself_

_By looking too closely_

_Looking too closely_

_No no no no!_

_Put your arms around somebody else_

_Don’t punish yourself, punish yourself_

_Truth is like blood underneath your fingernails_

_And you don’t wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself_

_Looking too closely..._

She spent the night and the next day editing the tracks together. She was being a bit of a perfectionist. She had also recorded video of her playing each of the instruments, as well as her playing the piano and singing the first time around, and when she was finished with the audio track, she pieced together a video montage of the different elements. She was pretty proud of herself when it was finished on Sunday morning. Exhausted, but proud. The video itself wasn’t especially perfect; the transitions were sometimes a little awkward, but she got the timing of the music and the actions right and that was what she was focused on. She decided to wait until she got back to her dorm to upload it. 

Before she packed up her bag to go back to OSU, she styled her hair and then sat on the bathroom counter next to Ulquiorra’s room and took a picture of the back of her head, looking down on her “sunset red” hair and the bottom of her jean-clad butt. The drive back to school was much like the drive there, only there was not as many silent tears on Orihime’s part and more near-silent grumbles about traffic on Jon’s. 

When they arrived at school, she got out and gave Jon a long hug and a kiss on the cheek with a promise to try to focus on school, and a tentative agreement that in two weeks he would be back to help her pack up her dorm room and move her in with him and Steve to work in the bakery and coffee shop until she got her feet back on the ground. Jon had explained, that regardless of her protests that she should be self-sufficient, he was responsible for his son’s behavior and he would take care of her, provided she took care of herself and worked hard. He had no doubt that she would. She reluctantly agreed.

When she got up to her room, she immediately started uploading the video she had put together. It took a bit of time, and while it did its thing, she decided on an Instagram story. It was one she would keep up for a day or two and then let it expire. She used the photo she had taken in Ulquiorra’s bathroom, with the following caption:

_Today’s your birthday. Now you can keep the sunset red on your phone, if you want. Swipe up for more._

She hadn’t added any tags or keywords. This was for him and him alone. She was sure it would get some attention anyway. There was nothing she could do about that. The swipe-up function linked to the YouTube video that she had just finished publishing. She just hoped he would see it.


	6. Not Getting It

Ulquiorra was a mess when Nemu showed up on Monday. He saw Orihime’s video. He’d been listening to it for hours. It played on a loop through the house’s stereo system through his laptop. Great thinking for having a smart home, Mom, he thought to himself as he laid on his bed. 

This wasn’t a song about someone else. This was about him. This was about her. This was about them and she was just fucking throwing it into his face. What did she want from him? Okay, he cheated on her. Okay, he fucked up. Okay, he had gotten scared and done things all wrong. He was only human. 

Did she figure out that he wasn’t eating again? Is that what she was trying to say by singing about hurting and punishing himself? She was in his bathroom. Had she used his instruments to record this song? He took a screenshot of the photo.

When Nemu walked into the room, Ulquiorra didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. He looked like shit. The stylist or whatever she was sat in the armchair and played on her phone while he occasionally wiped tears from his eyes. Two hours later she left and they had done nothing but listened to that song in silence. Tuesday rolled around and Ulquiorra finally stopped the song.

He liked the photo. He liked the video. He left a comment.

_ Obscuras IV: _

Great job. Hope you didn’t damage my piano too badly.

After all that he went back to Instagram and sent Orihime a message.

ObscurasIV

Thank you for the birthday gift.

That’s what that was, right?

When Orihime got the notification that he had commented on the video, she felt nauseated. When she read it, she felt even worse. All he had to say was that he was worried about the piano? Fine. Sorry she did any of it, she changed the video’s setting to private. No video, no problem. She took down the Instagram story. Obviously he had seen it. Based on his YouTube comment, she interpreted his Instagram message to be biting and sarcastic. She didn’t know what to say. Finally she just wrote,

Vega.Strife00

Sorry I won’t use it anymore. 

That afternoon Orihime had a small piano studio recital for all the people who took high-intermediate lessons under her piano professor. The recital was her final exam for that class. She played her piece well. She got an A. It made her smile a little. Then she went back to her dorm to finish up the last of her general education class final projects and start studying for exams. She had lost a lot of time while she was at the Cifer residence and she had rehearsals with Ichigo tomorrow, so the time to do homework was now.

It was when Tatsuki came back that evening that she found out her privatization was in vain.

“Hey, roomie, you’re famous!”

“What?”

Tatsuki was one smirk away from having her face smacked, Orihime thought. Ever since the thing with Ulquiorra cheating on her, Orihime’s relationship with her roommate had soured. Tatsuki had judged her harshly for forgiving her now ex-boyfriend, and she seemed to be gloating now that they were officially broken up. The athletic girl walked over to her computer and pulled up a website, then turned the monitor to face the redhead.

It was that It’sRan! vlog again.

Orihime groaned as the blonde played a clip of her now private video, then spoke over it and showed an image of her deleted Instagram photo and Ulquiorra’s post calling her out, but then… Wait -- yes, it was. This vlogger had screenshots of a lot of the photos that Ulquiorra had deleted from his Instagram. She nearly gasped as she picked up her phone and looked up the vlogger’s website, taking screenshot after screenshot of the pictures that appeared on the screen. She could cry over them later. Right now she was just relieved to have them back, and for a moment or two, she could sympathize with her roommate for thinking she was pathetic and weak. She was.

***

Nemu came back on Friday. Ulquiorra was sitting on the couch and staring at his laptop with a hateful look in his eyes. This bitch. This fucking blonde vlogging bitch had the fucking nerve to put up all those posts and stories he had deleted. There were tears welling in his eyes. 

“Another bad day?” Nemu asked as she sat down. “Oh, Rangiku. She’s a talkative one, isn’t she?”

Ulquiorra scoffed. “Why are you here? I don’t feel like being around anyone.”

“Maria wants to get your look and image together so the album can be recorded and sent out by June. That’s six months, roughly. Seven, if you count the rest of this month,” she said. “I know you’re hurting--”

“I am not hurting. I’m pissed off.”

“It’s the same thing all around, Mr. Cifer.”

He opened his mouth and then shut it. He was glad he had downloaded Orihime’s song. He kept it playing at night along with the other songs she had done for him. “I didn’t try hard enough. I couldn’t allow myself to be fully happy. I always held something back because of my former best friend.”

“You should talk to someone.”

An eyebrow was raised. “I’m talking to you,” Ulquiorra said.

Nemu nodded. “I’m not licensed to give you advice. What I am is a registered dietician and certified image consultant. I cultivate brands and looks for companies and celebrities. I’m not a shrink nor am I a therapist. I don’t care about other people’s problems.”

“Hmph.”

“I took a look around before I left the last time. Have you been eating? There’s no food here, and what is in the refrigerator is practically rotten. The milk is spoiled. However, you do have some high calorie shakes in your cupboards. You’re dealing with something. Stand up.”

Ulquiorra didn’t argue with Nemu. She didn’t look amused. She didn’t seem pleased. As soon as he stood up, she pulled his t-shirt up. He had to fight with her to yank it back down. “What the hell?”

Nemu’s face looked blank. “You don’t eat. Your mother warned me that you had problems,” she said. “This might be good for the image, but you can seriously screw yourself up. Come on, let’s get this done.”

It took them four hours to go through his closet and move everything to the master closet. That was the closet he was going to have Orihime use for her gowns and lingerie. Nemu told him to move everything back once they were together again.

  
  
“What does that mean?”

“C’mon, you’re not dumb. Everyone talks about what's happened between Vega and Obscuras. You were together. You got caught with someone else. You posted a photo of you two with the hashtag first love? Sounds like you were trying to kiss and make up.” Damn. When Nemu wanted to kill someone, she just went for the fucking throat.

Ulquiorra sighed. “Okay.”

“That’s all you’re going to say? Should I tell your mother that you’re not eating?” She asked.

He shook his head and sat on his bed. “I’ll eat. I’ll go to the store. I’ll have something delivered.”

Nemu left after that and Ulquiorra stayed on his bed. He fished his phone out of his pocket and tapped on his Instagram app. He pulled up Orihime’s messages. She never answered him.

ObscurasIV

I see how it is. Maybe I should delete the video I made for your birthday.

She happened to be on Instagram at the time. Nope, not today, Satan. He could take his childish reaction and stick it.

Vega.Strife00

It’s not deleted. 

It’s private. 

You were upset about piano abuse. 

If you want to delete your video it’s your choice.

You deleted all the other evidence that we were ever together though; you may as well finish the sweep.

She didn’t care if he deleted it. She already had a copy saved on both her phone and her computer. Besides, she had a show to get ready for. Her performance was from eight to nine-thirty, and it was a formal event so there was a lot to do to get ready.

ObscurasIV

I was joking. Jesus.

I was mad. You said we were done.

I still have the pics on my phone and it’s not like it matters.

That bitch on Youtube showed everyone the pics.

Do you want me to delete all the videos that you’ve commented on or liked?

I can erase myself from the internet. No biggie.

Ulquiorra had a scowl on his face as he sent the message. She had told him that he had cheated on her. She had thrown all these other things at him. To him, she had told them they were done.

Ha! He was so dramatic. And ridiculous. She had not, in fact, said they were done. She had just told his father the week before that it wasn’t something she had done. It seemed like Ulquiorra heard whatever he wanted to hear.

Vega.Strife00 

I don’t think your label would look too kindly on losing your audience before you release your album.

I have a show

ObscurasIV

Fuck the label.

Fuck an album.

Fuck everything.

What do you want from me? I know what I would like from you.

Your Gala is tonight? Good luck. I hope you do great.

That was basically all he could offer her right now.

She wished she hadn’t read his response. It hurt her to know he was this angry at her. Again, his good luck wishes sounded to her like sarcasm. It was taking a toll on her confidence. She needed to set aside her ex’s issues for the night and focus on her task. That meant getting in the shower and getting her updo sorted. She ended up buying a used winter bridal gown that was a very pale, shimmery gray with a thin metallic gold belt. It had a wide boat neck, full length sleeves, a lace overlay on top, and a short satin train on the bottom. It was very evocative of a snow queen, to her mind anyway. She wanted to do some little braids and things in her sweeping hair style, and it was going to take some time to do.

Ichigo came to pick her up about two hours later and she still wasn’t ready to go. He sat on her bed, staring at his phone’s clock and jittering with one leg. “Come on, Orihime. We gotta go. You look fine.”

“Fine is not good enough. I have to slay it. My pride as a woman is on the line. I stand for jilted lovers everywhere,” she said dramatically for comedic effect as she finished putting on her makeup. Her dress still hung on a hanger behind her door.

“You’re gay, right Ichigo?” she asked as she started unbuttoning her shirt.

“No,” he answered, an amused grin growing on his face as he watched her clutch the sides of the shirt opening back together.

“What?! But you—“

“I swing both ways, babe. Next time ask a guy to turn around, eh?”

She scoffed. “Get out before I hurt you!”

Ichigo chuckled like a naughty child as he walked his tuxedoed ass out of her room and stood in the hallway. “It’s not my fault you jumped to conclusions,” he called through the door, smiling at girls giving him appreciative glances in the hall.

“Whatever, Ivanhoe,” she growled back. Once she was in the dress, she needed help. She opened the door and turned her back to him. “Do you mind helping with the zipper?”

***

The show was a success. They played and sang waltzes and some reworked modern music. She saw people recording with cell phones. She twitched her brow only slightly when she saw that Michelle girl and creepy Ishida among the attendees. Of course, Michelle had her phone out.

After the show was finished, they took a bow, and Orihime went to sit down at one of the tables scattered throughout the room. She took out her phone and opened Instagram.

Indeed, there she was. All over the place, she was tagged in photos. Ugh. Some people tagged Obscuras IV, too. Ugh. One of those was a still of her and Ivan standing side by side and smiling in the same direction off camera, _#movingon?_. She was certain she’d get another biting comment. She decided to answer Ulquiorra before that happened.

Vega.Strife00

The show was fine.

What do you want from me?

I want what you aren’t willing to give.

ObscurasIV

You two look great together. 

You two sounded great.

Nice job.

Ulquiorra didn’t know why people were tagging him. Okay, Orihime was allowed to move on. It didn’t bother him that much. He’d be a liar too.

Vega.Strife00

JFC. Not this again. Dude. IVANHOE.

It’s not even funny.

She was really fucking sick of this. Ulquiorra got his panties bunches up if she so much as breathed in the direction of another male, but he gets to third base with his ex while they were together and she’s the bad guy? Fuck. That.

He was confused. He’d done nothing but genuinely complimented her and told her good luck. Orihime had her claws out, ready to attack. What the hell?

Obscuras

Where are you?

Can I call?

Obviously you’re misreading something.

She knew this was probably a bad idea. But what the hell, her batting average was in the toilet anyway.

Vega.Strife00

I’m at the venue sitting down. 

It’s noisy and I can’t go far because I need a lift back.

But if you want to try, I’m not doing anything.

A sigh left him. Of course she was somewhere busy. He shook his head.

ObscurasIV

Later? When you’re back at your room? Maybe?

You really do look beautiful. You and Ivan compliment each other well.

I like the whole snow angel vibe you’ve got going on.

Wait a second… Was he trying to flirt with her? That was, what’s the word? Oh yeah, inappropriate. Especially in light of the fact that he was pawning her off on Ivan again in the same string of messages.

Vega.Strife00

I don’t want to hear I look good with someone else from you.

ObscurasIV

Fine, you look fucking terrible with him.

You only look beautiful by yourself.

He’s a fucking troll.

That what you want to hear?

Ulquiorra wanted to fucking throw his phone. Why did she have to be difficult?

Ichigo tracked Orihime down a few minutes later to bring her back to Albertson and dropped her on the curb with a warning not to stay up late because of their early start for the wedding the next day.

Once she got into her room, she got out of the gown and washed her face and brushed her teeth and sat at her desk as she started to remove bobby pins from her hair. This was going to be a long process. She put on a favorite pair of pajamas and finally responded to Ulquiorra.

Vega.Strife00 

I’m home now.

I don’t care what you say about him. Call him a bad pianist for all I care.

He called. Ulquiorra closed his eyes and hoped this wouldn’t turn into a shit show.

“What’s up?” She answered on the first ring and put him on speaker so she could continue taking her hair down. Ulquiorra wasn’t one to wait around when he had something to say so she had anticipated a quick response.

No hey. No hello. No friendly greeting. He got a "what’s up"? How the mighty had fallen. He’d figuratively been struggling to stand up and she just knocked him back down. “Hey,” he said in a soft voice.

“Hi,” she replied, not sure where he was going. His voice on the phone did not match his voice in her mind when she read his messages.

“I think you mistook my message earlier. There was no malice or anything. I wished you good luck. I said that you looked beautiful and you sounded great. All I got back was--” Ulquiorra stopped. He didn’t want to say the word bitchiness. He deserved it. “I wasn’t trying to be a dick, Orihime.”

“Okay. I’m sorry I misunderstood,” she replied. “Um, thanks. Are things, um, going well so far?” She cringed at herself. This was a terrible idea. Why did she think this would be anything but painful? Yeah, right now, in the moment, she was going through pleasantries and friendly canned conversation, but later she would agonize over every detail of this interaction, and she knew it.

Ulquiorra sighed. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Well, he knew why. He wanted Orihime back in his life. “They’re going. I have an image consultant or whatever the hell she is,” he said. “They want the album out by June. I can barely function as it is, so I don’t know how I’m going to manage.”

“Well, I’m sure your label has plenty of other consultants and specialists and whatever record companies have at their disposal, so you won’t have to do it alone. They are pros; they know what they are doing. You just be you and you’ll be fine.” What the fuck was she even saying? Why was she babying him? Why was she having this conversation? Oh well. Whatever. It was nice to know the details regardless.

“How are you managing?” He asked. Ulquiorra took a deep breath. “You were at my Dad’s this weekend?”

“Almost all of last week. It was nice, but I felt like he didn’t know what to do with me. Your grandma missed you. I managed to ignore Steve,” she answered, avoiding the question of how she was managing. She didn’t know how to answer and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. She worried that if she showed him her vulnerability he would exploit it. And she was vulnerable. She missed him terribly.

He cleared his throat, trying to dispel some of the awkwardness he felt. He wasn’t going to call her out on not answering the question. Ulquiorra couldn’t help remember the last time he was in his room with her, though. They had sex in his bed… Several times. “Did you stay in the guest room? Steve has told me the bed in there is comfortable. Gran will get over it. I’ll probably be back for Christmas and ignoring Steve is good.” He desperately wanted to ask why she was there.

“Oh, so you made up with your dad?” She asked, then was quiet. She was going to be there for Christmas, too. Oh well, worry about that when the time comes. “Ouch!” she hissed after a short pause; she had snagged some hair in a bobby-pin.

“Uh, not exactly but—are you okay?” He asked, concerned about her declaration of pain.

“Ah, I just pulled my hair; I have about a hundred bobby-pins in it to keep it up. The price of beauty, right?” she laughed awkwardly.

Ulquiorra shook his head. “I guess. Even barefaced you are pretty.”

Orihime took a deep breath. What were they doing? “Um, thank you. I think you are pretty, too, but that’s not why you called, right?”

He chuckled. “Uh, no. I called to explain my messages to you.” Ulquiorra said.

“Well, um, well? I mean I get that you didn’t mean to be sarcastic.”

Oh, she didn’t want to talk to him. Okay… Shit, that hurt. “Sorry, of course it’s probably late there. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”

She sighed. “Wait, Ulquiorra. I’m glad to hear your voice and, um,” she sighed again. “This is confusing.”

“I am glad that you’re giving me a chance to talk to you, Orihime,” he replied. Ulquiorra rubbed his eyes and was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, this is.”

It hurt more than it was confusing though.

“Well, got anything exciting going on tomorrow?” She wanted to bring the conversation to a close less awkwardly than the track it was on.

“No. You know, you don’t have to talk to me. In all reality, you should block my number and never speak to me again. I hurt you, after all. I did you wrong.”

Oh. That was a lot more painful than the bobby-pin. “If that’s what you want.”

Ulquiorra was kind of stumped. He didn’t know what to say to that. “I’ll leave that up to you,” he finally said in a quiet voice. “I don’t get to dictate this.”

There it was again. He said something and refused to take responsibility for it. She should not be surprised. She should not be disappointed. She still was, though. She wanted to think the best of him. She wanted to believe the best in him. Maybe it wasn’t fair, but she still believed in her standards. They weren’t that high. “Well, I have a wedding in the morning so I better go. Good night, Ulquiorra.”

“Wait, please. I don’t want you to do that, though, Orihime. But…” he trailed off. “Goodnight. Good luck at the wedding.”

“Thanks. I… I’m not going to do anything like that.” She said softly. Not yet, anyway.

He didn’t hang up the phone. Ulquiorra sat there and listened to her being quiet. He appreciated this, even if he didn’t deserve it.

She left the phone on her desk, still on speaker, as she finished taking her hair down. She didn’t say anything. She wondered if he had hung up or fallen asleep. She didn’t want to stop taking her hair down; her arms were getting tired and her mind was getting tired and she wanted to get some sleep. When she finally finished ten minutes later, she picked her phone up.

It was comforting to hear her doing everyday things. It reminded him of when he would watch her doing things like homework or singing. Then Ulquiorra heard the phone moving. “I’m still here,” he said.

“Ooh!” she yelped in surprise, bobbling the phone, nearly dropping it. She put the phone to her ear after she had steadied it in her hands. “Did you fall asleep or something?”

“No; I’ve been listening to you.”

“Um, like ASMR?” She had no idea what could be so interesting.

Ulquiorra furrowed his brow. “No…” he said. How could he explain this?

“What?” she finally asked after waiting for him to continue.

“It makes me miss you; hearing your voice and just now. I know you were busy with you hair and—I thought we were okay. Our issues were going to be dealt with face to face when you got here.” Ulquiorra had to pause to keep his voice calm. “Sorry.”

She sighed. When she spoke, it was with regret in her voice. “And then what would we have done? We would have had the same issues and the same arguments. Only then I would know no one. Where would I go when you decided you didn’t want to deal with me? This was going to happen one way or another. In the end, you think I’m a whore and I can’t be happy knowing you cheated on me and see nothing wrong with it.”

Ulquiorra knew he should have never implied that. “I don’t think you’re a whore. I know I cheated on you. I can’t do anything to change that. I have to live with it. There are some days I hate myself for it. I am sorry.”

“You said it. You thought it. And I can even believe that you’re sorry, some days. But what about the other days? Nel has your loyalty. She always has, as previously evidenced.” She sighed in a resigned way. He thought he was the only one who had to live with his actions? He only hated what he did _some days_? There was no use talking to him about it if that's how he felt. “I don’t want to rehash our argument tonight. I have an early start tomorrow. Maybe another day.”

But she was wrong! Nel never had his loyalty! Ulquiorra opened his mouth to refute her claims but nothing came out. “Of course. You told me you had to get to bed and I’m being insensitive to your needs. Goodnight.”

Still, he didn’t hang up.

“Okay. Maybe after exams we can talk again. Give us both a chance to think things through?”

“Okay, I’m here if you ever need me.”

She shook her head and smirked but resisted the bitter laugh that rose in her throat. “Yeah. Goodnight, Ulquiorra.” 

***

The wedding was fine. Ichigo wore the same tux as the night before, but Orihime couldn’t compete with the bride, so she wore an emerald green off-the-shoulder satin gown. It was very seasonal, color-wise. They sang and played in a church, all very classical stuff, then they played an early cocktail reception, all very classy lounge stuff. Again, there were whispers. People came up to Orihime between venues and asked her about Obscuras IV. Some people asked for her autograph. A few told her they loved Vega.Strife00’s covers. They asked if she and Ichigo were a couple now.

Both of them wrinkled their noses at the idea. “No,” came the firm answer from one or the other.

On their mid-set break Orihime pulled up Instagram. Videos and pictures of her dressed as she was right now were popping up in her notifications. This was weird. This was really, really weird. She was nobody. She was some YouTuber’s ex-girlfriend. They hadn’t even been together that long. Why would these people from the suburbs of Columbus even know who she was?

Still, they did.

She was quiet as they packed up her car to return to school that evening. She was quiet as she drove.

“Hey, Orihime?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. After exams, Ulquiorra’s dad is going to pick me up and bring me back to his house. I’m going to work for him in his coffee shop or bakery or something until I figure out my next move.”

“I’m going to miss you. Maybe you can come back and play a few shows once in awhile? I think it’s a waste of talent and momentum for you to drop out of the limelight and just be a barista. You need to keep performing.”

Orihime smiled. “Yeah, if I can get off of work I wouldn’t mind coming back to play once in awhile. And I don’t plan on not performing anymore. I’ll play at the coffee shop. Maybe I can start a Weezer cover band.”

Ichigo laughed. “Oh please. You can do better than that. Please at least don’t stop recording. Your cover of Looking Too Closely was amazing. You should make that public again. If you keep putting out stuff like that you’ll gain a following.”

Orihime sighed, flicking the lever to turn on her directional lights. “I don’t want to seem like I’m riding his coattails though, you know?”

“Screw that. He’s not even posting anything anymore. You have to do what’s right for you.”

“I’ll think about it,” was all she could say.

***

“We live in the Dead Sea, wrapped in sorrow. This is—“

“This is fucking lame,” Nanao said as she sat on the couch in the studio while Ulquiorra decided to record something. She flipped through a magazine she had brought to the beach house. “This song doesn’t suit your voice and I’m tired of hearing you whine about your failed relationship. Get over it.”

Ulquiorra scowled at the woman. It didn’t bother her at all. “You’re a bitch,” he grumbled. “Fine, here.” 

A notebook sailed across the room and landed in Nanao’s lap. She gave it a dirty look before raising her eyebrow and looking at him. “All this has is a list of songs,” she said.

“It’s my upcoming roster of songs,” Ulquiorra replied as he set the acoustic guitar on it’s stand. “It’s not a failed relationship. We’ve--”

Nanao sighed loudly. “Are you an idiot? I’ve read your Instagram messages. You cheated on her. Move on, she clearly has.”

“She doesn’t even like Ivan!”

A low whistle left Nanao. “Denial much? Give me a pen, I want to make notes.”

Ulquiorra winged the pen in her direction, which thunked off of the window and fell onto the fabric surface on the couch. “Start a new page because if you write on the page it’ll set off my OCD and I don’t feel like copying down all those songs again.”

  
The assistant looked at him and then carefully tore a sheet of paper from the notebook, making sure it’s edges were clean. “Okay, starting at the top of the list, Adele’s Hello? No. You don’t have the balls for it or the voice. Alanis Morissette? Ugh. You whine enough.”

“Are you seriously going to fucking go through all those songs and roast me?”

Her head bobbed up and down. “So, what’s with you and Nemu?”

“Huh?”

Nanao made some comments on the paper. “Nemu, your image consultant? She pegs most people in one visit. She keeps calling me to set up appointments.”

Ulquiorra scowled. “Nothing is going on between us. She sat with me the day after Orihime said she couldn’t live with what I did.”

“You did fuck her over.”

“The peanut gallery can shut the hell up.” Ulquiorra ran his hands through his hair while Nanao made her snarky ass comments and wrote stuff down. Eventually he picked his phone up and tapped out a text to Orihime.

\- Again you looked wonderful. You sounded great. That’s not sarcasm or malice. Good luck on your exams.

***

Orihime was still driving when the text through. “Can you check that?” she asked her passenger.

Ichigo reached forward for the phone in her cup holder and picked it up. “It’s from Oliver. Want me to read it?” 

“Sure, my passcode is 0903.”

“Wow, I didn’t expect you to just tell me, but okay,” Ichigo mumbled as he unlocked her phone. Then he cleared his throat. “Okay, it says, again you looked wonderful, you sounded great, that’s not sarcasm or malice, good luck on your exams. That’s it.”

“Oh, okay,” Orihime said.

“Oh, okay?” he echoed.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, I mean, apart from the sarcasm bit it sounds like he’s trying to get on your good side.”

“I think he is. I just don’t know how badly he wants it. I mean, what would you do if you were me?”

“Hime, sweetie, no. I would never touch that emo dweeb.”

Orihime rolled her eyes. “That’s  _ not _ what I meant.”

“Oh. Um, I don’t know. I can’t tell you what to do. All I know is what I saw and that was a guy who acted like you were the only girl in the world turn around and pull a one-eighty over the course of a couple days. I don’t get it.”

“Yeah, me either,” she said as she pulled into her parking spot. “Good luck with your exams, Ichigo. If I don’t see you before I leave, um, take care.”

Ichigo turned to look at her and then gave her a minimal-contact hug. “I’ll be in touch. Don’t be a stranger, ‘kay?”

Orihime smiled and nodded and watched the carrot-top walk away before tapping out a response to Ulquiorra.

\- Thanks. I’m going to need it. In hindsight, two gigs the weekend before exams was not a great idea.

***

Ulquiorra laughed which made Nanao look at him. He scowled at her and turned to face the recording room’s windows. 

\- You probably needed the distraction. Don’t be so hard on yourself and take a deep breath. I’ll call you on the 15th, if that’s okay? I don’t want to step on toes or cross a boundary. 

Orihime was entering the lobby of Albertson when his reply came. 

\- Yeah, that should work. Let’s both work hard, okay?

That put a smile on his face and he shook his head in a fond way.

\- Well Nan is roasting my ass about my song selection… so I need to find some burn cream. You’ll do great. <3

Fuck. He shouldn’t have sent the heart.

\- :)

She didn’t want to lead him on in case everything went to shit, but he had earned a smile, so she sent it.

Ulquiorra would have replied back but his pen and then the notebook hit the back of his head. “OW!” he stated and turned around.

“There’s about eight songs on that page that you might be able to pull off,” Nanao said and stood. She looked at her watch. “I’ve got to go. I’ll text your schedule for tomorrow later.”

He looked over the notes she had written after Nanao had left. He scoffed at each of her choices. Throwing the notebook on the soundboard, Ulquiorra looked at his phone. Maybe he should ask Orihime.

ObscurasIV

Veggs, I need help.

Doing it this way bc you’ve been the one to help me musically.

Pick a number between 1 and 10. 

  
  


Orihime was absolutely confused. It triggered an immediate reaction.

Vega.Strife00

I am happy to help but you gotta tell me what this is about. 

Picking numbers at random is a terrible strategy for musicians.

ObscurasIV

Uh my next youtube song?

Ulquiorra had no fucking clue what he was doing. Talking to Vega about music was a neutral ground. He could put Orihime and his situation in a safe place for a moment and forget about it. Vega was his friend.

Vega.Strife00

Oh, okay, so you have a list and I’m picking a number, huh?

Well, in that case, um, 6

He counted down the list and scowled. Of course she would pick a song called “ _ Heartbeats _ ”.

ObscurasIV

Thanks. Sometimes you’re a lifesaver.

He looked up the lyrics and the music for it. It wouldn’t be too hard.

***

Orihime had her Speech and Interpersonal Communications finals on Monday. They drained her. She was glad to have only her two music theory courses, English, and a choral concert left. The following day was her English exam, and Wednesday was written music theory and her concert, then her last exam on Thursday was aural music theory. The only one she was worried about was English. She was passionate about music and had absorbed her theory lessons with a vigorous appetite.

She hadn’t responded to Ulquiorra’s last message on Instagram, but she did take Ichigo’s advice and quietly made her birthday video to him public again. She didn’t mention it. But after her English exam on Tuesday, she was worn out and decided to let him have it a bit. He had it coming anyway.

Vega.Strife00

I thought you might like to know that the Speech, Int Comm and English finals are over

And I am slightly miffed that I had to finish these classes solo

Speech and Int Comm finals were cakewalks

English was… Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Fuck it, it’s over. If you were still here you’d be hearing my bitching in stereo and on extended play.

He was laying on the couch, watching television when the text came in. He was in a mood which he couldn’t put his finger on. Ulquiorra just decided to go with what his brain was telling him.

ObscurasIV

You know I wouldn’t be listening to anything but you moaning my name if it was that hard.

Sorry. That wasn’t right.

I wish I could have been there for it.

Orihime didn’t respond. That was just… she didn’t know what the fuck that was. But as his dad liked to say, not her monkey, not her circus. 

She had a rehearsal for her chamber choir that afternoon and was hanging out in the lobby of the Fine Arts building afterward doing a little theory review when Hailey sat down beside her. 

“Hey, I need your help.”

“Oh? What is it?” Orihime asked, turning in her seat to face the taller woman.

“The complaint. We need more signatures. I had a lawyer look at it and she said the more the better. Also if you wouldn’t mind giving a statement and signing an Affidavit…”

Orihime’s stomach dropped. This was not what she needed right now. But then she looked at Hailey’s expression. She remembered what they had talked about at Tier’s house. What the other girls had talked about. “Yeah, give the lawyer my number,” she found herself saying.

Later that evening she found herself in bed, panicking. She could barely breathe. Why was this so scary? She was leaving OSU. He couldn’t touch her.

Still.

She needed to talk to someone.

Vega.Strife00

I’m sorry to disturb you but I can’t talk to anyone else about this.

I’ve agreed to enter the complaint against Aizen.

I am freaking out.

Am I overreacting?

Ulquiorra wanted to scoff at the message, especially since she had ignored his previous messages.

ObscurasIV

Yeah, I’m all ears. I told you if you needed to talk or something I’d be here.

You’re not overreacting.

That guy could have ruined your life.

Just… make sure you stay safe?

Orihime sighed after reading his message. It didn’t make her feel any better. If anything it set her more on edge. But at least the burden of the information had been shared and that was something.

Vega.Strife00

Thanks, I’ll try.

ObscurasIV

You’re welcome.

You should do this and stand up for yourself.

I hope he goes down in a fucking ball of fire.

It still pisses me off.

Yeah, he made it about himself again. It came as no surprise at this point.

Vega.Strife00

Well I’m in it now. I’m sorry for bugging you. Good night. zzz

ObscurasIV

Yeah. Night.

Ulquiorra tossed his phone on the coffee table and sighed. She never bugged him. She never bothered him. He was the one who went out of his way to pester Orihime. No; he was going to start this war.   
  


ObscurasIV

He was the start of this. He put his hands on you and started all of this.

I see you have no fucking sarcastic reply to what I said earlier.

It’s because you can’t deny it.

Had I not fucked up…

Hey, Orihime? If this bothered you so much, why the fuck did you have sex with me the last time I saw you?

Why the fuck would you do that to yourself and to me?

  
  


Her cheeks heated as she watched the messages, and the flashing ellipses indicating that more were on the way, coming in one after another. When his messages finally stopped, she had to take a minute to collect her thoughts.

Vega.Strife00

He wasn’t the start of anything. You lied to me from the beginning about Nel. You lied to me like you lied to her; through omission.

But to me it was worse. You swore you cut off contact with her.

Everything between us was based on that lie.

As for your comment and the last time we were together…

I didn’t respond because I didn’t think it was appropriate.

Why we had sex last time? 

Several reasons. 1. I love you. 2. I missed us. 3. I wanted everything to be okay. 4. You tore my heart out when you showed up at my door with Vega and Strife. I didn’t want you to hurt like that anymore. 5. I didn’t know then what I know now.

He shook his head, becoming pissed off as he read her messages.

ObscurasIV

You fucked me although you knew this whole thing with Nel at the party bothered you.

You don’t fucking love me.

You don’t miss us.

You didn’t want us to be okay.

They were a couple of text messages. Get over it.

Vega.Strife00

I did. I did have sex with you despite the thing with Nel. Denial is a powerful thing.

I am over the text messages. I don’t know what the fuck they were, but I let them roll off my back.

I know how I feel.

Do you?

ObscurasIV

You used me.

You used me to feel better about everything.

What did you tell yourself? 

Sure Ulq we can fuck but people are going to tell me things and I’m going to rip your heart out.

You’re not over it because you keep shoving into my face that I lied.

I know how I feel.

Oh. They were not talking about the same set of text messages.

Vega.Strife00

I thought you were talking about your dirty text from the other day.

I am nowhere near over the texts between you and Nel.

I didn’t use you.

Your best friend contacted me after you posted the IG pic of us at the airport.

So did your dad.

They told me that I was being a fucking idiot.

Nel came over to talk to me while I was at your dad’s house.

She showed me more things.

It’s hard for me to believe that you ever really loved me, or if it was just the idea of Vega.

I know you will always put Nel first. You always did. Even if you did love me, you were never loyal to me. It was always her. No matter what. She snapped her fingers, you answered.

But when I needed you, where were you?

ObscurasIV

I don’t fucking kid myself. If I was there I know where you would be.

Don’t deny it.

You can’t.

Think what you want to think.

Are we done now? 

Can I stop trying to get you back because it doesn’t seem like you want “us” anymore.

Orihime was shutting down. He was lashing out at her and she wasn’t going to lie down and take it. His actions had already hurt her enough.

Vega.Strife00

If you want to be done then walk away.

I thought that was what you had done on the phone before when you called me a whore.

It sounds like that’s what you’re calling me now.

Is that why you tried to use me like some kind of cokewhore when I tried going down on you?

Is that what you really think of me?

You leave me with little option than to think what I think.

You’ve made no effort to change my opinion.

I think you’ve forgotten that you were the one who stepped out on us, not me.

Ulquiorra let a breath hiss out from between his gritted teeth.

ObscurasIV

I won’t be done until you say we’re done.

Or you tell me to stop.

But on the other hand...

What’s the point when all I did was lie?

When all I did was cheat?

Or so you seem to think.

Sorry about that. I never got to explain that I kind of like facefucking.

I changed everything about myself for you.

Otherwise I’d be some long-haired emo loser from Youtube.

He was quickly becoming irate. He was angry.

She had fucking had it.

Vega.Strife00

Let me say it louder for the hard of hearing

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STEPPED OUT ON US, NOT ME.

You can find someone else to facefuck if that’s what you want.

ObscurasIV

LET ME FUCKING SAY IT LOUDER

YOU LET THAT PRICK TEACHER GROPE YOU

HE FUCKING GRABBED YOUR ASS

PEOPLE WERE CALLING YOU A WHORE

Nah, I’m good. Don’t want another bitch.

Orihime screamed through clenched teeth and tossed her phone to the foot of her bed. No. Fuck this. This would not stand. She screen-shotted his last two messages, redacting some bits, including his username so that it couldn’t be shared with the public, and sent it to Nel.

Vega.Strife00

I don’t even fucking know.

Is he insane?

  
  


Gamuza333

Ugh. He’s in a pissy mood, isnt he?

What started this?

But yeah, he likes to be rough during oral.

I don’t know why. :\

She sent a quick reply. She wasn’t in the mood to satisfy Nel’s curiosity and it seemed like the green-haired woman was sniffing for gossip instead of trying to be helpful. Besides, she knew that Nel knew why Ulquiorra had been rough during oral. She had read his journals. Orihime’s intuition was sending her warning signals. Orihime had a new appreciation for Nel, but she still didn’t trust her. 

Vega.Strife00

I don’t even want to talk about it right now I’m too pissed off.

She sat on her bed and stared at her anime poster. It didn’t do anything for her anymore. It was just something to look at while her mind wandered. She was at a loss.

Gamuza333

Sorry.

Remember he’s a toddler throwing a tantrum.

He’s hurting.

Vega.Strife00

Yeah, I'm not his mom.

And people keep telling me that he's hurting.

But he stepped out on me. Not the other way around.

And I’m hurting too. Everyone seems to forget that part.

Gamuza333

I’ve not forgotten but this is both new to you both.

Ignore him for right now.

Tell him to stop.

When your ready reach out to him.

Yep. Orihime’s bullshit sensors were tingling. She was pretty sure that given the opportunity, Nel would still take her place in an instant, as long as it didn’t mean becoming some simpering groupie at his mother’s request. It was time to politely end this little charade of friendship.

Vega.Strife00

Thanks. I gotta get some rest. Exams tomorrow. Good luck if you still have any.

Orihime was going to turn her phone off and just brood. No. She wasn’t going to let Ulquiorra get the last word. She tapped out another message to him.

Vega.Strife00

I AM SUING HIM FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? SET HIM ON FIRE?

Oh, and quick question, aren’t people supposed to stick up for their loved ones, not run away like a little bitch? 

When I saw Nel on you I stood up for you. 

When you saw Aizen grope me you just ran away. 

I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. It was nothing like with Ishida. 

Aizen has sway with my aunt, as you well know. 

When I looked to you for help, you left me there. 

Do you have any idea how worthless that made me think I was to you? 

After you ran off I did say something to Aizen. You know what happened. 

I nearly got slapped in the face and got cut off from my college funds. 

I’m a college drop-out, and the fear of this reality was what kept my mouth shut until then. 

With Ishida there were no consequences. 

With Aizen, my entire life was on the line. 

You know that. You knew that. You just didn’t care and you didn’t believe in me. 

I always believed in you. Even when I clearly should not have. 

The last weekend we were together I believed in you too. 

Those nights on the phone before that I was believing in you. 

I always allow myself to get swept up in you. You have been exploiting it, whether or not you mean to.

I’ve been forced to see the truth now, though. 

If you are able to be honest with yourself and with me, maybe we can fix this. But until then…

I made your birthday present public again.


	7. Since U Been Gone

Ulquiorra looked like hell when Nemu showed up on Friday morning. He hadn’t eaten. He really hadn’t slept. Right now, he just hated life. He had read Orihime’s message so many times that the words were engraved into his brain. 

Orihime was right. 

It fucking hurt.

He was a selfish person. He had strung Nel along. He had done the same thing to Orihime but he had taken it to another level with her. The difference between the two women was that he cared about Orihime. He cared for her deeply.

She had given him the go ahead to find someone else, if that was what he wanted. Maybe he should. Perhaps he should just say screw it and move on. He did not want to. 

Their lives were screwed up. He had messed them up. 

So when the dead-eyed woman walked into the beach house, Ulquiorra just sent her back to LA. He wasn’t in the mood for her bullshit today. He definitely wasn’t in the mood for what was in his Instagram inbox.

Gamuza333

LOL.

How the mighty have fallen.

ObscurasIV

Traitor.

Best friend my ass.

You’re just as self-serving as the next person.

Gamuza333

You deserve it.

She wants nothing to do with you.

She says you’re fucking crazy.

Oh… Well… She already knew that though.

Ulquiorra’s eyes narrowed. What did Nel mean by that?

ObscurasIV

What did you show her?

Gamuza333

I showed her nothing.

She did rummage through your room.

She slept there the entire time. 

I did catch her reading your journals.

ObscurasIV

What?

Goddammit NELLIEL

No one but you knew where those were!

You’re the only one who could move the drawer just so, so it would unlock.

Traitor.

Gamuza333

Whatever. You cheated on her.

Cheater.

User.

Liar.

ObsucrasIV

Whore.

Gamuza333

Prude.

Ulquiorra didn’t know why he didn’t just block this username that Nel used. He had already blocked Gamuza3. She was toeing a fine line right now.

ObscurasIV

I could send her these screenshots.

I’m not the one for confrontation though.

Bitch.

Gamuza333

Right not the one for confrontation. Look where that got you.

You did that little head nod thing. There was nothing resigned in the way you looked at me that night.

You wanted it.

But

You can’t handle the fact that your little Vega wants nothing to do with you.

TMG says her and Ichigo were a bit handsy at the Gala.

She’s moved on to better places.

So whenever you want to, I could come out…

He didn’t answer. Ulquiorra took the screenshots but didn’t send them to anyone. Instead, he blocked Gamuza333. He did not want to talk to Nel. He didn’t want to talk to Orihime. He wanted to wallow in silence. 

That was not to be the case.

About an hour later, Nanao came through the front door with Nemu in tow. Ulquiorra was laying on the floor in front of the coffee table, trying to calm down.

“Your mother is on standby. Get up. Go take a shower. You’re coming with us,” his assistant barked.

***

Orihime never heard back from Ulquiorra. She never heard back from Nel, either, to her relief. She had her exams. She had her choir concert. She had her meeting with the lawyer. She told the lawyer everything that happened with Aizen, with dates and approximate times when she remembered them.

She mentioned that the last two incidents had a witness, Ulquiorra Cifer. She gave the lawyer his number in case it was necessary. The lawyer had her sign a complaint and then had her assistant type up an Affidavit about the events that Orihime had described, which she signed under penalty of perjury.

Orihime’s hand trembled as she signed the document and swore to her signature to the notary.

There was nothing left for her to do after that than start packing. She helped Tatsuki out, driving her to the airport for her flight back to Seattle for Christmas break. They said their final farewells there.

“I hope everything works out for you, Orihime. There’re other, less dickish guys out there. I’m sure you’ll find one.”

Orihime had smiled at her soon-to-be-former roommate and said nothing to that. She didn’t wait around to watch the black-haired girl go through security like she had with Ulquiorra after saying goodbye.

When she got back to her empty dorm, she felt empty as well. All the memories of her and Tatsuki getting to be friends and then falling away from friendship after Ulquiorra left her. All the memories of Ulquiorra sharing her bed with her. It was really all over. She was moving on, physically, if not mentally. It made her sad in a new way.

It had been four days since she sent that Instagram message to Ulquiorra. Four days of silence. Maybe he was moving on too.

She shook her head at herself and started packing. It didn’t actually take long. All she had was her clothes, her toiletries, her instruments and her laptop and assorted gadgets. Getting everything bagged up or put into laundry baskets only took a few hours. She even started putting stuff like her gowns and bad habits out into her own car. She threw a lot of stuff out. Her anime poster. Her used school supplies. Consumables.

Then she looked at the chelf above the TV. His plants. Fucking hell. He had left her with sole custody and they weren’t even her kids, she thought with ironic bitterness. Oh well, she could leave them with Jon when she finally figured out what to do with her life.

He wasn’t coming for another day, though. She had nothing to do. 

She hadn’t packed up her instruments in the car. She could record. Or she could plan a recording. Didn’t Ichigo say she should? He seemed like he had a more balanced outlook on life than she did at the moment. Maybe she should take his advice.

***

Nemu was sitting in the studio with him today. 

Ulquiorra was strumming his guitar but he wanted to throw the instrument across the room. He wanted to break it. He wanted get pissed off and show people that he could get mad too. “What the hell is your problem? Why are you here?”

“I like you. I don’t have an uncomfortable feeling around you. I know I can just sit and be silent,” Nemu said as she looked out the studio window. “Being in the city is tedious; people always talking. They never shut up. This city never sleeps.”

Oh. That made sense to Ulquiorra. “Ah, well I’m going to record,” he said. “You should go.”

“I’m fine.”

His lips pressed into a thin line. Did Nemu not get that he wanted privacy? “Your eardrums,” Ulquiorra said before he started setting things up. Once he was in the recording booth, he took a deep breath as he pressed a button that would turn on the equipment that would track his voice.

“Please forgive me If I act a little strange. For I know not what I do…” He wasn’t talking to Orihime. He kept telling himself that. He wasn’t begging for her forgiveness. Ulquiorra kept going. “Feels like lightning running through my veins. Every time I look at you…”

Seven minutes later he was done and Nemu still sat on the couch, looking out the window. There was a lot he was going to have to edit. Maybe he’d make an actual music video to this song. Yeah right. That required effort he didn’t have the energy for.

“Hey, uh, Nemu?”

She didn’t say anything, just shifted her eyes towards him.

“Want to go get coffee?”

In retrospect, that was probably a bad idea. Stupid paparazzi.

***

Oh. Well. That’s how it was? He certainly didn’t have much of a type, did he?

Orihime’s first reactions were along those lines as she sat at her otherwise empty desk and saw the Instagram pics.

Her second reaction was worry. Ulquiorra looked thin. He was wearing long sleeves, though, so it was hard to tell, but his face was gaunt.

Maybe he was feeling upset about what happened between them. Maybe he was worn out fucking the brains out of this new older woman. She looked pretty unimpressed with life at the moment, too.

Her third reaction didn’t come until after a new video from It’sRan! was posted about an hour later. The blonde explained to her dear viewers who Nemu Kurotsuchi was and how she had started working with Obscuras IV two weeks ago and had been seeing each other steadily ever since.

Wow. That was her third reaction. Wow. Ulquiorra Cifer didn’t fuck around with deceit. He laid it down in layers. He’d been seeing this woman since he went back and the whole time he seemed to be making a half-assed effort to get Orihime back.

She cried. She punched her pillow. She set up her chair and her computer. She put together a generic backing track of bass and percussion made of samples she found online. She didn’t care so much if this was perfect. She found the chords. She sang the song. She posted it on YouTube before the day was done. She decided to add a description this time.

Vega.Strife00 posted 0 minutes ago

I still can’t breathe, but maybe someday I will. Hope you all enjoy a classic. I didn’t do Ms. Clarkson much justice, but here’s my take on Since U Been Gone.  
  


***

Ulquiorra just stared at the screen of his laptop. This wasn’t what he wanted to happen. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Why the fuck were there paparazzi and vultures in Laguna Beach?

They had decided on a small cafe off of the main street of the village. Ulquiorra had ordered an orange juice while Nemu had lemonade. They didn’t talk. They didn’t really speak. They sipped on their drinks and looked absolutely bored with life. Some asshole captured the moment. They posted it on a gossip website. They posted it to Instagram. It was on Facebook. It was on Twitter.

The picture was _everywhere_.

Fans were tagging her in the picture.

Then the notification for Orihime’s video came in. People were tagging him. He read the description. He listened to the video several times. Should he reach out?

ObscurasIV

Hey. Uh, nice video.

Kind of reminds me of something.

What an asshole, she thought as she read his message through swollen eyelids as she lay in bed.

Vega.Strife00

Hey. Nice picture.

She seems nice. A bit old for you but to each their own I guess.

Maybe that’s what he was looking for; a mommy figure, she thought after she sent that message. Yeah, it was catty. But he was just rubbing it in her face.

ObscurasIV

It’s not what everyone is making it out to be.

She’s my image consultant.

It doesn’t matter. 

You don’t want anything to do with me.

Did you have fun reading my journals?

Ulquiorra wished he could take those words back but he couldn’t. He wished he could take all the words he said to everyone back. He wish he was still some anonymous nerd that just wasted time on the internet instead of some gossip fodder.

Vega.Strife00

No, I didn’t. Nel kept telling me to read them, so I did. 

You don’t know how I feel.

You may want to get a new image consultant. You look tired.

She wanted to say worse things. She couldn’t. She was broken-hearted but not heartless, and she still loved him.

He knew it was all Nel. Fucking traitor. What did Nel have to gain from playing both sides? Oh, Nel thought she was going to get back in his bed. Ulquiorra didn’t want anything to do with her so that wasn’t going to happen by a long shot.

ObscurasIV

You didn’t have to. Why the fuck did you stay in MY room?

My room… I don’t get it Orihime.

The sheets weren’t changed. Are you a masochist?

I am tired. I’m tired of a lot of stuff.

Orihime didn’t feel like playing games. She was tired too.

Vega.Strife00

You’re right. I shouldn’t have. I knew I should not have. 

It wasn’t right and I’m sorry.

I stayed in your room because your dad offered and I wanted to smell us and feel close to you even if it wasn’t real. Maybe I am a masochist.

His eyes closed as he released a long breath.

ObscurasIV

If you knew you shouldn’t have… then why?

I don’t get it.

You have an issue with me. 

To me that says you’d fucking run away from me and everything dealing with me.

Instead you stay in my room for almost a week.

Why are you trusting Nel of all people?

I don’t get that either

Anyway, the song sounds great.

She sighed. Well, these were legitimate questions.

Vega.Strife00 

Why? Because I was weak. Nel said there were things in there I should know and I was hurting and Nel was doing my nails and acting like my bff and… anyway it’s excuses. I know I shouldn’t have read them and I’m sorry.

...

I trusted Nel for two days. It was a mistake. I needed someone to talk to and I love your dad but he’s not much of a talker. I don’t trust her anymore. She’s digging for gossip.

...

We deal with things in different ways. You ran. I stayed and tried to understand. 

...

The song is awful.

Ulquiorra didn’t know what to say. The desire to be a sarcastic asshole came to mind by sending a thumbs up emoji was strong. Instead he turned off his phone and took it downstairs and laid it on the counter in the kitchen. He went back upstairs and walked into his bedroom. The whole point of the matter was that Orihime had given Nel fuel to add to the fire. Nel betrayed him. Both women invaded his privacy. 

It wasn’t his fault that she didn’t have a loving family.

Then again… 

God he was stupid. He was an idiot. He had said his family was her family if she wanted it. Obviously Orihime wanted a family. She had nothing but fucking Claire. He opened his laptop.

ObscurasIV

We all have our moments of weakness.

It’s good.

I hope you found some answers. 

Vega.Strife00 

I know but it’s still wrong.

I ended up with more questions than answers.

Anyway, I understand that you’re moving on so 

She didn’t know how to finish that statement so she just left it hanging.

Moving on? How the fuck was he moving on? She got that from a picture? This was a bigger clusterfuck than he thought.

ObscurasIV

I’m not but if that’s what you want to think… Can’t stop you.

I fail to see how having a drink with an image consultant is moving on

Do you want me to move on? Should I?

I just recorded a song for you but if you think that, it’s pretty pointless to post it.

Vega.Strife00 

I don’t want you to move on!

God he was a hard-headed idiot.

Vega.Strife00 

I… this is so unfair.

I am a masochist.

I want the song. I want you. I want you to love me the way I love you.

You don’t, though. You might think you love me but not how I need you to.

I don’t know what to do about that.

Fuck. What was she doing? Walking right back into the swamp. Oh well, she never really left yet.

He heard the message notification when he was in the smaller closet looking around for that box. He needed to find it. Once Ulquiorra did, he cut the tape going across the top and then opened it up. He retrieved the bag that he was looking for, throwing it onto his bed as he passed through the room. Then he went back downstairs to grab his phone.

She wasn’t the only masochist, he thought, as he read her messages.

Ulquiorra decided to tell her this.

ObscurasIV

You’re not the only one. 

She was feeling raw. She read his message and didn’t respond. She took a selfie as she lay on her side, eyes red, clutching his t-shirt. She sent it. A picture was worth a thousand words, right?

The picture came in just as he was snapping his own photo. As soon as Ulquiorra saw Orihime he decided not to send the one he just took. It’d be stupid to egg her on and push her away.

ObscurasIV

You look miserable. I like can feel the misery.

I know you don’t want to but maybe… I’m not good for you Orihime.

I don’t want you to move on but that’s selfish of me to think that.

I want you to find someone who makes you happy.

I obviously don’t do that.

I know I screwed up.

I know I hurt you.

She closed her eyes. He was probably right, but she didn’t want him to be. She didn’t know what else to say, so she said nothing, just stared at his words until she fell asleep.

***

By Wednesday Ulquiorra had edited the song and put together a video of pictures of himself and video clips. The clips were mostly of himself playing guitar or staring at the ocean. Each time the line, “every time I look at you” was sung, Ulquiorra had inserted a short clip of himself smiling at the camera or just smiling in general. It was hard to do that because what did he have to smile about?

ObscurasIV

It’s up. Take from it what you will

Vega.Strife00

I’ll tell you this here because I don’t want a social media feeding frenzy

That was gorgeous.

I love your smile.

ObscurasIV

I was thinking of us when I filmed those parts.

Did you find a place to stay?

Vega.Strife00 

Yes. It’s temporary but it will do. It’s nice.

I’m glad you can smile when you think about us.

I’m still slinging coffee, but I’ve been promoted to barista.

Bigger and better things, right? Lol

ObscurasIV

That’s good. Sado is actually letting you behind the counter?

I’m glad that you liked the video. The song was recorded in the studio here at the beach house.

Ulquiorra sighed as he sent the message. He wondered if she was okay or just telling him that. He needed to focus. He was trying to write a song but the words still wouldn’t come to him.

ObscurasIV

I’m still deciding if I want to come home for Christmas.

Orihime had been back at the Cifer residence since Sunday. Jon had helped her pack up the rest of her car and whatever didn’t fit went in Jon’s car, and she followed him up. She had declined to use Ulquiorra’s room this time; he had seemed displeased that she had stayed there before. Also, if he did come back for Christmas it would be easier to avoid each other if she was out of the way. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe they wouldn’t have to avoid each other. Maybe pigs would fly. Who knows. 

Maybe she could make a friend before then and crash with them. Or get a hotel. Or live third shift. She shook her head. She could jump off that cliff when she got to it.

Vega.Strife00 

The sound quality was noticeably better being recorded in the studio.

Lucky… :P

I am planning on doing some more recording too. It’s good for tracking improvement.

Plus, now that I’m not affiliated with the school I feel adrift, musically.

Vega IV, Vega Highwell, Orihime Inoue the soprano… they don’t really exist anymore, so… YouTube is next.

I bet Xmas in LA is weird. No snow.

He nodded. It was weird seeing people around that complained when the temperature dropped a bit. It was strange that he could go swimming in December. 

ObscurasIV

So… where are you staying at?

I may be sending you something.

Oh crap. Well, so much for keeping it a secret.

Vega.Strife00 

Please don’t be upset. It’s only temporary.

I’m with your dad and Steve again.

I’m staying out of your room this time. 

You deserve your privacy.

Fuck. She was at his dad's house? She was staying out of his room? He had hoped to talk to his dad but that was probably going to be impossible now. 

Orihime thought about it again. It wouldn’t be fair. She wrote again after a short pause.

Vega.Strife00

Don’t worry about Xmas though, I can get out of here for a few days so you can come home.

No this wouldn’t do.

ObscurasIV

Hey that’s your home. I’m the visitor now.

If you want to use my room, i don’t mind.

You pretty much know everything now.

If I come out, I’ll bring your present.

:)

Maybe they could be friends after all, Orihime thought.

Vega.Strife00 

That would be nice.

Don’t let Jon hear you say you’re a visitor here, it would break his heart.

Along those lines, your room is for you. The guest room is nice, anyway. 

How’s your song selection process going?

Last we talked it was not easy.

Ulquiorra gave a smile. It was nice to be civil.

ObscurasIV

Still not easy. Struggling to write a song.

Tired of doing covers somewhat.

I’ve got 5 songs I know I want to do for sure for the album.

My room has equipment in it you can use.

Like I said, I’m not bothered if you use it. 

It depends on your comfort level. I can understand if you’re not comfortable with it.

Vega.Strife00 

Thanks. If you really don’t mind I might use it for recording :)

It’s cool that you’re trying to write an original song. 

Maybe you could collaborate with some songwriters?

Might be easier than going alone.

I feel like a video game character saying phrases like that, Lolol 

That fondness was settling in his chest again. Along with it came the aching hurt because he couldn’t hold her. He couldn’t get her back. He had ruined things.

ObscurasIV

Speaking of video games, I’ve got a PlayStation 2, 3, and 4 in my room. Look in the cabinet below the tv.

Games are in a drawer under the bed.

I miss you.

Orihime pressed her lips together to stop herself from getting overly emotional.

Vega.Strife00 

Me too. I may raid the game drawer at some point.

I have to get ready for work soon.

How do you deal with that Shawn guy? He is not all there.

Your dad’s new guys are a bit smarter.

Thank god.

Oh it hit him. She was working his dad’s businesses. Did his dad hire new people?

ObscurasIV

My dad throw away my apron?

New guys? Damn.

Shawn is supposed to stay in the bakery. If he’s in the coffee shop remind him of the espresso machine incident.

Vega.Strife00 

Yeah, apparently the old assistant manager’s husband got a job transfer.

Shawn was filling in until the new guys got trained up.

Oh no, wait, one of those guys knows you and used to work here.

He’s going to be the assistant manager soon.

Your apron’s place is sacred. No one is allowed to move it.

Occhi Verdi, you know?

Your dad is so sentimental.

His dad wouldn’t let people move his apron? Wow. Here he thought his dad hated him.

ObscurasIV

Renji? Ugh.

I have no clue what the name means.

He is?

He didn’t know? How was that possible?

Vega.Strife00 

What do you mean you don’t know what it means?

He named the shop after you! 

… I hope it’s okay that I told you that.

Come to think of it, he didn’t tell me, but I knew what the words meant.

Thanks, opera.

But I did ask him about it.

You are the moon and the stars to him.

Even if he gets pissed off at you and act like a hardass.

And what do you mean, ugh, Renji? He’s nice.

ObscurasIV

Maybe call me after work?

I’ll tell you about Abarai.

Vega.Strife00 

Do I need to be worried?

I’m working until close, are you going to be around?

Ulquiorra would stay up for days to wait for a call from Orihime.

ObscurasIV

Just tell me when to call and ill do it.

Renji is… intense at times. He has a stick up his ass at other times. He wants to lead but… he never got over the fact I was assistant manager instead of him.

Orihime laughed at that image.

Vega.Strife00 

So, are you saying if you were here, you’d be my boss? Lol

ObscurasIV

Probably

My love of cappuccinos comes from Occhi Verdi.

I can make one faster than Sado can think about making one.

Have a good night at work.

Vega.Strife00 

Thanks! I’ll ttyl. You know when the shop closes, boss. ;)

Orihime went to work and smiled at Ulquiorra’s apron when she passed it.

“What’re you smilin’ at, Red?” Renji asked as she came out of the back.

“Ha, nothing you’d care about, and who’re you calling Red, Red?” Renji had shockingly red hair, very obviously dyed and long.

“You’ll watch your sass if you know what’s good for you, Red,” Renji warned, narrowing his eyes at her playfully.

Normally that would have made Orihime laugh out loud, but this time Ulquiorra’s words were warning her to be careful. She smiled at the assistant manager and said, “Noted.”

***

Ulquiorra got something to eat. He felt a lot better after talking to Orihime. He shouldn’t be treating her like she was some kind of miracle drug. He shouldn’t be basing his moods on his interactions with her. 

He was fucking hopeless right now.

So hopeless he called his father.

“Cifer Confections, what can we bake for you?” Jon said.

“How about one of those delicious pumpkin rolls,” Ulquiorra replied. “Hey Dad.”

His father was quiet for a moment. “Ulquiorra. Hey Son, I’m at work. Training people and uh...”

“I know, Dad. I was wondering if I could come home for Christmas,” Ulquiorra said.

There was a long slow breath from the older Cifer. “Ulq, Steve and I were thinking about taking that trip… No one would be here. We didn’t even decorate.” 

“So you’re going to leave Orihime by herself?”

“Oh. So you know Orihime is here.”

Ulquiorra scoffed. “Yeah I know Orihime is there. I’m not dumb Dad. I knew she had nowhere to go. Why?”

Jon didn’t say anything for a beat. “I felt responsible for her and what you did to her. I put doubt in your mind about your ability to have a relationship. I thought this was going to be another Nel situation. Orihime has been adjusting to life here. She’s been working hard.”

“So that would be code for no, Ulquiorra… I don’t want you back home.”

“I didn’t say that. I want you to think about this. She doesn’t need you sniffing around,” Jon said. “She doesn’t need whatever game you’re trying to play with her.”

It was Ulquiorra’s turn to be quiet. It was amazing that his father had such little faith in him. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I love her?”

“Because I saw the video Ulquiorra. I heard the words you said to Nel. I’ve watched you for the past fourteen years with the girl. You’re no good for each other and I don’t think Orihime deserves that.”

“So can I come home or not?”

A sigh. “I don’t think it would be wise but I do miss you. How about I ask Steve and Orihime if they’d like for you to come for a visit and then call you tomorrow?”

He couldn’t argue. Steve would be on the fence. Orihime… It was hard telling what she would say. “Nah, just text me.”

***

“Goodnight, guys. See you tomorrow,” Orihime called across the store as she hung up her apron,

Bright red hair flopped up and down as the assistant manager jogged toward her. “Hold up, Red.”

Orihime rolled her eyes. “What is it, Renji?”

“Let me walk you out to your car, there’s all kinds of weirdos out this time of night.”

Orihime’s lip curled slightly, in an unpleasant way. “What kind of weirdos?”

“Oh, you know. Carjackers. Addicts looking for some quick cash. Perverts. It’s really no problem, I just wouldn’t feel right letting someone who is the size of a seven-year-old walk through the parking lot alone. I mean, what if someone can’t see you over the dash?”

“Haha, super duper funny. I will be fine, I’m sure,” Orihime assured him.

“No, I insist.” The response was firm. There was no room for argument.

“Okay…” Orihime said as she slipped her arms into her jacket. “I’m just in the second row.”

“Nevertheless, let’s go. I gotta close up.”

The two of them walked in silence to her car and Renji waited near the front of the vehicle as she unlocked it and got in. Before she closed the door she said thanks and then started it up, leaving the parking lot as quickly as possible.

The Cifer residence was not far away, and after she pulled into the driveway, she sat in her car and pulled out her phone.

\- I’m back home now. Wanna call and tell me about Renji now? I’m kind of freaked out.

Ulquiorra was in the shower when he heard the text chime. He quickly finished up and hopped out, only grabbing a towel to dry his hand off. His jubilant mood quickly tanked when he read her words. Of course, he wasted no time.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ulquiorra asked once she answered.

“Yeah, I’m sitting in my car in your dad’s driveway. Everything was fine, really, it’s just after you told me… whatever you said about Renji, then I was reading everything he said to me in a way that made me nervous and then after work he insisted on walking me to my car because apparently the neighborhood is dangerous or whatever, and when I said I’d be fine he got really serious about it. And he called me “Red” as a nickname earlier and I told him, “Who are you calling Red, Red,” and then he got weird and told me not to sass him and I don’t know if he was kidding or actually pissed off now.” She had to take a deep breath after she finished her report; she had said it all in one breath.

In the entire time his dad’s business had been in that spot, there had never been a problem. Ulquiorra’s brow wrinkled and then he scowled. “Renji was flirting. He has done that with all the female employees,” he stated. “The neighborhood isn’t that bad. The biggest problem we had was kids loitering in the summer and the occasional homeless person or someone stealing wifi.”

“Oh great. Just what I need,” she said, sighing dramatically and slumping down on the seat of her car. “Do you think he would have a crush on me or does he just do it to everyone?”

“Well,” Ulquiorra bit his lip and tried to think. That one chick left because Renji had hit on her constantly. “He has a thing for tiny women. You’re a tiny woman. Tell him if it does it again I will break his hands.”

She giggled. “Okay,” she agreed in a somewhat dubious voice. Mr. King of Nonconfrontation was going to come in and bust some chops? It was a comical idea. “Well, thanks for giving me a heads-up. Hopefully my inability to _not_ roll my eyes at him will help him get the picture sooner than later.”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line. “Hang on a second I need to get a towel. You texted and I was in the shower. I didn’t bother drying off when I read it.” Ulquiorra put the phone down and went over to the cabinet, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist before he came back to the phone. “Okay, um, how was work?”

“Other than him it was fine. It’s wasn’t that busy tonight. How about you?”

“Uh, I talked to my dad. I went for a swim. I ate. I went to the store and got some things. I made some revelations about myself,” Ulquiorra said.

“Revelations? That sounds serious. What kind of revelations?” she asked. Her tone was light but her interest was not.

This made him sigh. He really didn’t feel like exposing himself at the moment. “Well, how open are you to hanging out when I get there? Maybe watching a movie in the living room? My dad doesn’t think I should show up because you’re finally healing and I’m being a jerk.”

She had already given this matter some thought ever since he brought it up. She had an answer prepared. “I would be fine. If things felt weird I can just take a break in my room. Holidays are really just another day for me. Claire didn’t celebrate them or indulge me in Santa or peace on earth fantasies. You should really be with your family who loves you for them, though. I am not healing, you know. I’m, um, evolving,” she laughed at herself. “I’m not making any sense. I don’t know what to call what I am doing. Surviving, I guess.”

If things got weird, Ulquiorra would leave. If things happened between them, he knew it would probably kill them. He would not be opposed to it, but nothing good would come of it. “I just want to come back to see you,” he said as he walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, he continued, “My dad wants me to think about what I’ve done and am doing to you.”

Orihime bit the inside of her cheek. “Well, it’s good advice to be thoughtful,” she replied after a moment. “But, why do you want to see me? Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to see you too but… You know.”

How could he tell her? Would it matter? "The pictures I have... They’re not you. I try to put your voice with them and it’s all wrong. I want to see you because I am a masochist too. I want you. I want to see you because I love you." He bit his bottom lip and waited for the backlash.

“I know you do today, but what about when you’re angry or disappointed in me? What about when Nel waltzes in and snaps her fingers?” She was calm as she asked the questions. Every time their issues came up, Ulquiorra always started to backpedal and turn the argument around on her, so none of these things had ever moved an inch toward resolution. “I’m not trying to pick a fight right now, and I’m not trying to discourage you from coming home, but it’s a real problem.”

He sighed. “Nel betrayed me. She used me. She had no right telling you to read my journals. She wanted to know when she could come out here. I can send you the screenshots of our conversation. She knows I had her blocked on Instagram. She messaged me with that Gamuza333 account. I shouldn’t have done what I did and I said that I love you. I should have taken more into account concerning those words. I do love you, Orihime. I constantly think about you. Even when I’m angry, I want to do nothing but hold onto you.”

She breathed heavily, trying not to cry. It still wasn’t enough. It was better but it wasn’t enough. “I know she betrayed you. She’s been betraying you since the bees. Since the time things started changing between you. Since the car crash. Since she took away your chance to break free and go to a school without her. Since she disrespected your relationship with me. Since she pretended to be my friend and showed me your journals. But each of those times you went back to her. You responded. You kissed her. You did whatever she asked willingly. That’s what I meant when I said she has your loyalty and not me, even if you do love me. It’s only a half-complete thing. Did you block her triple-three account?” Orihime explained her points as calmly and kindly as she could. She asked the question about blocking Nel resigned to the idea that his answer would be that he hadn’t.

“She’s been blocked. Anything she could possibly contact me on, gone. If she shows up again, automatically blocked,” he said. Ulquiorra knew this would be a difficult conversation. “I’ll send you the screenshots, if you want to see them. I’m done trying to hide things. I can’t really hide anything anymore. Nanao reads everything. She had the audacity to tell me that she was tired of hearing me whine about my failed relationship.”

“Sure, send me the screenshots then,” she said. “If for no other reason than to rub them in her face if she ever tries to pretend to be my friend again.”

Ulquiorra nodded. It was in Orihime’s right to be as petty as she wanted to be. “Give me a second,” he said putting the call on speaker and then opening Instagram. He took the screenshots and sent them off to Orihime before deleting the conversation with his former friend. “Okay, sent.”

“Okay. Then, are you saying you know you didn’t love me before? I’m referring to the thing you said before you offered to send the screenshots, which I’ll look at later because they may send me flying into a rage,” she chuckled in embarrassment.

“To be fair, I probably deserve that rage,” Ulquiorra replied in a defeated tone. “I love you. I’ve always had feelings for you, even when I didn’t know you.”

“Yeah, you do deserve rage, but this one would be directed at her and you’d just be collateral damage. I know you have feelings for me. I never doubted that.” She was tempted to give in and look at the shots anyway. “A peek won’t hurt though, will it?”

“Please, I don’t want anymore misunderstandings between us. There’s already too many.”

“Okay,” she said, opening the messages. “Oh my,” she said, scanning them. “First of all, okay, I never said you were fucking crazy. I asked if you were insane. There is a difference. I didn't think your journal entries made you sound crazy, by the way,” she said, then paused to read more.

She hummed as she read the rest of it. “I fucking knew it. She was playing me. Whatever. I feel like I dodged a bullet where she’s concerned. Still, she brings up a good point and a steaming pile of bullshit. I was not handsy with Ichigo, nor was he handsy with me. He gave me a minimally invasive hug when we said our final farewells after the wedding, I think that’s as far as that ever went. I saw that Michelle girl at the Gala. I was not surprised when I saw the posts online. I’m pretty sure the hashtag moving on was her responsibility, but I digress.”

She took a deep breath and paused, waiting a moment to see if he wanted to interject or had any questions.

“If you did, you had every right to do that. I didn’t believe her. It was more of a roll my eyes reaction,” he said.

“Yeah. Well, point number two… Yeah. That is the kicker. You _were_ really into it. You talked about it like you missed her. Like you missed what she did to you that I couldn’t or didn’t. You told me you missed facefucking her in so many words. I mean, it wasn’t like you just kind of accidentally found yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. You went down that path willingly and with gusto.”

She took a pained breath and continued. “I have been cheated on before. That book ended with, “Have a nice life, Paulo.” I don’t know how to put an end to this chapter, though. I don’t know how to resolve it.” She huffed out a breath, beginning to feel sick at the memory. “I don’t want to put our book down but I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t know how to get over it.”

Ulquiorra didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to comfort her or how to offer advice to Orihime. He felt beaten down over this. He’d felt this way since he had opened his eyes in that emergency room bay. He had let a lot of people down by getting involved with Nel again. “I don’t want it to end like that but it’s not just my choice. That’s why I suggested that maybe you--” He couldn’t say the actual words.

“Why did you do it? Was I not good enough? Not pretty enough? Not good enough in bed?” her composure was beginning to crumble as she started to air her insecurities. “Did I bore you? Was I too vanilla?”

No. No. No. He was making her cry again. “Hey. It wasn’t that, Orihime. You are good enough. You blow my mind every time we have--had sex. You have to know that you’re gorgeous to me. I did it so that Nel would stop. So that she could satisfy her curiosity and leave me alone. I also did it because of Aizen. I felt like… I know you did nothing with him but I had this thought in my head that I wasn’t enough for you. I know I’m not the greatest lover. I’m inexperienced. I’m clumsy. There’s no one clear answer I can give you for why.” Ulquiorra tried to explain the best that he could. He had a feeling it wasn’t enough.

There was more to it. She knew there was more to it. She could feel it in her gut. Something he wasn’t admitting to himself, maybe. “There’s something you’re not telling me. Maybe it’s something you don’t want to tell yourself, I don’t know. All I know is that I wasn’t important enough to you for you to want to protect what we had. And for as much as you seem to sincerely regret it, you threw away everything so easily. So quickly. No wait, I take that back. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in that one instance at Tier's because it was so shocking, but the messages. The plans to leave me behind. All of it. Nothing is consistent. When we are together it feels like nothing could tear us apart but when my back is turned everything blows up. I don’t know what I mean to you overall. Your journals told the same story. You seemed really interested in me. You seemed really annoyed by Nel. But you always clung to her. You “felt her pull” even after we were together. I…” She exhaled. “I need you to figure yourself out.”

“Okay.” Ulquiorra felt grateful that she was giving him that much. “It’s not going to take a day or two to do that. I have this thing--All I wanted to do was make music; to sing. This is not how I wanted this to go. You and I were supposed to do this together. I--I listened to other people.”

“Yeah?” It wasn’t a question as much as an observation. “Anyway, about Christmas, whatever you want to do will be fine. We’re adults, right? We can handle it”

He was going to counter her statement with the words that they were still teenagers but he didn’t want to fight with her. “Orihime… I know as soon as I see you that—“ Ulquiorra sighed. 

“What? Is it going to be too hard for you? That’s fine. I can go back to Columbus for a few days or get a hotel.”

“No! It’s just that… I am going to—I still want you. I’m probably going to see you and I’ll want to—just forget about it,” he sighed. “I’m stupid.”

“You think you’re stupid for wanting to have sex with me? It’s not stupid. It would be stupid to do it, but it’s not stupid to want it. It’s normal.”

Again he sighed. “Not sex. I just want to touch you. I want to hold you.”

“Well if we can keep this friendly rapport going I don’t think a hug would be out of line.”

Thinking about her words for a moment, he stayed silent. The first touch would lead them down that path. Neither of them seemed to be able to stop themselves from indulging in the other. “Hugging will lead to touching and kissing and soon you’d be pinned against the wall.”

Orihime sighed. “Well, in that case I’ll call around. I’m sure I could crash on Tier’s couch. Ivan mentioned his sister being out of town. There’s always AirBnB.”

“No, my dad doesn’t want me there. I don’t want to make an ass out of myself. I’ll just stay here. I’m not going to make you leave just because I can’t handle being around you.”

“Seriously Ulquiorra, it’s not a big deal. Think about it, okay? This is _your_ family, not mine. Despite how generous you are all being that’s the truth. It’s not right for me to get in the way.”

This was becoming frustrating for him. “Orihime, I would much rather spend the holidays by myself than risk facing rejection from you. You’re the reason why I want to be there.”

Dammit this hurt. “You know the only reason I would turn you down is to protect the possibility of us getting back together. You know that, right?”

Oh. Was she saying there was still a chance for him? “Don’t get my hopes up like that,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Why? I thought we were trying honesty. I know I can’t deal with us as we are now, but as much as you’ve hurt me I still love you. Apparently you feel that way too. I don’t know how to fix it but… I haven’t turned away yet.”

Automatically Ulquiorra knew which song he wanted to cover next. There had to be some changes to it but he could sing it for her. “Okay,” he replied.


	8. Tritone

Nemu stood silently as Ulquiorra paced the marble floor of the living room. "I don't see what the bother is," she stated.

"Really?"

"I've never felt the need for a relationship."

He hmphed. "You seem apathetic. Dead on the inside; a boring fuck."

This was the first time that he saw her brows draw slightly closer with something akin to offense. "Huh."

"What?"

"Ulquiorra, you're whining again, over that woman. That kind of gets boring. You won't eat because you're stressed out over this," she commented as if she was talking about the weather.

"You don't understand. I've gone through hell because of Nelliel and Orihime." He ran his hands through his hair. "I finally found someone I am interested in and that I feel deeply for. I screwed that up because I'm scared to let someone go and then take the plunge into deeper waters."

"C'mon, lets get out of this place. You can tell me all about Nel and Orihime. I've also been talking to some therapist friends of mine. Soi Fon is a really great doctor."

Ulquiorra didn't mind the paparazzi today as they snapped shots of him and Nemu. He wasn't interested in the consultant like that. So what if he laughed at something she said or shook his head or showed a bit of interest in the conversation. They talked for a couple of hours and the entire time Ulquiorra felt the weight of that bracelet Orihime bought him on his wrist. She was never far from his mind.

***

She was considering deleting her Instagram account. She really didn't want to be bombarded with images of Ulquiorra's "extended romantic lunches" with his stylist. What did he see in that woman, anyway? She looked completely without personality. She also looked a lot older than him; like a boring aunt. Orihime knew that her ex said it was nothing, but this was the third time this week they'd been spotted together in public. Who needed that much styling?

Whatever. Based on past behavior, he was probably moving on and stringing her along like he did to Nel. There was nothing she could do about it. It hurt like a son of a bitch to think about, though. She was frustrated by her inability to keep Ulquiorra faithful to her or accountable. But, on the other hand, they weren't together. He hadn't contacted her since her phone conversation with him in Jon's driveway. She had no right to hold him accountable to her, but these pictures were just rubbing that fact into her face. She needed to think about moving on, too.

She sighed. She didn't want to move on.

She worked. She slept. She avoided Steve. Life was stagnant.

***

Ulquiorra sighed. Nanao was again bitching at him while they drove to the airport. He didn't care. "Look, I miss my family and I want to visit them."

"What about your mom?"

"She's off in Europe with her girlfriend or boyfriend… whatever she's into this week," Ulquiorra grumbled. His mom was okay, but she waffled and flip-flopped on everything. One minute she liked Nel and the next she didn't. One day she didn't really like Orihime, and the next she was okay. "I don't have any appearances scheduled. I don't have any obligations.

Nanao said nothing until she dropped him off at the terminal. "If something does come up I'll call. Someone will be back to get you on the third."

Ulquiorra understood. He hadn't told his dad or Orihime what Nemu helped him decide. He was going back home and he was going to pour his heart out to Orihime. He was going to apologize for being a foolish asshole. He was going to ask her to come back with him. If that didn't work he had re-recorded some of his best YouTube songs for her and put them on a CD.

Once he was on the plane he finally texted.

\- See you in 6/7 hours.

Orihime saw the message about three hours later when she took a break at work. She didn't understand.

\- what?

He had a layover in Chicago and was waiting for the next plane to board. There was a light snow falling that he could see through the windows. Ulquiorra jumped when he felt his phone buzz.

\- I'm in Chicago rn. I'll be landing in Columbus in about 3 or 4 hours. Are you not going to pick me up?

What?!

\- I'm at work! Let me ask if I can leave early. I'll have to leave soon to get there in time.

Oh. Maybe Ulquiorra should have given them more warning than the day of his flight.

\- If you can't I'll rent a car. It's not a problem. I know how important it is for you to work. It's fine.

\- Renji is a dipstick but I'll go over his head. Luckily the big boss loves me.

Three minutes later she texted again.

\- Yeah, Jon just pulled me off shift to run a pick up and delivery for Cifer Confections. CUSoon

That made Ulquiorra smile. Orihime had everyone wrapped around her fingers. It was a good thing, though. He took a picture of himself smiling and sent to her before he turned off his phone.

Orihime hopped into her car and saw his picture and smiled to herself before starting the long drive up to Columbus.

***

It was a familiar feeling standing near the baggage claims for Ulquiorra to come out. Orihime looked down at herself and frowned. She was in her work clothes. Oh well. She was here as a chauffeur and ex-girlfriend, not as a potential love interest.

That was a lie. Still, she thought she had to keep telling herself that so she would not slip into old, blindly forgiving ways.

Ulquiorra sighed as he grabbed his carry on. He had to walk to the main terminal to get his other suitcase. He was going to be pissed off if it wasn't here yet. The flight had been terrible with the attendant flirting with him almost constantly. It was annoying, and then the bitch had the balls to announce he was on the plane which pissed him off more. Did people not have any concept of the word privacy?

As soon as he walked into the main building he saw Orihime. That dampened his angry mood somewhat. He smiled in her direction as he walked towards her with quick steps.

She smiled back at him and walked forward to greet him, stopping short a few paces. "Hey, how was the trip?" she asked, scratching the back of her neck and rocking on her heels a bit.

Oh. Ulquiorra didn't expect her to greet him like that. But he was stupid for even thinking that it would be any different. "It was horrible. How was the drive?" He asked, brushing past her and walking to the baggage carousel.

Orihime raised her eyebrows and turned in place, watching him with mild surprise. He was in a bad mood. "It was alright," she mumbled and waited where she was for a minute, then slowly made her way over to the conveyor belt.

"Nice," he replied. He had to admit that it hurt. He'd come back expecting things to be okay. Clearly they weren't okay. "Renji giving you anymore shit or did you tell him to back off? Because I will break his hands."

She smiled at that, twisting her mouth a bit to one side and then batting her lashes toward Ulquiorra twice. "Um, thanks. He has come to realize that I'm more trouble than I'm worth."

Nodding his head, Ulquiorra wondered what she did to make him realize that. Normally Renji was a dumbass. It took like a dozen sticks of dynamite to get something through his thick skull. Maybe he shouldn't be so jealous. It wasn't like they were together. A sigh left him as he watched for his suitcase.

"Did something happen? You seem awfully stressed." She was hesitant to ask the question because she didn't want to get her head snapped off, but just standing here in this tense atmosphere was wearing on her quickly.

"I just thought-I expected a warmer greeting than that. A hug; a kiss; something. It was stupid of me. I got my hopes up," he said quietly, not looking at Orihime. "Also I had a shitty plane ride. There was a flight attendant that kept flirting."

Orihime's face fell. She raised a hand and let it fall lightly on his arm. "I'm sorry. I don't know where I stand with you. I didn't want to make assumptions." She let the hand drop after she stopped speaking.

Hmph. She didn't know where she stood with him? Ulquiorra had her on a pedestal and practically would worship her if she asked. "Ah," he offered. "That's understandable. We both need to talk about the boundaries of our-well, what we have."

Orihime bit her bottom lip and nodded. He was right, of course. That didn't change the fact that it stung to hear him talk about their relationship in such vague terms. But it was vague. "Oh, isn't that your bag?" she asked, recognizing his luggage tag.

Sure enough, that was his bag. The emerald green tag was hard to miss and the black and white leather one he'd just added to it was even more distinctive. It was a present from Nanao. It was small. It was simple. It had a white four stitched into black leather. He grabbed the black suitcase and extended the handle. "I'm ready if you are," he said.

"Let's go then," she said with a nod, turning and walking toward the escalator to bring them to the parking structure. "I managed to nab rockstar parking. Appropriate for my budding rockstar, don't you think?" she said with a smile. She was trying, anyway. No matter what was going on that had her upset, she was happy to see him. She should try to act like it.

Not a budding rockstar. Not the budding rockstar. _My_ budding rockstar. Her budding-Orihime's rockstar. That one little word should have not made his heart beat faster or caused those butterflies to erupt in his stomach. But then again… Ulquiorra was getting his hopes up. He was banking everything on this trip. He hoped by the time he boarded the plane again in January, she would be with him this time. When they reached the garage and he put his luggage in the back of her car, he decided to take a gamble. "Hey Orihime?"

"Yeah?" she replied, looking up at him with an unguarded expression.

Should he be rude? Should he just pin her against the car and kiss her like a mad man? Should he run his hands through her hair, pulling her close to him? Ulquiorra took a step towards her intent on doing that but stopped when he was a foot away from her. No, he couldn't. He shouldn't and he wouldn't. He had to earn the right to do that to her again. He wasn't her boyfriend. He was just some loser who liked to badger his ex-girlfriend because he missed her and wanted her back in his life. He'd never get that chance if he just forced himself on her. "May I have a hug?"

Her heart swelled and she melted into one of her trademark sunshiny grins. "Always," she said, closing this distance and putting her arms around his waist herself.

Ulquiorra wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her closer to him. He laid his lips against the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her that he remembered well. A stab of pain went through his heart and he had to swallow. His breath hitched in this throat for a moment as he let it all wash over him. "I hope we turn out better than Snape and Lily," he whispered.

She squeezed him a bit tighter. She could feel his physical reaction in his touch and his breath. "We only resemble them physically. Except you are handsomer and I have brown eyes. Since we've met..." she trailed off. She wasn't sure it would be right to say what was on her mind. "Let's just say, there's no James Potter in my story."

"We could be how Rowling wanted the story to ended up… Harry and Hermione," Ulquiorra said with a chuckle, still holding her. "No Ron to get between us, though."

"Ew, truly. Ron the ginger? Ew. It would be Ivan. Or Renji, even worse!" she said, sounding disgusted and laughing at the same time.

He straightened but didn't step back from the small redhead. He was fighting this desire to just tilt her head up and kiss her. He had to resist. "Yeah, Renji needs to figure out what basic hygiene is before being around people," Ulquiorra stated.

"Ewww…" she repeated. "I never got close up enough to notice but now that you say that it's all I'm going to think about."

"I hope not," Ulquiorra said. "I kind of hope that you think about me at least some of the time."

She sighed. "Ulquiorra, please." She backed up a quarter of a step so she could glance up at him but didn't let him go. "You're an idiot if you think I don't think about you all the time," she said with an unimpressed expression and then stepped right back into the hug.

Oh. This made him smile. He was glad she thought about him as much as she ran through his mind every day. "I think about you constantly. I talk about you constantly. Nemu and Nanao are tired of hearing it."

There were those two names. She'd only heard of Nanao. No, scratch that, she'd heard her bitching on the phone. But Nemu… This was the one he was spending all of his time with much to the delight of the paparazzi. She took a step back and relaxed her hold. "Speaking of Nemu, you two have gotten rather cozy."

His face grew concerned as soon as she moved. "We have a lot in common. I mean our personalities are almost alike. I don't know why the cameras are going crazy around us, We look like we could be siblings. Nem is… Nemu's helping me. She's the one who told me to come out here for you. She told me a lot of other stuff and referred me to a therapist. She hears me talk about you all the time. She has seen me cry over you. She makes me eat, although I have no desire to." Ulquiorra let his hands slip down to her hips. "Don't worry about her, Orihime. I have no interest in her."

Orihime nodded but she couldn't keep the worry from her eyes. He was blind. Again. Willfully. "I'm glad she's helping. Just make sure you know why. People are selfish. It's in our nature."

"It's her job to help. She can't do her job if I'm skin and bones. If I'm not looking good the label won't pay her." Ulquiorra took a step back to put some distance between them. He thought about it for a moment and then started laughing. "If this was back in October, I would have already had us in a hotel room somewhere."

"Are you her only client?" She closed her eyes. She wasn't laughing. Once bitten, twice shy was not just an idiom. She didn't trust anyone.

Ulquiorra shrugged. "I've no clue. We don't talk about that. I mostly talk about myself and you. Sorry."

She opened her eyes and sighed. It didn't matter, she reminded herself. Right. "Let's get you home, shall we?" she asked then, trying to push through the doubts and come back to the present.

His mouth opened and he was going to suggest something else but he didn't. Orihime did not seem to be in a good mood now. He sighed and clenched his jaw before completely disengaging himself from the small woman and going around to the passenger side of the car. He actually slammed the door after he got in.

"What's with you?" she asked as she got in and buckled her seatbelt.

"It's nothing." He didn't know what the fuck he had to do show Orihime he regretted everything that happened with Nel. He didn't know how much he had to apologize to her for the thing with supposedly abandoning her after the shit with Aizen. Did he have to beg? Did she want him to grovel? Did she want to publicly shame him? Did she have some humiliation kink that he didn't know about?

"Okay… Well next time it's nothing please don't take it out on the creeper van. It's only ever been nice to you," she said before backing out of the parking space.

He scoffed before buckling his own seatbelt and pulling his phone out of his pocket. Ulquiorra knew he had no right to get angry but this was frustrating him. What did he have to do to show her that he was sorry?

Checking his email, there was one from a producer who he would be working with, it was the normal things that producers ran through, with tracks that he wanted to sing versus ones that the label were trying to drum up for him. Apparently there was this awesome songwriter that he had to meet once he was back in town. The guy even asked how Ulquiorra's own attempt at writing a song was going. It was nice that Oetsu took an interest in his projects.

After his initial irritation died down, Ulquiorra asked, "Would you rather me take it out on you?"

"Take what out on me?"

"Everything that I've been pushing away and down since we broke up."

"Lay it on me. Dishonesty never solved anything," she said, eyes on the road and voice firm.

"Nice jab at me. No thanks, I'll keep it to myself."

"Don't be mad at me for your choices. Your habit of shifting blame hasn't changed since you left, I see." Orihime had a thought that she should make sure the child safety-locks were engaged. This seemed like it was going to get ugly, fast, and she didn't want him bolting in the middle of traffic.

Did she think that? Did Orihime honestly think that he blamed her for his choices? "I regret some of my choices, okay? I have come to live with the others I've made, so I don't know how you figure I'm shifting the blame. Why didn't you just tell my dad to come get me?"

"For real? Because you asked me. And you're shifting blame because I made a blanket statement about humans in general not being able to solve problems by being dishonest, and you automatically interpreted it as being a jab at you. You wanted to "take it out on me". I think it's a logical conclusion then to think that you are blaming me for those things you've been "pushing away and down since we broke up." I'm a bit confused, too, because we seemed to be having a moment at the back of the car a couple minutes ago and then you brought up your stylist and suddenly you're all defensive. If you're dating her... whatever. If you're not, fine. I don't get a say in it."

"Oh come the fuck on! You said I lied to you and I cheated on you. Personally my dick wasn't in her so I don't consider it full on cheating but whatever."

"Hey - what if the tables had been turned? What if it was me letting some dude grind up into me while I talked about how great what he was doing was and how you didn't do that to me and then l made out with him and let him get a handful of tit while I groped him back? Not cheating?"

Another scoff came out of his mouth. He wasn't going to rise to this bait. He wasn't-Fuck it. "Aizen? He got a handful of tit and ass from you. And so what if I mentioned Nemu! I'm not dating anyone because I'm not interested in anyone but you!"

"Did I reciprocate? Did I tell him I loved it? Did I tell him that the way his teeth felt against my ear made me wet? No, I didn't! It's not even comparable, so don't even try." She wasn't going to let this settle. How could he in his wildest imagination think those two events were anything alike?

"I don't even remember what the fuck I said to Nel that night."

"Want a replay? I have it on my phone. Not that I need it there. I have it burned into my brain, thanks."

Of course she had it on her phone. "Maybe you should delete it, you might be a little bit less bitter about the whole thing," he snapped.

She scoffed. "And you're surprised I don't believe you when you say you regret any of this."

"I put it behind me. I did it. It happened for the wrong reasons. I accept the responsibility for it. You don't want to believe me, fine. Turn around, take me back to the airport. There's no reason I need to be here."

"That's nice for you, to have it put behind you. Convenient. Inconvenient that I haven't just forgotten. You want to go back?"

Ulquiorra folded his arms across his chest and took a deep breath. "Let me rephrase that… I've tried to put it behind me but you keep throwing it back into my face at any opportunity. And sure, take me back. I can get a hotel room and stay there until the fucking third rolls around or maybe I'll just have Nan change my ticket and fly back tomorrow. I can see we're not going to be friends during this visit. Why stay around and be miserable?"

"I don't even know what the fuck to say to that, Ulquiorra. I really don't," she said, pulling to the left at a break in the median and flipping her turn signal on to pull a U-turn. "Do what you want."

He snorted in mock laughter. For a moment she was hilarious. It quickly faded into brooding. "You say that all the time to me and when I try, you get pissy," he said quietly.

"What are you even talking about?" she asked. She sounded tired.

"Oh come on Orihime," he said. Once again he was getting frustrated with this entire situation. "You obviously have seen the pictures of me and Nemu. I have a friend that I can talk to about things and how I can set myself right and you get pissy. If I'm dating her… whatever. What if I was dating Nemu? Do you think I would have flown to Ohio for the chance to spend the holidays with you? I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have flown all this way for anyone because I know Nel is home. I came back for you and only you."

"Do you want to stay or go?"

"I want to stay but I really don't see a point if we're going to make each other miserable."

Orihime was silent as she watched cars pass, waiting for an opportunity to merge. Either way she was hanging out into oncoming traffic and would have to change directions. Whether or not she continued back to the airport or found another place to turn around was up to him.

But then, he had already made his position clear, hadn't he? She was always looking for something hidden in his words that wasn't there, wasn't she? She had done it when they first got together. He'd say something negative about Nel, something positive about her, and then she'd fill in the blanks to make it seem like something more meaningful that it was. She needed to stop doing that.

"I got it," she said, pulling into traffic and returning to the airport. She was silent for the rest of the drive, and pulled up to the Hilton attached to the airport and stopping in front of the doors. She didn't say anything.

He didn't think she would actually take him back so he was kind of shocked when the vehicle stopped in front of the hotel. "So this is it?" He asked, not bothering to open the door. He had to sit there for a second and take all of this in.

"This is what you decided," she said, popping the rear door of the van.

"I didn't decide this. I said I want to stay but I didn't see a point if we're going to make each other miserable. You brought me back here. You must have agreed with my statement. We make each other miserable," he said. Finally Ulquiorra opened the passenger door and got out. He got his carry-on bag and his suitcase out of the back.

After he had gotten his things and stepped away from the car she checked around the passenger seat to make sure he hadn't left anything there, then pressed the overhead button to close the back hatch. She wiped her eyes and grit her teeth, and as soon as the back door was closed, she pulled away. She didn't look back.

***

"Nemu."

"Ulquiorra?"

"We got into a fight. I told her to bring me back to the airport. She did. What do I do?" Ulquiorra asked.

"You are whining again. Not a good look for you. If you come back you've wasted a couple hundred dollars on a failed booty call. Lame." Nemu's flat tone made her words cut deeper.

Ulquiorra shook his head. "What should I do? Should I come back? Should I go after her?"

"It would be in your best interest not to waste your time or money. I think getting back on a plane and returning to L.A. would waste money but if you two got into a fight, it might be a waste of time," replied the consultant.

"So go after her? It was so fucking stupid too. She was like you two are dating," he said huffing. Again he shook his head. "What if it's over? She doesn't believe a word that comes out of my mouth. She still has that video on her phone. I bet if we did date she would throw a huge fucking fit-"

"Ulquiorra, this is not my concern. I'm tired of hearing about this. You need to decide on something and go with it. I can't make your decisions for you." Wow, Nemu sounded annoyed.

The musician sighed. "Sorry. I know. I know. Thank you," he said. His next phone call after hanging up on Nemu was to call the nearest rental car place. Then he called Nanao. Within the hour, he was on his way to that town near the Indiana border. He had to thank his lucky stars that his assistant had managed to find a place that would rent a car to him. The price was over inflated but they let the nineteen year old have the car.

It only took him two hours to drive the backroads to his hometown. It took him about ten minutes to pull into the coffee shop's parking lot. He grabbed his phone and got out of the car, making sure it was locked before he walked into Occhi Verdi.

"What the hell do you want?" Renji asked as soon as he spotted Ulquiorra.

The green-eyed man just shook his head. "You don't learn do you? I don't care if I'm the boss' son or that I was your boss at one point in time… You don't greet anyone who walks into that door like that. It's amazing my dad is making a profit with you behind the counter."

Orihime thought she heard Ulquiorra. The grinding of espresso beans had drowned out his voice a bit. She decided now was not the time to deal with it. Jon's newest employee at Cifer Confections had been waiting for his drink since he got off of work. She finished putting the foam on his cappuccino and called out, "Shuhei?"

A tall man with spiky black hair and a tattoo on his face stood up and walked toward the spot where Orihime had set down his cup. He kind of shuffled as he walked, but when he got to where Orihime was, his cheeks turned pink and he forced himself to make a bit of eye-contact. "Thanks," he mumbled, and then returned to his seat, staring at the way she had written his name on the side of the cup. It really wasn't special. He admired it anyway.

It was after Jon's employee sat himself back down and more or less disappeared back into himself that Orihime turned and saw what she was afraid of. She truly hadn't expected to see him back. He was apparently not there for her, though. He was occupied arguing with her dipstick manager. She threw the towel she had just used to wipe the counter over her shoulder and walked toward the door dividing the coffee shop from the bakery. Someone ought to tell Mr. Cifer that the prodigal son had arrived after all.

Ulquiorra saw her go through the door. He went around the counter ignoring Renji's offended statements that he didn't work here anymore. Eyes were rolled. There wasn't anything Renji could do to him. At any time he could put on his apron and work circles around anyone. He went through the door after the redhead, letting it swing behind him. "Veggs," he said following her. "Vega. Orihime, please stop."

She stopped. She didn't turn around. She waited. She was sure whatever came out of his mouth was going to be another fake apology that would fall away as soon as he was challenged, just like all the others.

"I rented a car because I'm not done talking to you. I would much rather be miserable than be back in Los Angeles," Ulquiorra said as he walked up behind her. "I came out here for you. Not for my dad or anyone else."

"Okay, talk." she said quietly. She still didn't turn around.

"I will if you're willing to listen. I need you to hear me, not just let what I'm saying fall onto deaf ears."

She frowned. How did he think setting conditions helped his position at all? It was hard for her to feel anything but incredulous and offended. She had to wonder if he was stupid. Still, she was curious about what he had to say. "Okay. I'm listening."

He looked around and noticed there were several people still in the bakery and they were very curious about why Ulquiorra was even in their space. "Not here. When do you get off of work?" he asked. "I don't want people gossiping about our conversation."

"You can use the office if you want to speak to someone with some privacy," a voice said from behind Ulquiorra. This made the other male jump.

Turning around, Ulquiorra was pulled into a hug from his father. "Orihime said that you had changed your mind," Jon said.

"Dad you're crushing me. Stop."

"Sorry, but seriously, if you two want to use the office to talk, you may." Jon looked at his son and then at the back of the redhead's skull. "Or I can let Orihime off early and you two can have this conversation at the house."

"I have to finish something and then I can go," Orihime said, as if she were her own boss.

Jon nodded. "Go do that and I'll keep Ulquiorra occupied while you escape," he said, joking but keeping a firm grip on his kid.

Orihime turned around and smirked at Jon. They had fallen into a very comfortable rapport, and she appreciated what he was doing right now. "I'll be about ten, fifteen minutes," she said, whipping the towel of her shoulder and going back into the coffee shop.

As soon as she was gone, Jon let Ulquiorra go from the bone-crushing hug that he had him in. He grabbed him by the arm and steered him towards the front of the bakery. His voice was quiet, so only Ulquiorra could hear him. "Get in your rental and go. She told me about what you said in the car; not all of it, but Orihime told me the gist of it. What gives you the right to say that kind of stuff to her?"

"Dad, I'm trying to apologize to her. She doesn't believe me."

"I wouldn't believe or trust you either!" Jon hissed. "You've not given her any reason to do so and you keep going back to Nel or doing some other dumbshit thing when given enough slack to hang yourself."

He sighed, knowing his dad was right. "I know. I'm done with Nel-"

"You always say that! I'm tired of hearing it!"

Ulquiorra pulled out his phone and showed his father the screenshots from Gamuza333. He looked almost like a kicked puppy. "No, you don't understand. I'm done," he stated.

Jon's mouth turned down as he looked at the screen and swiped to get to the new screenshot. "I'm not sorry but this was uncalled for on her part."

"I know."

"Go home. Everything is as it should be. I told Orihime she could use your room but she declined. , so you can use it."

"Well thanks for letting me use my own room," Ulquiorra said before he left the bakery.

***

Orihime was cleaning out behind the counter at the coffee shop, trying to pick up a carton of straws that had toppled over, half of the contents strewn across the floor. Both Renji and Shuhei had taken it upon themselves to supervise said task.

"Red, there's some over there, over- no, your other left!" Renji yipped at her in a condescending way.

"It would help if you said left in the first place," Orihime complained, punctuating the sentence with the word, "asshole" under her breath.

"Ren, calm down, she's got her hands full as it is," Shuhei chimed in softly, watching the barista intently.

None of them noticed Ulquiorra's return.

He watched her for several moments while she did what she needed to do, his eyes only leaving her form when the face tattoo guy said something. What the hell were those words supposed to mean? Why was this guy even in the shop? Why was he staring at Orihime? Finally when Ulquiorra had enough, he cleared his throat.

Face tattoo guy was the first to notice, turning his eyes toward his boss' son and elbowing Renji in the arm.

"Can I help you?" The crimson-haired assistant manager asked, rolling his eyes.

Ulquiorra ignored the man with the bright unnatural red hair. The guy with the tattoos got a disapproving glance as he walked over to the counter. He was only here for Orihime. "Hey, I'm going to go. I'll be waiting for you."

Orihime sat up on her heels from where she had been on hands and knees and blew some hair out of her face, wiping more of it away with the back of a hand full of straws. "Okay, see you later," she said, slightly dizzy from having her head down a moment ago.

"Hey, um, can I give you a hand, Orihime?" Shu asked quietly, moving toward the end of the counter. He sounded like he was afraid she might bite his head off.

"Thanks, Shu, I got it, I think," she said, sparing him a consolation smile. She knew he had been trying to get her attention and get on her good side. And it's not that she didn't care, she just… Well if she was honest she didn't care. She felt sorry for him, maybe. He didn't have a chance in hell, but that wasn't her problem.

Ulquiorra watched the guy, automatically not liking him. "Who are you? Why are you here?" he asked.

The short-haired man turned to look at Ulquiorra again. "I'm Shuhei Hisagi. You know me, I was friends of Pesche's? Kind of, anyway. Anyway I work for your dad next door. I'm here for coffee and to keep Renji in line." He remained soft spoken, even with Ulquiorra. This face-tattoo guy was kind of a lost bunny, it seemed, despite his punkish appearance.

A friend of Pesche's? From the stories he had heard, Nel had sex with almost all those dudes. He had to wonder if this Shuhei was one of them. Wait, Nel had bragged about Shuhei... Ulquiorra looked at him with mild disgust. "Ah. Pesche and his merry band of delinquents," he replied.

Shuhei's mouth turned down at the corners and he looked down and to the side. "Yeah, I guess. I'm really grateful to your dad for this opportunity, so I'm just trying to help out whenever I can…"

"Ulquiorra, don't pick on Shu." Orihime grumbled, not too loud, as she finally got to her feet. "Your dad really likes him," she added, giving Shuhei a fake kind of smile that was meant to be encouraging.

This made him scowl. Hmph. Maybe Orihime really liked him too. "Fine," he said. "I'll see you at home."

Orihime crossed her arms and watched him stomp out of the coffee shop, then huffed and rolled her eyes, before grabbing the towel on her shoulder and polishing the countertop vigorously.

"Damn. Looks like your boyfriend's pissed," Renji muttered, trying to get a rise out of her but playing it cool, examining a plastic cup like it was interesting.

Orihime scoffed. "Not exactly my boyfriend, Ren, but thanks for playing," she said. She sounded downright bitchy.

Shuhei raised his eyebrows and stood up. "I'll see you guys tomorrow? We're open until noon next door."

Renji nodded. "See ya."

"Yeah, sorry he gave you shit, Shu," Orihime said, then turned to Renji. "If I stay here anymore I'm going to break something. I'll see you."

***

Ulquiorra was tempted to go into Orihime's room. He wanted to see how she had made that space her own. Seeing as she had picked the guest room that was the farthest from his room, It kind of told him everything he needed to know. He shuffled back to his side of the hallway and entered his room. His bed was slightly rumpled. His desk didn't have any dust on it. Had she been in here recently? With a sigh, he left his bags at the foot of his bed and flopped face first onto the soft surface of the bed.

Oh. It smelled like her. Ulquiorra had to hold himself together. This wasn't the time to just fall apart. He needed to have his brain calm. He needed to be rational so that he could talk to Orihime without lashing out or as she said, shifting blame onto others.

About fifteen minutes later Orihime pulled into the driveway. She had stopped at a corner store and picked up some cranberry juice and ice cream and some other small grocery items Jon had asked her to pick up for the house. She started unpacking the three bags she had brought in with her. When she was done she filled a glass with ice and poured some of the cranberry juice into it, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. She had seen a strange car parked on the curb, and she figured it was probably Ulquiorra's rental, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had made a stop at Nel's first, she thought bitterly. She was really in a bad mood.

He heard someone moving around downstairs but Ulquiorra wasn't moving. He just wanted to stay in his bed and mope about the whole situation. He wanted to moan and complain about how unfair everything was. Nothing concerning relationships was how he expected it to be. Steve fucked up all the time and his dad was constantly taking him back. His mother had a new fling almost every other week from what he could tell.

His whatever he had with Orihime was nothing like either of his parents' relationships. His dad was probably so worn down from Steve he didn't want to deal with anyone else's bullshit. His mom probably kept everyone at an arm's length away because she was a career driven person who didn't want to deal with anyone else's baggage.

If that was Orihime she would have to come and find him. If it was a crazy killer or a criminal, oh well, he thought.

Orihime waited in the kitchen for about twenty minutes as she drank her juice, then wandered around the living areas. Ulquiorra was nowhere to be seen. She sighed. What a fucking waste of time today had been. There was no way Ulquiorra was actually sorry for any of the shit he had pulled. She was more convinced than ever that he was over at Nel's, probably fucking her silly just to prove some kind of point. Maybe they deserved each other.

She exhaled. No. Nobody deserved that.

She went to the music room and started to play the piano, just tapping out scales and arpeggios, finally segueing into the Final Fantasy Crystal Theme. She often played this piece when she wanted to calm her mind. It finally started to happen as she got through the chord progression for the third time, and she started to add small flourishes to the extended arpeggios and use the damper pedal to create an emphatic legato effect as she hummed the melody. She closed her eyes and let it go.

The piano was being played. That got him out of his bedroom. He wandered downstairs to the music room, leaning against the open doorway while she played. He watched as her fingers moved over the keys. His heart hurt. The last time they were in this room together they'd played for his dad's friends at the Thanksgiving party. Everything had gone to shit since then. It was all Ulquiorra's fault, too. He sighed.

She heard it. She stopped playing and turned around. "Jet lag?"

"Not really," he said as he walked over to where she sat. Ulquiorra might as well get this over with and he took a deep breath, "I want you to come back with me."

Her eyebrows drew together. "You do? You don't even seem to like me today."

He nodded. "Sometimes it seems like that you don't like me either. I miss you. I want to be near you. I want to make this up to you," Ulquiorra said. He then shook his head. "You don't believe a word I say though. You don't believe me when I apologize. You don't want to move on. You don't want me to move on. You're doing the same thing that I let Nel do to me. I keep asking you if we're over or if we're doing this and you never give me a straight answer, letting indecision be your answer."

"One, it's not indecision. It's wait and see. Two, you asked Nel if you were over and she didn't give you a straight answer? That's not the story either of you has told me before," she said and sighed. "I don't think you are actually sorry. Everytime it comes up, you try to defend yourself, like you were completely helpless in all of it. You also try to bring up Aizen harassing me as if that somehow absolves you from your wrongdoings. The fact remains that you betrayed me, and based on your attitude, I think that given the right conditions, you would do it all over again."

"If you can't trust me or you don't believe me then there's no point to any of this," Ulquiorra stated. He had to swallow back the ache in his chest and he turned around. He had to get away from her.

"I want to."

She wanted to? No she didn't. That's not what it sounded like to Ulquiorra. She wanted to play a game of wait and see. Sure, before Orihime physically came into his life he had what seemed like infinite patience. Now… not so much, and concerning this whole situation he was about at the end of his rope. "You believe what you want to believe. I'll believe what I want to believe and I don't believe you either Orihime," Ulquiorra said.

What the hell? Why had he come to Ohio then? Why had he come back from the airport after she brought him back? Why- Oh. For fuck's sake. "You didn't believe me when you got here. You didn't believe me before you came. This was all about sex, wasn't it?"

He shook his head, his back still turned from her. "I've not thought about sex since I left the last time. I have no desire to do anything like that with anyone. If it was just about sex I could find anyone. It's not about that."

"Okay then." She blew out the rest of her breath. "I don't know what you're trying to do here, then. Because coming home, demanding forgiveness, and then getting angry at me when I don't immediately give it to you is honestly baffling behavior." She had her phone in her pocket. She took it out and started scrolling a bit while she waited for his response.

Ulquiorra turned his head enough to watch what she was doing. What was she doing? "I'm not demanding it. I've told you I'm sorry about what happened. You don't think I've shown enough remorse. What do you want?" He asked turning around. "Do you want me to get on my knees and beg? Do you want me to humiliate myself to show I apologize? Do you enjoy hurting me because you're not strong enough to let me go? Just fucking rip open my chest Orihime and take my damn heart, if that's what you want. You don't want to believe me. You want to make me suffer. Is that it?"

Orihime didn't say anything. She tapped her phone's screen and turned up the volume. The sounds of a bass rhythm was heard first, then some sharp breathing, then the voices of Nel and Ulquiorra.

"You're playing dirty."

"I am not. Trust me, if I was playing dirty, I would have slipped something into your drink, Stupid."

"Did you?"

"No, do I look dumb? What does Vega have that I don't?"

"We're not talking about this."

"One chance is all I asked for."

"Nel, I gave you-Look, you're killing my buzz right now. Why don't you get me more of that tea stuff or more water. I need more water."

"It doesn't matter which one I give you. They both have alcohol in them."

"Can you at least take your hands off my face?"

"I like your hair like this."

"Don't. You know what that does."

"I do know. Does she do this?"

"I don't do the things that remind me of you."

"What reminds you of me?"

"Everything? How you used to be so bossy. The scratching thing. How you used to play with my piercings-"

"I noticed you don't have those in anymore."

"I had to grow up. Anyway, how rough I was with you. The way you'd give me head. All that."

"I can help refresh your memory."

"How? What makes you so sure I want a refresher course?"

"And here is where you really go for it," Orihime muttered as the video continued, showing Ulquiorra kneading Nel's breast and kissing her with intention.

"Do you remember the last time? You know the Friday before Vega came into your life?"

"Mmhmm."

"Didn't that feel good?"

"No. It feels better with her."

"What the fuck?!" The video was cut off there with Orihime's voice.

There was a pause after the video ended. "I made _you_ suffer?" she asked.

He turned his face away from her. He'd not listened to the audio of the video nor had he sought the footage out, just to relive the memory. He didn't enjoy dredging up painful memories. "Okay, you've made your point."

"I shouldn't have had to."

"You're right, you shouldn't have. I'll get my stuff and go back to L.A. You won't hear from me again, Orihime. Sorry I wasted your time," Ulquiorra said as he left the room. He had to do this quickly or otherwise it was just going to keep being a problem.

What a fucking baby. Nel was right about that one thing, at least. If he wanted to run away and not face his problems, that was his choice. She wasn't going to let him off easy though. She sent him the video. She sent it via text, email, and Instagram. Maybe it was vindictive but he kept saying he had put it behind him. Clearly he needed to put it in front of himself and do some soul searching.

After she heard the door to his room close, she went to her room and peeled off her clothes and got into bed. She was done chasing after him and trying to make things right.

As soon as he was inside of his room, he looked at his phone screen. He didn't want to see this. The urge to launch the device at the wall was overwhelming. Instead, he threw the phone onto the bed. Ulquiorra stood in the middle of his room, fist clenching. Everything inside of this room was his. He had paid for most of it with his money from working at the coffee shop. Blind rage was welling up inside of him. It was making it hard for him to keep calm. What could he do to calm down?

It was just stuff. It wasn't like he was ever going to come back to this place.

The mirror on his door was the first thing he smashed with the baseball bat he kept in the closet. The television mounted to the wall was next. Everything on the walls was smashed Ulquiorra saved the one thing he loved the most for last. As soon as the bat came into contact with the violin the force made the delicate wooden instrument explode like someone had placed an explosive inside of it.

The desk was broken after he removed his computer from it. The books from the bookshelves were thrown to the floor and all the little trinkets he had were broken.

Then Ulquiorra called his dad. He told the man goodbye and he wouldn't be coming back. He loaded his things into that rental car. Never in his life had Ulquiorra felt so angry. His lip curled as he saw Nel standing on the porch of her house. He flipped her off, feeling some satisfaction as she scampered away.

There were two more things he had to take care of as he went back into the house. He could render that piano useless by cutting all the wires. It would take time but it was his piano. His mom had bought it for him. Meh, let Orihime have it, he thought as he packed up his Fender guitar into the case. He wasn't surprised to see his dad standing in the foyer.

"What?" Ulquiorra yelled.

"What happened?"

He shrugged, not really wanting to have this conversation with his dad. "Ask her. Orihime's constantly shoving what happened at that party in my face. She doesn't want me and it was a mistake to come back here. I made a mistake on September fifth by revealing myself to her. I made a mistake the night I performed with her at Sado's. I made a mistake at that party. I made a mistake coming back here for your stupid Thanksgiving party and letting myself fall deeper in love with that red headed bitch! Why the fuck did you and Maria bring me into this world? You're gay and she didn't even want me. You know what? I don't even want an answer. You and mom can go fuck yourselves."

Jon was speechless as he watched his son walk out of the house carrying his guitar. His eyes were wide. He swallowed and slowly climbed the stairs to Orihime's room, which was down the hall from his own. "Orihime?" he called out.

He got his answer before he reached the top of the stairs. Orihime was standing in the hallway in a bathrobe, wiping blood off the bottom of her bare foot. "I'm sorry, I'll clean this up," was all she managed to say in a harsh whisper.

"What happened? Did he hurt you? What's going on?" Jon didn't like blood so the sight of it was unsettling.

"He smashed everything, I guess something glass got tracked out here and I stepped on it. I showed him the video of him and Nel. Then this happened. I… I'll clean this up," she repeated, tears starting to fall out of her wide eyes as she turned in a slow circle, trying to take in whatever the fuck just happened.

A heavy sigh left the man. "No, it's okay. Go sit down. I'll get something for your foot. He smashed everything?" There was no way that Ulquiorra would destroy any of his things. It didn't seem like a plausible idea. "Why did you show him the video? What is going on with you two?"

"I can't talk about it right now, Jon. I'll talk to you about it when I'm not nearly hysterical. But long story short, he acts like I should just get over it, and he got angry when I said I wasn't. I showed it to him to illustrate why I'm not."

The man sighed as he reached into the closet of the bathroom and picked out the small broom and dustpan that were there. His housekeeper insisted on having one on every floor to make her life easier. It just made it that much easier for Jon to clean up whatever aftermath awaited him across the hall. "Orihime, that wasn't angry. That was something else. My son has never raised his voice to me in all of his life. Ulquiorra has never said anything that cruel to me. He's-" Jon shook his head. "Take care of your foot. I'll see if there's anymore glass."

Orihime nodded and hobbled over to the bathroom. She opened a drawer and pulled out a tweezers to get a glass shard out of her foot, then put some antiseptic and a bandage on it. When she was done, she stood and looked at herself in the mirror. "It's over," she told her reflection. The woman in the mirror already knew.

She went back to her room and got dressed in some yoga pants and a sweatshirt and then joined Jon in the clean-up. She assured him that having a task at the moment would help her not freak out, so he didn't protest again. It didn't take long for her to have a trash bag full of debris.

"I'll take this out and come up with another bag," she said to Jon and went downstairs before he could argue. Trash collection was scheduled for the next morning so the bins were already out at the curb. She was surprised to see his car still on the street.

Orihime hobbled to the end of the driveway and looked up and down the street both ways before lugging the bag into the bin. She was afraid that he would be around and start losing his temper at her. Then she saw him. He was sitting in the driver's seat of the rental car, shaking.

She watched for a minute and felt confused. Why was he still here? Part of her wanted to go check to see if he was alright. Another part of her shouted warnings. She was nothing more than a bitch, according to him.

She stood there, watching him for a few more minutes. No. He didn't get to leave without saying goodbye to her. Not after everything. Not after whatever that was. She walked around the back of the rental car and to the door and tapped on the glass.


	9. Is This It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs that Orihime sings at Grimmjow's gig:  
> https://youtu.be/hcjqRK8e7o4  
> https://youtu.be/ZAfAud_M_mg  
> https://youtu.be/Q1xJZcZlLv4
> 
> Orihime's playlist for this series:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtTCNTKXeCnZcGAtfrJ9GkkQsYotkrjJv

He felt too livid to drive. He felt nothing but this anger inside of him. It was at himself. It was at his parents. He sat in the car for some minutes until the tears came and Ulquiorra just sat there and cried. He didn’t know why he was sobbing like a baby in front of his dad’s house. He’d never really cried before Orihime came into his life.

Then again, he never had a need for emotions or feelings.

The tap on the driver side window scared him. His head whipped to the side and he stared at her with bloodshot eyes which just accented the color of his irises. He turned the key in the ignition and rolled the window down. He had no clue what to say to Orihime.

She had no idea what to say to him, and stood there in silence for a good minute and a half, until she finally took a breath to speak, getting through “So is--” before her own tears choked her off.

This was horrible. This was nothing like the first time when he left for L.A. There were no feelings of reconciliation going on. They had nothing but animosity between them. He had to turn his face away from her. “Is what?” he managed to say.

“Is this it?” she asked, then coughed.

Was this it? Might as well be. She didn’t want to get over what happened. Orihime didn’t trust him. Ulquiorra didn’t want this to be it, but there was no point of continuing. “Moulin Rouge. Without trust there can be no love. It’s what the narcoleptic guy says before they break out into El Tango De Roxanne. So yeah, this is it,” he said turning back to her, with his lip quivering and voice wavering. He hated this feeling of being exposed.

She thought of all kinds of phrases to quote back to him, but she wasn’t coming up with anything satisfactory. It seemed like everything she had ever heard was to either give up and walk away and learn how to trust someone else or about working through issues and building trust back up. The latter seemed possible, but looking at him and remembering what he had said and his reaction, she knew he wasn’t willing to do it. “Trust once broken is not easily rebuilt. It’s work, but it’s possible to repair…” she sighed. She shook her head, tears streaking down her cheeks. “I don’t want this to be goodbye.”

It was hard for him to breathe at the moment. His chest felt tight. “You said goodbye the moment you sent that video to me. I had no wish to relive that night. I can’t help you if you can’t delete it and forgive me. I mean it’s not really goodbye. You know I’ll be stalking your YouTube and your Instagram.”

She frowned. He expected her to sweep everything under the rug. She couldn’t. “No. You said goodbye to me when you left me with Aizen.” She surrendered to the truth as she said it. “You said it when you talked to her on Instagram. You said it when that video of you two making out was made and when you planned on leaving me behind. You’ve been saying goodbye to me for months. I just was too stubborn to hear it. I hear it. I hear it now.” She hiccuped as she took one last breath in his presence. “I love you, Ulquiorra. Goodbye,” she whispered, turning and running back into the house as well as she could on her cut foot. She didn’t stop until she was in her room.

***

“Hey everyone! Welcome back! I’m Rangiku Matsumo, the face and voice behind It’s Ran! Today we have big, big news. It was rumored that Obscuras IV was seen mailing stuff from Ohio. Yeah, look at these pics I snagged from a viewer. Who knew he was a regular guy who used a shipping service? Anyway, the tea I have for you today… Hoo boy. As we all know there're several paparazzi and cameras that hang around in the airport. These images I am about to show you officially mark the beginning of a new era for Ulquiorra Cifer.”

The photo that popped up onto the screen showed Ulquiorra walking toward a woman with black hair that was braided and hung down her back. The next set of pictures showed Ulquiorra, wrapping his arms around the woman and kissing her full on the mouth. The woman seemed surprised in the first photo but the following pictures showed her practically melting into the embrace. 

Nanao paused the video and set her mouth in a thin line. “You were gone for two days and you managed to fuck everything up, Ulquiorra. What possessed you to kiss Nemu? The good news is this publicity stunt or whatever it is has landed you a gig on New Years Eve. You’re going to be performing live for some party. You’re going to be on TV.”

Ulquiorra sat at the boardroom table in that swivel chair and shrugged. He felt numb, like nothing mattered. It didn’t. He and Orihime were over. They were done. He had made a rash decision to kiss Nemu when he saw her in the terminal. He had asked for her to come get him. Three days passed by. He hadn’t talked to her since then and it was now December twenty-fifth. “Okay,” he replied. “Why did you bring me to Espada Records? Why couldn’t you have just sent me the link to the video and ripped my ass over the phone? It’s fucking Christmas.”

Two men walked into the room. One man wore sunglasses and had dreadlocks the other had a sneaky smile and silverish hair. “Ah, Mr. Cifer,” the silver-haired man said. “I’m Gin Ichimaru. This is my associate and business partner, Kaname Tosen.”

“So? What do you want? Where’s my mom?”

“Your mother asked us to personally oversee this project. She says that you’re rather difficult to work with. We’ve already decided what your album listing will be. Oetsu said that you wanted to include one song written by you. We’ve lined up your band. We’ve reserved studio space. Everything should be ready for the release of your album by March. June seems like too much time for you to fuck around,” Gin said with a smile. “There will be no more trips to other states and you are to follow our guidelines for appearances and such. Any questions?”

Ulquiorra opened his mouth but was cut off by the black man. “Good, now you need to practice this song that you’ll be singing at the New Years Eve party. Nanao is going to take you back home and your band members will be joining you shortly.”

***

Jon didn’t make Orihime come into work the next day or the next, and after that it was Christmas. She sat in her room for most of that time, grieving and staring at the CD Ulquiorra had left sitting on the piano for her. It was just a plain silver CD with a clear jewel case that said, “For Orihime” on it written in black permanent marker. She had not yet listened to it.

When the photo of him kissing Nemu came out, she felt like a fool. A damn, stupid fool. How could she have ever had hope in such a bold-faced liar? He had insisted that there had been nothing going on between him and the stylist. He swore up and down that he had returned to Ohio for her and her alone. Apparently those tears he had in the car before he left were from missing the black-haired bitch, not for her. 

The same day, she downloaded all the pictures from her Instagram account and then deleted everything, including her profile picture. She spent a day copying and pasting her old conversations with ObscurasIV and then turned off direct messaging. She turned off notifications. She wanted nothing to do with the social media site.

Likewise, she turned off commenting on her YouTube videos. She locked up her rarely used Facebook account, deleting all but the most close friends, and then changing her settings so she wouldn’t come up in searches. She didn’t have a Twitter or a Tumblr or any other social media. She didn’t want to be found. She didn’t want to be reminded.

Jon had come to her after he heard about his son and the stylist. He offered her a hug and told her, “I’m sorry honey. You didn’t deserve that.” She nodded.

The day after Christmas, she got a call from Ichigo.

“Heyyyyy! Merry Christmas!”

He sounded entirely to cheerful. “Yeah, yay,” she replied, sounding totally depressed.

“What are you doing for New Years?” Ichigo asked, undeterred by her tone.

“I dunno. Waiting for death. You?”

He laughed like it was funny. She didn’t think it was funny. “I’m going to this party that Grimm is playing. We are wondering if you want to come and do some vocals. Live and prerecorded.”

Hmmm. She considered this. Distraction might be good. “Where is it?”

Ichigo told her he’d send her the information and to get off of work on the thirtieth and thirty-first for pre-recording, rehearsal and then the party. “Oh, and Hime?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about Oliver.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and wear something sexy. This is a grown-up party.”

Orihime rolled her eyes and hung up without saying goodbye. She had some songs to learn.

***

Everything was gone.

The photos.

The ability to contact her.

The ability to comment on the videos.

It was all gone. 

He could text her. He could email her. Ulquiorra would probably get blocked and deleted faster than anything. 

He also had another problem on his hands. Nemu finally contacted him.

{ ? - NK

Ulquiorra didn’t know what to say to her. How could he have just kissed her to see what it was like and to prove to Orihime that she was right? She wasn’t right. He was being a petty person and just assuring her that her fears were valid.

It was hard to focus though. He kept going over the words he had said to Orihime. He kept going over the words that he said to his father. 

His phone rang. “Hello?” he answered.

“You haven’t been eating have you?” Nemu asked.

Of course it was her. Of course she was asking questions. “No, I’ve not eaten since the day I’ve left,” he answered.

He could hear her sigh. “At least you’re honest,” Nemu replied. “Do you need anything?”

Did he need anything? Ulquiorra needed a lot of stuff. He wanted stuff that he couldn’t have. He wanted to take back everything he had said to Orihime. He wanted to go back to the very beginning and undo everything. “No, I’m good. I’ve got to practice, so I’ll talk to you later.”

It was the truth that he had to practice but he wasn’t going over the song he had to sing for New Years Eve. He was doing a new YouTube video.

***

Orihime agreed to do the show and got the time off, but she had a few conditions. She had spoken to Grimmjow on the phone the day after Ichigo called and told him she would do the show for next to nothing if he would do three songs of her choosing. After running the songs past him he agreed.

Orihime said goodbye to Jon and Steve early on the thirtieth. Steve was more than happy to watch her go. “Good riddance,” he cheered with a little first pump as she pulled out of the driveway. “Happy naked New Years to us!”

Jon rolled his eyes and went back inside without a word.

When Orihime arrived at Grimmjow’s place, it was nothing but work until late on the thirtieth and a semi-early start on the thirty-first. They got all the backing tracks laid down and were able to work on the mix and the performance part sufficiently. All that was left to do was to get ready and go.

“No. That’s a no, Hime,” Ichigo said, looking at her reflection in the mirror from behind.

“What? You said sexy.”

“I meant like, normal young person sexy, not appealing to the senior citizens,” he said, looking up and down sequined gown she held up with disapproval.

“Okay… that distinction would have been more useful to me _before_ I drove down here!” she snapped.

Ichigo sighed. “What else did you bring?”

She was in no mood. She kicked open her suitcase and barked. “Just pick something.”

He saw a black leather skirt. He saw a black bra-looking thing. “Your nips don’t show through this, do they?” he asked, flinging the black lingerie in her direction.

“No, in point of fact, they don’t, but technically this is just a bralette with a bit of lace that covers the top part of my stomach, not a top.”

“Oh please, it’s hot. Wear it. It looks like a croptop thing anyway.”

Orihime shrugged. She hadn’t forgotten what he told her last time she changed with him in the room. “Turn around if you enjoy having your balls in place,” she warned as she started pulling her pants down.

Ichigo laughed. “You’re learning. Oh, this jacket is good too,” he said, kicking Hailey’s distressed silver biker jacket in her direction. “Hailey, you don’t mind if you two swap jackets tonight, do you?”

“Oh, you memorized her name, Ivan? Well done,” Orihime said sarcastically as she wiggled her parts into the bra. “You can turn around now.”

Hailey entered the room at that moment and wolf-whistled. “Looking good!” she said with a sunny smile. The blonde picked her jacket up off the floor. “You are more than welcome to borrow my jacket as long as you treat it better than this neanderthal does.

“You losers ready to roll? We’ll be late-- Nice,” Grimmjow said as he walked into the room and looked Orihime up and down.

Ichigo scowled as they packed everything up and got into the car and off to the venue. 

“Okay, we’ll start with my first set as written and then as we get closer to midnight we’ll pepper in your songs, ‘kay?” Grimmjow said, not really asking, as he made adjustments to a list on his iPad as Orihime drove.

“Sure. Whatever. Hailey, you’ll record my songs, though, right?”

  
  
The young woman nodded. 

All they had left to do was perform.

***

In the end Ulquiorra didn’t upload the song he wanted to do. Nanao said it was pointless. “You’re fronting as a rock artist. You don’t cover country songs. I can see pop songs but not country. Also don’t you think it’s a bit lame if you’re trying to get her back but you’re the one who broke up with her?” the assistant offered. “Maybe Espada Records could bill you as an emo act and we could bring back some of those blasts from the past.”

“It was the words I was more concerned with than the music. There are guys out there who do rock covers all the time.”

“Too bad, I said no.”

“What about this one?” He asked, pointing at a song title. 

“Sing it for me but really, Ulq, you should be practicing for the show.”

“I know and I will.”

Nanao finally let him record the song and he posted it. He could hear himself in the studio, listening to the recording over the speakers.

“ _Your fingertips across my skin, the palm trees swaying in the wind… Images..._ ”

He closed his eyes letting the pain wash over him. It hadn’t been very long since he had said goodbye to Orihime. It still ached terribly. Once it was uploaded and the comments were coming in, Ulquiorra kept his promise to Nan and went through his New Years Eve song a couple of times.

***

Orihime sounded perfect; her melancholy, flute-like vocals soared over the dance tracks Grimmjow was mixing. But she sounded the best on the three he agreed to do for her. The first was a reprise of the Seven Lions song she had recorded after Ulquiorra’s night with Nel at the party, _Let Go_. The first time she had recorded it it sounded haunting and lovely. This time it was ethereal and gorgeous against Grimmjow’s work. People were uploading it.

It helped that she used the stage name Vega Strife. She thought the name better suited her emotional state. Some people were tagging her and a couple tagged Ulquiorra. It only took a couple people at the show to do it for it to start spreading around, not that Orihime would know. She was off social media.

The next song more driving and angsty. She was singing this one to Ulquiorra. She had been the one who encouraged him; who gave him guidance toward the success he was now experiencing. He had told her many times that without her, none of this would have happened. That feeling of being used up and left behind seeped into her vocals as they covered Halsey’s Without Me, and Hailey filmed the chorus with Orihime looking directly into the camera as she sang:

_Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there_

_Feeling so high but too far away to hold me_

_You know I'm the one who put you up there_

_Name in the sky_

_Does it ever get lonely?_

_Thinking you could live without me..._

The last of her songs of the night was played just after midnight, was very danceable, not as well-known as the other two. This was the one she wanted to sing most of all. The lyrics truly captured how she felt. She just wanted this constant, throbbing pain she felt to all just go away.

_...Oh I scream out hoping someday i'll cease to remember,_

_But the feeling left behind is stuck with me forever._

_When we first kissed, when we last touched, when you first said I love you, love you so much,_

_How we was frail, how we was strong, how we was right how we, how we went wrong._

The chorus was not better than the verses. She squeezed her eyes shut and sang it at nearly top volume, pouring all of her energy into it and hoping that somehow, someway, the lyrics might transform into a spell and become realized. 

_Let me forget, make it erase, let me move on, let me, let me escape._

_Every aching memory reminds me that I need ya_

_I'm begging for amnesia._

When she was done, she had to sit down. She had to sit down for the next two songs.

When the party was over she went home with Hailey. She thanked her for recording. She uploaded the live versions the woman had filmed and linked them to Grimmjow’s website where the isolated, remixed audio versions would be uploaded by morning, and went to bed.

She didn’t expect much to come of it. 

***

Ulquiorra watched the videos. He also had found the bar where his mother kept the booze. He had orange juice in the fridge. Nursing a screwdriver, he was inebriated when Nemu walked in the door.

He looked at her with half-closed eyes from his reclined position on the couch. “What?”

“Are you drunk?”

“Yeah, my mom should hide the vodka better,” he said.

“Reviews came in from your set,” Nemu stated. “Nanao would have brought them down but her kid is sick and--”

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. “Wait, Nanao has a kid?”

“It’s not her kid. It’s more of her half sister… Lisa got sick with the flu a couple of days ago and Nan has been taking care of her.”

His initial surprise died down. “Oh,” he replied. “Sit down, Nemu. You’re making me nervous.”

She sat down beside him with her back straight, hands on her lap. “People enjoyed your performance and thought that you were authentic, which is surprising; you were playing on the roof of a Los Angeles hotel.”

“I don’t care, Nemu. I don’t. I mean great job for making me look human last night but--” She had leaned over and kissed him, effectively shutting him up. Ulquiorra’s eyes widened and he pulled away from the consultant. “Why?”

“Why did you kiss me? For publicity?”

Ulquiorra had to look away from Nemu. “No.”

She was silent as she waited for an answer.

“I did it because Orihime accused me of it being just sex. I don’t even think about it. The only time it even crosses my mind is if I’m thinking about Orihime. So if it was just sex I could pick up any chick I wanted. I felt nothing while kissing you.”

“Yeah it was weird. Still nothing,” she stated. “Have you eaten today?”

“No, does it look like I’m in any condition to eat? I can barely stand.”

“Did you eat at the party? Do you want a shake?”

Ulquiorra sighed. “No, I want to be left alone. I want to drink this stuff and I just want to watch this over and over.”

Nemu frowned. “You don’t have to suffer this alone.”

He scoffed and tossed back the rest of the contents of his glass. “Look Nemu, If you stay I’m probably gonna do something stupid like have sex with you. I happen to have hormones when I’m really drunk. I don’t want that. I don’t want to regret it or feel sorry for myself afterwards. It’s just best you go.”

Ten minutes later after he was alone, he texted Orihime. Speaking of hormones… his body was starting to respond to the alcohol.

\- looked hot from the videos. Outfit was nice that bad habit was perfect. You should send me some photos. Lol since you deleted everything. I’m drunk and I want you.

Orihime was driving back up to the Cifer residence when the text came through. She did not stop to read it. 

\- I still have the panties I took from you. I wanna feel your ass in them.

Her phone chimed again. She was getting a bit worried, so she pulled over into a gas station parking lot to check. Then she read. Son of a bitch.

  * You had your chance a week ago.



She sat and stared at the message before she sent it, wondering if she should even respond at all. Hell with it, though. He was drunk. He probably won’t even remember.

Ulquiorra glanced at her text and sighed. Hadn’t he offered a week ago? Hadn’t he fought those urges?

\- I offered, you rolled your eyes. Believe me I tried. Had to let those damn feelings get in the way of it. I wanna send you a pic. Lol

Oh. Okay. She should know better. She rolled her eyes at herself and him and got back on the road. She wanted a pic, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

She considered playing his CD. She still hadn’t listened to it. She was afraid. It could go in so many different directions but all of them would end in tears and heartbreak, so she ignored the impulse. She had a long way to drive still.

Oh she wasn’t going to answer him? Okay, he knew how to fix that. He called her.

She didn’t answer. She was driving. But her hands started to tremble as she gripped the steering wheel. She wanted to hear his voice again. She wanted to know why he was reaching out to her. She wanted it to be more than just a drunk dial. She was an idiot. She pulled over.

“Hello?”

Missed call. It had already gone to voicemail. She was equally disappointed and relieved.

Ulquiorra looked at the phone and tried again. He was getting hot with his t-shirt and sweatpants on. Damn alcohol making him warm. “Cmon Veggs.”

Fuck, he was calling again. At this rate she wasn’t going to make it home before dark. She took the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he said to her, his words only slurring slightly. “What are you up to?”

“I’m trying to drive home,” she said. Her voice sounded uncomfortable.

Ulquiorra looked confused for a moment, not that she could see it. Why was she trying to drive home? “You didn’t reply to my text,’ he said.

“I couldn’t. I was driving. I had to pull over to reply to the one I did. I’m on the side of the highway right now.”

That made sense. “Ah, I played a gig in LA last night. I supposedly was on TV. I’ve been watching those videos of you all day.”

“Maybe me and your dad can watch your show online somewhere?” God she felt like she sounded like his mother. “Anyway, did everything sound okay in the videos?” Damn her insecure artist’s need for validation. She wanted to hear his opinion though. She also wondered if he had an opinion on her song selections.

“Honestly, I was too busy watching you and your body to pay attention much to the singing. The parts I did catch were good. You, uh,” Ulquiorra paused for a moment. “You remixed that one song you did for me.”

“Yep. I did two other songs about you, too. The rest were Grimmjow’s,” she told him. She didn’t have much hope that he would figure it out though. “Why are you drunk?”

She sang songs about him? Oh. That hurt. Even the alcohol couldn’t mask that pain. “I keep thinking about you. I can’t function. Figured drinking might help. It kinda makes me feel a different way though.”

“Yeah. It hasn’t done you many favors in the past.”

“I’m getting horny. Send me some photos.”

“Doesn’t your new girlfriend have any for you?”

He huffed. “Girlfriend? What girlfriend?”

“Oh, you know, the one you kissed at the airport. The one you swore up and down was like a sister to you. You said that about Nel, too, come to think of it. Is that some kind of kink?”

“When you saw me kiss Nel the first time we weren’t dating or fucking or whatever the hell we did to each other. The second time, we were. I accept that,” Ulquiorra said. “When I kissed Nemu I was single. She’s not my girlfriend. And you don’t get to bitch about it. You ran away too.”

“I’m not bitching. You asked for pics. I’m asking if you can’t get what you need from your current projects. Bad habits are for boyfriends only.”

Hmph. “You could have just replied no. I could have just sent the dick pic and got blocked.”

Orihime was starting to lose her patience. “Ulquiorra, what are you doing? You shouldn’t be drinking. You destroyed a room. Your violin. You are burning bridges and you think drunk dialing me is going to make anything better? You need help.”

“I’ve never broken up with anyone. What the fuck am I supposed to be doing since you’re so fucking wise with your multitude of boyfriends?” Ulquiorra asked. He decided to ignore everything else she said. 

“Multitude? Maybe I have gone out with more people than you but I’ve never been in love before this so I don’t know what the fuck to do. I’m hurting too.”

“Didn’t you love Mr. Brazil?”

“I told you, I thought so at the time. He was the first. I had no idea. I got over it quickly though, so it wasn’t love. I don’t know how I’m going to get over you.”

Ulquiorra bit his lip and scowled. Well he knew what the treatment for getting rid of a hard on was. Talking to Orihime about this subject had killed his desire. He sighed. “Go find someone with an amazing dick. I’m sure you’ll get over it. I on the other hand feel nothing for anyone but you. Nemu kissed me again today and I kinda felt disgusted by the idea of anyone else touching me.” 

“Well, we have that in common.” She sighed and shook her head. “I have to go, Ulquiorra. It’s getting dark and I have a long way to go.”

He wanted to beg for her to stay on the phone with him and work this out. He wanted to tell her that he still loved her and missed her. It wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter. Orihime wouldn’t believe him anyway. “Yeah. Drive safe and sorry I bothered you,” he said. “Won’t happen again.”

She was going to say something nice but in the end she just said goodbye and hung up. This was just too painful. She blinked tears out of her eyes and drove back. Maybe tonight was the night to listen to the CD. Maybe not. Maybe she should tell Jon about Ulquiorra’s show first. Yeah, that was a better plan. She could listen to the CD and break into a million pieces later.

A few hours later, she was on the couch with Jon in the living room, looking at her laptop. Steve stood behind the furniture and looked on overhead as she brought up the footage of Ulquiorra’s New Year’s Eve performance.

“He sounds great,” Orihime murmured as he sang Local H’s Bound for the Floor. “I’ve always liked this song.” She wiped a tear out of her eye as the song came to an end.

Jon gave her shoulder a squeeze.

Steve scoffed. “What a crybaby.”

Jon looked over his shoulder at his boyfriend, offended. “You can leave, you know.”

The second song was an original. It was uptempo and catchy. Orihime was silent until it was over and the clip ended. “Well, he was great,” she said, smiling at Jon and folding up her laptop. “I’m going to go to bed early. Happy new year,” she said and left to go to her bedroom.

Once she was there, she plugged her headphones into her laptop and started the CD. She would never be ready for what she heard. Ulquiorra’s spoken voice came through her earpieces and she began to cry almost immediately.

“Hey Orihime. I know this is a silly gift but I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. How much I love you.” 

Hawthorne Heights - Ohio Is For Lovers

“I was an idiot. I was a fool. I'm not used to being with someone. All I have is what I've seen from my dad and my previous fucked up association with Nel.”

Gomez - Notice

Lou Barlow - Home

Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm

Nelly Furtado - Picture Perfect

Quindon Tarver - Everybody's Free

“I know my song selection might seem fucked up but it makes sense to me.”

Poets of the Fall - Fragile

Oasis - Don't go away

Tracey Bonham - All Thumbs

Wallflowers - Closer to You

Coldplay - Fix You

“I think about you and I can't breathe. Sometimes at night to get to sleep I have to imagine the pillow I'm holding is you. I miss you. I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for being a selfish prick. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” 

Hallelujah

“I hate to think that is all we have. If it is, I just want you to know how much you changed my life and that you’re always going to be the first for me. My first romantic love. The first person I allowed that deep into my heart. The first person I made love to. I will love you until my dying day.”

She could die, it hurt so much. The stabbing sensation in her heart made her choke and scream into her pillow. Why had it all gone to shit? She didn’t have any answers when she finally passed out from exhaustion.

***

The next day, Orihime wrote a letter to Ulquiorra. A real, pen to paper letter. In it she wrote a response to the words in his CD. She addressed it care of Espada Records. She still didn’t know where he lived. It didn’t matter now. She was sure he’d never even get it.

The next day she was back to work. Back to her flat, loveless, musicless life.


	10. Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This is the version we had in mind that shows how Orihime and Shu's duet sounds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIA_vrBDC1g&list=PLtTCNTKXeCnZcGAtfrJ9GkkQsYotkrjJv&index=12&t=0s)   
>  [Orihime's Playlist for this series, includes the other Orihime/Shu/Kira songs](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtTCNTKXeCnZcGAtfrJ9GkkQsYotkrjJv)

His stomach was burning. Ulquiorra felt jittery. He knew he probably needed to eat. His diet of screwdrivers, protein shakes, salads and coffee probably wasn’t a good thing for him. He was laying on the huge couch with Nemu cuddled beside him.

He didn’t know how it happened. 

One day they were sitting there and then they were watching a movie, her head on his shoulder. That’s as far was it went. There were the two kisses and the cuddles.

Nemu wasn’t interested. He wasn’t interested. It was nice to have her close by. She kept him in check. Whenever he would start thinking or talking about Orihime, she would give him something to do or place her hand over his mouth. They respected each other’s boundaries.

“You’re shaking,” she said in a sleepy voice.

“I’m fine.”

“You need to eat. You’re going to seriously screw up your metabolism if you keep doing this,” she stated. It was always facts with her. There were never feelings involved. She was more analytically minded than he was. “When was the last time you ate? I don’t mean picked at a salad; I mean sat down and ate.”

“Back in December before I got on the plane to go to Ohio.”

“Ulquiorra, it’s February now.”

He knew that. He was quite aware of the time that had passed by. It had been thirty days since he had contacted Orihime. It had been a long time since she commented on a photo, liked anything he posted, or even sent him a message. She was probably doing what he told her to do to get over him. She was probably having hot sex with some other guy and forgetting he ever existed. 

No. She wasn’t like that. Orihime wasn’t one for random one-offs and hookups. He sighed.

“We could go for a drive. Have you ever been to the Santa Monica Pier?”

***

“You could always ask Shu,” Renji said, watching her sweep the floor and being completely unhelpful.

“What, does he play an instrument?” Orihime asked. This surprised her. She had occasionally hung out with Jon’s other employees after work, just to get a bite or sit around after close and drink coffee. It had never come up before that Shuhei was a musician.

“He’s kinda shy about it, Red. If he knew I told ya, he’d probably murder-- no he would not, that pussy would go hide in a corner and cry.” Renji laughed. He was obliviously cruel. Often.

“What’s his story anyway, Ren? What’s with the face tattoos?”

Renji looked around. The shop was already closed and it was a Saturday, so the bakery had closed much earlier. “Well, did you know he had just gotten out of jail before he got this job?”

Orihime’s head snapped up and she came closer to Renji, leaning on her broomstick, in full gossip mode. “No! Does Jon know?!”

“Of course. I vouched for him. He’s a good guy, Red, he just got mixed up with some bad people. He got picked up for possession with intent to deliver, but really that dumbass Pesche sent him on an errand to give a bag of goodies to someone who ended up being an undercover cop. Shu would never rat anyone out, though, so he ended up serving nine months.”

“Wow, that sucks,” Orihime commented. She did not mention that she thought he had made his own bed, so her sympathy points were restricted to the betrayal from the “friend” in this story. “So the tattoos are prison tatts?”

Renji laughed. “Not prison, Red. County jail. And no, the tatts are in honor of his Uncle Ken who died in a motorcycle accident.”

Orihime cringed. “But they’re on his face, though.”

Renji knit his brows. “Yeah, so?”

“Are you for real, Renji? He has the number sixty-nine tattooed ON HIS FACE.” This guy had to have a screw loose if he didn’t recognize that this might be problematic.

“What? His uncle liked fucking, I guess.”

Orihime rolled her eyes and raised her brows. “Wow.”

“So are you saying you wouldn’t give him a chance?” Renji was acting slightly offended.

“I’m not saying that. I’d have to see how he is, first. I’m not even sure where we could record. Ulquiorra destroyed--”

“Yeah, don't go there, Red. I can’t deal with your ugly snotty crying face again. I mean, it’s been like a month and you still can’t talk about that dipshit without acting like a crybaby. Let’s call it a night, yeah?”

***

It turned out that there were a lot of young guys who had dreams of being rockstars one day, so it wasn’t too difficult to find a place to record. Shu was one such guy. She went over to his place with Renji after work the following Monday. She had received a silent, disapproving glare from Jon before she left. She assured him she would be home shortly.

Shuhei’s apartment was in a run-down part of town with more shuttered businesses than open ones and more cars with over one-hundred thousand miles on them than not. Still, his place was clean and comfortably furnished with hand-me-down or thrift store furniture, and he offered Renji and Orihime a drink as they walked in.

“Your place is nice, Shu,” Orihime commented.

“Thanks,” came the bashful reply.

“You know she’s not going to bite ya, right?” Renji said. He had had about enough of the younger man’s pitiful attempts to talk to the woman. “I’ll have a beer.”

“Wait a minute, how old are you guys?” Orihime asked as Shu retrieved a cold bottle from the fridge. 

“I’m twenty-two,” he said. “Renji’s twenty-five, right?”

The bright-haired man nodded as he accepted the bottle. “Now, this old man wants to hear some music, so hop to,” he said, flopping his long form down on the threadbare sofa, taking up the entire space.

Orihime watched him with distaste, but then startled when she heard Shu’s voice from close behind her ask, “Can I get you a drink? I have water, diet coke… I could make some tea or coffee?”

After she got over her surprise she turned around. He _was_ close. Closer than he had ever been. It forced her to look up to see his face. He looked down at her with kind eyes. She found herself thinking that without the perverted ink, he had kind of a handsome face. His eyes were narrow, but soft. He had nice features. A cold feeling settled in her chest before she realized what she was doing. She was comparing him to Ulquiorra. Shuhei didn’t stack up. “I’ll take a water, please,” she finally replied, noting how he smiled and blushed when she looked at him. Crap.

“Coming right up,” he said gently. He was always like that. He was always talking to her like she was some kind of delicate flower. She didn’t like it. She didn’t want to have to let him down, which she would have to do eventually if he didn’t lose interest on his own.

After everyone was situated, Shuhei sat on a stool and started playing guitar. He was good. Quite good. Not as good as Ulquiorra, but good. Orihime smiled at him and at Renji. This could work. They could do shows together. God, she would love to perform again. She missed it. Her soul missed the connection with an audience.

But what happened next, neither she nor Renji were prepared for. Shu started to sing. Oh. My. God. That gentle voice he used for her? He sang with it, too. It was magic. 

Renji looked over at Orihime with wide eyes and lifted an arm, looking at the hairs standing on edge pointedly. He was feeling it too. Shuhei had pipes.

Orihime also had goosebumps. This was going to be very interesting.

***

Half of the album was done. Tosen and Ichimaru had brought in this brilliant songwriter named Wonderweiss to help Ulquiorra complete the song he was writing. The guy was mute, but when given things to write with, words flowed through him.

The song he set out to write for Orihime became some heartbreaking ballad with a haunting melody. He played through it for the two label execs who gave the green light to put it on the album.

As Ulquiorra played the guitar riff for it, Wonderweiss nodded along from the other side of the recording booth beside Oetsu Nimaiya. He could only hope that this was better than the shitty version he’d come up with.

After the vocals were done and Oetsu said he’d take care of the rest, Ulquiorra got into Nemu’s car with her. It was only a week until Valentine’s day. He had already ordered his mother some flowers. It was a bouquet of geraniums, foxglove, yellow carnations and orange lilies. He had seen a post on the internet somewhere that said those were the flowers to tell someone fuck you. He had ordered Nemu a single yellow rose. He had called the local florist in his hometown.

“You want a dozen red roses and a dozen sterling roses and a dozen pink roses sent to Occhi Verde on February fourteenth?” The woman on the phone asked. 

“Yes and I want them mixed together into three vases. You do have nice vases, right?”

“Yes sir,” she said.

Ulquiorra told the florist that he didn’t want any card to be sent with the flowers. Orihime would probably figure out it was him who sent them. “Actually...Nevermind. They’re to be given to Orihime Inoue, and only her. I think if you give them to her around the afternoon, it’ll be fine.”

Once he paid and was off the phone, he didn’t feel any better. Ulquiorra should have been taking Orihime out to a fancy dinner and presenting her with a box of bad habits. He should have been screwing her brains out in the pool or the hottub. 

He let the sigh go before he realized whose company he was in. 

“Stop thinking about it. You’ve got to focus on this radio interview. You’re going to be singing Bound for the Floor. The studio has already provided a guitar so you’ll be set--”

“I mean, I don’t mind you picking me up, but where is Nanao today?” Ulquiorra asked, interrupting Nemu.

“Lisa’s sick again. Their parental figure is always away on business so, Nan has to kind of step up and take care of her.”

Oh. It seemed like this Lisa was getting sicker and sicker. While Nanao was playing nursemaid, Nemu had stepped in and taken over the role of his assistant in a seamless manner. It made Ulquiorra think that she had been one before she was a dietician and image consultant. “Okay,” he said.

“Do you want to get lunch before the interview? It’s also going to be streamed to YouTube so people will see you,” Nemu said while she drove. “Your face is looking… haunted. I brought your makeup case just--”

“I don’t like wearing it and you know it.”

“I have to make you look livelier than the corpse you’re trying to imitate.”

Tch. “I look fine. I’m just irritable.”

“When’s the last time you slept more than two hours at a time? When’s the last time you relaxed? When is the last time you let go of whatever it is you’re holding onto?” Nemu’s words were effective and cut into his thoughts.

“The night I left Ohio after the Thanksgiving party my dad threw,” he replied.

“Why?”

“I had Orihime in my arms. Everything between us was okay.”

“Well get over it, she’s not here and she doesn’t want to be here,” Nemu stated. “You need to focus on your career, not just your former girlfriend.”

Ulquiorra turned his head and scowled at Nemu. What the hell did she know? Maybe Orihime did want to be here. Maybe he had hurt her so badly that the thought of Los Angeles broke her. He didn’t know! “What are you suggesting?”

“Have lunch.” Nemu was intent on the road so he took a moment to stare at her. She had jet black hair like his own. Her eyes were green, too, but they seemed like they switched colors depending on the lighting. “Get a massage. Do something for yourself. When is the last time you got off?”

“What?”

Nemu rolled her eyes. “Just answer the question.”

“November twenty-fourth.”

“Maybe you should do that. You might relax a bit.”

***

Shu was not only a great singer, his voice also complimented Orihime’s in an unprecedented way. They started practicing together after work a couple times a week at his place.

Jon Cifer was not pleased. After about a week and a half of this, he decided to make his displeasure known.

On February thirteenth, he called Orihime into his office to chat.

“What is it?” she asked, taking the seat on the other side of his desk.

“Orihime, you’re a good kid. I think the world of you, I hope you know this,” Jon said as he sat with his hands folded on the desktop.

“Thanks,” she said, simultaneously flattered and baffled.

“That being said. What the hell are you doing? I know you’re trying to move on from Ulq. I understand that, but...”

Orihime’s face took on a look of confusion. “But what? I’m trying to get over it… I haven’t been able to,” she paused, starting to get emotional already. She pressed her lips together and swallowed to keep it together. “I haven’t moved on yet.”

Jon frowned. Did she not see the way the kid with the face tattoos looked at her? “Shu’s a good kid. He really is, but… He’s been in jail. I know it wasn’t his fault, but I worry. I don’t want you to get pulled into some bad business. If Shu treats you well that’s okay. I know he’s vastly different than Ulquiorra.”

Ah. He totally misunderstood, Orihime thought. “Jon, you don’t understand. We’re just making music. That’s all,” she said, smiling as if that settled the matter. “I’ll get back if that’s all, and see you at home?”

***

The next day was Valentine’s Day. Occhi Verdi was running specials on abominations like strawberry lattes and heart-shaped cookies from Cifer Confections. So many high schoolers. So many basic bitches. So much work. Orihime was tired before half of her shift was over. 

The bell on the door chimed around four-thirty. “Welcome to Occhi Verdi, we have some--” Orihime turned to see who had come in and stopped speaking. It looked like a rose garden with legs.

“What’s all this?” Orihime asked as the deliveryman set the three vases on the counter.

“Delivery for Orihime Inoue?”

“That’s me,” she answered, confused.

“Sign here please.”

Orihime did and looked over the bouquets of red, pink, and her favorite, lavender sterling roses. “Wait, there’s no card. Who are these from?” She had a decent idea, but still.

“Sorry, I can’t say. Policy to protect people’s privacy.” The delivery man said before he jogged back out. Valentine’s day was especially busy for the floral industry.

“What’s all of this? Why are they on my counter?” Renji asked, coming out of the coffee shop’s dinky office. “Shu, why did you order so many roses?”

The question was directed to the guy behind him.

Shuhei looked around Renji’s tower of messy red manbun and saw the flowers on the counter. His mouth fell open, speechless.

“You?” Orihime looked at Shuhei with a look of confusion.

“Of course he did it,” Renji replied with a smirk. “He’s been moping and mooning over you. I told you flowers were a way to a girl’s heart. I didn’t expect all of this.”

Orihime’s cheeks turned bright red. She had known that Shuhei had a little crush on her, but she didn’t expect it to be this full-blown. “Shuhei…”

He finally found his voice. “No! No, they’re not from me,” he admitted, cringing. He _had_ ordered her flowers. They were waiting for her at the Cifer residence as they spoke. They were nothing compared to this. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna go…”

Orihime smiled then. She was glad to hear that they weren’t from her music buddy. “Don’t worry about it, Shu. You don’t have to leave just because Captain Dipstick can’t be cool. I didn’t think they were from you or that you were mooning. That’s just silly.”

“Uh, yeah,” Shu said. “I gotta get back to work, though.” Shuhei glared at Renji and took quick steps back toward the bakery.

“Why did you do that, Ren? You embarrassed him!”

Renji scratched the back of his head. “Uh, I thought he got you flowers. He was talking about it. If he didn’t send these who else would have done it?”

Orihime rolled her eyes. He was oblivious as usual. “I’ll go put these out in my car. They should be okay out there.”

“Oh, no, keep one by the register, it looks nice and festive,” Renji said before going back into his office.

***

When Orihime got home that night, she was greeted by Steve, holding a small bouquet of mixed flowers.

“Hey, Steve, nice flowers,” Orihime commented, carrying one of the vases of roses inside.

“These are for you and what are those? Who sent them?” Steve asked following after Orihime.

“I don’t know. They were anonymous. There’s more,” she said, setting them down and going back out to the car to get the other two. She returned seconds later and set the rest down. “I have a guess, do you?”

“MORE?” Steve screeched. “They can’t be from that convict you’re dating. He sent this paltry thing.”

Orihime’s mouth fell open for a moment and then snatched the flowers from Steve. “I’m _not_ dating a convict, much less anyone else, thank you!” she snapped. She looked at the card from Shu.

_Happy Valentine’s day. Thanks for singing with me! -Shu_

She smiled. Her face relaxed. That was a sweet sentiment. It didn’t necessarily have a secondary meaning. She’d send him a thank you message later. Then she remembered that Steve was there.

“Yeah, the roses are not from Shu. I’m going to go ahead and guess your de facto step-son is feeling nostalgic.”

Steve snorted. “You might want to give him a call then. Dinner is whatever you can find in the kitchen, by the way. Jon’s taking me out tonight.”

“Okay,” she said, wondering if he was right. She sat in the kitchen for a long time just thinking. After ten minutes she tapped out a message to Shu.

  * Thank you for the flowers. They are lovely :) Sorry about Renji today. He’s oblivious and mean. And also, thank *you* for singing with me! I’m really looking forward to recording on Sunday!!!



Orihime got off her ass and looked in the fridge. There was leftover pasta that Jon had made a couple days ago, so she took that out and popped it in the microwave. After it was done, she ate it in silence, staring at the flowers. It was a big gesture. It deserved a response. She just didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t decide. Maybe she should just take Steve’s advice. He was a dumbass. Reaching out to Ulquiorra in any capacity was a dumbass move. May as well.

She tapped on the phone icon under his name. It rang.

***

His mom liked the flowers. He had to chuckle at that. Nanao was confused at her white rose. Nemu said nothing and didn’t text him.

The florist sent him a picture of the bouquets by email asking if they were satisfactory. They were. He saved the photo and put filters on it to upload to Instagram. He just tagged it with Valentine’s Day and a heart emoji.

When he was laying in bed because he had nothing to do that night, he was surprised to hear his phone ring.

Of course it was Orihime.

“Hey,” he said.

He sounded hollow. It made her sad. “Hey,” she responded. “Are they from you?”

Ulquiorra swallowed then sighed. “You obviously don’t stalk Instagram like you used to. Yeah, all three dozen are from me,” he answered.

“They’re really beautiful. Thank you,” she whispered her thanks. His tone was breaking her heart.

“Yeah, you’re welcome. I--I hope you enjoy looking at them.”

She sniffled and nodded. “Yeah, I do. How are you? How are you doing?”

How was he doing? He was maintaining. He was surviving. He was on autopilot. “I’m okay,” he said, lying through his teeth. “The album is almost done. I’m expecting to go on tour at the beginning of April. Limited engagements in select cities kind of thing.”

“That’s great!” she said in soft, encouraging tones. “It’s coming along much faster than anticipated, isn’t it? Is it everything it’s cracked up to be? The creative process?”

He took a deep breath. “I, uh,” he paused. Might as well tell her. “My mom dropped me because I’m difficult. Her bosses have taken over and I’ve kind of got to do what they say. They want the album out by spring so I can ride off the success and have something in time for awards season next year.”

“I see,” she said, after hissing an intake of air after he revealed his mother’s abandonment. “I’m going to be recording a bit this weekend. It’s going to be small beans compared to what you’re doing but it’s kind of nice that we’re both doing what we love, right?”

He wanted to snap at her, but anger wasn’t the solution to this problem. It wasn’t her problem. “That’s good you’re recording and doing something you love. As for me? I love none of this but I’m staying out here because I have no other option.”

“Contracts?” she asked sympathetically. She suspected it was partially that and partially his tendency to let life dictate to him. Still, it wasn’t her place to get upset with him for it.

“No, not a contract. I don’t have anywhere to go. My dad sent an email saying that until I get help and sort myself out, he doesn’t want to hear from me. My mom hasn’t talked to me since New Year’s Eve,” Ulquiorra replied. He huffed and then rolled over onto his side, letting the pillow hold the phone to his face.

Orihime scoffed softly. “I know your dad means well, but I really, really question his methods a lot of the time. Like, a lot, a lot. I’m sorry. As for your mom… I think she’s a lost cause.” She sighed. She hoped he would take a little comfort in her words.

“It is what it is,” he muttered. “I’m an asshole with two asshole parents. I shouldn’t be surprised.” Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. Here he was feeling sorry for himself again. He had no reason to be doing that. He caused everything to happen in his life. “Anyway, you’re welcome for the flowers. I hope it put a smile on your face for a couple of minutes.”

She huffed out a voiceless laugh. “I’m smiling right now,” she paused a second. She knew he was pulling away, and that was alright, but she wanted to say something first. “Listen, Ulquiorra, despite everything, I still am your number one fan, alright?” she was having a hard time keeping the emotion out of her voice. “I want you to succeed. I know you can do it. If you need to talk to someone, please do it. Okay?”

He didn’t think she was smiling. She was probably just saying that for his benefit. Then when she told him that she was still his number one fan, tears welled into his eyes. No, she wasn’t his number one fan anymore. He didn’t have anyone like that in his life anymore. “You sound like Nemu and Nanao. Talk to someone Ulq. Eat. Stop drinking. Smile. I’ll think about it.”

Orihime sighed. It was worse than she thought. She still wanted to fix it for him. She couldn’t. She knew it. No one could until he decided to do it on his own. “I hope I don’t sound like Nanao. She sounds like a banshee,” she ignored the mention of Nemu. Apparently the stylist and he were still in contact. If that was the case, why was he so miserable sounding? She shook her head. It wasn’t her concern, in the end. “Anyway, she’s right. You should talk to someone. You should eat. Please stop drinking. I’ll leave the smiling to your discretion.”

“I’ll give you the same answer I gave them; I’ll think about it. Happy Valentine’s Day, Orihime. I hope it was a good day for you. You deserve it.”

He knew how to appeal to her sense of pity like nobody else. She sucked in a fast breath as tears started to flow down the back of her throat. “No. Don’t just let your life take you for a shitty ride, Ulquiorra. I know you. You deserve better than this. I… I want the best for you.”

He let the tears fall out of his eyes. He wasn’t going to fight it anymore. There was no point. “I deserve the life I have right now. It’s shitty and all this is... It’s karma. I want the best for you, too, but it is what it is for me. You deserve success and recognition more than I do. You got me here. I didn’t do the leg work to get a gig at Sado’s. I didn’t have that idea--Just never mind. I guess call me when you want to talk again. I’ve got to--Nothing. I’m going to sit here and mope and feel sorry for myself.”

“Ulquiorra… You were the one who did all the practice. You were the one who improved. You were the one who compromised and sacrificed your personal life to get to where you wanted to be; where you _needed_ to be to achieve your goal. Even if we never met, you would have made it. I know it.”

Digging the phone out from under his head, Ulquiorra hung up. He didn’t want to hear those words of encouragement. He didn’t want to hear the pep talks. He just wanted to lay there and have a pity party for himself. He didn’t deserve it but he was going to take what he could get.

Why did she thank him? Why did she call him? Wouldn’t a text message suffice? He didn’t understand why she had called. The shit they had said on the phone to each other on January first was pretty cut and dry. Ulquiorra had left her alone. He hadn’t bothered her. 

His phone dinged and he was expecting a text from Orihime but was surprised to see Pesche’s name pop up. What the hell?

  * Your girlfriend--Oh wait, ex-girlfriend has been spending hours with Pesche’s old buddy, Shuhei. He sent her flowers. See attached photos. ;) -Nel <3



The photos came up, too. There was a photo of the flower arrangement and the card and a picture of Orihime and Shuhei going into an apartment building. 

He deleted the message. It wasn’t his business what Orihime did. If she wanted another guy that was good for her.

***

Sunday was a productive day. Shu had another guitarist friend come over and practiced with them before recording a duet of Ed Sheeran’s Photograph. Yeah, it was popular and overdone, but they sounded amazing singing it together. The additional guitarist made it sound more polished, and Orihime sat at the kitchen counter editing the video as the two males stood behind her, watching what she was doing on the screen and commenting excitedly about how awesome it all was. Both Orihime and Shu’s buddy realized that Shuhei required the emotional momentum to get over his shyness and agree to post the video online, so they kept a buzz going until the video was being posted. They had decided to put it on Orihime’s YouTube account - she had somehow amassed almost fifty-thousand subscribers, probably all due to her relationship with Ulquiorra. They had billed the song “Photograph cover feat. Shu Hisagi and I. Kira.” 

When it was finally live, it was Kira who asked, “Now what?”

Oh yeah. Orihime had turned off the ability to comment on her videos as a default setting. She went and changed the settings for this one. “Now we wait and see if people like it or love it!” She said, closing the laptop.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Shu asked, sounding almost panicked. Why would she close the computer if they were waiting to see what kind of reception the song would get?

“It’s no good to sit around and watch your stats. It’s too easy to get discouraged by a slow start. We’ll check in the morning at work, okay? I gotta go. It’s getting dark.”

Shu’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah, okay. I’ll walk you out.”

***

The notification popped up on his phone. Ulquiorra watched the video. Nemu said nothing, only flinched as a vase went sailing across the room. She let herself out as Ulquiorra continued to yell and break things. After he was done, he sat in the courtyard staring at the ocean. His mom didn’t have a lot to break in the beach house. Still, she was pissed. Nemu had called her, describing the path of destruction she had witnessed.

He didn’t care.

He left a comment.

_Obscuras IV:_

_You two sound better than we ever did together. Nice._

He knew it was going to be a feeding frenzy as soon as the comment posted. It sounded snarky. It sounded bitter. Oh well. That’s how he felt. He didn’t like the video so he gave it a thumbs down just for fact that she recorded a song with another guy. A guy who had sent her flowers. A guy who she was photographed with.

They weren’t together, so she was free to see other people. It hurt, but he had to learn to deal with it. Maybe in a year or two he could. Right now? That wound was too fresh.

***

The video was received well. Before her shift, she brought Shu into Jon’s office to look at the stats. There were more views than she had anticipated. About eighty-thousand. A couple thousand thumbs-ups. About two-hundred thumbs down.

“What does that mean? Is that good? Why did people give us a thumbs down?” Shu asked, biting at the side of his thumb.

Orihime looked at him with a withering expression. What a noob. “This is amazing. Better than amazing. People give thumbs-down to be edgy or for sour grapes, don’t worry about it. Look at all the comments!” she said, grinning. She hadn’t read any yet, she just looked at the post count. There were about two-hundred and fifty comments already. She scrolled down to read some, then her face fell as she found Ulquiorra’s.

That was the reason they had gotten so much attention. There were about eighty replies to his comment alone; that meant that at least a third of the comments were all because of him. She tried not to let her disappointment show. Shu didn’t know this stuff. He deserved to be happy about this success.

“Nice job, kids. Now get back to work,” Jon said from behind them.

“Wow, your ex commented?” Shu asked. He knew who ObscurasIV was.

“Yep,” Orihime said, standing up and tightening her apron. “You heard the boss, we can check the stats again later. But congrats, Shu. This is awesome,” she smiled at him and went back to work.

Jon had frowned at Ulquiorra’s comment. He knew his son. He knew Orihime knew, too.

***

Maria sighed. “Jon, you never had any problems like this with him, did you?”

“He destroyed his room before he came back out there. Everything,” Jon said to his ex-wife. “I’m sorry that he destroyed some of your things. I don’t know what you want me to do. Do you want me to take it out of his savings account? That’s where I’ve put all the child support you’ve sent over the years.

“What happened? He used to be a pretty mellow kid, and all of a sudden this--this--”

“Orihime is a nice young lady. The problem with our son started before that.”

“You’re going to blame the fact that you divorced me--”

“I didn’t say that, but if the shoe fits, please lace it up and wear it,” Jon replied. Maria scoffed. He could hear her huffing and puffing. He knew she was trying to think of something to say. “He needs therapy, Maria. He needs someone to talk to. He needs someone to watch out for him. Which one of your staffers knows him the best?”

The woman on the other end of the line paused. “She’s not on my staff. I gave up the OIV project because Ulquiorra is difficult. He’s stubborn and moody. He’s depressing to be around. When he lived here with me it felt oppressive, Jonathan.”

“You’ve avoided the question.”

“Nemu, his image consultant.”

“Has Nemu said anything about his eating habits? I watched his latest radio interview. You can see his collarbones. His jawline is--I don’t think he’s eating,” Jon said.

“Nemu says that he hasn’t eaten a full meal since December, when he left for Ohio. He was eating fine before he went out there for your Thanksgiving party,” Maria snapped.

Jon sighed. “You’re going to let him starve himself? What kind of mother are you? You’ve always done this. You’ve blamed other people for your problems. Our son has picked up on this and he does it.”

“He’s an adult and can--Hello? Jon?”

***

Ulquiorra stood inside of the recording studio on the ninth floor of Espada Records. They were getting the last song finished. It was his song; the one that he wrote with Wonderweiss. This was the third take of the song. 

He couldn’t do it.

He was too focused on Orihime’s YouTube video. He had been tempted to delete all his social media accounts, but Nanao stopped him.

“Yo, pack it up for today. You’re tapped,” Oetsu said over the speakers. 

Ulquiorra knew that was the truth. He’d been tapped ever since he saw Aizen put his hands on Orihime. She was right. That was the moment he decided to call it quits. She didn’t want the creepy teacher’s advances, and yet, he blamed her for them.

Oh well. People were liking Vega and Shu Hisagi better than they liked Vega IV anyway.

Thankfully when he got to the lobby, Nanao was waiting for him. He gave her a small wave. “Where to now?” he asked.

“You have an appointment with a tattoo studio? Did you want me to cancel that? You look like crap,” the assistant said.

Ulquiorra shrugged as they walked to the car. “Can you call Nemu?”

“What for?”

“Maybe I want to talk to her? Maybe I want to take her out on a date. Maybe I want to talk her into having sex with me,” he snapped after both car doors were shut. Nanao started laughing. “What? How is your sister by the way?”

She continued to laugh. “Nothing, you’re hilarious. Seriously what do you want me to call Nemu for? And who? I don’t have a sister.”

Oh, this was interesting information. “She has a number for a doctor.”

Nanao sat there for a moment. “I’ll get the number from Nemu. She’s kind of freaked out by your temper tantrum.”

Ulquiorra nodded. He figured that. He hadn’t heard from her since it happened. The car ride back to Laguna Beach was quiet and when Nanao pulled into the driveway, he was going to get out. She stopped him.

“Look I know this whole break up thing is hard to deal with. A while ago you got some mail at Espada Records. The mail people gave it to your mom. Your mom held onto it. I took it from her office. Maybe you need to read what’s in this letter.”

Ulquiorra looked at the envelope with the familiar handwriting on it.

Shit.

She had sent him fanmail.

He took the envelope and then got out of the car and walked up to the front door, letting himself in. Ulquiorra put his stuff down and then sat on the couch, still eyeing the handwriting on the front. 

Ulquiorra Cifer

Espada Records

He wanted to smile at that, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to do a lot of stuff. He didn’t have the drive to do anything. He tore open one end of the envelope and started reading:

_Dear Ulquiorra,_

_I listened to the CD you left for me, and I… I don’t even have the words. I’m heartbroken. Your voice is so beautiful. Spoken and sung. Thank you so much for this. I’ll always keep it._

_I know you’ll probably never believe me, but to me… To me you are home. Without you I don’t know who I really am. You'll always be my rockstar. My Ernie. My Hotshot. My Altair. I'll never forget you. I'll never really let you go. I love you. I can’t imagine ever not loving you._

_I just have to learn how to live without love again. Thanks for showing me how it felt to live with it for awhile._

_I hope our paths meet again someday. I hope we can smile at each other then._

_Love always,_

_Vega_

Oh.

OH.

This was horrible. It was dated for January second. It was almost the end of February.

He took a moment to let everything roll over him like a wave. The raw, aching pain. The memories of them together. It probably wasn’t good for him to think about all that stuff all the time but occasionally it was okay to remember.

About two hours later, when he stopped crying, Ulquiorra took a picture of the words, “My Ernie” and then he took a picture of his wrist, the one that had the “Everyone loves a Hufflepuff” bracelet on it.

He never took it off. 

He did a collage and then posted it to Instagram. He then sent a picture of it to Orihime through text message along with the following words:

  * Thanks for the letter. I just got it today. Sorry.



***

Orihime got his text. It made her wistful and sad but also glad that he reached out to her. It warmed her heart as much as it made it ache to have that small contact.

She had had a busy couple weeks. Riding high on the success of the first video, Shu and Kira pushed to do more recordings, although Kira was really just along for the ride. Shu and Vega were getting all the attention. Kira didn’t seem to mind. He was in it for beer and a good time. He was doing better at pulling chicks at the bar he hung out at, so that was enough for him.

Not for Shu. He interpreted his and Orihime’s musical chemistry as romantic chemistry. He was starting to get more intense with his pursuit of Orihime. He’d try to hold her hand as he walked her down the stairs from his apartment and to her car. He’d attempted a couple of awkward hugs, trying to play it off as enthusiastic celebrations for a song well done.

Orihime was patient and indulgent, letting him get away with these small transgressions. It was nice that someone liked her. It felt good. She just wasn’t that into him.

  
Still, maybe she ought to give him a chance, she had thought. She was glad she hadn’t after she got Ulquiorra’s text. It would have been too confusing. She thought long and hard about her response. A lot had changed since she wrote that letter. 

  * I understand, it’s okay. I’m glad you got it though.



There. That was sufficient and matched the level of forthcomingness in his text. But the picture… The only gifts he had ever given her were Bad Habits… Wait, that wasn’t true, he had given her flowers twice, but they died… Wait!

She went up to her room and took a picture of his plants. They still looked good. Vega had a few fewer blossoms and a wonky curly root that had grown up out of the pot at a weird angle. Strife was a bit overgrown, but they were still healthy.

She took a picture of them both and sent it to him.

  * Your vegetable children say hello. They are going through their angsty teen phase.



She had gotten a text from Shu in the meantime. He and Kira were talking about taking a trip down to South by Southwest; they had been planning on going for months already but now that they were an act, they had asked Orihime to come along. Shu’s text was asking her if she had talked to Jon about the trip. Orihime sighed. She had not. She hated leaving Jon in the lurch after everything he had done for her. Plus, she wasn’t sure taking a roadtrip with Shu at this point in time was the best course of action. It might give him the wrong idea.

She should just ask Jon. If he said no, which she fully expected him to do, then she’d be off the hook anyway. She got off her bed to go downstairs and ask him, and that’s when she heard a slam. Shouts. A crash. More slamming. Screaming. Jon and Steve were having it out. She was glad she was upstairs. She holed up and watched the new videos they had recorded that week. With headphones. She didn’t want to intrude on Steve and Jon’s love lives. 

They had recorded an acoustic version of Charlie Puth’s _We Don’t Talk Anymore_ which she thought was especially heartwrenching, especially for her. They also did a version of Vertical Horizon’s _Best I Ever Had_ , in which Kira had played some sad harmonica in the background. They were working on Bryan Adam’s _Heaven_ , and they planned on uploading it tomorrow to counter the sad songs they had done earlier that week. By the time the songs were over, the men downstairs were still at it. She decided to listen to some of Ulquiorra’s songs for awhile and ignore it.


	11. Let's Not Kid Ourselves

“Orihime? Can you come down here?” Jon called from the kitchen.

She heard it. There had been a lull in the arguing so she had taken her headphones off. “Yeah, be right there,” she called back and came down.

Steve was nowhere to be found and Jon was sitting at the kitchen island with a bottle of red wine. It was late. All he had wanted to do was come home to his house and prop his feet up. But no, that diva boyfriend of his had started a fight. “Hey kiddo,” he said once he saw her.

“Are you okay?” She didn’t ask if something was wrong. Clearly something had been wrong. She took a seat next to him.

“No, not really. Steve found out that I recently called Maria. I found out that he was out on Valentine’s day with his ex,” Jon said.

Orihime closed her eyes and sighed. Steve had lied to her, too. “I’m sorry, Jon,” she said, reaching out to squeeze his hand briefly and then clasping them in front of her before it felt awkward. She could tell he had something else on his mind though, so she sat and waited quietly.

“Steve said I was involving myself too much in my son’s business. I had to, because he’s my kid, and he hurt you so I felt responsible. Steve wasn’t impressed. We were supposed to be empty nesters. According to him, I care more about you than anyone else. He says that you’re trying to get in my pants because I look like Ulquiorra. He says that you look at me like a lovesick puppy. He’s out of his fucking mind. I’m old enough to be your father. He’s trying to shift the blame to me because he got caught.” Jon took a big gulp of wine. “He wants you gone because you make this place sad.”

Orihime sighed. Shit. Shit shit shit. This wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t even Steve’s  _ fault _ that she was there, anyway. Jon looked like he was suffering. “I get it, Jon. I shouldn’t even be here. Ulquiorra is done with me. I’m just usurping his family anyway. You’ve been so kind and generous to me. It’s really more than I could have ever asked for,” she said, trying not to get sad. She didn’t want him to feel any more guilty than he clearly already did. 

“I can get out of here. I can get everything out by tomorrow. I was actually going to ask you for some time off before you came home," she said, laughing at the irony, now. “But I understand. You have to follow your heart. I’m going to miss you, though. Steve’s right about one thing, you do remind me of him. I do kind of admire you, but not the way he thinks. You’re just the first dad I’ve ever had.” She couldn’t stop her lip from trembling after that and put her hands over her mouth. “I’m sorry” she whispered through them.

Jon reached over and gave Orihime a tight hug. “Don’t cry, kiddo. You’re not doing anything to Ulq’s family. Everyone loves you. We all accepted you, except for Diva Steve. Do you have somewhere to go? Are you sure? I can give you like a week to find a place. I don’t want you to go back to Columbus, though. I like having you around the shop. As for following my heart, Steve’s not my heart. My kid is, but he wants nothing to do with me.”

She gave him a watery chuckle. “That’s not true. I spoke to him a couple weeks ago. He thinks you hate him. I assured him he was wrong as well.” She took a deep breath. “Are you sure you want me in the shop? I mean, maybe it would be good if I left for a bit and then came back later? I know Shu has a spare room I can use for a couple days and then the three of us were going to drive down to Austin for a week or something and then come back. I should be able to find a place by then.”

That worried frown decorated his face again. “Shu’s a good guy. I see how he treats you. Steve told me he sent you flowers. He’s a lot nicer than Renji,” Jon said. “If you need anything, just come talk to me. You still have a coffee counter to run.”

“Is it okay that I leave though? It will be from the sixth of March until maybe… I don’t know. Could be ten days. The festival itself runs from the sixth through the fourteenth.”

Jon nodded. “Yeah, you need to get out of here for a bit. Clear the air. You’re always welcome back into my home if you really need it, but right now… Things need to get sorted out with Steve.”

“I’ll be gone in the morning,” she said as a promise, and gave him one more hug before going upstairs.

As he finished his glass of wine he remembered something that Maria told him. He would have to tell Orihime about it. Jon left the kitchen and walked up the stairs. “Orihime, can I come in?” he asked outside of her door.

“Yeah, please,” she said. She was pulling things out of her closet as he came in and was laying it on the bed.

“Sorry to bother you again, but have you talked to Ulquiorra?”

“Yeah, I called him on Valentine’s day to thank him for the flowers,” she said, eyeing the bouquet that was hanging upside down to dry in the corner.

Jon nodded. “An assistant he has claims he hasn’t eaten since December and his mother has decided to let him do what he wants. Do you think you could talk to him? I know that’s asking a lot, but he seems to listen to you.” 

Orihime scoffed. “I cannot believe her. I asked him to eat. I think he blew me off. I can try again if you think it will do any good.”

“Please? Normally I wouldn’t say this, but do anything to get him to eat. Or at least get him to agree to eat.” Jon left Orihime to do what she needed and went back to the kitchen.

Orihime took a sense of urgency from Jon and called right away.

Ulquiorra was in the studio attached to the house when she called. He sighed and put his guitar down before picking the phone up. “What?” he asked. 

“Hi, sorry, I need to talk to you.” She wasn’t sorry really. She was speaking for Jon, now.

“I saw the pics of the kids,” Ulquiorra said. “I got your message. What do you need to talk to me about?”

“It’s your dad. He’s worried about you. Terrified. And he and Steve are fighting. It was between me and Steve, that’s how bad it was. Anyway, he told me that if it was possible, I should ask you to eat. Seeing as I do not want you to starve either, I thought I would try. I know you don’t want to listen to me, but would you? Please? I can stay on the phone if that helps. I can promise to leave you alone forever if that’s what you want. I can send you my entire Bad Habit folder if that helps,” she laughed lamely. She didn’t think he’d want it at this point, but she was trying to break the tension she felt. “What can I do or say to make you love yourself enough to take care of yourself?”

If Orihime could see his face, she would see that Ulquiorra was offended. Not that he would mind seeing her Bad Habit folder, but he couldn’t believe she was actually bribing him to eat. ”Orihime, don’t,” he said, closing his eyes. “Just don’t. You can’t--”

“Ulquiorra, I’m sorry. I really am. I know this sucks. It sucks a lot. Do you think, maybe… Do you think we can be there for each other as friends?” She wasn’t entirely sure they could. “Please forgive me, I didn’t start this call with a plan. Your dad just told me I had to skip town and I’m kind of in a panic. I just… I should have thought this through. I’m sorry. I just want you to eat and I want everything to be okay…” Shit. Her voice was shaking and she wasn't able to rein in her thoughts. This was really bad. She was losing it. 

“I don’t think your boyfriend would appreciate it if you showed  _ me  _ your Bad Habit folder. I don’t think he would appreciate if I told you what I wanted was for you to be here with me. I don’t think he would like it if I asked you for nude photos of yourself,” Ulquiorra replied. “I don’t want to be your friend. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to be the one you perform with and post--” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I don’t want to eat.”

“Ulquiorra,” she said after taking a deep breath of her own. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Shu is not my boyfriend. He works for your dad. We play together. I can’t afford to drive down to Columbus a couple times a week to find people to play with. He is here. That’s all.” She didn’t know if he would take any comfort in that or not, but it was the truth and it was worth a shot.

He felt that little bud of hope starting to grow in his chest and he squashed it. No. He wasn’t going to listen to it. “You don’t have to tell me anything. Okay if he is,” Ulquiorra said. He couldn’t listen to her. “It’s whatever. I’ve seen photos of you two. He looks happy to be with you.”

“He very well might. I don’t, though.” She sighed. “I know I don’t have to tell you anything. I’m telling you because I want to. You read my letter. I want you to be happy, that’s true. But if that is not possible at the moment, I at least want you to survive.” She was considering him not coming back from this. It was making her fearful, and it was translating to her voice. “I don’t want you to lose your life over me. I’m not worth it.”

“I am surviving. Barely. I’m just not--I don’t know what to do. I either eat and get drunk or I don’t eat and stay sober. Not the healthiest of ways to deal with things,” he said. “It’s extreme, I know, but it helps me forget about you. I don’t like being drunk because then my hormones kick in and my brain says to call you at three a.m. and harass you for pics. Or send you pics.”

Orihime pinched the bridge of her nose. “I know that this is not what you want, but Ulquiorra, please. You need professional help. Please. As a personal favor to me. Please call someone. Not next week. Not next month. Tomorrow. Please.”

He shook his head. “I have an appointment with a therapist, but thanks for caring. You don’t need to worry about me Orihime. Good luck with you and your boyfriend.”

She was crying but trying not to let him hear. “Please keep that appointment. Oh, and your father loves you and thinks you hate him. I have to pack. Shit. Ulquiorra, I’ll stop caring when I’m dead.” 

She hung up. She cried silently as she brought a load of clothes down to her car.

Jon heard her come downstairs. “Everything okay?” He asked.

“No. He says he has an appointment with a therapist. At least it’s something. He thinks I’m with Shu. I’m not. He won’t listen to me.”

***

His mother was the one that presented him with the news the next morning. “You’re acting like a brat. How interested are you in doing an appearance at a festival?”

Ulquiorra stared at his mother with a pair of dead looking eyes as he tore a banana into tiny pieces. He was attempting to eat, but it wasn’t appealing. “As about interested in watching paint dry.”

“Okay, so no South by Southwest?”

“Thank god. I thought you were gonna say Coachella,” he said sarcastically. “No thanks. I’m almost done with the album. When it’s in Tosen’s hands, I’ll collect my million and then fuck off to West Virginia or another remote location and live out the rest of my days as a crazy hermit.”

Maria scowled at him. “You’re not funny. Eat.”

“Why is everyone so fucking obsessed with me eating? You, Orihime, Dad, Nemu! Drop it. Isn’t this what celebrities are supposed to do?”

“You’re not a fucking celebrity yet, and I don’t want a dead body stinking up my property if you were to die. Nemu says she’s willing to come stay with you or you could stay with her,” Maria said.

Ulquiorra shook his head. “No, I’m not interested in that either.”

The older woman sighed and then crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you going to see Dr. SoiFon? People are worried about you, Ulquiorra. Nanao showed me some of the comments you got on the picture you just posted. They were comparing your wrist to past photos. Do you realize what you look like?”

Closing his eyes slowly, Ulquiorra blinked at his mother several times before stuffing a piece of banana into his mouth and chewing noisily several times.

“Brat. Why is it you get a taste of a woman and all of a sudden you can’t cope? You’re like your father.”

That made his insolent attitude go away. Ulquiorra had never really heard his parents’ story. He just knew they met, had sex, got married and divorced. That’s all he had heard. “What do you mean?” He asked.

“If I tell you, will you eat something? Like actually eat? Also, you’re doing South by Southwest. You have no choice in the matter. You’ve been signed up for it ever since I learned you were coming to Los Angeles. You and your bandmates will be in Austin the entire week.”

“Tch,” Ulquiorra scoffed. Once again he had someone bribing him to do something. “Fine, I'll eat something. I’ll make some toast--”

“You’ll eat it now.” Maria lifted a paper bag onto the counter. “I also bought you some of those shakes. I got a variety, so you’re not stuck with whatever flavor your dad bought.”

He made toast. He listened to Maria talk about something mundane. She never did tell him about how he was acting like his father. When he was done, he decided he had to film another YouTube video. He went into the studio and set the camera up in front of the board and recording booth window. “Hey, Obscuras here, just wanted to let all my viewers and subscribers know that I’ll be appearing at the South by Southwest Music Festival. Not really sure what I’ll be doing yet, but I will be sending out updates on Instagram or Twitter.”

After he loaded the video onto his computer he realized what his mother was talking about. His face was sunken in. His skin looked papery thin. He could see how skinny his wrists were. There was nothing he could do to fix it. With a sigh he edited the short video and posted it.

***

Living at Shuhei’s was less than ideal. Sure, he didn’t make her pay rent, but the constant offers to get her something and attempts to reassure himself that she was comfortable were getting on her nerves.

She was also bored out of her mind. He was allowed to go to work for Jon but she was persona non grata at his businesses at present. She really had nothing to do. But she had found a gym nearby, so at least once a day she got dressed and went to go work out. She smirked when the thought came to her to run until she was exhausted and then do squats until she couldn’t. She was so pathetic. She didn’t care though.

It was kind of a meathead gym, she soon discovered, but it was cheap and nearby, so she dealt with it. The Sunday after she moved in was the third morning she had woken up on the air mattress in Shuhei’s spare room. Cifer Confections was usually closed Sundays, so when she got up, she was greeted by the smell of eggs and toast and Shuhei’s broad back, instead of a note to see her later or simpering puppy-dog eyes. He was shirtless, revealing his sculpted back and shoulders and another tattoo she had never seen before around his left bicep, emphasizing its strength. A shiver went through her body as she took in the sight. Damn. She quickly looked at the floor. She had been checking him out. 

“That smells good,” she said as a greeting. “You making some for both of us?” she asked, looking down to make sure she was decent. She had taken to sleeping in Ulquiorra’s t-shirt that he had left with her. It no longer smelled like him, so she just made use of it. She thought it better than her preferred bad habit-style sleepwear while living with Shu.

The man in question turned around and smiled at her. “I am. What’s your plan for today?”

She yawned and smiled at him. “Well, after breakfast I’m going to drink some coffee and then get dressed and go to the gym. You?”

“I could join you. Do you go to Ari’s?”

“Yep. It’s just down the way--”

“--And cheap,” Shu finished her sentence and then laughed, biting his bottom lip and looking at her for a bit too long before turning around to plate up breakfast.

Shit. Orihime saw the way he had looked at her. This was so not cool. She couldn’t keep living here with him. She was going to break his heart. She pulled out her phone and started looking up rentals.

After breakfast they went to the gym together. Shu had opted out of running for his life and doing a million squats, as Orihime had explained her workout program. He ran on a treadmill for a bit and then went to do some weights. He chatted with the big bald guy with the freakish under-skin implants that caused his skin to raise in two sets of parallel ridges on each side of his head, from front to back. The guy scared Orihime. He looked like he was always one step away from going berserker. He also had a tendency to stare.

Today was no different. The big guy went through weight machines grunting and straining and dropping weights with clings and clangs all over the place. She really wanted to leave, but Shu was still in the middle of his workout. She decided to forgo squats today and go wait outside. She stopped at the leg raise machine Shu was using to tell him she was over warm and would meet him in the car. He nodded and told her he’d finish up quickly. 

She decided that the weather was not too bad and she could use some fresh air, so she took a seat on a bench outside the building in the sun. She closed her eyes and listened to early spring birdsong and just enjoyed life for a moment, until she felt the bench move. Something heavy had landed on it.

“Oi! Little lady, I’ve seen you around. You came in with dickface Shu,” the big man said with a heavy British accent.

“Oh, yeah. Hi. Are you a friend of Shuhei’s?” she asked, clearly uncomfortable with the big guy’s proximity.

“Nah, I just see him faffing around the gym trying to impress someone. Ain’t no one gonna notice him the way he wants to be noticed by being a loser. How do you know him? I’m Yammy, by the way.” The man stuck out a hand to Orihime.

“I’m Orihime,” she said, accepting the handshake. Her hand completely disappeared inside of his. It felt like a trap. “I’m staying with Shu right now. We worked together but I’m on an extended vacation.”

Yammy’s face lit up with a smile. “Staying with him eh? You the one he calls Red or is that the other dumb arse with the jacked up eyebrows?”

“Only Renji calls me that,” she said, trying to extricate her hand from his. He was either completely oblivious or he was not having it.

“So you fucking Shu?” He asked still smiling. “I bet I could show you a better time.”

“No, I’m not,” she said, pulling her hand away with more insistence. “I have to go.”

“What? Not into blokes? You like tits or something?” Yammy asked, letting her hand go.

“Who doesn’t?” she asked with a small laugh, backing away and trying not to piss him off.

Yammy peered at her for a moment. “I could get you a free membership here, if you’re interested,” he crooned and waggled his eyebrows at her

Shu had just come out as Yammy said this. He looked over at Orihime and saw the terrified look on her face. “Hey, Babe, I was looking for you. What are you doing out here?”

Orihime’s eyes found his and she just stared. She didn’t know what was going on.

“Come on, you don’t have to stare, you’ve seen me like this plenty of times,” Shuhei said, walking shirtless toward Orihime with some uncharacteristic swagger, stopping right in front of her, effectively shielding her from Yammy.

“Oi! Sonofabitch! I was talking to her, wait your turn loser!” Yammy said standing up.

Shu slipped his hands into his pockets and turned his head to the side to glare at the mammoth of a man with the eye right above his “69” tattoo. “You think you’re gonna talk to her? You think she likes losers? Orihime doesn’t have time for a roidmonkey like you, Yamsel the Damsel.” Shuhei looked back down at at Orihime and winked, giving her a roguish smirk. “Do ya, Babe?”

Orihime’s face remained stricken as she shook her head no. 

His smirk stretched into a smile, then he bent down and pecked her on the lips before turning his head back to Yammy. “See?”

“You’re a sorry looking arse with that tattoo on ya face. Keep it up Hisagi and you’ll be going to a prison hospital next.” Yammy took his lumbering bulk back into the building, sneering at the two before he disappeared.

Shuhei watched him go back into the gym and then his shoulders dropped and he started giggling nervously. “Shit shit shit get in the car!” he squealed while laughing, turning her around and pushing her toward the vehicle. “Quick, before he comes back out and kicks my ass!”

Orihime didn’t argue or even think much. She was in shock. What the fuck just happened?

***

Ulquiorra had just climbed out of the pool and was walking towards the house when he saw Nemu standing in the courtyard. He looked at her for several moments before he started shivering slightly. He grabbed the robe off a lounge chair and pulled it on. “Hey,” he said, before turning and walking through the sliding door where he could reach the workout room and steam room. Nemu followed him.

The musician kept his back to her as he stripped off the robe and the swim trunks before grabbing a towel and putting it around his waist. He didn’t care if he just showed Nemu his ass. He didn’t care what the fuck anyone saw anymore. He had to be on autopilot to function, so he was just going to pretend that she wasn’t there. 

“What are you doing now?”

“I’m going to sit in the steam room. You’re welcome to join me or you can wait,” Ulquiorra replied as he pulled the door to the room open, letting the wet heat hit him. It was awesome in there. It smelled like cedar and for some reason, rocks, if they had a smell. He was sitting down on a bench when the door opened. 

Nemu had stripped off her jacket and jewelry. She had taken off her shirt and slacks and was standing there is a rather plain white bra and underwear. She had a towel in her hand. Oh shit. She was going to join him. He had totally expected her to wait for him upstairs. Didn’t matter.

“I was going to go for a massage and a trip through my massage therapist’s hot tub but this will be better and save me money. My makeup is going to melt off but--” Nemu said as she sat down on the other bench.

“What do you want, Nem? You haven’t talked to me in two weeks,” Ulquiorra said in a flat voice. 

“I’ll be joining you at South by Southwest. Nan can’t go. Lisa is sick again.”

Ulquiorra didn’t say anything as the steam started to fill the room. He just leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling. He stayed that way for a minute until he couldn’t see the woman through the fog. “Okay. And?” 

“I was informing you. I have your schedule and--”

“You haven’t called or texted… Why?”

Nemu sighed. “You scared me, and based on that fear I didn’t want to be around you. Why do you concern yourself with Orihime if she turns you into a raving mad lunatic? That vase you broke? Your mom paid almost four grand for it.”

Ulquiorra closed his eyes, leaning his head back again. “My mother already scolded me for what I did. I don’t need you being a mother hen. I’ve got Orihime on my ass too.”

“It’s a nice ass.”

“TCH. Why are you coming with us? Don’t you have other clients to deal with?”

“No, I work with one client at a time. Usually it doesn’t take this long to pull a client together.”

“Bullshit,” Ulquiorra said. “Nanao doesn’t have a sister. You’re sticking around because of me. Why?” 

It was quiet in the room. “I like you. I’m curious about you. I’m interested in you as a person. What makes you tick? Why do you do the things that you do?”

Fuck.

She liked him? She was curious about him? She was interested in him? Ulquiorra wasn’t sure what to do with this information. 

“I heard from Nanao that you wanted my number to see if I wanted to have sex.”

Oh.

Oh no.

“The only person I want to have sex with doesn’t want me and is hanging off some guy with face tattoos. He’s a convict.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

Nemu’s voice sounded a lot closer. Suddenly Ulquiorra felt a weight settle on the bench. He turned his head to the side and saw the consultant sitting right next to him. She was staring straight ahead. 

Being this close to Nemu, he now saw the scars on her back and along her shoulders. It looked like she was stitched back together like some kind of doll. He shook his head and looked forward, too. It wasn’t his business what happened to her. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I mean, I don’t, because I’m so focused on Orihime, but it’s too soon for me.”

“I understand that,” she said. “If you ever become unfocused on her, I’d like to be considered.”

“Maybe.”

The two spent the rest of the time in the steam room in silence. Ulquiorra let her go out first as he sat there fiddling with the bracelet on his wrist. He loved Orihime. If he didn’t have such deep feelings for her, then he would have taken every opportunity to get laid. The pain of losing the redhead was still too much for him to think about.

Nemu opened the door when she was done to say goodbye and left. Ulquiorra was still sitting on that bench.

His appointment with the therapist was tomorrow. The schedule he had been sent showed they would be leaving the day after that. Maybe he had a phone call to make before then.

***

The ride back from the gym had been awkward. Shuhei seemed to be riding some combination of adrenaline and glee. Orihime just felt a weight on her shoulders. She had to talk to Shu, and she was not up to it. 

When they got back to his apartment, they took turns getting showered up and then Orihime met him in the living room. 

“Hey, do you want to just, like, I dunno, veg out and watch some Netflix?” Shuhei asked her from his spot on the sofa.

Orihime closed her eyes for a moment. She had to tell him the truth. “No. We need to talk, Shu.”

“Okay, what about?” he asked, turning toward her and turning off the TV.

“This. This, whatever-is-going-on here. What do you want from me, Shu?” She tried asking it in a way that didn’t sound accusatory. She was only semi-successful.

Her question kind of took him off-guard. He swallowed and looked at her face for some indication about which way this conversation was going to go. “What do you mean?” he finally asked.

Orihime paced the room and sighed. “I mean, Shu, I’m not trying to sound up myself, but you kissed me. You’ve been really nice to me. I really appreciate everything you’ve done, but I think you want something I can’t give you right now.”

“What are you talking about?” Shu sounded somewhat offended. Or defensive. Orihime wasn’t sure.

She stopped pacing and turned toward him. “I like you, Shu. I do. I think you’re nice and fun and funny and cute and chivalrous and all the good qualities I might look for in a guy, but…”

“But you’re not attracted to the loser who has been in jail and has face tattoos? Can’t bring me home to mommy and daddy?” Shu scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his body. He was angrier than she thought he would be.

“No, that’s not it. One, I don’t have any parents. Two, I don’t think you’re a loser. Three, I do think you’re attractive, but I am in love with somebody else.”

“I could make you forget about him, you know.”

Orihime rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? Don’t you think that if I was going to forget about him I would have by now?”

Shu stood up. “You think you’ve tried?! Jesus. You bring him up all the time. You’re constantly crying over that emo dipshit. He cheated on you. He was a total fuck up, and you’re still hung up on him? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Orihime was getting intimidated and took a few steps back. “I don’t know. I don’t know, Shu. All I know is that I am not ready to move on to someone new. It wouldn’t be fair to you and it wouldn’t be fair to me. Even now, every single thing you do, I compare to him. Every look you give me, every song you sing. Always. He is always there. If we tried to start something now, his ghost would just get in the way. I need to be alone for awhile. I need to get to know myself without him.”

Shuhei sat back down with a slow sigh. “My friends in Austin have a neighbor that you’d probably like. I was going to ask if you wanted to share a room with me at my friends’ place but maybe you’d be better off bunking with her. Her name is Momo and she’s pretty cool. Plays mandolin.”

Orihime sighed and leaned against her bedroom door. “I’m sorry. For now, let’s just focus on the music, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Kira came over in the afternoon. They recorded Heaven and it went well. Shu was in a slightly better mood as they looked at the stats on their old videos and they waited for the new one to upload later that night. Kira was pointing out comments people had left about how attractive he and Shu were. They both ignored Orihime. It was just as well. She knew when she was unwanted. 

“I’m going to bed. So we’re still leaving on Wednesday after work, right?”

“Yeah, g’night, Hime,” Shu said without turning around.

She locked the door and sat on the air mattress, willing herself to relax. This wasn’t her fault. She felt sorry for the circumstances, but she hadn’t done anything to lead Shu on. It didn’t stop her from feeling bad about it, though. Her phone rang, distracting her from the problem.

Ulquiorra sat on his bed, cross-legged, and with his free hand pushed against his face waiting for her to answer.

She picked it up on the second ring, surprised to see his name on her caller I.D. “Hello?”

“Tell me that you love me,” Ulquiorra demanded.

“I love you.” It came out as easily as a sigh. She had just been arguing about it a few hours ago. It was fresh and very, very real.

“Nemu asked me to have sex with her today,” he said, and before Orihime could say something about his statement, he continued. “I told her that it was too soon and I was too focused on you, still.”

The way he phrased it pricked at her heart. She caught the subtext. “I see. I told Shu today that I can’t start anything with him because I’m too hung up on you,” she admitted, pressing her eyes shut.

Ulquiorra sighed and flopped back onto his bed. “You know… We could do the whole internet thing again,” he murmured to her. “Just me and you online.”

“Me and you as Vega Strife zero-zero and Obscuras four?”

“No, me and you. Ulquiorra and Orihime. I miss you. I love you. Come to Los Angeles, or I’ll fly you to Texas this week.”

That made her perk up. “Texas? I’m going to Texas. We- me, Kira, and Shu -are driving down for South by Southwest. Are you going?”

She obviously didn’t watch his channel anymore. “I did a video about it. I’m scheduled to play a couple of songs. Do some interviews. I’ll be doing some autograph signings,” he said. He tried not to get too discouraged when she mentioned the other males. “Make sure you pack some good and bad habits. You can stay with me. Please, Orihime.”

She was conflicted. “Ulquiorra, I want to. But I don’t want… I want to. I’m supposed to stay with some chick named Momo who plays the mandolin, though.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry.”

“No, Ulquiorra, please. I want to see you.”

He cleared his throat. “Give me one night,” Ulquiorra said. “Just twelve hours while the sun is down. Me and you. A hotel room. We don’t have to do anything. I just want you all to myself during that time.”

“Okay.”

Okay? Did she actually say okay? The word sank into his brain and Ulquiorra had to blink back tears. That one word… It gave him hope again. “So you’re not with Shu?”

“No. I already told you that.” She was feeling so desperate right now. Just keeping him talking to her was the only thing she was focused on at the moment. Anything to cling to. She could feel her eyes starting to burn and she grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it as she waited for him to reply.

“I wasn’t listening. What happened with Nemu kind of opened my eyes today,” he said. “I had to know. I had to make the phone call. I’m going to see that therapist tomorrow. I’ve eaten today. It’s a start.”

She hacked at tears that were going down her throat instead of down her face. “Thank you. You don’t know…” she sniffed a few times before continuing. “It’s really important to me that you are getting better.” She took a few heavy breaths to calm down and finally asked. “How did it open your eyes?”

Ulquiorra chuckled. “If it was just about sex between us, and if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t hurt this bad. Every song I sing wouldn’t remind me of you, and I could go on and you’d be just some blip on the radar that would gradually fade. You’re not fading, Orihime.”

“Neither are you.” She paused and smiled to herself. “I put up a new song tonight. I always wanted to sing it with you but I was afraid you’d think I was too cheesy. You can go ahead and laugh at it if you want.”

Another laugh left him. “You’re always cheesy, but I liked that about you. If everything goes okay in Texas, will you think about coming out here?”

“I never stopped thinking about coming out there. We’ll see how it goes, though. You have stuff to work through. So do I. I think we’re starting to each take some steps in the right direction, but we should probably take things one step at a time and not get ahead of ourselves again.”

“Okay. I can accept that. Another question. Since you won’t stay with me in Austin, can I at least see you once a day?”

She chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a free country. I don’t have a restraining order out against you. Do you have one out against  _ me _ ?!” she joked.

He scoffed. “No, never,” he replied with a content sigh. “Can you put what’s in the past behind us if we can work through it?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I said we can’t just rush back in. This time apart has helped, but I’m still almost a hair’s trigger from losing it every time I think about it. I don’t think about it as much anymore. I want that to become more of a thing.”

“That’s totally understandable. I mean...” Ulquiorra blew out a breath as he looked at the ceiling. “I watched the one you sent to my email. I got sick. I have no excuse for that night. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel. I disappointed myself.”

Orihime didn’t know what to say in response without making him feel worse, so she just hummed affirmatively.

Ulquiorra sighed before scooting up to where his pillows were at the head of the big bed. “I’m an idiot, Orihime. I know we have a long road to repair. I’m tired of feeling like this.”

“Me too. I feel like a part of my soul is missing,” she murmured.

“Um, is there anything I need to bring?” Ulquiorra felt silly for asking this. If they were faithful to each other there wouldn’t be any need for condoms or stuff like that. He had to make sure, though. “Do you want the lingerie back that I stole from you?”

“Um… you’re free to keep it for awhile if you want,” she said with a small giggle. “I can’t think of anything you’d need to bring.”

“There’s not been… Anyone else right?”

“No. Not even close. You? I mean, besides Nemu?”

Ulquiorra smiled. He was silly to worry. “Hell no. I can’t stand people, you know this.”

“You really can’t, can you?” She smiled, too. “So when are you getting into Austin?”

He pulled the phone away from his face and looked at his calendar. Nanao had updated it. “We’re leaving on the third, stopping at some cities along the way. The fourth is Las Vegas, radio appearance. The fifth is Dallas and then I’ll be in Austin on  the sixth.”

“Oh, busy. Who is coming with you?” He had said, “we”. Also, she had anticipated that his label wouldn’t let him go without handlers or assistants.

“The drummer, uh, Aaron or something. The bassist, um, Ggio? I don’t know, he’s an annoying little shit. Nemu.” Ulquiorra cringed a bit.

Orihime’s lip curled in disgust. “Oh. I didn’t know you had a dedicated band already.” She didn’t say anything about Nemu on purpose. Her initial reaction was not anything that needed to be put out into the universe. She needed to let that information settle a moment.

“I know you’re sitting there thinking about it. I can practically hear the thoughts coming off of you. I don’t like the idea either, but she’s really… You know I’m not even sure what the fuck it is she does… She makes me look good in front of cameras.”

“Does she? Because you look pretty much the same as you did before you left except too thin and more marked up.” She wasn’t able to keep the disdain out of her voice. “I’m not blaming you for that. She’s either incompetent or too distracted trying to weasel her way into your personal life to do her job properly.”

There it was. Ulquiorra had to chuckle at the jealousy that rolled off Orihime’s tongue. “To be fair, I wouldn’t let her do her job. I wouldn’t make decisions or I’d be too messed up to let her. That’s not going to happen from now on. Like I said, I’m tired of feeling like this. I’m tired of going with the flow.”

She smiled. “That’s good to hear. I’ve heard that the flow always just goes downhill, anyway. Or is that the shit? I don’t remember. Something about gravity and wastewater,” she chuckled.

“I can’t believe I’m going to see you in five days.” Ulquiorra took a deep breath because he was still trying to process the fact that she wanted to see him; wanted to be with him. “I’m going to spoil you, I hope you know that. All the attention. If I wasn’t working, I wouldn’t leave your side.”

“Can’t say anything against that,” she said, punctuated with a contented sigh. “We’re leaving here late Wednesday night and driving straight through to Austin, so we’ll get there sometime during the day on Thursday. Shu and Kira’s friends live a bit off the main drag, apparently. I’ve never been to Austin so I don’t know what it’s like.”

Ulquiorra had never been there either. “I’ve only been around Ohio, O’ Hare and Los Angeles, so this is going to be an experience for me,” he said.

“Well, if you find any cool spots, make notes. Maybe we can visit someday.”

Oh. That made his heart and stomach flutter. It wasn’t a bad feeling but it was weird. “We. Jesus, I know I shouldn’t feel this happy but I am. It’s odd.”

“I don’t think it’s odd,” she countered, using a small, intimate voice. “I think it’s hopeful.”

“How’s Dad doing?”

Orihime sighed. “The last time I saw him, not good. That was a few days ago, though.”

“A few days ago? Wouldn’t you see him every day if you live with him?” Ulquiorra asked.

Orihime sighed. He either didn’t remember or he wasn’t focused on that part of the conversation. “Remember when I called you a few days ago? I was all weird and scattered and begging you to eat?”

“Kinda. Why? What happened?”

“Your dad and Steve got into it that night. Steve was mad about him talking with your mom and then accused him of sheltering me with less than noble intentions. He thought I was after Jon, too.” She sighed emphatically. “Anyway, long story short, I got kicked out and had to stop working until things between them cooled down.”

“Where are you staying? Are you back in Columbus?”

“No, I bought myself an air mattress and I’m staying in Shu’s spare room until I can find a place of my own. I’m thinking of going back to Columbus, though, after all this.”

“You’re staying with him?” The words were blurted out before he could stop himself. Ulquiorra had to remain calm. “Has he tried anything?”

“I don’t know if I would consider it “trying” anything… I mean I think he wanted to but the circumstances were weird. Some guy was harassing me outside the gym and he came out and pretended we were together. He gave me a quick kiss and then I told him that was not something that could happen. He was not pleased. I’m not going to be able to stay here after we get back from Austin. I’m thinking of looking in Columbus for a new place though; if I’m not working at Occhi Verdi there is nothing for me in this town and the rent is outrageous for the lack of amenities.”

She could probably hear the long exhale he emitted. Ulquiorra was going to have words with this asshole when they met again. He swallowed his annoyance. “Just come out here. There are plenty of bedrooms at this place.”

She hummed. “We’ll see how it goes, okay? I don’t want to make the same mistakes as before.”

“We’re not making mistakes if we’re roommates. If you can’t find something out there or if shit gets too heavy, please... ” Ulquiorra paused for a moment, wondering if he was offering too much too soon. “You can count on me this time.”

The way her heart swelled at his words was almost uncomfortable. “I know you mean it. I don’t want to get in the way of your progress, though. I told you a long time ago that I need you to work on you. I still do. I need to work on me, too. I’m afraid that if we’re under the same roof it won’t take long before we end up like we were in college, just ignoring reality and hanging out in bed all the time… Not that I minded at the time,” she admitted with a small laugh.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t miss that. I miss that some days,” he murmured into the phone. “I’m not going to pressure you though. No expectations for anything.” 

She laughed again. “I miss it everyday. Let’s not kid ourselves.” 

Ulquiorra sighed. He almost blew it. It was hard for him to listen to her tell him no. “I miss it. I miss it every fucking day. The offer is on the table though...”


	12. We've Earned This

“Las Vegas! Good morning we are sitting in the studio with the members of Obscuras four!”

The host pushed a button to make an applause track come over the headphones Ulquiorra was wearing. 

“How are we today? Are we awake?”

Aaron and Ggio mumbled something of an answer while Ulquiorra sighed. “We’re okay. Not much for flying though,” he said.

“Ooh bad flight?”

It wasn’t the greatest flight, but Ulquiorra was used to flying. It had been the other two men’s first time in a plane. “It was fair.”

“So let’s get down to the nitty gritty; Obscuras four was started by you, Ulquiorra, is that right? And then after you became famous via YouTube, you started a side project with the person behind Vega Strife?”

“Yeah we were going to strike out as Vega four.”

“That, of course, didn’t happen,” the radio host pointed out. “You guys just finished your first album. Can you give us any details?”

Ggio laughed. “It was a wild ride. We had people on us all the time about the songs and the music.”

Ulquiorra smiled at that, because it was true. Tosen and Gin were always checking in on them. “We had Oetsu Nimaiya and Wonderweiss working with us on it. We’re hoping that it gets released at the end of the month.”

“The original idea behind Obscuras four was to make cover songs, right?”

“Well, and to sing my own stuff, but as it turns out, I’m not a very good songwriter,” Ulquiorra answered.

The people inside of the studio laughed. The green eyed man gave a half smile.

“You guys are going to sing for us today?” The host asked. “What are you going to be playing?”

“Bound to the Floor!” Aaron said.

***

Orihime sat in the back of Shu’s car and pretended to be asleep as they reached Little Rock, Arkansas. The trip so far had been fine, apart from the two men in the front seat taking turns bickering and being obnoxious for most of the drive. Orihime had managed about six hours of sleep, cumulatively. She needed more, but it would be her turn to drive soon. Luckily for her, while she drove it would be Shu’s turn to sleep, so it would be Kira in the navigator’s seat. She had about two more hours until they reached the Texas border and they would switch drivers. She tried to close her eyes and sleep.

Orihime woke up when the car stopped again. “Up and at ‘em, Princess,” Kira said quietly, giving her shoe a shake. “Pit stop, and then you take over. We’re at the border.” 

Orihime sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. They had left Shu’s apartment about thirteen hours ago. It was eight-thirty in the morning local time. It was probably too early to text Ulquiorra, but she wouldn’t have a chance once she started driving. She crossed her fingers and made a wish that he had set his phone to silent and wrote.

  * Just got to the Texas border. My turn to drive for the next six hours. Whoopee, big fun. I hope your interview went well yesterday! <3



She got some coffee and a cruller, used the restroom, and they were back on the road in twenty minutes. Kira turned out to be alright company when Shu was asleep. He’d go long stretches of being quiet or dozing off, which suited Orihime just fine. He didn’t complain about the music she played or the fact that she sung along from time to time.

They had bought some snacks when they stopped for breakfast in Texarkana and drove straight through to Austin. At about two in the afternoon, Orihime pulled up in front of a dusty yellow house with a chain link fence surrounding a patchy lawn that had a couple older cars parked on it and trash strewn in one corner. She parked on the street, and as soon as she turned off the ignition, the front door of the house flew open and a bald, athletic, barefoot, shirtless man came out with a wide grin and a broomstick slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, you cocksuckers made it!” the man called out as Kira exited the vehicle.

Kira wilted a bit and gave the man a half-smile. “Hey, Ikkaku. Shu’s still asleep.”

The look on the bald man’s face made Orihime think he found this idea delicious. “Allow me,” Ikkaku said, approaching the car and quietly opening the back door, before dragging Shuhei out of it by the foot and shouting, “Dead body! Get your dead body! Great for retirement parties and Bar Mitzvahs! Stun and awe all your friends with this grade-A fresh dead body!”

“Fuck off!” Shuhei shouted, kicking at the homeowner.

Orihime rolled her eyes and checked her phone.

A text waited for her.

  * been here. This place is good. Lots of… culture I guess, if you like modern cowboys. Someone yelled yeethaw last night while running through the hotel hallway. I can’t wait to see you.



She grinned and tapped out a reply.

  * I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow! Yay! I just arrived… the neighborhood we’re in isn’t so much about culture… here, a pic is worth a thousand words.



She attached a picture of the house, with the cars and the trash and Shu on the ground kicking at his shirtless friend. Then she sent another text.

  * I hope Momo the mandolin girl is less… “welcoming”. Lol.



Ulquiorra took a pic of where he was at in downtown Austin, in a cozy little cafe where was currently drinking a cappuccino, and sent it to her.

  * the Dallas interview got cancelled. So we came down early. Meet me tonight?



She smiled. 

  * Yes, please.



She looked up at the sound of a young woman’s voice. “Hi there! You must be Orihime. Shu told me all about you!” a woman who was even shorter than her with black hair tied up in a bun said, smiling so big that her eyes were invisible. 

Orihime smiled back, more than slightly uncomfortable with the implication in the woman's words about Shuhei. “Hi, yeah, I’m Orihime. Are you Momo?”

“Yep! I live next door. Grab your things and come on over. We can meet these yahoos again in a bit.”

Orihime agreed and got her things. She was shown to the home next door, which was significantly smaller and more attractive than the yellow house. There were no cars in the yard and it wasn’t strewn with trash. “This is a nice place, Momo. Shu tells me you play the mandolin!”

“Yep,” she said with another huge smile. “Did he tell you anything else about me?”

***

Nemu was currently following behind him. “You’ve got autographs in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Also, you’ve got interviews in the afternoon.”

“Okay.”

“Also,” Nemu started to say but Ulquiorra cut her off.

“Nanao just texts me all this stuff. I don’t need you trailing behind me like a puppy,” Ulquiorra huffed. 

She looked a bit put out for a moment. “Look, I know you’re going to see her. You’ve been talking about it since we left. I need to know that you’ll be back tonight.”

“I’ll give you an answer when I’m ready to leave.” With that, Ulquiorra went into his hotel room and shut the door. The place they booked rooms in wasn’t the Ritz, but it also wasn’t some seedy place that rented rooms out hourly. He looked at himself in the mirror.

He didn’t look all that great, but it would have to do. With a deep breath, he texted Orihime.

  * Where are you? I don’t want to wait any longer. Also… Am I gonna be back tonight or should I tell Nem not to wait up?



***

“And that’s when we fell down the hole in the hay loft!” Momo ended her story in giggles.

Orihime laughed politely. This girl had clearly been carrying a torch for Shu for years. It was fine with her, but she really wasn’t that interested. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. “I’m sorry, Momo, would you excuse me for a minute?”

Her host smiled and nodded, but as soon as Orihime’s back was turned, she frowned, following the redhead at a distance as she went to the kitchen to make a call.

“Hey,” he said as he was putting the finishing touches on his look. Ulquiorra had tied his hair back and was putting his watch on the same wrist that held the Hufflepuff bracelet. “You get my text?”

“Yep. Anytime you are ready I am. I can call an UBER and meet you somewhere or something? As for her… Is it really any of her business? What would she be waiting up for?”

Ulquiorra chuckled at her words. Orihime had nothing to worry about with Nemu. “I’m here working. Apparently we’re one of the main acts or on the main stage. My mom said it was a small gig. I’ve got autographs to do tomorrow morning. Nem wants me back early.”

Orihime rolled her eyes. “You’re nineteen, not ninety-seven, granddad. I think you can handle a night out. Regardless, if you gotta work, you gotta work.” She twisted her lips to the side. “Apparently my hostess and the guys next door are playing a couple taverns and stuff this week and have asked us to open and play along a couple times, so that will be fun. Momo the mandolin girl is really good. She played for me already. I hope we can play together a bit. I think it would be awesome.”

“Obscuras four has a couple of small gigs too. I brought my Fender along because I don’t trust airports, so I didn’t bring the expensive one. Um, I have a rental car, so if you want to meet me somewhere, or I can pick you up...” Ulquiorra trailed off. He wasn’t sure of how this was supposed to go. All he knew was that he wanted to see Orihime.

She exhaled in relief. She didn’t want to talk about it, but she didn’t have the money for an UBER. “Um, if you want to pick me up, you could meet Momo and Shu and Kira and the bald guy?” she said, feeling a bit guilty for trying to sell that. She knew he didn’t want to meet anyone. “I mean… it would probably be faster.”

“I can meet your friends, Woman. Besides, I’m going to talk to Hisagi,” Ulquiorra said. There was a hint of irritation in his voice when he said the man’s name. “Text me the address and I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“Okay. See you soon,” she replied in a somewhat shy, smiling voice before hanging up. “Momo, what’s the address here?” she called out.

“Who were you talking to?” Momo said, walking into the kitchen with her arms crossed over her body.

“Um, my boyfriend?” Orihime said. “He’s coming to pick me up.”

“Huh. Does _Shu_ know you have a boyfriend?” She sounded like she was accusing Orihime of something.

“He knows about Ulquiorra. He knows that I’ve always been in love with Ulquiorra,” Orihime said, somewhat defensive.

“Ulquiorra?! You mean Nel’s Ulquiorra?”

Orihime rolled her eyes and tried not to gag. “He’s not Nel’s.”

Momo laughed. “Well, times, they are a-changing. That’s probably for the best. I didn’t know them too well, but Pesche always said they were, um, weird.” It sounded like Momo was searching for the least rude way to say what she thought. She smiled then at Orihime, and for the first time the smile was genuine. “Okay, here’s the address…”

***

He got the text message and told his bandmates he was heading out. He’d be back soon, was all he said. When he put the address into his GPS, it told him it would take about twenty minutes to reach Orihime. It took him closer to thirty-five minutes because of traffic, and the neighborhood looked shady. Ulquiorra saw the houses on the street. This didn’t look to be an upstanding area. 

When he got to the address and got out of the car, he made sure it was locked before he walked to the door of the nicer looking home and knocked.

The short, black-haired woman opened the door. “Ulquiorra. How nice to see you again, please come in,” she bade as she stepped aside and swept an arm out, encouraging him to enter the tiny shoebox of a home.

“Oh shit. _Momo_ , what the hell are you doing down here?”

“I’ve been living here since I was your age. What are you doing down here?”

Ulquiorra scowled at her. Boy, was she polite. “Playing South by Southwest this week. If Orihime had told me that she was staying with you, I would have beeped from the street.”

“What a gentleman. Well, your girlfriend just got out of the shower. Glad you and crazy eyes are no more. Pesche was thinking about taking you out behind the shed and killing you. Although, he might have had half a mind to do that regardless. He’s not all there,” Momo said, leading the way into the kitchen. “Can I get you some iced tea?”

“Nah, I’ve had enough caffeine today. Also, Pesche can bite me. That whole family is insane,” Ulquiorra replied. 

“Took you long enough to pick up on that. And what the hell happened to you? Pesche wouldn’t have anything to bite onto if he wanted. Eat a fucking brownie, would ya?” she said, setting a plate in front of him.

Ulquiorra laughed and picked one up. “Is there anything in these? Are they normal brownies?” he asked before he bit into it.

“Ulquiorra, I may be a gracious hostess, but I don’t share my special brownies. These are the normies.”

He nodded his head as he chewed. “I miss your treats,” he said after he swallowed. “Where’s Orihime?”

“She should be right out. Quick question, if she’s your girlfriend, why is she shacking up with Shu?”

“Mo, do you ever mind your own business?” Ulquiorra asked after he finished the brownie. “She was living with my dad. Steve got a wild hair up his ass, my dad and him fought. Steve wanted Orihime gone. I’m not in Ohio and I just found out she was staying at Shu’s.”

“I see. I ask because I want him, so it _is_ my business. This is shaping up to be a bit less problematic than I anticipated.” She smiled. “Milk?”

Ulquiorra smiled and nodded. “Small glass, please. Also, have at him, bitch. I’m kidding about the bitch part, but seriously, Orihime’s mine. You can have Hisagi. He’s lucky I don’t kick his ass.”

“Oh, I don’t mind if you kick his ass a bit, just don’t get your frail ass broken at the same time, hear?” she said, setting a small glass of milk in front of him.

“Do I look that bad?”

“Yeah, Skeletor, you look like Halloween.”

He scoffed and picked up the glass and drank it slowly, thinking of a retort. He couldn’t think of one. “So you’re not with that one guy anymore?”

“Tosh? No… he was too much of a little brother. It was weird. I mean, I love him but… yeah, weird,” she said, shivering in disgust.

“Hey guys,” Orihime said softly, turning into the kitchen with a towel over her shoulders to protect her clothes from her damp hair.

His hand trembled as he heard her voice. Ulquiorra set the glass down, wiping his mouth off before he turned to face her. His breath caught in his throat. It had been a long time since he last saw Orihime. “Vega,” he whispered.

She grinned at him. “Hey Ernie.” She took a deep breath and bit her bottom lip, then came up and gently put her arms around his neck where he sat. He looked frail to her, too. She didn’t want to hurt him.

It didn’t take much for Ulquiorra to grab her and pull her into his lap. “You could have said the people you were staying with knew me,” he said, staring at her.

She chuckled. “I didn’t know until right before I got in the shower.”

Ulquiorra wondered how much patience he was going to have before he ended up kissing her. He licked his top lip before smiling. “I missed you,” he murmured, bringing his hand up and cupping her jaw. He felt his emotions threatening to overwhelm him and he had to take a deep breath to keep a hold of himself. “I--”

She leaned forward and kissed his lips with a light touch, lingering there long enough to smell the breath that came out of his nose, then pulled away and tucked her face into his neck. “I missed you, too.”

“You want to go now?” Ulquiorra’s voice was soft. He knew that he probably wouldn’t be taking anything slow with her while they were together. He missed her too much. 

“Sure,” she murmured into his skin, then looked up. “Can I get your number, Momo? I’d rather talk to you directly than go through Shu.”

Momo smiled. “Yeah. And hey, if you guys get bored catching up… Oh no, wait, you’re underage. Fuck that, the grown ups are going to go get wastey tonight.”

“It’s cool. If you guys lock her out, she can room with me,” Ulquiorra replied. He patted Orihime’s thigh and stood when she got up. “Speaking of which, where is he, Mo?”

“Next door with Ikkaku and his boyfriend. Remember what I said, okay?” Momo warned with an impish smirk.

“I remember. Let’s go over there,” he said. “And hold the fuck up, Ikkaku is down here too? Did you all just band together and move down here to have fucking orgies or something?”

Momo looked at Ulquiorra like something was wrong with him. “That’s exactly what we did. And made a band and broke up a band and made a new one and played dating musical chairs. You know. Run-of-the-mill stuff.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sarcasm never looked good on you, Mo. Get laid, please; save us all from the bitchiness.”

“Look who’s talking…” she retorted with raised brows and rolling eyes. “I’ll lead the way next door. I want to watch this shit show.”

“What are you two talking about?” Orihime asked, furrowing her brows and taking the towel off her shoulders. 

“Don’t worry about it, Sweetcheeks,” Momo said. “Why don’t you grab your stuff just in case and meet us out in front of Curly’s?”

“Okay,” Orihime said, suspicious of the way Momo and Ulquiorra were acting like they were in on some kind of plot. “I’ll be right out.”

Ulquiorra scowled at Momo. “I don’t want her to see this,” he grumbled at the dark-haired woman.

“Fine. I’ll distract her if she comes over before it’s done. She likes boobs, right?”

“Ugh,” he said rolling his eyes. “Just take me next door, Mo. I’m gonna punch Shuhei right in his face.”

“Okay, but word to the wise? Do it with your strumming hand, not your chord hand,” she warned, leading the way outside and cutting across the yard to a gate in the chain link fence. There was a combination lock on it that she quickly undid and then trotted across the dusty neighboring yard and opened the front door without knocking. “Hey guys, come out! I’ve got something to show ya!” she shouted inside.

“It better not be your tits!” a bitchy voice called back. “They’re so unaesthetic!”

“Shut up, you whore. Get out here! Shu! Kira! Ikkaku! You can stay in there Yumi, I don’t care if you come out or not.”

The three men came out, wincing in the bright sunlight. “What is it, Mo?” Kira asked. She simply stepped aside. 

Ulquiorra looked at the blond. He looked at the bald guy. They were still stupid looking. Then his eyes fell on Hisagi. “Sup Hisagi?” he said, stepping into the man’s personal space, elbowing Kira out of the way. 

Shu straightened his spine and neck, tipping his chin down a bit to look the slightly shorter man in the eye. There was less than two inches of difference, but with Ulquiorra’s proximity, it felt exaggerated. The man with the face tattoos put his hands on his hips and replied, “Cifer.”

“I heard what happened, you know, between you and Orihime. How does it feel to keep getting shot down?” Ulquiorra asked. He was in no way intimidated by the other guy. “Sure you put on this shy loser act, and then once you think you’ve got them, you start harassing them.”

“Harassing her? I never harassed her, Cifer. She asked me to play for her. She wanted to come over and rehearse and sing with _me_. Your dad kicked her out on her ass and I was the one she counted on. Not you.”

Ulquiorra turned his head to the side slightly and nodded. He knew this. “You’re going to bad mouth the guy who gave you a chance? Who gave you a job? And then you’re going to blame this on Orihime? You kissed her without permission, asshole. Don’t touch her again.”

Shuhei rolled his eyes. “What are you, her keeper? She can do what she likes.”

“I know she can do what she likes,” Ulquiorra snapped as he turned his attention back to the other guy. “She’s probably going to do me later instead of you. I’m not her keeper. I’m her man.”

Shu narrowed his already narrow eyes at Ulquiorra and took a step toward him so that they were only inches apart, then in a low growl, asked, “Oh yeah? What kind of _man_ fucks off and leaves a sweet piece of ass like that behind?” Shuhei smiled as he saw Ulquiorra’s brow twitch. “You should have seen the way her eyes would follow me sometimes. I knew she wasn’t ready yet, but I’m a patient guy. A couple more months? Weeks? I’d have had her begging for it.”

He could excuse the first statement, letting only the movement of his brow show his irritation. The second part of Hisagi’s words had his lip curling. As soon as the stupid ass man started giving a timeline and said that Orihime would be begging for it, Ulquiorra swung with as much power as he could, letting the knuckles of his right hand connect with Shuhei’s face. It was satisfying as pain radiated through his hand, wrist and made its way up his arm. “She didn’t want you asshole. She would never want you. What the fuck do you have to offer her? You’re a fucking convict. No one will look at you seriously, prick.”

“Ulquiorra, that’s enough!” Momo barked, marching over and grabbing the young man by the elbow as she looked at Shuhei. He had staggered backward and landed on his ass, one hand cradling his quickly swelling cheekbone. He seemed completely dazed and unable to respond. “Would somebody get him some ice, please? We’re performing tomorrow.”

Kira scurried into the house and then Momo turned to Ulquiorra. “Happy now?”

The green-eyed man turned his attention to Momo, his lips forming a thin line. “No,” he stated. “Did you hear him? I should have kicked his balls into his throat.”

Momo patted Ulquiorra’s arm in a patronizing manner. “There, there, Tiger. He was just trying to piss you off. You’d be laughing if you heard about his pathetic attempts to woo her over the phone.”

Ulquiorra sighed and turned away from the rundown house and started walking towards the other house where he had left the redhead. As he moved, he was checking his right hand to see if anything was broken. That would be the icing on the cake if he couldn’t play these damn shows this week. He looked up when he reached Momo’s door to see Orihime. 

“What happened?” she asked in a worried tone, looking between Ulquiorra’s hand and his face, trying to assess any damage.

“Nothing really. Hisagi and I had some words, is all,” Ulquiorra replied. 

“From here it looked like you had some words with a side of fisticuffs. What really happened?” Orihime bit at her bottom lip. She didn’t look over at the three people still standing around in front of the neighbor’s house though. Her attention was laser-focused on Ulquiorra.

He sighed. “He said some things I didn’t agree with. Stuff that pissed me off. Yeah, I know I got into his face first, but he deserved that punch, Orihime.” Ulquiorra looked at her and frowned. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to let him stand there and badmouth people I care about.”

Orihime closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, and then smiled a warm, soft, little smile and opened her eyes again. She felt happy and she didn’t know why, but she wasn’t going to try to talk herself out of it. “I understand. You want to get out of here?”

Standing there for a moment, Ulquiorra let her words sink in. He nodded. “Is it okay if we just go back to the hotel?”

“I think we should stop somewhere for a bag of frozen peas, but otherwise, yeah, let’s go,” she said with a small chuckle.

Tipping his head back, Ulquiorra laughed for a couple of seconds and then smiled at Orihime. “I missed you, so much.”

***

Orihime insisted on driving. She didn’t want him stressing his hand until the initial trauma had been dealt with. “A woman must care for her champion,” she had said, using a weird kind of Disney-esque fairy godmother voice to convince him. They did stop at a grocery store and get a bag of frozen peas. They also got a couple bottles of water and a box of pain medicine, then got back to Ulquiorra’s hotel.

They wasted no time after handing the keys of the rental car over to a valet to scurry through the hotel lobby and get into the elevator. Once the elevator doors closed, Orihime turned to Ulquiorra and looked up into his face. “Does it hurt really badly?” she asked with a small wince.

“It’s tolerable,” he said, looking at her. He leaned down and kissed her. “Momo told me to hit him with my strumming hand.”

Orihime grinned and laughed at that, looking to the ground for a second and then back up at him. “That Momo is a character. She was going to fight me for Shu until I told her I was with you--” she cut herself off. That was further than what they had discussed. It didn’t mean it wasn’t true, in a sense, but it was premature. She cringed a bit again. “Um… I told her you were my boyfriend. I didn’t know you knew each other. Sorry if that’s too weird…”

“I told Hisagi I was your man,” he offered. “Pesche, Nel’s brother… Momo, Hisagi, Ikkaku, Yumi, and Kira… They all used to be friends. After Pesch got back and Hisagi started running off with some other people they kind of drifted apart.” Ulquiorra looked down at the floor. “Being around Nel and her brother… We kind of know people. I used to have a slight crush on Momo, but she’s a bitch and it was an instant no. Plus she’s older than me.”

Orihime’s lip curled. “I’m older than you. And really? Her? And here I thought you only ever had eyes for me… tsk tsk tsk,” she teased. “But seriously... She’s so… Mousey.”

“I was like ten when this happened,” he said in defense of his actions. “Like I said, she can be a bitch. And you’re a couple months older than me. Not years. I have no clue how old Nemu is… She might be around our age, but she could be closer to her mid twenties.”

Orihime’s eyes widened at Ulquiorra. “Wow. I only saw her in photos but… She’s old.” Orihime laughed and then trailed off and paused. “Wait, are you trying to tell me you have a crush on her, too?”

“Fuck no. Ugh. No. She wears boring underwear. I can’t get on board with that.”

Orihime’s face dropped and she took a step back. “Oh.”

Shit. He had told Orihime what had happened between him and Nemu but he never described the circumstances surrounding it. “Uh, the beach house has a steam room. I told her she could join me, or wait upstairs. I was totally banking on her going upstairs. Instead she walked in with some boring ass white bra and a towel. That’s when we talked. She doesn’t interest me, Orihime. Most of the time I was around Nemu, all she heard about was you.”

Orihime closed her eyes and shook her head. “Still, don’t be a dumbass. Don’t put yourself in a situation like that,” she said in an exasperated way. “It looks like you want things to happen when you do that.”

“The only person I want to put myself in situations like that with is standing beside me. She’s gonna be the only woman who gets to see every side of me.”

“Well, good. But remember what I said. Also if I had to wager a guess, I’d say Nemu is closer to thirty than twenty. Cradle robber,” she grumbled and then smirked at Ulquiorra.

His face scrunched up in absolute horror. “Oh god. Gross. I’ll ask her how old she the next chance I get,” he said.

Orihime laughed and the elevator doors opened. “Which way do we go?”

Ulquiorra took her hand and led her down the hall to his room. He was the one who got the room with just one bed and huge bathroom in it. It was the honor of being the lead singer. Aaron and Ggio opted to share a room since they were roommates anyway. He didn’t know where Nemu was staying. Swiping his keycard, the door opened and he waited for Orihime to enter it first.

“This isn’t bad,” she said, looking around as she stepped past the short hall and into the bedroom area. She set her bag and the grocery bag down near the desk on the opposite wall from the bed and motioned for Ulquiorra to come over to her.

Biting his lip, he walked over to her, unsure of what she wanted. “We could have been in a motel six or something,” he replied as he stopped in front of her.

“I’m not complaining. And if Espada Records was that cheap that they couldn’t put my rockstar up in someplace without properly functioning air conditioning and with the smell of damp ashtrays, then I would recommend shopping around for another label. Anyway,” she paused, taking a breath. “Take a seat.”

“Here I thought you were going to rip my clothes off of me,” he joked as he sat down. “Espada Records isn’t that bad. The main guys are assholes but that’s to be expected.”

“That’s good I guess. Take this,” she said, handing him two of the pain pills and opening one of the bottles of water.

Ulquiorra shook his head. “I want another kiss first before you knock me out with whatever pills you’re giving me,” he said.

Orihime rolled her eyes. “It’s just ibuprofen, don’t be so dramatic.” She leaned over and pecked his lips anyway. “Take them. You have to sign autographs tomorrow.”

He smirked and dutifully took the medication she offered and then swallowed them down with several gulps of water. “Done. Now what, Nurse Orihime?”

“Now you are going to get comfortable and let a bag of frozen peas sit on your hand for fifteen minutes while you tell me about how much you missed me.”

“Fine, fine. Make yourself comfortable, I’ll go change into sweats,” he said, getting up. He walked over to where his suitcase sat and opened it, extracting a pair of comfortable pants,and then went into the bathroom. He stripped off his jeans and boxers before pulling the pajamas on. He left the long sleeved t-shirt on. Ulquiorra took his hair out of the hair tie that was holding it back and shook it out. 

Ulquiorra emerged about five minutes later. “Okay, I’m ready to get comfortable,” he said, throwing his dirty clothes into a mesh bag.

“Good. You look comfy. Lie down and I’ll give you your vegetables. I’ve already finished your water though. Do you need another one?”

“No, I’m good.” Ulquiorra sat on the bed and reclined back, propping his head and shoulders up. “So, what do you want to know?”

“I was teasing about that. You can tell me what you want to tell me. I want to look at you. May I?” she asked, her hand hovering over his non-injured wrist.

What was she going to do, inspect him? Ulquiorra peered at her before he nodded. “You can look all you’d like,” he said.

“I’m asking if I can touch you,” she clarified.

“You can touch all you’d like too.”

Her hand took that wrist and brought it close to her face. She could see the tendons running under the skin in stark detail. She wrapped her small hand around it and closed her eyes in a pained expression when the tips of her thumb and middle finger met without a problem. She kissed the inside of his wrist and then set it down, running a hand up his sleeve, feeling how thin he felt under the fabric, up his shoulder and over his clavicle, and then down his ribs and sternum. She blew a breath out of her nose at the steep fall off between that chest bone and his stomach. It made her sinuses prick. She brought her hand down his side until it made contact with his hip bone and then she had had enough. She moved his arm up so it laid parallel against the pillow and put her head on his chest. “It makes me sad,” she whispered.

That wasn’t as horrible as he expected. Ulquiorra frowned at the top of her head and sighed. “What makes you sad? How I look?”

“No, how you don’t care enough for yourself.”

“I care now. The doctor I went to see is a hardass and doesn’t take excuses. She made me realize that if I don’t take care of myself, I’m not going to be here for you,” Ulquiorra answered. “We have a plan in place. I’m going to be doing my best to straighten myself out.”

“Good,” she breathed, wrapping an arm around his small waist. “I need you to be here.” It was quiet for a moment. Orihime thought about the altercation between Ulquiorra and Shuhei, glad Ulquiorra had thrown the first punch; otherwise they might be in a hospital room instead of a hotel room. Then she thought back to the way he had looked at her when she had entered the kitchen at Momo’s house. He had worn such a pained expression. “How did you feel, seeing me again after a few months?”

Ulquiorra thought back to that moment. It hit him like a truck again. “Like my entire world stopped, shattered, and was made whole again. I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. I missed you so much. When all that happened in December… I had no clue what to do. I was broken. I still am. I couldn’t think of you at all, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop. You were all that I thought about. I tried to push it all away and I tried to push it all down.” He paused, thinking about the future; the week ahead of him. “It sucks that I have to let you go after this week. I don’t know when I’m going to see you again. What if what happened in November happens this time?”

Orihime took a slow breath. “I don’t know either. We take it a step at a time, right?” She burrowed her cheek into his body for a minute and then propped herself up a bit on her elbow to look down at him. “We decide though, right? We don’t let circumstances or ex’s or whatever dictate to us. Right?”

He brought his free hand up and ran it through her hair, his eyes watching what he was doing. Ulquiorra could look at her forever. “One step at a time and we decide, together,” he said finally, staring at her face. 

She smiled at him. “Deal.” She let her head fall on the pillow then and laid on her side, facing him. She picked up his hand again and held it to her lips, pressing them into it as her eyes stared back into his.

“What about you?” Ulquiorra asked. “How did you feel seeing me after all that time?”

She closed her eyes again, her eyebrows pinching slightly. “It’s strange,” she finally murmured into his knuckles. “It is confusing to feel so relieved and so worried at the same time. You look so small and different and tired. I feel like I barely found you and if I am not careful, you’re going to slip through my fingers. But at the same time, you’re still you and in some ways you seem a bit stronger than before.” She paused and kissed his hand again. “But when I first saw you in that kitchen it felt like I could finally breathe again after all this time. The piece of me that was gone was back.”

He gave a content sigh. Just her being by his side was comforting. “I’m going to get better. I’m eating again. I’ll bulk up. It’s surprising how much fifteen pounds makes a difference,” Ulquiorra said.

She smiled at him. “It’ll be a start. I missed you,” she said, then scooted closer and crossed a leg over his at the shin. 

“We’re going to get better,” he said. “I think tonight, I just want to hold you like this. We have time for other things.”

She hummed her agreement. “Do you want to order room service later? Pizza? Chinese? We could watch pay-per-view and just be together.” She wasn’t satisfied with their positions. She wanted to scoop him up and make him understand how she was feeling that couldn’t be put into words; like she wanted to engulf him with her affection.

She scooted up the bed a bit until her shoulders were on the pillow, then pulled his head into her chest, resting her lips in his black hair and threading an arm under his neck while the other held his body close to hers. She kept her legs in contact with his, and when they were finally situated, she sighed and kissed the top of his head as his cheek laid against her breast. She let the arm on top drift back and forth between his shoulder and his cheek, softly running the side of her thumb against the sharp cheekbone, and then returning to his shoulder without any sense of urgency.

“Pizza sounds good. Maybe some wings?” He stopped speaking for a moment. “Orihime, talk to me,” he said quietly. Something was bothering her… At least it seemed like it to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know… I wouldn’t say something is wrong, I just feel this ache… I just want to hold you until you feel better, because seeing you like this and hearing about how hard it was for you hurts my heart. I’m inarticulate, sorry.” She stopped trying to explain and held onto him a little tighter. After about half a minute she began to hum _Time After Time_ while stroking his hair, only breaking into the lyrics as she got to the chorus, “If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting, time after time…” She trailed off and resumed humming as her emotions threatened to spillover.

Ulquiorra understood what was going through Orihime’s head. He felt it too. He wanted to hold onto her and never let her go. He moved until his face was level with hers. He leaned forward and kissed her, letting his mouth meld to the softness beneath his. “Woman,” he whispered as he pulled back. Tears were coming to his eyes and he closed them. It was too late. There were droplets already falling down his cheeks.

“No, no, no,” she whispered, punctuating each word with a kiss. “Hush.” She pulled his face to hers and pressed her soft cheek into his. “I love you so much, Ulquiorra. Don’t be sad anymore.”

He wasn’t sad, not really. His heart was so full. He felt so happy, but at the same time, he had felt so lost for such a long time. He didn’t know how to deal with this sensation. “I love you, too.”

She had started crying somewhere between his tears and his words, and just let her tears run into his skin and onto the pillow. Then she chuckled voicelessly and murmured, “Well, I guess we can have our weepy reunion today. Just be as weak and vulnerable as we want. Just lie here and hold onto each other like babies and whisper all our fears and heartaches and soothe each other and hopefully by morning, we can start moving forward from pain. But we’ve earned this, don’t you think?”

“Yes, we have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an eye out for part 3 of the Consonance and Dissonance series, Crescendo and Decrescendo, coming soon!

**Author's Note:**

> EspadaIV can be reached at [HERE ON TUMBLR](http://espada-iv.tumblr.com/)  
> JKRobertson can be reached at [HERE ON TUMBLR](https://jkrobertson.tumblr.com/)


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